Hard to Hold On

chapter Twenty-One



Natalie



Sleeping is nearly impossible when I have Nolan who came out of nowhere with alcohol poisoning. It makes me feel terrible knowing the only reason he may have drank so much is because of me and my snobbish attitude towards him earlier. He wanted to forget about me but instead he got sick from it.

I’ve been up all night by his side watching his chest sink and rise. Alcohol poisoning is deadly but after I knew he wasn’t going to throw up anymore, I pulled his messy shirt and jeans off and Dawson helped me get him into my bed. I don’t want him to stop breathing. I may be upset with him but death is something I’d never wish upon him. I care too much—I care a lot. I love Nolan to death which is why I don’t want to leave from his side.

The sun spills through my curtains as I run my fingers through his dark hair. He isn’t as cold as he was a few hours ago. He’s beginning to warm up. He’s also snoring which is a good sign because it means he’s only getting better.

Reaching my arm out, I grab my phone and check the time. It’s eight in the morning and I know I should be getting ready to go and meet Brittany at Starbucks at ten but I don’t want to leave Nolan’s side. She called last night and said she wanted to talk to me about Tyler. I found it odd but I told her I would meet up with her anyway. I wasn’t sure what she had to say about him but I was definitely going to find out.

I don’t know what Nolan will say once he’s awake. I don’t know how he will react once he notices that he’s in my bedroom and not drunk out of his mind anymore. He told me last night he was sorry and he loved me but what was he so sorry about? When I asked him if he’d cheated on me, I really wanted an answer but I knew I wasn’t going to get one because he was fighting his sleep.

Sighing, I pull away from him slowly and climb out of bed. I get the cleaner from beneath the sink and clean off the toilet and the floors and then start the shower. The water feels nice and for some reason I’m satisfied with having Nolan near me. I’m glad he’s in my bed—glad I can step out and look at his face once again.

After I’m out of the shower, I hurry out the bathroom and go for some clothes. My phone buzzes, interrupting my scramble through my drawer and I go for it, assuming it’s Brittany.

Of course I’m wrong.

Tyler: I guess we have something to talk about tonight. Didn’t get my call from you.

I sigh, reading over his text again before calling Brittany. She answers in a chipper tone, the background extremely loud.

“Hi, Brittany. We should meet earlier,” I tell her.

“Oh yes, please,” she says loudly. “I’m at Jordan’s garage and he’s practicing with a few band members. They’re giving me a migraine! I’ll be there in twenty!”

“Okay. I’ll see you in twenty.”

I hang up, hurrying to put some clothes on. After I’m dressed, I look over my shoulder at Nolan who has turned on his side but is still snoring. Hopefully he’s still here when I get back. I don’t want him to leave. It’s time to talk and settle our differences.

****

I nibble at my bottom lip, waiting for Brittany to arrive.

It isn’t until ten minutes after our planned time when I finally spot her walking between the tables to get to me with a wide smile on her lips. I force one back as she removes her purse from her shoulder and places it in her lap.

“Hey girly,” she breathes. “Sorry I’m late. Got caught up with my mom and she wants to go out to eat in a bit so I’m now on a slight time crunch.”

“Hey—yeah, it’s fine.”

“So, what’d you get?” she asks, looking at my cup.

“Oh, an iced latte with extra caramel. It’s pretty good. Would you like one?”

“No thank you,” she says, shaking her head and folding her fingers on top of the table. Her green eyes scan the area quickly before meeting mine again, her chipper mood immediately evaporating. “Okay,” she sighs, her voice shaky. “I just want you to know Tyler Stokes used to be my ex-boyfriend,” she starts. “He’s the one who broke my heart . . . in more ways than one.”

“How? What did he do?” I ask nervously, slightly taken off guard.

“What didn’t he do?” she retorts sarcastically. “Tyler was sweet at first. I really liked him. I was told by one of my friends that he hadn’t dated a girl since tenth grade but then I saw him with another girl at the park. Everyone used to tell me how he enjoyed being single and if he ever asked a girl out, they were lucky because it was rare. I’m going to be honest here. That’s bullshit.”

