Hard to Hold On

chapter Twenty-Five



Natalie



I’ve been writing all day and now I’m in need of a break. I just can’t help how I feel right now. It sucks to know maybe Nolan was right. I knew he didn’t want to destroy what was between us but I let one phone call manipulate me into believing that he had cheated on me. That assumption is what got me in this far with Tyler. If it weren’t for his friend answering and saying Nolan was with his ex, I wouldn’t have gone to Tyler’s party and I never would have made out with him. I never would have wanted to move on but I’m so confused about Nolan. I’m partially glad that I’ve stopped wallowing because if he has cheated on me with someone like Sharon, I’m not taking him back. I refuse to be the dumb, helpless girl again. Those days are over.

Grabbing a blanket, I place it over my legs and turn the TV on. The front door swings open about five minutes after and Harper steps in. At first sight of me, she sighs, placing her keys and purse on the coffee table. “You look lost beneath that blanket,” she says as she sits beside me.

“I’m just comfortable.”

“No. What’s wrong? Dawson told me Nolan stayed when he came to pick me up for lunch.”

Sighing, I tuck my legs beneath me and look at her. “I’m so confused, Harp. Tyler came over while Nolan was here—” She gasps but I don’t allow her to speak. “And he brought up the party and how I went upstairs with him while Nolan was right in front of us.”

“What?” Her face creases negatively. “Why would he do that in front of him?”

“I don’t know. It’s like he automatically knew who Nolan was and tried to get rid of him.” I grab her hands and she stares down at them for a moment before looking up at me. “Brittany told me something about Tyler earlier and right after I ran into Nolan’s ex, Sharon. It’s been a weird day for me.”

“What did she say about him? And why the f*ck is his ex in Miami? Doesn’t she stay in California?”

“That’s what I’m trying to figure out! I don’t know why the hell she’s here.” I sigh, pulling my hands away to fold my fingers. “Brittany used to date Tyler but she told me something happened to her while she was with him. She says he can be very sweet but also very untrustworthy.”

Harper’s glassy eyes glisten from the glow of the television screen. “How? Tyler is one of the coolest guys in Miami.”

“I don’t know. I thought that as well and I don’t want to assume anything or go off of someone else’s judgment. He took me out for ice-cream earlier and we talked about what he had said to Nolan. He apologized a million times and I started to feel bad. I didn’t think I’d like him this much, but I do.”

“So you’re just gonna ditch Nolan for Tyler?”

I shake my head. “No—well I don’t know. I’m confused about Nolan. I don’t know why his ex-girlfriend is here. She told me she and Nolan were more than friends in California. They were spending time together. I know it could have happened while we were on our break but it just confuses me that he would actually mess with another girl when he told me he didn’t want to deal with anyone else’s emotions outside of his own. Considering how drunk Nolan was getting over there, she may have been telling the truth. He could have been doing anything over there.”

“Wow. You’ve got a sticky situation.” Her lips press as she stands. “I say sleep on it. Maybe call Nolan and talk to him about it?”

“He’s not answering my calls. I called as soon as Tyler dropped me back off.”

“Oh.” Harper’s lips twist as she takes a step back. “Damn it, Nat. You’ve confused me. You can’t have both. Keep calling Nolan until you can figure out what’s really up. Communication is key, remember? It’s what you always tell me.”

I force a smile because she’s right.

“Get some sleep. It’s late. I know you’re stressed but tomorrow will be a new day. On the bright side, you’ll know who’s really meant for you when all of this dramatic shit is over with.”

She winks and then makes her way to her bedroom with a loud yawn. Her door clicks shut and I stand. I pull my phone out of my back pocket and turn for the balcony. Sliding the door open, the breeze whips against me but it feels nice, considering how flushed and bothered I am.

I call Nolan’s phone but of course he doesn’t answer. It’s starting to make me nervous. I’ve never been this confused before. I know I’ll take Nolan over Tyler any day but if he’s been talking to his ex, I don’t think I can handle it.

I can understand how he feels, though. To know someone else is touching me has to be killing him. To know some other girl might have been touching him is destroying me. I want him for myself but I don’t know if I will be able to trust him if he and Sharon actually had something going on while we were dating.

By this rate I don’t know if our relationship is going to survive.