Worth the Wait

chapter 35


The acrid smell of strong coffee woke Jared. He groaned as he pulled a pillow over his head and rolled over, burying his face in the satin sheets on the bed. There was a dull ache behind his ears and his stomach rolled from the coffee scent he couldn’t muffle. He knew Cassandra liked her coffee strong, but that didn’t make it any easier getting used to waking up to the smell. He’d avoided looking for a place to stay in the three weeks he’d been in Los Angeles, but after suffering this particular wakeup call for too long it was time to make a decision. Either find a place in L.A., or go home.

He peeked from beneath the pillow at the clock beside the bed. The red numbers glowed, announcing that it was eight A.M. He swore and jumped from the bed, but paid for it with another wave of queasiness. Cassandra’s birthday party was today, but the celebration had started the night before. Her ex-boyfriend insisted on throwing a party in her honor at a club. Jared had known he’d pay for the tequila shots he’d drowned like Kool-Aid, and his sick stomach was testimony to that.

Ignoring the urge to lie back in bed, he pulled on a pair basketball shorts and a t-shirt before leaving the bedroom. Cassandra hadn’t asked why he’d insisted on coming early for her birthday and he hadn’t offered. He’d thought about Tasha and the baby constantly since leaving Columbia.

The look in her eyes when she’d begged him to believe her that day in her kitchen haunted him. He had believed her, and that scared him more than anything. He’d felt his suspicion slipping away when she’d insisted yet again that she hadn’t tricked him. Her sincerity pierced through all his defenses and cut him in the gut.

His love for her said she wasn’t lying, but logic said she was. He wasn’t used to trusting emotions when it came to relationships. What if his love for her was clouding his judgment? He’d never been in love before. It was scary to think love would have him trust her so deeply. So he’d run. Malcolm, Devin, his mom, they all were right. When he didn’t know how to handle things he took off. That was why he’d taken tequila shots like a frat boy on spring break — he knew he’d run from Tasha and he wanted to drown his shame.

Bright sunlight bombarded his senses when he opened the door to the bedroom. Cassandra’s apartment could only be described as bright. Everything was white: the walls, the carpet, her furniture. The monochrome theme was broken up by bright splashes of red, orange, green, or yellow in the form of pillows, throw rugs, or paintings. Floor to ceiling windows let sunlight in and the effect on his senses was overwhelming.

He squinted as he jogged down the stairs into the kitchen. Cassandra sat at the bar with a white coffee mug in her hand. She was another blotch of color in her all white paradise in a hot pink camisole and shorts pajama set. She had on full make up, which meant she’d already showered but planned to lounge around all day before her party that evening. Despite his annoyance with the coffee, he smiled inwardly. Cassandra couldn’t even be comfortable in her own apartment without looking as if she’d stepped out of a makeup studio.

Her perfectly arched eyebrows rose when he entered the kitchen. “Well, I see you finally decided to climb out of bed.”

Jared opened the fridge and pulled out a glass pitcher of orange juice. “Eight in the morning isn’t late.”

“Maybe for some, but it is for you. You’ve gotten up at four every morning since you’ve been here to go jogging before working out. I thought you were training for something, or trying to kill yourself.”

He poured juice into a glass. “I work out every morning.”

“But you also work out for a few hours in the afternoon.”

He shrugged. “I’m a trainer.”

She cupped the mug in her hand and placed her elbows on the bar. “But you’re not training anyone.”

He downed the juice. “I’m back in L.A. If I want clients out here then I need to make sure my body is tight.”

The corner of her mouth lifted in a smile. “Your body looks pretty tight to me.”

She winked and he laughed. “I think the tequila is still in your system.” He walked over to sit across from her at the bar.

She laughed. “It’s in everybody’s system. Ramon knows how to throw a party.”

Jared groaned. “Please tell me tonight won’t be as wild as last night.”

She bit the tip of her tongue and grinned. “Tonight’s going to be wilder than last night. It’s my birthday. We have to celebrate it in style.”

Jared dropped his head to the bar. “I’m too old for this.”

Cassandra sucked her teeth. Her hand, still warm from holding the coffee mug, rubbed the back of his head. “Poor baby, you stayed in the country too long. Now you can’t hang with us city folks.”

Jared lifted his head and glared. “You’re getting too old for this too, Cassandra.”

She tossed her head. “You must be crazy, I’m twenty-four.”

Jared laughed. “Okay, keep telling yourself that.” He stood. “I’m going to jog off some of this alcohol.” He went back over to the fridge and pulled out a Gatorade and one of his protein bars.

She took a sip of her coffee. “Come on, lova, take today off. Whip up one of your hangover remedies and lounge on the couch with me.”

“If I don’t run this morning I’ll be jumpy all day. I have a lot of built up energy I need to get out.”

Her eyes narrowed. “Are you running to get in shape, or are you running from something?”

“That’s foolishness.” He ripped open the protein bar and took a bite.

“When are you going to tell me about the woman that drove you back here? Don’t look so surprised — you ran to South Carolina when I hinted at us getting back together, it only makes sense that a woman made you run back to California.” She drank the last of her coffee, stood, and walked over to put the mug in the sink. When she turned to face him her arms were crossed. “What happened?”

Jared shook his head. “Nothing happened.”

“Jared, don’t play me for a fool. What’s going on? I know you promised to come out for my birthday, but showing up three weeks early for it and having no solid plans for when you’ll return is a bit much.”

He grinned. “What, a guy can’t spend some time with his homegirl?”

She raised an eyebrow. “Jared.”

He sighed. He might as well tell her, although he hated to hear the different ways she would curse him out for running. He’d been cursing himself out since walking out of Tasha’s door. He opened his mouth when his cell phone rang.