I swallow as she stares right through me. “So, you guys dated and then he cheated on you? Then what?”

“Not only did he cheat on me, but he had a house party one night last year. The house party happened right before he started ignoring me. He asked me to join him and I did but that night I felt kind of strange. I was head over heels for Tyler but this party happened before I found out he’d cheated on me. I began to get woozy, lightheaded. I don’t remember much but I do remember Tyler taking me upstairs and after that, everything went blank. The next morning I woke up sore everywhere and even had a broken pinky.” She lifts her pinky up and I gasp, noticing that it’s slightly crooked.

“What?” I hiss, lowering my head. “You think Tyler did that to you?”

“I don’t know,” she sighs. “I called him the next day, he didn’t answer. I called that whole next week, still no answer. It wasn’t until two weeks after when he finally called me and said he went out of town for a family trip and that he didn’t have his phone with him. I used to fall for the dumb lies. I believed everything he told me. I was so gullible that I’m embarrassed by it.

“But then I met Jordan. Jordan treats me like a queen—way better than Tyler ever treated me. I began to drift from Tyler and he noticed. He showed up at my doorstep one day and begged for me to take him back. I kept asking him what happened to me at the party but he wouldn’t say much other than, “I don’t know. You probably partied too hard, Britt.” Something made me think he may have had something to do with what happened to me so after that night I left him alone for good. It was hard tearing myself away from him because I liked him a lot. He was the first guy I’d met when I first moved here. I never wanted to figure it out because I was afraid of the truth—shit, I still am. I didn’t want Tyler to be some kind of bad guy.”

“Oh my God,” I whisper, staring at her in complete disbelief. She presses her lips but my gaze finally drops down to my latte. “Why didn’t you ever get a real answer from him, Brittany?”

She shrugs. “I kind of gave up on it. I tried to stop caring about it but every time I see him, I always relive what we went through and it hurts to think about. I don’t like hurting.”

“Well I can’t let him come to my house after hearing this from you.”

“I’m just saying,” she whispers. “Tyler—I just don’t want you to get hurt by someone like him. He’s a sweet guy but he’s not completely trust worthy. I’m not sure if something happened between you and Nolan but I hope it works out because you deserve better than Tyler. I’m sorry I couldn’t have warned you sooner and I hate that I will never know what happened to me while he was around. I guess it’s something I have to let go of. You’re the first person I’ve told this to.”

Her head lowers shamefully but I shake my head, gripping her hand that’s on the table. “It’s okay, Brittany. Don’t blame yourself for the way he is.”

She nods and checks her watch quickly, grabs her purse, and then stands. “Well I have to get going. Jordan and I are going out for brunch with my parents . . . but I’m serious, Natalie. Be careful. Call me tonight and let me know how it goes.”

“I will,” I sigh as she pushes her chair beneath the table.

With a quick nod, she spins around and rushes out of the coffee shop. I sigh heavily, leaning against my seat and staring out of the window. The pedestrians pass by and with each step they take, the speed of my heart picks up. I’m so nervous. I really want to just move back to South Carolina with my parents if it means I will be safe. This isn’t worth it. I should have known Tyler wasn’t the complete sweetheart I thought he was. I should have ignored him like I had the first few times I had run into him.

“Are you Natalie?” an airy voice asks from beside me, interrupting my thoughts.

My head whips and I look up, taking in the blonde with the perky breasts, clear green eyes, and the plump lips. Her purple dress is tight and revealing a little too much skin and on her feet are the highest black heels I’ve ever seen in my life. Grabbing the chair, she sits down across from me but I scowl at her as she primps herself, fluffs her hair, and then folds her fingers in her lap all while looking at me. “By your silence, I assume I’m correct,” she says with too much confidence.

My eyebrows knit. “Um . . . I’m sorry. Who the hell are you?”

Smiling, she tilts her head, her eyes narrowing at me. “I’m Sharon, Nolan’s ex. I thought it’d be nice to introduce myself to the girl he obviously can’t get enough of.” She looks me over and I grimace as she studies my faded jeans and blue V-neck T-shirt. “I honestly don’t see what he’s so wound up about.”