Worth the Wait

chapter 32


Tasha didn’t hear a word of her father’s sermon. She spent the entire service staring at the cross above the pulpit. The struggle to ignore Jared seemed physical. It was as if she could feel him in the same room, breathing the same air and hearing the same things. A few times during the service, her skin would tighten and tingle, and she knew he was looking at her. During those times, she read the words on the cross over and over, to avoid meeting his gaze.

She wouldn’t talk to him as long as he accused her of deliberately getting pregnant. She’d always wanted to have kids, but if given a choice she wouldn’t have had his child. Or at least, the child of the Jared she knew now. She’d been afraid, but she’d admit hopeful, when she’d first learned of her pregnancy. But Jared’s accusations killed all of that hope, and turned the light happiness she’d had in her heart into a cold, dead weight in her chest.

The final chords of the benediction played and Tasha gave up her cross gazing vigil to prepare for everyone’s departure. Her gaze traveled to Jared and an electric shock went through her when their eyes met. She quickly looked away and smiled as she watched her dad and his deacons descend from the pulpit to walk down the aisle. She stepped to the side to give her dad room at the door.

“Are you okay, Tasha?” her dad asked. “You looked as if you were daydreaming through my sermon.”

Tasha patted her dad on his shoulder. “I’m fine, Daddy. You did a great job.”

He didn’t look as if he believed her, but couldn’t say more as church members began to exit. Her dad shook everyone’s hand on the way out and Tasha stood beside him, smiling and nodding. She was about to leave her dad’s side to join her mom and sister and the front of the church when Kevis approached.

Her eyes widened when her dad shook his hand and turned to smile broadly at Tasha. “Tasha, I’m sure you’re glad to see our newest visitor. I’d hoped you would have gotten here earlier to sit with him. He came to bible study earlier just to see you, although I hope he enjoyed the lesson and my sermon.”

Kevis smiled at her dad. “I did, sir.” He turned to smile at her. “Good morning, Tasha. You look wonderful.”

Her dad beamed. “You two go on and talk.” He ushered Kevis around him toward Tasha then turned to the next people exiting.

She took Kevis’s hand and pulled him down the aisle away from her dad and the exiting congregation. Jared and Monica were shaking hands with her father now. Jared smiled cordially to her dad, before quickly moving on. He glared at her over his shoulder as he walked through the door.

She ignored the pain of that look and instead gave Kevis her practiced smile. “What are you doing here?”

“It’s been two weeks since our date, and not a word out of you. I’ve played basketball at the Rec Commission almost every night, and I haven’t seen you there. I remembered you saying your father preached here, so I thought I’d take a chance.” He raised his eyebrows and shrugged. “I hope my persistence is wanted. I thought we had a great time.”

Tasha nodded, but looked toward the front of the church. Her mom and sister were watching her and Kevis with unconcealed interest. “I did have a great time. I’ve just had some things come up. It’s kept me busy.”

“Is that your nice way of saying you’re not interested?”

She shook her head, but still avoided his eyes. “No, I was interested. I am interested. I just don’t know if the time is right. Or if you’ll stay interested.”

He gently took her chin in his hand and turned her to face him. “I was interested the first time I saw you. Nothing has changed.”

She sighed and really smiled for the first time in weeks. “You say that now.”

“And I’ll continue to say that. I meant what I said on our date. I’m not into playing games, I’m looking for something real.”

Tasha reached up and pulled his hand from her face. She didn’t let go, but held his hand in hers. “Why couldn’t I have met you two months ago?”

He frowned, but her dad walked up before he could question her. “Tasha, why don’t you invite Kevis to dinner?”

Tasha looked between her dad and Kevis. “I didn’t know you were so close.”

Her dad shook his head. “Just met him today.” He grinned at Tasha. “I guessed you were dating someone, I’m glad you finally decided to introduce him to the family.”

“Daddy … ”

“It’s okay, Tasha,” Kevis cut in. “I would love to join your family for dinner.”

Tasha sighed. It would be easier to get this over with than try to explain to her dad she and Kevis had only had one date. A part of her realized by doing this, her parents may assume Kevis was the father of her child. She had no intentions of telling them who the real dad was. Angie would know, but she wouldn’t tarnish her parent’s good thoughts about Malcolm by admitting what an ass his brother was. But, she’d be sure to clear Kevis’s name.

Her dad’s eyes shined with pride. “Good. Good. Tasha, why don’t you and Kevis go on to our house? Angie and Jonathan will be there shortly with the girls. Your mother and I have to talk to Georgia Brown. She’s got a … situation she wants to discuss with us.”

Tasha frowned. “Is she okay?”

Her dad nodded. “She’s fine. We’ll talk about it later.” He turned to Kevis. “I look forward to dinner with you, son. Tasha is our baby girl, so I want to make sure you’re taking good care of her.”

“My plans are to take good care of her,” Kevis said, smiling at Tasha.

Her dad laughed. “I like him already.” He patted Kevis on the shoulder and walked away.

Tasha raised an eyebrow. “What on earth did you do to win him over so quickly? My dad usually gives the men I date the third degree.”

