Only Love (The Atonement Series)

CHAPTER Fourteen

Colin





Colin was definitely not okay. In fact he was seething with anger as he watched his former fiancée walk off after she’d practically forced the relationship she had with Drake down his throat.

He knew what he had told her was damaging and she would most definitely ask her lover about it but it wasn’t enough. He honestly thought it would shock her into submission but then again, after what he and Liam had put her through, could she be surprised about anything at all anymore?

Colin hated to admit it but sometimes he felt he’d made the biggest mistake of his life by telling her the truth and what was so awful about the whole situation was his brother had begged him not to do it.

Of course Liam had shared the whole issue with Caitlyn and their reactions were night and day. Yes, she’d been beyond upset and she’d thrown dishes at Liam and cried until there were no more tears but at the end of the day, she had no wish for her fiancé to serve any time in prison for a crime that was behind them. Their father was gone and she was more than ready to move on and make a life with his brother.

Deirdre had acted so understanding at first but then had a major breakdown, left the State and now wanted nothing to do with him regardless what he tried to do to make it up to her. He had to throw in the towel and admit he was fighting a losing battle. It most definitely seemed like he’d lost the one woman he loved forever.

Colin walked back inside his house and slammed the doors behind him before he walked to his Bose stereo and turned on some classic Deftones. “Digital Bath” started as he strolled to the bar and made himself a Macallan Speymalt 1980 whiskey and drank down the double shot in a swallow before pouring another.

Cassie emerged from the kitchen and walked over to the bar. She looked so beautiful in the simple pale blue wrap dress she wore but she wasn’t Deirdre. Their sex life had improved somewhat but it couldn’t be healthy he had to think of his ex-fiancée to have an orgasm with her. He didn’t need to consult his father on this issue; it wasn’t supposed to happen, period.

“Is everything okay?” she inquired with trepidation in her voice. “I heard what she said about me and I’m not exactly sure what I am supposed to make of that. I mean, the woman has fired me and I needed that job. I am not working because it’s something to do—I depended on the money to pay for my rent, car payment, insurance, utilities and what not. What the hell am I supposed to do now?”

Colin walked over and took a deep breath before he grabbed her gently by her upper arms and squeezed ever so slightly. “Listen, Deirdre was just upset. I will talk to her and get your old job back. She’s just being a bitch because she can and it didn’t exactly thrill her when you opened the front door to my house. However, I will give you some money to tide you over until all of the acrimony between her and I end in a peaceful resolution. Is five thousand okay?”

He could physically see the wheels of greed turn in her mind as Cassie’s brown eyes widened with awe and glee. She licked her lips in what she thought was a seductive manner and replied, “That should be fine. It’s more than I make in a couple of months’ worth of work!”

“As I said, I will take care of you. And to lessen the burdens on you, you’re free to move in here until we can find you a decent apartment around the area.”

She stepped back and crossed her arms against her breasts. “Are you crazy? Do you know how much the average one bedroom is in a decent part of town? I am not rich like the crowd you grew up around and there is no way I could afford to pay the rent.”

Colin did his best not to roll his eyes before he forced a tight smile to his lips. “I will take care of it. Call it a gift from your significant other.”

Cassie turned the charm on quickly and sidled up to him before she wrapped her slender arms around his neck. “You are just too sweet to me. How can I ever repay your generosity? No boyfriend I have ever had has ever been so kind or pleasant to me.”

“Don’t mention it. I wouldn’t do it if I didn’t genuinely want you to be happy,” he replied quietly.

“Then in that case, can I show my appreciation by taking you to bed? You can make love to me all night long,” she cooed in his ear playfully before she bit the lobe.

“I can’t think of a better way to spend the evening.”

The ironic part about his comment was he genuinely meant it. If he was having sex with Cassie then he wouldn’t think about Deirdre’s deception and for a small moment in time, he would be at peace with himself and what he had allowed to happen in their relationship.





Although their lovemaking should have lasted for a while, two hours later, Colin was dressed in a pair of ripped black jeans and a faded Rolling Stones black tee shirt. Cassie still laid in his bed, asleep, while he drank another double shot of Macallan and reached for his Samsung to call his brother.

Liam answered shortly after the second ring. “What’s up?” he inquired without the usual preliminaries.

“Deirdre has been here to see me and she basically told me in strong words she has no use for me and we will never be a couple again,” Colin replied before he swigged from his whiskey. “I’m so broken up about the whole situation, I have no idea what to do. I really did think we would have another chance. I can’t believe she would treat me this way over some man she barely knows.”

“Well, she didn’t know you either but it didn’t stop her from hopping into bed with you shortly after you two met one another.”

“That’s beside the point. Drake is nothing but bad news. He has connections to a goddamn mafia family for God’s sake and she sees nothing wrong with that. He took her to Mexico a month ago to pick up drugs and disguised it as a romantic getaway for the day. I told her about it and she shrugged off the whole episode because she doesn’t want me and now I am stuck in a situation that angers me. It wasn’t supposed to be this way!”

