“Just drop it, please,” I said harshly.
Immediately, my father fell still and silent. The clock across the room ticked louder and louder as the seconds wore on. From the corner of my eye, I watched him, and wanted to shoot myself for actually feeling pity for the guy. Maybe I shouldn’t have shut him down like that…
“Listen, I get that you’ve been trying to be…whoever or whatever you’ve been trying to be lately, but…I just don’t feel like discussing my relationship right now.” To me, confirming that my issue was in fact related to something Kira and I were dealing with was a big step. Still, I couldn’t justify telling him much more than that.
“You don’t want to discuss it, or you don’t want to discuss it with me?” he asked under his breath.
I shot him a look. “Okay, yeah. I don’t feel like discussing my relationship with you,” I amended since he already knew the truth anyway.
I could feel my frustration rising out of control and was just getting ready to excuse myself when he took a deep breath beside me.
“Well…since you prefer to keep me at arm’s length,” he continued in a matter-of-fact tone, “…I suppose I’ll settle for communicating like we’re nothing more than colleagues since you’re more comfortable with that. How’re things at the new facility? Everything shaping up well for you? Any personnel issues to speak of?” he rambled off.
I rolled my eyes. “Work’s fine.”
Silence filled the room again and he couldn’t help himself, almost immediately switching back to prying.
“Is it money?” he pushed, still not getting the fact that I didn’t want him in my business. “Because if that’s it, I’d like to help.”
My frustration grew. “Why are you so interested in my life all of a sudden?”
He looked at me and I was sure I detected a slight measure of disbelief at my accusation. “I’ve always been interested in your life.”
“Yeah…okay,” I scoffed. “Maybe when it comes to work and how much money I bring into this company, but not about anything else.”
He was quiet and I hoped that he’d stay that way, because I really wasn’t in the mood. When he sighed, I braced myself.
“How long are you going to push me away? What do I need to do to fix this?” he asked, catching me off guard. It wasn’t like him to make himself vulnerable to listen to peoples’ criticisms – mostly because he rarely cared what anyone thought of him anyway. Normally, I’d have a response ready, a list of all the things he’d done wrong over the years, but given my present circumstance and the problems I’d created, I was in no place to judge. When I didn’t speak, my father asked another question.
”Is it presumptuous of me to ask you for another chance?”
I rested my head against the seat and released a breath. “Another chance to do what?”
To prove what a dick you can be?
“To prove that I can be a good father! A good man!” he professed loudly. There was an air of sincerity in his tone, but I was so used to seeing him scheme and manipulate that I wasn’t moved. When I didn’t respond, he shook his head at my stubbornness, which I happened to inherit from him. “I’m trying to talk to you man to man, but I see that’s not possible. So…” he concluded, standing from his seat.
“Why now? Why do you all of a sudden want to be better? Being the bad guy never bothered you before.”
My statement gave my father pause and he settled back into his seat. Instead of just firing off a cookie cutter response, he gave my question some real thought. That caught me off guard. “Because…” he shrugged, still weighing his words. “… it may’ve taken me longer than it should have to realize what I lost, but my eyes are open now.”
I sighed and folded my arms over my chest. Thinking I already knew the answer he’d give, I asked yet another question. “And what exactly have you lost? Your company?” I scoffed.