Kevis chuckled. “Nothing crazy, I swear. I just introduced myself, told him that we’d been out, and that I really liked his daughter. Oh, and I might have mentioned that I was a doctor.”

She laughed. It felt good to really laugh. She hadn’t thought she’d laugh again. “You might have?”

“Hey, my goal was to impress. Father and daughter.” His full lips curled into a seductive smile.

There were probably many women who’d thrill over that smile, but it didn’t affect her in the least. The slight attraction she’d felt for him before was gone. Jared’s accusations had killed more than her happiness and hope; it had killed her faith in men.

She shook her head to rid herself of that thought and took Kevis’s hand. “You have impressed me. Come on, I’ll introduce you to my sister and you can follow us to my parents’ house.”

They met up with Angie and Jonathan at the front of the church. Angie grinned at Tasha when Kevis introduced himself as Dr. Kevis Flynn. Apparently dropping the doctor bomb impressed sisters as well. Kevis stayed with them as they gathered up Angie’s girls and headed to her parents’ house.

Thirty minutes later, Angie and Tasha began prepping for dinner. Her mom already had a pot roast ready so they busied themselves with making sides. Jonathan and Kevis got along easily as they talked about sports, but when Kevis mentioned that he’d volunteered on the campaign for a local democrat who’d run for county council, the same underdog that Jonathan had supported, they quickly got into a discussion about the upcoming election year.

Tasha and Angie came out of the kitchen every once in a while to check on the men. When she brought Kevis some tea, he took her hand and thanked her before turning back to his conversation with Jonathan. Angie didn’t ask Tasha again what was wrong, as she smiled happily between her and Kevis.

An hour after they arrived at her parents’ home, Tasha realized she was enjoying herself. It was the life she’d wanted, the life she would have had, if she hadn’t fallen for Jared and gotten pregnant. When Angie’s girls came in and insisted their dad participate in a tea party, Kevis didn’t hesitate to join.

Tasha laughed as her oldest niece took Kevis by the hand and dragged him to the tea set they’d put up in the playroom. He grinned and shrugged as he passed her, then pulled back to place a quick kiss on her cheek.

“I couldn’t help it, you look so beautiful,” he said before following her niece down the hall.

Dammit, Jared, dammit! she thought. Why did I have to fall in love with you? Why don’t you want me, or our child? I would have been happy with this life. I wanted this life, now I don’t. I want you.

But she didn’t have Jared and never would. He thought she’d gotten pregnant on purpose. He didn’t want her or the baby, and only offered to help if she admitted she was wrong. It wouldn’t be fair to Kevis to continue to act as if they could be together. In a few months, he and the rest of the world would know what had happened.

Tears filled her eyes and she rushed back into the kitchen, her hands resting over her abdomen. Angie was beating mashed potatoes. She turned when Tasha walked in and the smile on her face withered away.

“What’s wrong?”

Tasha went around Angie and took a dishtowel out of the cabinet. She dabbed her eyes and tried to smile. “Nothing, I’m — ”

“If you say you’re fine one more time I’ll choke you.” Angie marched over to Tasha and took her shoulders in her hands. “I should have known it was wishful thinking to see you and Kevis together. Kenyatta told me something happened in Atlanta, but you and Jared won’t talk about it. Tell me. I’m your sister. I love you.”

Tasha looked at Angie. The concern in her sister’s eyes was comforting. “Angie, I messed up.”

Angie frowned. “How?”

“I’m … ”

“Hey, girls.” Their mother breezed into the kitchen with a huge smile on her face. “Is dinner almost ready? Your father is starving. That was all he talked about on the way home. Eating dinner, and Georgia Brown.”

Tasha turned away from Angie. She picked up a spoon and stirred the mashed potatoes. Her mom began looking in the pots on the stove, oblivious to the tension in the room.

Tasha could feel Angie’s gaze on her back, but didn’t turn around. She was grateful when her sister answered their mom.

“Everything is ready, Mom. We just need to set the table.”

“Good, good. You know, I’m so glad you two are my girls.”

“Oh, really, Mom? Why?” Tasha asked. She didn’t turn around, but if she didn’t contribute to the conversation, her mom would ask what was wrong.

Her mom stirred the gravy on the stove. She nodded, satisfied, before answering. “It’s that Georgia. She’s gone and got into trouble.”

“What kind of trouble?” Angie asked. She moved to stand beside Tasha, who continued stirring the potatoes.

“I know it’s the new millennium, and things aren’t the way they used to be,” their mom said, “but I still don’t like the way people accept women getting pregnant outside of marriage.” Tasha’s hand slowed. “She doesn’t even know who the father is. Apparently she was seeing two guys at once. It’s awful, when you think about it. Sleeping with two guys without protection. Anyway, neither of them want her or the baby. She came to me and your dad for advice.”

Tasha stopped stirring, but didn’t face her mom. “What did you tell her?”

“To give it up for adoption. What else would we tell her? That baby would be better off with a mother and a father, instead of growing up with a mother who doesn’t have the good sense to know not to get pregnant by a man who doesn’t want her.”

Tasha gasped. From the corner of her eye, she saw Angie turn to look at her. She turned to face her sister. Angie’s eyes were full of dread as she shook her head.

