Worth the Wait

chapter 28


Jared stood by the door of the banquet hall and checked his watch. An hour had passed since Devin and Tasha left.

He looked across the room at his mom and Uncle Bruce dancing. Pain and anger sliced through him. Why didn’t they tell him about his dad? He’d replayed every encounter he’d had with his dad, trying to find signs of addiction. After Malcolm left for college his dad had been busier, working later, and was easily frustrated and distracted. He’d blamed it on his job, but it must have been more. Around that same time, his parents started spending less and less time together. It wasn’t anything drastic; his mom started going to church and family functions by herself a lot more because of his dad’s schedule. Had his dad been out getting a fix instead of working? Had his mom known the entire time what was going on?

He tapped his toe, checked his watch, and rubbed his jaw before looking out the door toward the entrance. Where in the hell was Devin? He wasn’t concerned about getting Tasha back once he explained, but he needed to talk to her. He needed her soothing voice and soft touch to ease his anxiety. He needed to explain to her how his family’s lies were tearing him apart.

He stopped his fidgeting and froze. She had to come back to their hotel room. Her clothes were there, and she needed a ride back to South Carolina. His shoulders relaxed and he breathed easier for the first time since she’d walked out the door.

Mildly comforted by these thoughts, he still jumped and hurried toward the entrance when he saw Devin approach.

Devin was shaking his head before Jared even spoke. “Don’t ask me where I took her, she doesn’t want you to know.”

Jared scowled. “You can’t be serious. Just tell me where she’s at so I can go get her.”

“Why? Do you love her?”

Jared tapped his foot and looked away. “Just tell me where she is.”

Devin scoffed. “You can’t admit it to me, can you? You’d rather keep up the appearance that you’re some kind of player than admit you fell for her.”

Jared waved dismissively. “You know what? Keep your secret. She has to come back to our room. I’ll wait for her there.”

He turned to walk out, but Devin stopped him. “She’s with a friend and she doesn’t have to come back to your room. Do you really think she’s going to face seeing you again when you lied to her like that?”

The truth of Devin’s statement twisted his gut. Tasha wouldn’t leave a friend to come back and face him. He clenched his jaw; she would probably go back to South Carolina without talking to him first.

He gave Devin a hard stare. “She’ll be back.”

Devin shook his head. “I don’t know. She seemed pretty hurt.”

“She knows me.”

Devin grinned. “So she knows you’re an a*shole?”

Jared glared at him. “Whatever.” He looked around the room, but he didn’t see Malcolm or his mom. “Tell Malcolm I’m leaving. I’ll call him tomorrow.”

He brushed past Devin and headed for the lobby. Anxiety fueled his urgency as he absently waved goodbye to people. His mind went over everything she’d said over the past few weeks. She must have mentioned a friend in Atlanta before.

He stopped abruptly. His mother stood at the glass doors leading out of the building. She stared at him, her eyes calm and assessing. “I knew you would sneak out without talking to me. Bruce told me he filled you in on what happened.”

He opened his mouth, but no words came out. What was there too say? They hadn’t talked in years, now a jumble of emotions bounced around within him fighting for release. The dominant one was hurt. Hurt no one trusted him enough to tell him the truth about his dad. He’d royally screwed up by not telling Tasha how he felt and letting her walk out of the door. He could use her hand in his, and her soft voice telling him things would be okay.

“Can we talk about this tomorrow?” He moved toward the door.

She didn’t move out of his way. “We’ll talk now.”

“I need to go.”

She scowled. “Where, to find that girl you brought here tonight?”

Jared stepped back. “That girl has a name. Tasha.”

His mom waved her hand. “What does it matter, Jared? You only brought her here to bother me. I know the type of women you date, so I know she isn’t worth you walking out on this discussion.”

“You don’t know what type of woman I date.”

She pushed away from the door and reached for him. “That’s because you haven’t spoken to me in years.”

He stepped back, avoiding her touch. “You should have told me about Dad.”

She dropped her hand. “You didn’t give me a chance. After it happened, you were so upset.”

“I had a right to be upset.” His voice was loud, and a few people in the lobby turned to face them. He lowered his voice. “My dad dropped dead from a heart attack after seeing my mom kissing another man. You should have told me.”

