Worth the Wait

chapter 38


“Jared, you ain’t finished with that tie yet?”

Jared turned from the mirror in the church basement and faced his brother. Malcolm looked comfortable and polished in his traditional tuxedo. Devin and Uncle Bruce were sitting on a couch in a corner laughing, while Mr. Carter sat nearby smiling. They were all fully dressed, while Jared was still trying to figure out the intricacies of a bowtie.

Malcolm had the same goofy grin on his face he’d sported when Jared had picked him up for the bachelor party the night before. Surprisingly, he’d enjoyed himself just sitting at a bar laughing and drinking with Malcolm, Devin, Uncle Bruce, and even Mr. Carter. Months ago, he would have bemoaned the lack of naked women involved. Now, the only woman he wanted to see naked asked for something he wasn’t sure he could give.

Jared scowled at Malcolm. “Who knows how to tie a damn bowtie?”

Malcolm laughed and walked over. “Most men who wear more than workout clothes every day.” He pushed Jared’s hands out of the way and took over.

“You would pick a bowtie instead of a regular tie. I know how to tie that,” he grumbled.

Malcolm shrugged. “Kenyatta and I wanted a simple and straightforward wedding. No frills, no extras. A traditional tux is as simple as you can get.” Malcolm finished and stepped back smiling.

Jared rolled his eyes. “Are you gonna grin like that all day? It’s sickening.” He turned back to the mirror. The tie was perfect, but he still tugged at it.

Malcolm laughed and sat on the arm of the couch next to the mirror. “Why shouldn’t I smile all day? I’m finally marrying the woman I love. After two years of waiting, I’m not ashamed to be happy.”

Jared looked over to make sure the other guys weren’t listening before turning to face Malcolm. “Why get married? Why does the piece of paper make what you two have real? I mean, you were perfect before and committed to each other. Marriage doesn’t change that.”

Malcolm rubbed his goatee and considered Jared. “I know marriage doesn’t mean much to you, but it does to me. I saw what Mom and Dad had before he got all messed up, and I want that. Kenyatta does too. She’s always wanted the same type of relationship her parents have.”

Jared shook his head. “But you can have that without being married. You can still be committed to each other without going through the pomp and circumstance of a wedding.”

“You could, but it’s more than that. When I almost lost Kenyatta, I knew I wanted to be with her forever. I can tell her every day, but I want to make it official. I want to stand before God, our family, and friends, and tell her I love her and will be there forever. No matter what comes our way, I want the world to know I’m with her until the end. I want to introduce her as my wife, not just my girl or my lady.” Malcolm stood and continued to grin. “I know it sounds crazy to you, bruh, but that’s just me. You’ll just have to permanently revoke my player card.” Malcolm hit Jared’s arm and walked over to join the rest of the guys.

Jared watched Malcolm as he joined the conversation with Devin and Uncle Bruce. Malcolm laughed and joked around a lot more. Before Kenyatta, it was always work; now he seemed happier, freer. There wasn’t a hint of anxiety or stress in his stance.

Jared looked at himself in the mirror. His shoulders were stiff. His jaw clenched. There was tension around his eyes. The only time he’d felt as relaxed and comfortable in life as Malcolm appeared was when he was with Tasha. She eased his fears about success, she made his burdens more bearable, she made his days brighter. He’d been tense and edgy since they’d parted ways. Even before her, he’d never been completely relaxed. It was always some sort of hustle: hustling to get client, hustling to start his line of food products, hustling to avoid relationships. That was what his life would go back to without Tasha.

He imagined life without her and his neck tightened. She deserved to have it all: husband, kids, the whole nine. But could he give her everything? He didn’t know if he was the type of man who could make her happy forever. She wanted the perfect life he’d never believed existed. Except it had for the months they were together.

He wanted that perfect life when he was with her. He wanted the sweet, honest, dependable woman who’d be there for him at the end of the day. He wanted to take care of her and make things easier when her job brought her down. That was why he couldn’t give her up — he had the perfect life with her, and he wanted it back.

Jared’s hands got clammy and his heart beat erratically. Damn, I can’t really be considering this.

“Jared, you all right? You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” Devin said from across the room.

Jared cleared his throat and wiped the sweat from his brow. “I’m good,” he said in a tight voice.

Malcolm and Uncle Bruce both looked over. He would have taken pleasure that the smile finally left Malcolm’s face when their eyes met, but Tasha’s dad came downstairs. Jared recognized the stern jaw and commanding posture from the pictures in Tasha’s house. Reverend Smith glanced briefly at Jared before going over to Malcolm.

“I hope you’re ready, son. The ladies have arrived and we’ll be starting soon.”

