Worth the Wait

chapter 33


Jared hopped in his car and sped up I-20 east toward Helena. The morning sun was quickly burning off the fog, the only reminder of the previous night’s rain. The traffic was light on the interstate and he made good time. He’d skipped his morning workout — something he hadn’t done without reason in weeks — in his haste. When he pulled up in front of the small brick office building he breathed a sigh of relief. Devin’s Ford F-150 was parked in the side lot.

It was too early for the front door to be opened, so he walked around to the building’s side entrance. A nurse was slowly getting out of her car as he rounded the corner. He gave her his best heart-breaker smile. “I’m here to see Dr. Jones.”

The nurse didn’t smile back. She looked at her watch. “Sir, it’s seven. Our office doesn’t open until eight.”

Jared kept smiling as he walked over to help her out of the car. “I realize that, but I’m a friend of his and I really need to see him.”

She frowned at him, shook off the hand he had on her arm, and walked to the side entrance. “Like I haven’t heard that before.”

Jared rushed up behind her. “Just tell him Jared Patterson is out here.” When she rolled her eyes he reached out and took her hand. She glared and he immediately dropped his hands. “Please.”

“Mmmhmm,” she said and disappeared behind the solid brown door.

Jared tapped his foot and checked his watch. He wanted to catch Devin before he was bogged down with his patients. Plus, he had a plane to catch. He checked his watch again — only two minutes had passed, but it felt like two hours.

He turned toward the door and raised his hand to knock when it opened. Devin stepped back when he saw Jared’s raised fist. “I know you didn’t come all the way up here just to hit me.”

Jared dropped his fist. “Nah, man, I was about to knock.”

Devin stepped out and eyed Jared curiously. “What’s going on? Malcolm and I have been trying to reach you.”

Jared ran a hand over his face. “I know. He even came by the house last night. I pretended I wasn’t there.”

Devin crossed his arms. “You want to tell me why?”

“Because I didn’t want to see him.”

“I know you have a tendency to avoid difficult situations, but there’s no need to do that with Malcolm. He’s your brother.”

Jared shook his head. “And he’s a choir boy. I didn’t want to listen to him preach.”

“Preach about what? How you treated Tasha? Because if that’s the case you’ll hear it from me instead.”

“You two need to preach to Tasha about how she treated me.”

“Jared, that girl loved you.”

“Yeah, she loved me enough to sneak and get pregnant.” The words didn’t feel right. But what else could he say? He’d seen the evidence.

Devin unfolded his arms and put them on his hips. “Tasha’s pregnant?”

Jared rubbed his jaw and began to pace. “Yes. She told me in Atlanta.”

Devin reached out to grab Jared’s arm. “And you kicked her out after she told you that?” He glared at Jared.

Jared pulled away. “You don’t understand. I found a condom in my bag with holes in it. She was poking holes in my condoms, Devin.” He shrugged. “She tricked me.”

Devin frowned. “Tasha poked holes in your condoms? You’ve got to be mistaken.”

Jared shook his head. “I don’t want to believe it. I swear I don’t, but what other explanation is there? I caught her going through my bag in Charleston. It was one of the same condoms we’d had down there. She even told me how much she wanted to get married and have kids. I just didn’t think she would do that.”

“Did she confess?”

“No. She says she didn’t do it.”

“Maybe she didn’t.”

“I wasn’t sleeping with anyone else when we were together. Who else had access?”

Devin held up his hands. “I don’t know, but she doesn’t seem the type.”

“I didn’t think Tasha would do something so low either.” Jared sighed and leaned against the nurse’s car. “You were right in Atlanta. I did love her. Shit, sometimes I feel like I still love her. But I can’t be with her knowing she did that to me.”

If Devin was surprised he didn’t show it. “Jared, she’s having your baby. Regardless of the circumstances, you’ve got to make things work.”

“I can’t. I’m leaving for L.A. today.”

Devin scowled. “You’re leaving? What about Tasha?”

His stomach clenched. “Look, she chose to get pregnant without telling me. I don’t owe her anything.”

Devin stalked over to Jared. “I don’t condone what she did, but you can’t just up and forget your child like that.”

“I know, but I need some time … away from her. When I’m around her, I forget how messed up she treated me. I can’t deal with that.”

“So you’re gonna run. Just like you always do.”

Jared stood. “Look, the plan to go to L.A. came long before Tasha got pregnant. It’s Cassandra’s birthday, I go every year.”

Devin looked skeptical. “When are you coming back?”

Jared shrugged. “I don’t know, Malcolm’s wedding.”

Devin pointed his finger. “That’s September.”