“Is that what you’d tell me, Mom? To give up my baby?” Tasha said, still looking at Angie.

Angie shook her head again. “No, Tasha.”

Their mom looked between the two. “Don’t be silly. Your dad and I both know you wouldn’t do something so stupid.” Her mom giggled. “If things work out, you’ll marry that doctor in the other room and give us some legitimate grandchildren.”

Tasha whipped around to face her mom. She held the spoon she’d used to stir the potatoes in front of her like a knife. “But what if I was that stupid? Would you want me to give up your grandchild?”

Her mom scowled. “Tasha, stop. You don’t speak those things into existence.”

Her dad came into the kitchen. He walked over to the crockpot to look at the pot roast inside. “Is it time to eat?” When no one answered, he looked around and took in the scene. “What’s going on?”

Her mom shook her head. “I was telling the girls about the situation with Georgia, and apparently Tasha doesn’t like our advice.”

Her dad frowned at her. “What’s wrong with our advice? She and the baby will be better off if she gives it to a loving home.”

Her mom snorted. “Tasha was asking if we’d give the same advice to her.”

Her dad laughed. “Really, Tasha. I only know of one immaculate conception, and until you get married, I don’t think we’ll be saying your name and baby in the same sentence.” He turned back to the crockpot, dismissing the subject.

Rage, white and hot, flowed through Tasha. No one wanted her child. Not Jared, or her parents. It wasn’t her baby’s fault she’d made a mistake. A few months ago, she would have agreed with her parents’ advice. But now that she was a soon to be single mother, it wasn’t so easy to just give up the child she’d created.

She lowered her hand and placed it over her midsection. Angie gasped. Her dad turned around and looked at the two of them.

Tasha raised her head and met her dad’s eye. “It wasn’t immaculate conception. I had sex with a man who made no secret that he never wanted to marry me. I thought I knew what I was doing, but apparently I didn’t.”

Her mom reached for her dad, who glowered at Tasha. “What are you saying, girl?”

Tasha took a deep breath. “I’m pregnant, Daddy.”

Her mom cried out and her dad’s face fell. “This isn’t funny,” he said in a hard voice.

“Tell me about it,” Tasha said. “He doesn’t want me or the baby. He thinks I did this on purpose, but I didn’t. I can’t change what happened, but I can do what I think is right for the future. I’m having this baby.”

“Baby?”

Tasha turned to Kevis standing in the door of the kitchen. He looked as if he’d just seen a ghost. She nodded. “I’m sorry, Kevis. I should have told you that I … I’m pregnant.”

He frowned. “But I thought you were a virgin.”

“What?”

He shook his head. “Never mind.”

She quickly put the pieces together. “Charles told you I was a virgin. Is that why you asked me out?”

He sighed before meeting her eyes. “I told you I don’t play games, so there’s no need to lie. Yes, when Charles told me you were saving yourself for marriage, I was curious. When I met you, I wanted to go out with you regardless of what Charles said. But I won’t play second to another man.” He looked at Tasha’s dad. “It was nice meeting you all, but I think it’s time for me to go.”

Tasha glared at him. “You were only interested in me because I was a virgin?”

He shook his head. “And you used me to make your jock jealous. Goodbye, Tasha.” He left the kitchen and a few seconds later the front door closed.

“Tasha, tell me this is a joke. Tell me you didn’t really go and get yourself in trouble,” her dad said.

Tasha swallowed her surprise over Kevis’s confession and faced her dad. “I can’t tell you that, Daddy. I swear to God I wish I could, but I can’t.”

He slammed his fist on the counter, making their mother jump. “How could you do this? I thought you had more sense. You and Angie were my pride and joy. I bragged to everyone about my daughters and how they were waiting for their husbands.”

“That’s your fault, Daddy, not mine. I never said — ”

“Yes, you did!” he cut in. His face was balled up in anger and he pointed at her. “You promised your mother and me you’d wait. You said you’d keep yourself pure. Instead, you bring disgrace down on you and me.”

“I didn’t plan for this to happen.”

“What did you think would happen? Sinning with some man who doesn’t want to marry you?” He slapped his hand on the counter again and she flinched. “Good Lord, Tasha, you’re about to bring a bastard into my house.”

Angie stepped up. “Daddy, don’t say that.”

Her dad looked at Angie. “Why not? It’s the truth. She’s having a bastard, by some bastard that doesn’t want her or the baby. And now she’s expecting me and your mother to step in and help her. No, I don’t want anything to do with it.”

“I don’t need anything from you,” Tasha said. “I’ll raise this child on my own.”

Her dad waved a hand and walked out of the kitchen. Tasha ran behind him. He went up the stairs and Tasha yelled after him. “I don’t need anyone’s help! I’ll do this on my own!” The door to her parents’ room slammed.

The sound was the final blow to her heart. She bit back a sob as she stared up the stairs, waiting for her dad to come back, knowing he wouldn’t. When she turned around her mom and sister stood in the door of the kitchen watching. Her mom looked at her with disappointment in her eyes. Angie’s eyes were filled with pity and sadness. Unable to take it, Tasha grabbed her purse by the door and fled.