Cassandra sighed and pointed at him. “I’m not forgetting this,” she said as she walked out of the kitchen.

Jared picked up his phone from the counter and checked the caller ID. It was Devin. “How is she?”

“She looked the same, but you’d know that if you were here.” Disappointment colored Devin’s tone. Devin was updating him as best he could, but he only saw her during his Wednesday night games.

Guilt pressed down on Jared. “I know. Look, I’m coming back next week.”

“When did you decide that?”

Jared could hear the surprise in Devin’s voice. Hell, he’d surprised himself. He couldn’t keep this up much longer. Cassandra was right, he was working out like a crazy person. But it wasn’t for clients, it was to pound out his guilt for leaving Tasha. It was time to go home and face this situation.

“I’ve been out here busting my ass working out or drinking trying to forget this situation with Tasha and I’m tired of doing it. It’s time to come home and work things out.”

“Can you really handle knowing what she did to you?”

Jared pinched the bridge of his nose. “I don’t know if I believe she really did it. I mean, I saw her in my bag that night, but Tasha wouldn’t poke holes in my condoms.”

“Are you sure?”

Jared remembered the devastation in her eyes when he said he couldn’t trust her. “I’m sure. She’s having my child. We can work something out.”

He heard Devin sigh on his end. “Well, it may be harder than you think.”

Jared gripped the phone. “What do you mean?”

“Kevis is still in the picture. He’s coming to games early and helping her get the equipment set up. It’s obvious he’s still feeling her. If you don’t want someone else calling your kid Daddy, you better get back here quick.”

Crazy thoughts invaded his mind: Tasha sleeping with Kevis, passing her pregnancy off on him, Kevis doing the honorable thing and marrying her. Him watching another man live a life with the woman and child he’d left behind because like a fool he’d run to L.A. He didn’t need to wait to get back to Columbia, he needed to go home today. “That baby’s not calling anyone Daddy but me. Thanks for looking out, man.”

“No problem. I’ll see you soon.”

“All right, bye.”

He ended the call and stared at the phone. “Cassandra!” he yelled. He spun around and was startled to see her ducking behind the door. “I saw you.”

She came around the corner and eyed him guiltily. He wasn’t upset about her eavesdropping — she was his friend and she wanted to know why he’d run. But, she had the same deer in the headlights look Monica wore. Right after he’d caught her ruffling through his nightstand for a condom and then stepped on a pin.

“Monica.”

Cassandra scowled. “I’m Cassandra.”

He shook his head. “No, Monica did it. She was in my nightstand. She poked the holes in my condoms.” He balled his hands into fists. “That bitch. It was right in front of me and I accused Tasha.”

It came to him as simply as if he’d always known. The reason he’d thrown Monica out in the first place was because of her snooping in his nightstand. The same nightstand where he kept his condoms. It was so obvious, but he’d only considered Monica a nuisance after he’d fallen for Tasha. Her constant popping up now made sense. She’d been trying to trick him. Shame and guilt brewed nastily in his gut. He’d blamed Tasha when the answer had been right in front of his face.

Cassandra took a tentative step toward him. “What’s going on? Is Monica the pregnant one?”

“No, Tasha’s pregnant. Monica poked the holes.”

“You were sleeping with both of them?”

“No, Monica did it before I started with Tasha. Tasha didn’t do it.”

Cassandra gave a weak smile. “But she’s still pregnant.”

“I don’t care. I love her,” he said. Cassandra’s eyes grew wide as saucers. He waited for the regret to hit him for saying it out loud. But it didn’t come. It was liberating to say it and not be afraid to admit it. He’d been afraid to accept how much he trusted her. Afraid to admit he believed her when she said she hadn’t tricked him based on her word alone. Now that he realized the truth had been staring him in the face the entire time he felt like a royal idiot.

He grabbed Cassandra by the arms. “How do I fix this?”

“Fix what? I don’t know. I’m still trying to comprehend you saying you love her,” Cassandra said.

“I accused her of tricking me. I left her even after she begged me to stay. You’re a woman — how do I fix it?”

Cassandra shrugged. “I really don’t know, Jared. Like they say, when a woman’s fed up there’s nothing you can do about it.”

He let her go and ran his hands over his face. “I f*cked up. I left her. She won’t forgive me.” His head snapped up and he looked at Cassandra. “I’m not good at this stuff. I don’t know how to tell her I messed up and I’m sorry.”

Cassandra leaned against the counter. “You can’t tell her, you’ll have to show her.”

Jared rubbed the back of his neck. “For how long?”

“As long as it takes.”

He tried to imagine how long it would take for Tasha to forgive him. He couldn’t blame her if she never forgave him. For him to accuse her of deceiving him after refusing to admit his feelings for her in front of his family was bad enough, but the fact that he’d walked away after she’d begged him not to made his task seem as possible as moonwalking to Mars.

He turned his back to Cassandra and dialed Tasha’s number. It went straight to voice mail and he wanted to throw the phone against the wall. He was going back today and would stick so close to her during this pregnancy people would think they were joined at the hip. He’d show her every day until this baby came and beyond that, he loved her until she finally realized they belonged together.

He turned back to Cassandra. She held up her hand. “I know, you’re going back tonight.”

He nodded. “I have to. I need to check on her and my baby.”

Cassandra took a deep breath. “I can’t believe this. You’ll probably marry her too?” When he cringed, she rolled her eyes. “I’ll look for flights and pack my bags.”

He stopped her as she tried to walk past him. “Wait a second. You’re skipping your birthday celebration?”

She raised an eyebrow. “I wouldn’t miss seeing you crawl after a woman for anything. Just remember that you owe me a huge party next year.”

He pulled her into a bear hug. “I don’t deserve you.”

“No, you don’t,” she said with a smile before pulling away and going upstairs.