“I know.”

Devin raised another finger. “It’s June. You’re going to forget the woman who’s having your baby for the entire summer?”

Jared sighed. “That’s why I’m here. I want you … no, I need you to check in on Tasha for me. Make sure she and the baby are okay. If she needs anything let me know. I’ll get it.”

Devin’s brown furled. “Why aren’t you telling her this?”

Jared balled his fists. “Because I can’t look at her right now.” He took a deep breath. “As much as I want to turn my back on her and the baby, I can’t. I wouldn’t make a good father on my own, and I don’t have to be in their lives to take care of them.”

“Just like you weren’t in your mother’s life, but took care of her,” Devin said.

“Yeah, something like that.” Jared looked at his watch. “I’ve got a flight to catch.”

“Are you going to tell Malcolm about the baby?”

Jared’s lips rose in a twisted sad smile. “I’ll call him from L.A. If I told him in person, he’d try to kill me.”

Devin drew his lips in. “You’re probably right. Look, man, don’t stay out there that long. I guess I can understand your need to get away after that kind of betrayal, but come back and work things out with Tasha. You two are having a kid together.”

“I’ll see what I can do.” Jared reached out his hand. Devin looked at him for a second before taking it. “Thanks, Devin. Just keep an eye out on her.”

“How am I supposed to do that from Helena?”

Jared smiled. “Kenyatta will tell Malcolm everything, and he’ll come running to you complaining about how pissed he is at me. Don’t you know that’s why you’re our friend? You keep us sane.”

Devin grimaced. “Well who’s going to keep me sane?”

Jared laughed. “You got it all together, man.”

Devin joined in but the smile didn’t reach his eyes. “I do, I guess.”

Jared turned to go back to his car, but paused. “Oh, and keep an eye on that doctor Kevis whatever. I don’t want him sniffing around trying to claim my baby.”

Devin’s brows rose. “Is he still trying to see Tasha?”

“He was at her dad’s church this weekend, and they looked all chummy.”

“Why do you care, if you don’t want her?”

“I never said I didn’t want her. I just don’t want to want her,” Jared said. He turned and got in his car.

He checked the clock on his dashboard. It was seven twenty. His plane didn’t leave until nine. He pulled out of the parking lot and drove through the small town toward the interstate. He didn’t need to go back home — his bags were in the car and anything else he might need his assistant could send later. But he wasn’t in the mood to sit around the airport for hours. Columbia airport was nowhere near as busy as Atlanta or Charlotte, so arriving early wasn’t a necessity. He wouldn’t give in to the urge for what he wanted to do. He’d done that on Sunday, and that had blown up in his face.

His mind ran over the conversation he’d had with Tasha on Sunday. She was adamant she hadn’t gotten pregnant on purpose, and he wanted to believe her. He wanted to believe her so badly he was almost willing to say to hell with it and try to get back what they’d had. Or, what they’d started to have. He couldn’t hate her. He hadn’t lied when he told Devin the love wouldn’t go away. She’d buried herself deep inside of him in a place that no other woman had ever accessed. Because of that, he didn’t trust himself around her. Seeing her get sick on Sunday was like a knife in his chest. He wanted to take care of her the same way he’d done when she’d had the allergic reaction. Watching her stand for the rest of the church service had annoyed him more than he cared to admit. She should have been sitting down, not wearing herself out.

He gripped the steering wheel and cursed in frustration. But he couldn’t ignore what he’d seen. His mistrust in women went too far back, it was so much a part of him it overruled his need to have her in his life. Even though he now knew the misunderstanding behind his father’s death, it didn’t change the fact that he’d spent the last fifteen years believing women were untrustworthy. One revelation couldn’t take away years of having women pursue him for money, sex, or fame. He didn’t want to see her and he didn’t want to talk to her. Asking Devin to let him know if she needed anything was better than most men would do in this situation.

Yet his hand still grabbed his cell phone resting in the cup holder and pressed the preset number for the Rec Commission. His immediate need to make sure she was okay before he left town outweighed his desire to forget her.

Feeling sick with himself for calling after admitting to Devin he couldn’t handle seeing her, he started to hang up but the receptionist answered on the second ring.

He cleared his throat. “Is Tasha Smith in?”

“No, she called in sick today. Is there anything I can help you with?”

Jared squeezed the phone. “No thank you. I’ll try later.” He tossed the phone in the passenger seat. He’d reached the outer edges of town and increased his speed as he approached the interstate. Ignoring the voice in his head calling him a fool for caring, and the knowledge that going to her took him on the opposite side of town from the airport, Jared drove toward Tasha’s home.