His mom closed her eyes and crossed her arms. When she looked at Jared again her eyes glistened with tears. “Jared, you wouldn’t even look at me in the hospital. You were so angry, if I would have tried to explain, you wouldn’t have listened. Then you started college and ran to South Carolina, then Los Angeles.”

“That’s no excuse. You could have called … ”

“For what? I’ve had to talk to you through Malcolm ever since.”

“Then why didn’t you tell Malcolm?”

“I’d always assumed you told him, and that he was too principled to say anything to me,” she said. “Why didn’t you say anything? You hated me so much. I would have expected you to want your brother to hate me as well.”

Jared sighed and looked away. “I never hated you. I hated myself because I couldn’t. Do you know how hard it is to still care for your mother, even when you think she’s the reason your father died? I didn’t want Malcolm to feel the same.”

His mom gasped and reached out to touch him. Again he stepped back. Pain flashed in her eyes. Eyes the same color as his. She balled her outstretched hand into a fist and put it over her chest. “I’m glad to know you never hated me. Because I’ve always loved you, Jared.”

He hadn’t heard his mom say she loved him in years. A rush of emotion hit him, and he didn’t know how to take it. He didn’t deserve his mother’s love. Not after the way he’d treated her. He didn’t deserve Tasha’s love, either. But he wanted both.

Jared rubbed his hand over his jaw and looked away from him mom. “Look, I’ve gotta go find Tasha. She’s not like the others, she’s … she’s my rock.”

He glanced at his mom who nodded. Saying no more, he brushed past her and left the building.

• • •

Jared arrived at his hotel in record time. He burst through the door of his room and called out Tasha’s name. There was no answer, but still he checked the bedroom and bathroom. He pulled out his cell and called her number. It went straight to voice mail.

“Think, Jared, think,” he murmured to himself. Where would she be? Who would she run to? He thought about the friends she’d mentioned over the past few weeks. He snapped his fingers — there was a friend in Atlanta. A female friend, but he couldn’t remember her name. That had to be who she’d gone to.

He went into the bedroom and rummaged through her bag. He knew it was useless. No one carried address books anymore. Any contacts she had would be in her cell phone. She might have a card or contact information in her wallet, but that would be with her. He froze in the middle of pulling out her clothes and turned to look at his bag. Her wallet was with him.

He folded his hands in front of him and looked up. “Thank you.” When they’d stopped for gas, she’d gotten out her wallet to buy some chips and he told her not to worry about it. She’d thrown her wallet in his bag on the backseat of the car instead of putting it back in her purse. Smiling, he pulled clothes out of his bag. He had to remove everything before finding it. He reached for it and stopped with he saw the silver tip of a condom wrapper sticking out of the panel in the bottom of his duffle bag.

His smile softened as he pulled it out. It had to be left over from the Charleston trip; he’d brought gold condoms to Atlanta. He’d thought they’d used all of them in Charleston. He sat on the edge of the bed and stared at the wall. Charleston seemed like it happened yesterday, but so much had changed. He never would have imagined he’d fall in love with Tasha. Or that he’d be racking his brain trying to find her when she left.

He rubbed the wrapper with his thumb. He’d have to use this one when they made up. Kind of a tribute to their beginning. He frowned. The wrapper wasn’t smooth. Instead it was rough, irregular. He lifted it and took a better look. Tiny pin marks broke the surface. He flipped it over; the same thing was on the other side.

A vision of Tasha going through his bag in the middle of the night when they were in Charleston flashed through his mind. He’d believed her when she said she was looking for something to eat, and instead she’d been poking holes in his condoms!

Betrayal pierced his heart like an arrow. She’d played him. She’d been trying to trap him from the start. All of her talk about losing her virginity to find a good man had never sat right with him. He should have known she was up to something more. She was trying to get pregnant, trying to catch him. He stood and balled the spoiled condom in his fist.

Tasha, his Tasha, was no different from the rest of the women he’d dated. They always wanted something. He’d thought she really cared. He’d trusted her more than he’d trusted another woman in his life. And she’d betrayed him — hurt him — more than any woman ever had.

Dear God, please don’t let her be pregnant, he prayed. Because if she was, she was in for a big surprise. He didn’t want kids, and he’d be damned if he was going to pay for one conceived in deceit. He’d fight her in court for the rest of his life before paying for a child she tricked him into having.