Worth the Wait

chapter 31


Jared hated himself for being concerned after Tasha ran down the hall. He shouldn’t care if she was sick. Her welfare, or that of the baby, wasn’t his problem. Yet he still dropped Monica’s hand and followed Tasha.

“Go on in. I’ll be back in a minute,” he said to Monica over his shoulder and jogged down the hall.

He didn’t look back to see if Monica heard him. He wasn’t there because she’d invited him. He’d run into her in the parking lot and walked in with her. He was there to catch a glimpse of Tasha. Anxiety and self-loathing had filled him as he’d gotten out of the car in front of Tasha’s church. He’d felt like a fool for coming to see her. He’d been overwhelmed with relief when he’d seen Monica in the parking lot. Going in with her hid what a broken-hearted fool he was for pining after a woman who wasn’t worth it.

His anger over what Tasha had done hadn’t diminished since Atlanta. Now he wanted answers. He wanted to know why she tricked him. Was it for money? Had she known her claims of him not being what she wanted would make him want to be a good man for her? He was used to women using him for their own selfish reasons, but no one had gone so far as to hurt him so completely. And he wouldn’t be satisfied until he knew why she’d done it.

He paced outside of the bathroom. He begrudgingly admitted he was worried about the baby. He’d tried not to think about the baby, but knowing she was having his child pressed on him like a heavy weight. He wasn’t father material and wouldn’t fathom trying to take the baby from her, but he knew he wouldn’t be able to keep himself from ensuring she took care of it. It was a part of him, and his family.

His pacing stopped when she came out of the bathroom. The anger, hurt, and disbelief that had been so clear on her face earlier was gone. She looked calm, with a smile on her face that would look genuine to anyone but him. He knew her well enough to tell it was fake. Or at least, he’d thought he knew her well enough.

She froze when she saw him, and to his amazement, her frozen smile widened. “Do you need help finding something in the church?” She sounded like a flight attendant.

“I wanted to … ” He couldn’t say he wanted to check on her. He wouldn’t give her the satisfaction of knowing that despite how much he hated what she’d done, he still wanted her. “I wanted to tell you I’m leaving for L.A. next week. It’s Cassandra’s birthday.”

“You made it abundantly clear that I mean nothing to you. Why are you telling me this?” Her voice was still pleasant and it irked the hell out of him.

“I’m telling you because you’re carrying my baby.”

“Which you don’t want, so your whereabouts mean nothing to me.”

He rolled his eyes and turned away from her. Instead of yelling in frustration, he took a calming breath and ran his hands over his face. When he turned back, he said, “So that’s your game? Reverse psychology? Tell me all the reasons why I’m wrong so I’ll try to do right?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

She turned to walk away, but he blocked her path. Their eyes met and he almost lost himself in their honey colored depths. He took a deep breath and her clean scent assailed him. Damn, why did she have to smell so good? She broke eye contact first and stepped back; he mirrored her actions.

“Why did you do it, Tasha? Why did you trick me?”

Her smile left her face and she scowled at him. “I didn’t trick you. I didn’t plan on getting pregnant.”

“Just admit it, and I’ll move on. I’ll give you what you need for the baby if you’ll just admit you did this on purpose.”

“I won’t admit to anything. Why don’t you ask Monica? Was she the one you were sleeping with when we were together?”

He scoffed. “I slept with Monica before I slept with you.” She turned away and put her face in her hands. “Don’t lay blame somewhere else. I saw you going through my bag in Charleston.”

She spun to face him. “I didn’t go through your bag to punch holes in the damn condoms, I was looking for something to eat.”

He clenched his fists. “Dammit, Tasha, stop lying to me. Just tell me why you did it. Did you think I’d marry you?”

She held up one hand and put the other on her forehead. “Let’s stop. This is pointless. You are determined to believe the worst about me, and I can’t … deal … with knowing how easily I fell for you. I’m having this baby, and I don’t need anything from you. My life will be just fine once you’re out of it.” She lowered her hand and placed the fake, frozen smile back on her face. “I hope you do well in L.A. Goodbye, Jared.”

He reached out as she walked away, then closed his hand and pulled it back. There was nothing left to say. She denied it so sincerely he almost believed her. He wanted to believe her. The Tasha he thought he knew wouldn’t have deceived him, but he’d seen the evidence himself. He didn’t know Tasha at all.

He walked back toward the doors leading into the fellowship hall. Tasha was standing inside. When he entered, she passed him a bulletin and fan. She smiled as if he was any other late arriving parishioner, but her eyes didn’t meet his.

Monica waved at him from one of the back pews, and with an inward sigh, he walked over to join her.