Malcolm’s smile returned full force. “I’ve been ready for years, Reverend Smith.”

Jared would have rolled his eyes if he weren’t so shaken by the realization that he wanted to marry Tasha.

Reverend Smith laughed and patted Malcolm’s shoulder. “That’s what I like to hear. Who’s your best man? I’d like to go over some things before the wedding.”

Malcolm called Jared over. Reverend Smith frowned at Jared before turning back to Malcolm with a smile. Jared barely heard the instructions, but it didn’t matter. Stand beside Malcolm, hand him the ring, walk down the aisle behind him and Kenyatta. It was pretty straightforward. The hard part would be not rushing over to Tasha the moment he saw her and telling her he thought he could handle marriage. They could elope, go somewhere just the two of them, and say simple vows. No big deal, no big fuss.

But he knew she’d want the church wedding with their family and friends surrounding them. A band, a large reception, and all the trimmings. He cleared his throat and tugged at his bowtie. He’d have to do it. Eloping would be her caving in to his terms again.

“Did you have something to add, Jared?” Devin asked.

Jared looked up. Everyone stared at him. He shook his head and wiped his hands on his pants. “Nah, just something in my throat. Is that all?”

Reverend Smith nodded. “That’s all for the wedding, but I would like to have a word with you.”

Jared looked at Malcolm, who gave him a warning look. They hadn’t discussed Tasha’s pregnancy as part of the pre-wedding peace agreement. It would have been too much to ask for the wedding day to go by without it coming up.

“Sure, where do you want to talk?”

Reverend Smith held up his hand. “There’s no need to sneak off for this discussion. We all know that my youngest daughter is … pregnant with your child.”

Devin and Uncle Bruce made faces and turned away. Mr. Carter sighed and sat on the couch. Malcolm didn’t move.

Jared nodded. “She is.”

“And we all know you two aren’t together. I’ve heard about you, and I know you’re not the type to make an honest woman out of her. So I’m asking you to step aside and let her be happy.”

Jared’s eyebrows shot together. “Excuse me?”

“It’ll be harder for her to find a husband with a baby, but times have changed and since it’s just one child it’s still possible for her to be happy. If you cared a little, step aside.”

“But sir … ”

Reverend Smith raised a hand. “I found the number of the guy who was interested in Tasha. He knows she’s pregnant and still offered to help. I believe he can make her happy, so I invited him to the wedding. Let’s make this day go smoothly, okay? No antics, no, as you kids say, blocking. Let her be happy.”

Jared’s eyes narrowed. Hitting the reverend before the wedding could only delay things by a half hour tops. “I can make her happy.”

Reverend Smith shook his head. “Please, she’s not here to see your dramatics. Just step aside.” He turned to Malcolm and smiled. “We’ll use the back stairs to go up so we don’t see the ladies.” He turned and strolled toward the stairs.

Jared pointed and started after him, but Malcolm stopped him with a hand to the chest. “Not today, man.”

“But he just told me to step aside and let another man have Tasha and my baby.” Jared tried to push away but Malcolm pressed hard.

“Jared, this isn’t a competition. It’s real life. If she’d be happier with someone else … ”

“She loves me, she’d be happier with me.”

Malcolm rolled his eyes. “Don’t ruin this day, okay? Just let it go. You can fight this out later.”

Devin stood and walked over. “It’s time to go up.”

Jared and Malcolm stared at each other. He wanted to fight this battle now. He wanted everyone to know he was the right choice for Tasha. But Malcolm was right, today wasn’t the day. He nodded stiffly and Malcolm relaxed. Jared tried to control his breathing as Malcolm, Devin, and Mr. Carter followed Reverend Smith up the stairs.

Uncle Bruce came over. He narrowed his eyes and stared at Jared. “Do you love her?”

He straightened his shoulders and looked his uncle in the eye. “I do.”

Uncle Bruce smiled. “Then to hell with them. Make all the ruckus you want today, that’s what family does — ruin other people’s occasions.” He winked before turning to go up the stairs.

Jared followed slowly. He appreciated Uncle Bruce’s advice, but he wouldn’t ruin Malcolm’s day. He’d pull Tasha to the side, explain how he felt, and covertly work to keep this guy her dad mentioned — he’d bet money it was the good doctor — away from her.

All that was shot to hell when he entered the sanctuary. Tasha stood at the back of the church. Her tan skin glowed in the silver dress and her full lips were curved into a smile. His heart lightened and his crotch tightened. His gaze traveled over her still thin figure, lingering on her stomach. The roundness of her pregnancy was only slightly visible beneath the dress. Their child was there. His mouth curved into the same goofy grin Malcolm had worn all day.

