All I could do was nod, trying to ignore the fact that even being here overnight felt like too long. My heart was calling me to be somewhere else…with someone else…but I had to keep things in perspective.
“You know you have to cut off communication with her, right? That’s the only way this’ll –“
“I already know,” I interrupted, not wanting to discuss that part.
It was in those moments while Kira sat pondering, maybe coming up with a list of rules and restrictions to put on me, I thought back to the emptiness that came along with the years of radio silence between me and Sam. The mere memory of that feeling almost made me tell Kira that I’d changed my mind.
That’s what I’d be facing again.
Starting now…..
Chapter Twenty
AJ
To say that I was tense was the understatement of the year. Starting my morning with a heavy dose of drama and no more than a few hours of sleep guaranteed that I’d have a crappy day. The hours-long meeting I’d just sat through was all a blur because I’d spent most of that time thinking about Sam. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw her face and I was slowly becoming less and less content with the agreement I’d made with Kira. I mean, yeah, she had every right to demand that I cut Sam off – being honest, that’s what I would’ve done too if I was in her position – but I just wasn’t sure I was capable of keeping my word. Hell, not only would not calling Sam be a task, I was already trying to make up excuses for going to see her one last time before Kira came to stay with me permanently.
And what was I supposed to do about Saturday? Sam was expecting me to come by so we could talk. So, not only was I not gonna show, but I couldn’t call and tell her not to expect me either? I wasn’t going to do that to her. I’d have to at least text her to say that I was staying longer than I originally intended. The next thought that immediately entered my mind, though, was what Sam would know that me staying the whole weekend had nothing to do with work, leaving Kira as the only possible reason I’d be in D.C.
Adding days to my visit felt forced, but wasn’t I supposed to be thinking of it as more of a privilege? After all, Kira had granted me a second chance to fix things, although it came with conditions. Nonetheless, I was being given a do-over, an opportunity to clean my slate and retrace my steps back to the road leading up to me and Kira’s eventual marriage.
Marriage….it sounded so final.
Tapping my pen on the table aimlessly, I was barely even aware of the fact that the boardroom had almost completely cleared out, leaving me to sit there in the large room alone. Well…almost alone. From the corner of my eye, I saw my father approaching and I let out a sigh. The last thing I needed was him on my case on top of everything else.
“You look upset. Is everything alright?”
I kept my eyes trained on the pen bouncing off the smooth wood surface. “I’m fine,” was all I said back. We’d never been the type of father and son who discussed relationships and the like, so I figured why start now. In fact, confiding in him my feelings for Sam back in high school was exactly what started him and me down our current path of hatred and resentment in the first place.
He ignored the cold shoulder that I hit him with and bravely took the seat beside me, clearly immune to my indifference after all these years.
“Trouble at the new office?” he asked.
I shook my head, but didn’t elaborate.
He nodded a few times and then fell silent for a long while before blurting, “Problems on the home-front?”
I stopped tapping my pen and fought to quench the spike of irritation that felt like the straw that’d break the camels’ back after the morning I’d had. Instead, I cleared my throat and ignored the blatant attempt to pry into my personal life.
“I’m sure the long-distance situation is difficult” he added. “But –“