What If

It sucked driving her to her car which was still parked haphazardly at Killian’s house. I took note of the apartment complex and his address. Knowing they hadn’t slept together kept me from knocking his door down and beating his face in, but I was still wary. I can be an idiot at times, but I’m no fool. There was a reason Briar came running to Killian. She trusted him, cared for him, maybe even loved him. And I saw in his eyes that he was still in love with Briar. I believed her when she said they didn’t have sex the night before, but did she kiss him? Did she let him touch her? The thoughts were unwelcomed, but they were there. I needed to know where Killian lived because if she ran from me again, I needed to know where she went.

I didn’t let her exit my truck until she gave me her new number. I hated that she went through so much to stay away from me.

“Don’t go changing your number on me again, Briar,” I directed. I called her number from my phone making sure it rang.

“Fine,” she muttered and saved my number into her cell. She nibbled nervously at her lower lip while fidgeting with her phone.

“What’s going on in that head of yours?” I tapped the underside of her chin.

She frowned and looked up at me. “Don’t sleep with her, Arrow.”

Looking back and forth between her eyes; I tugged at a strand of her hair. “I don’t want her. I want you.”

Her face turned crimson, making me smile. Still, even after I had her completely naked in my bed, she flushed from my words.

I leaned in to press my lips to hers, but she held her hands up at my chest. I looked at her quizzically, silently asking her, ‘what was the issue now?’

“Get her to sign those papers. Please,” she pleaded.

“You’re not going to let me kiss you until then?” Was she crazy? I waited almost a decade to finally kiss her, and now after I’ve had the taste of her, now that I knew what I’d been missing out on, she was going to keep that from me?

She smiled sadly. “Sorry.” She leaned forward and pressed her lips to my cheek, her fists tightening in my shirt as she moved over to the other side and kissed there too.

I closed my eyes, smelling her hair and skin that was close to me. I wrapped a hand at the base of her hair, pulling the strands tightly in my fist, causing her neck to bend back. Hoping she wouldn’t stop me, I pressed my lips to her neck, right below her ear. Her nails bit through my shirt as her breath came out in a “whoosh.” I grazed my teeth against that same spot and then flicked my tongue across the goose bumps rising up on her skin. Her sighs and small moans drove me mad, but if it was all she would let me do, then I’d take it.

I moved up to her earlobe, taking it between my teeth, and pulled it into my mouth, flicking my tongue around her small earrings. I stopped before I tried taking it further. I pulled away, pressing a light kiss on her hair right above her ear and smiled down at her.

She was breathless, her pupils dilated, her body needy. But with the self-control that I didn’t possess, she moved to the car door and pushed it open. She paused at the door before closing it.

“You going to answer my calls and texts, babe?”

She shifted back and forth on her feet, the metal of the truck door moving in her hand. “Probably,” she teased flippantly with a grin.

“You know I’ll come looking for you again if you don’t.” The threat was real. I wasn’t afraid to show up at hers or Killian’s place if necessary.

She giggled - an angelic, happy sound that I loved to hear from her. “Yes, you crazy man, I am fully aware you will show up at my place unannounced.”

“As long as you know.” I winked at her. “I’m calling you tonight.”

Her fingers drummed on the door. “Okay,” she said shyly.

“And you’re going to pick up,” I warned.

“Alright, caveman! I get it. I’ll talk to you tonight.” She closed the door and walked quickly to her car. I noticed her dialing someone’s number and her putting the phone to her ear as she got into the car.

I wondered if she was calling Killian or someone else. The jealously grew like a weed inside of me.



“How did you know I stayed at Killian’s and where I was having breakfast with him? And why did you call Arrow and tell him?” I rambled off quickly to Darcy.

“Oh calm down.” She sounded completely relaxed, maybe even enjoying herself. “Your life is so interesting, you know that? There should be a reality show about you called Life of Briar or something. It’d be a hit.” I rolled my eyes.

“Answer me, Darce,” I seethed.

“Fine. You really ought to have a glass of wine or something, honey. But to answer your questions… Killian called me this morning and told me to let Arrow know you stayed the night at his house and all that jazz.” She giggled, but my eyes were bugging out of my head. “That Killian, he’s a good one you know that? He said he needed to see that Arrow still cared about you. And we’d know that by whether Arrow showed up at the restaurant or not.” I was driving and almost ran through a red light from my shock. I hit my brakes, my tires screeching to a stop. Breathing hard, I looked around to make sure I didn’t cause any sort of accident. “So, I’m assuming Arrow showed up?” Darcy asked.

My mouth bobbed up and down, thoroughly left speechless that Killian did that. “Uhm… yeah,” I said slowly. “Killian was acting weird the entire time we were there. I didn’t know what was going on, and then he started goading Arrow when he showed up.” Darcy’s laughter cackled through the phone.

“I can picture the look on Arrow’s face when he saw you with Killian! Especially how I made it sound like you two actually slept together.” Her laughs erupted.

“Darcy, that’s not funny! He was really mad. I mean, Killian could’ve gotten hurt.” I gaped, jaw hanging open.

“Come on, Briar, tell me you see some of the humor in this? Your ex-husband is playing the love match maker with a guy you’ve always been in love with… This is crazy shit.” She snorted.

I did see the ridiculousness of it all, but still, living it was a wholly different thing. When I didn’t say anything, she got quiet.

“What’s going on, Briar? You okay?” Concern was laced in her words.

“Am I doing the wrong thing by talking to Arrow even though he’s married?” I whispered. “What if this baby is his, Darce? What do I do?”

I heard the clicking of her tongue as she considered her words. “Well, I think it’s only a matter of time before Arrow gets Lacey to agree to the divorce. And about the baby… You’re just going to have to see how it works out. You can’t know how you’re going to react to anything until it happens.”

“I guess,” I mumbled and parked my car outside of my apartment. I turned off the key and opened my door, but stayed sitting in my chair.

“We both know that the-you-getting-over-Arrow-thing wasn’t going to happen easily. Right? I want you to be happy, and if Arrow is what it takes, then you’re just going to have to paddle your way through the waves until it calms down and see where you are when everything is said and done.”

“They’re still living together, Darcy.” I cringed at the desperation in my tone.