The doors of the sanctuary opened and Jared’s grin fell as Dr. Kevis Flynn entered. If Tasha was surprised to see him, she didn’t show it. They shook hands, and Kevis leaned over to kiss her cheek. White-hot jealousy shot through Jared. He took a step forward, but Malcolm grabbed his arm.

He turned to Malcolm who shook his head. Pushing back the need to rip every appendage from the good doctor’s body he stepped back. Tasha turned away from Kevis and caught his eye. Her lips parted and her eyes softened for the briefest second before she looked away.

Almost instantly, she was moving to the side and the bridal recession music began to play. He noticed nothing as the wedding party entered. He kept his eyes on Tasha. She’d sat beside Kevis. He willed her to look at him, but she avoided his gaze. She looked at everything except him. He wanted her to see the look in his eyes, to see he wanted the same things she wanted. He wanted everyone to know he loved her.

Reverend Smith began to talk. The wedding had started. He looked at Malcolm and Kenyatta. They looked as if it were only the two of them in the church. Love and happiness shone in both of their eyes. He looked back at Tasha and his heart constricted when their eyes met. He would marry her. Today if she wanted. He mouthed the words I love you and hoped she would do the same.

Instead, she closed her eyes and for the first time since he’d known her, he saw tears go down her face. She stood and turned to walk out. Kevis looked between her and him before standing too.

Without thinking, Jared did the first thing that came to his mind.

“Stop!” he called out.

• • •

Tasha froze at the door. The murmurs and rustling of the people in the church proved her imagination wasn’t running wild. Turning slowly, she faced the front of the church. Her eyes met Jared’s, hers questioning, his pleading.

“Are you stopping my wedding?” Kenyatta screeched.

Jared looked between Kenyatta and Malcolm. “No.”

“Then why did you yell stop?” Malcolm said, scowling.

Jared turned back to Tasha. “Tasha, don’t leave. Please, don’t leave.”

She looked around the church. Everyone looked eagerly between her and Jared. It was too much. The entire day had been too much. Seeing him at the altar, feeling his gaze on her so keenly it could’ve been a caress. The pain of knowing it would never be them at the altar was worse than she could imagine.

“No, you stop, Jared. This is your brother’s wedding. Please stop the games.” She turned to leave.

“No more games. Tasha, I love you. Do you hear me? I love you and I don’t care if everyone hears it.”

She turned back. He moved away and came to the front of the aisle. “You were right. I wanted our relationship on my terms. I was uncomfortable with people knowing how I felt, so I only shared my feelings with you. I was ashamed to let people know that I love you more than anything. I didn’t know how to trust what I felt. I didn’t know how to trust in general, and because of that, I hurt you. I am sorry, and I’ll show you that I’m sorry for the rest of my life.”

“But it’s not enough,” she said. “I want more than that.”

He walked toward her. “I want more than that too. Marry me, Tasha.” She staggered and he rushed forward. “Marry me today. Be my wife, let me take care of you, our child … our children. Please, Tasha, please marry me.”

Warmth spread from the tips of her toes to the roots of her hair. Tears welled in her eyes and for the first time she didn’t care who saw her crying. Jared Patterson had proposed to her in the most dramatic fashion possible, and she was ecstatic.

He reached for her, but she hesitated. “But you said marriage doesn’t matter.”

“It matters when you realize you’ve waited forever for your soul mate.”

Unwilling to fight her feelings, Tasha flung herself into his arms. His lips came down on hers and she clung tighter. He kissed his way to her ear and repeating over and over that he loved her. She didn’t know how long they stood there, before the sound of people clapping broke through her haze.

Jared pulled away but held her hand. He rushed back down the aisle and pulled her along with him. He turned to Kenyatta. “I’m sorry.”

Kenyatta grinned and shook her head. “I can’t believe it.”

He pulled Tasha to his side and joy fluttered through her.

Jared looked at her dad. “Reverend Smith, I know we’ll need a license later, but will you marry us after you marry them?”

Tasha reluctantly met her father’s gaze and was surprised to see satisfaction in his eyes. They hadn’t spoken in weeks, but apparently the tidy ending to her pregnancy pleased him. It hurt a little to know that’s what it took for him to accept her, but her happiness was too great to make room for pain.

Her dad smiled. “If you promise no more outbursts.” There was laughter from the pews and her dad’s smile broadened.

Jared looked back at her. “Is this okay? I know you probably had your perfect wedding planned out.”

Tasha looked at her sister, standing as a bridesmaid, smiling at her. Her mom sitting in the front pew with tears in her eyes. Her dad at the pulpit with a self-satisfied look. Then she looked at Jared, smiling at her with love and affection.

“This is the perfect wedding.”