Liam laughed on the other end. “It never is but what can you do? Perhaps you need to give her some distance so she can see the situation properly. It can’t be easy with you crowding her all the time.”

“I don’t crowd her. I haven’t bothered to stop by her place and the only time we see each other is at work. Unfortunately, she had to choose today of all days to come by my house and Cassie was here. I think it gave her some sort of sick fascination to tell me we’re through. She told me to have a nice life with my current squeeze in no uncertain terms,” Colin explained passionately. “How come she gets to get laid but the moment I do it, I am evil personified and don’t deserve a second chance? It’s pure lunacy.”

“Well, all’s not set in stone yet. According to Drew, they haven’t consummated their relationship. Drake is very…serious about her and wants it to be special. In this case, you are kind of screwed because she has only been dating someone while you are in a full fledged relationship with another woman. What do you expect her to do? And the anger was good. It means she still cares about you and perhaps she was a bit dismayed you could just forget about everything you two had together and carry on with another.”

“I am not carrying on with another woman, Liam—I am merely getting my rocks off. Cassie means nothing to me,” Colin growled through the phone.

“Well then maybe you shouldn’t have been foolish enough to let your ex catch her at your house. I’m not saying it can’t work out but you have some major groveling to do if you want to get Deirdre back. Face it, baby bro, she is a major loose end. This involves more than you and your love. You have to make everything okay because if you don’t then we can’t just have her running around, knowing what she knows.”

Colin paused with the glass mere inches from his mouth. “What exactly are you trying to say? If we don’t end up together then she has to die too? I won’t be involved in anything like that, Liam. Her father’s death already eats me alive. I can’t cause that kind of damage to anyone else let alone the woman I love.”

“I didn’t say anything about murder or killing anyone for Christ’s sake. Just remember you jumped to that conclusion. She’s involved with dangerous people so if I wanted something to happen to her, I would let them do it and our hands would be clean—”

“Seriously, you could do that and not feel a shred of guilt? You are engaged to her sister for f*ck’s sake. The child she carried and lost was yours, not mine! I never thought the day would come you could be so cold and heartless. How can you sleep at night?”

“I will have you know I sleep just fine because in no way was I suggesting the woman you are in love with perish. You jumped to that conclusion and it is entirely unnecessary for that to happen.” Liam paused and breathed into the phone. “I have Caitlyn and she has already warned her sister in no uncertain terms that if she says anything to anyone in the law enforcement department then they will no longer have a relationship. Believe me, Deirdre isn’t willing to risk the only family she has left.”

Colin sighed out loud. “Thank God for small favors. I am asking you now—as my older and wiser brother—what can I do to convince Deirdre I still want her and would like to gain her trust again? I love her with all my heart and she constantly rejects me. I can only deal with so much and I feel as if…I’m on the edge of a cliff. I need to get Drake out of the way, damn it, and I have no idea how to accomplish that goal. I am completely at a loss here and I don’t like where my emotions are taking me.”

Liam laughed out loud. “You always were the sensitive one. I think you inherited all your feelings from our mother and nothing from our father. Alas, I will put you out of your misery once and for all. If you really want Deirdre and are willing to do what ever it takes to get her then use Drake’s weaknesses against him. She will see in no time he is nothing but trouble and will bring her little besides heartache and pain.”

Colin paced the sitting room and swallowed the rest of his whiskey. “Okay, I’m waiting. How can I possibly convince her of that?”

“Go to the source,” Liam began in a quiet voice. “Drake’s greatest love in La Jolla was Mikayla Shevchenko. Imagine how much dirt she has on him. Her family must be holding something over his head, after all, why was he making a drug run for them in Mexico? You want dirt on this perfect, infallible, sexy guy Deirdre has fallen head over heels with then simply go where you must. It might mean beginning a love affair with her so be ready to get rid of this chick you’re shacked up with because I have a feeling she is the type who doesn’t like to share.”

It was Colin’s turn to laugh as he poured himself another whiskey. “That, my dear brother, won’t be hard at all. Cassie is already a distant memory…pity she doesn’t know it yet.”

They ended their call and before Colin returned to bed, he called Rouge and asked to speak to Ms. Shevchenko.

“I’m afraid she is busy at the moment, sir,” the hostess said with professional courtesy.

“Believe me, she’ll want to take this call.”

“Hold please.”

Colin was put on hold and had to listen to an awful muzak edition of The Rolling Stones “Heart of Stone” before a California accented voice came on the line. It was silky, purring and something told him she was as great in bed as her voice suggested.

“Mikayla Shevchenko?”

“Yes? Who is this?” the young woman demanded on the other end of the line.

“My name is Colin van der Meer and I have just realized that we should meet as soon as possible.”

She was silent for a second before she continued, “Why is that?”

“You want Drake back, don’t you?”

“Now why would I tell a stranger any of my personal business, Mr. van der Meer?”

“Because…I want Deirdre back and together, I think we have a lot to discuss.”

Colin heard her as her talons hit the counter. “You’re right. We should meet very soon.”

He leaned on the counter in his kitchen. “Name the time and the place.”