What If

Arrow was at our table now. I knew because I could feel him. When I looked out of the corner of my eye, I could see his jeans, not to mention the heavy, hot breaths coming loudly from his mouth.

Arrow’s hand wrapped around the wrist of the hand that was clasped in Killian’s. “Having a reunion     are we?” Arrow’s voice sounded like thunder. He pulled my hand out of Killian’s and roughly tossed Killian’s to the side.

“Funny, I don’t remember inviting you,” I bit out, finally looking up and meeting his angry glare with one of my own.

His breath hissed out between his teeth. “Up,” he commanded.

“No, I’m having breakfast with Killian.” I jerked my arm out of his grasp.

His deathly stare moved across the table, but Killian didn’t cower away. Instead, he looked almost giddy. Strange.

“And you.” Arrow leaned forward, his face impossibly close to Killian’s. “Outside, now.”

Now, Killian did laugh. “What? Are we going to fight? What are we going to fight over? Briar? Aren’t you married?” Killian taunted. My jaw dropped as I looked back and forth between the two of them, completely confused by what Killian said. Back at his place he was telling me to not give up on Arrow, but now he was goading him? It didn’t make any sense.

Arrow’s hands gripped the edge of table, his face turning a shade of red that only happened when he was ready for a fight. “I’ve been itching to break that jaw of yours since I was eighteen years old. This seems like a fine of a time as any.” Arrow challenged him.

I didn’t know how I could ease the air between the two of them and keep Arrow from killing Killian. I quickly said, “Arrow, I’ll leave with you right now if you swear to not touch Killian, but if you fight him, I promise, I will never forgive you.”

Arrow’s eyes dodged back and forth between Killian and me, trying to make up his mind on what he should do. “Fine,” he grumbled. “I’m not through with you.” He pointed at Killian as he made the vow that they were going to have words.

“I mean it, Arrow. If you ever lay hands on him, I will never speak to you again,” I stated.

His glower didn’t make me back down. I stood from my seat and laid down forty dollars. “Killian, we’ll do breakfast another time. This one is still on me.”

“The hell you will,” Arrow said behind me.

I whipped around and shoved him with both of my hands. “None of your damn business,” I hissed. Turning back to Killian, I tried to smile. “I’m really sorry about everything.”

Killian hastily pulled me in for a hug. His lips were at my ear. “Don’t give up, Briar.”

Stunned, I was about to move away when instead I was dragged away by thick, callused hands. “We’re leaving.” Arrow pulled me away. I looked over my shoulder at Killian and saw a thin smile mixed with a glimmering sadness in his eyes, as well as a sparkle of hope.

The smell of grease from the restaurant still lingered in the air of the parking lot. Once we were outside and near his truck, Arrow let go of my arm and turned around to face me.

“I would ask you what you were doing at Killian’s last night, but if you told me I would have to go back in that restaurant and kick his ass.” His eyes were smoldering, his arms shaking slightly.

“How did you know I was here? Or where I was last night?” I looked at him quizzically while folding my arms underneath my breasts.

“What does that matter?” He voice went an octave lower. “What I want to know, Briar, is were you thinking of me when you slept with him last night?” Through his obvious anger, I saw the pain.

The fact that I went to Killian’s with that exact intention embarrassed me. My cheeks became a rosy shade of pink and guilt sat heavily on my chest as if I had actually cheated on Arrow. But how could I cheat on someone who was married to someone else?

I couldn’t believe I allowed myself to feel shame towards Arrow when the only person I owed an apology to still sat in the restaurant by himself.

He rubbed his forehead and then yanked at his hair. He had let it grow a bit longer in the past few months, reminding me of the young teenager he used to be. “Shit, you really did sleep with him didn’t you?” His eyes begged me to tell him I didn’t, but I could tell he truly believed I did.

I shook my head. “No, Arrow, I didn’t,” I admitted.

“Are you lying to me?” He stepped forward.

“No, I didn’t sleep with him,” I said confidently. “Not that it should matter what I do. You’re married. How do you keep forgetting that?”

Arrow’s hands flew up to my face, cupping each side, like he always did. “Believe me, Briar. I haven’t forgotten that. Every day I wake up and remember that me being married is the thing keeping you away from me. Every single day I try to talk Lacey into signing those divorce papers.” His face softened. “Everyday without you feels like you’re slipping through my fingers.”

I ignored his words, grabbed his wrists, and pulled his hands away from my face. “How did you know I was here and where I was last night?” I asked instead.

“Darcy,” he said in a short, clipped tone. “Have I already lost you?” he said just above a whisper.

How did Darcy know I was with Killian and why would she tell Arrow? I wanted to find out the answers, but most importantly, I had to figure out how to answer his question. And I wasn’t sure what to say.

I glanced back and forth between his eyes, my mouth parted, my nerves shot.

“I don’t know.” I took a step backward. I looked around the parking lot for my car and quickly remembered that Killian drove us here. My car still sat in the parking lot of Killian’s complex. I was stranded.

“You don’t know or you don’t want to tell me?” Arrow stepped up, taking my hand in his. I looked down at his fingers cupping mine.

Frustrated, I sighed loudly, shaking my head back and forth. “This is so messed up,” I said under my breath. “Arrow, let me ask you this…”

“Ask me whatever you want.”

“Where’s Lacey staying?”

His face paled, telling me what I was afraid of. I’d been wondering if they were staying in his apartment or if Arrow had put his foot down and made her find another place. If he really wanted to be done with her, if he was so sure that he was ready for a divorce, then why were they living together? I cringed noticeably.

“That’s what I thought,” I declared, snatching my hand out of his.

“Hold on, Briar. There’s more to it than that, okay? Let me explain.” He reached for me again, but I glared at him, letting him know that his touch was not welcome.

“Let me get this straight, Arrow… You came here, guns blazing, ready for a fight because I might have slept with Killian? Yet, you’re living with your wife, and I’m just supposed to accept that? I’m supposed to believe you aren’t sleeping with Lacey?” The hypocrisy of it all was absurd. “You’re kidding me right?” I said vehemently.

My anger bubbled over. I was no longer capable of holding it back, and the same fury sizzled in Arrow’s stance and eyes.

“You’re supposed to trust me. You’re supposed to ask me questions and actually give me a chance to answer them because I have the reasons. But maybe you don’t want to hear them. Maybe you just want the easy way out, like you always have. Go ahead, Briar. Just run away - it’s what you’re good at.” His sneer was blistering, his words a personal strike that I felt exactly the way he intended for me to feel it.