Cutting my day shorter than planned, I left work in my father’s car, headed back to the house to take advantage of the peace and quiet there. Kira was still at work and I couldn’t think of a better time to be alone with my thoughts. I lay there on the bed, thinking about everything and nothing all at the same time. My mind and heart had two totally different ideas about how all of this was supposed to play out and I couldn’t make heads or tails of any of it.
I could practically smell the light scent of Sam’s skin that radiates from her whether she’s wearing perfume or not. I closed my eyes and imagined that she was lying there beside me, and we were back in that bubble that only had room for her and me. To say that I missed her wouldn’t have sufficiently described the sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. It was as if she was literally a part of me, and to think of not having her again…
“Stop,” I said aloud to myself, sitting up on the edge of the bed to reach for my phone. I couldn’t keep doing the back and forth. One minute I was prepared to do the noble thing and stay with Kira, then the next, I was ready to throw caution to the wind and fall into the abyss with the only woman I’d ever risk it all for. It was exhausting. In an effort to thrust myself over the thin line that separated my wants from what seemed to be the morally sound option, I decided to move forward with changing my flight, making plans to stay put in D.C. this weekend like Kira and I had already discussed.
The number to the airport was already programmed into my phone; all I needed was a pen and paper to write down the information once the arrangements had been made. Sliding the drawer to my nightstand open, the automated system picked up and prompted me to select an option…but I didn’t even hear what was said. My attention was locked in on the folded piece of paper inside the drawer with my name neatly printed on it. Confusion and curiosity caused me to temporarily put the phone call on the back burner. When I hung up and set my cell aside, I stared at the handwriting. It wasn’t Kira’s, but I couldn’t understand who else could’ve put it there – it wasn’t like we had random people touring our house and chilling in our bedroom.
I unfolded the sheet and let my eyes drift down to the bottom of the page to see if there was a name signed there before reading…and there was.
Reina.
A sharp breath left my lungs just thinking her name to myself. This one person had been at the root of so much of my anger years ago. Next to my father, there wasn’t anyone I hated more back in the day. Even he was starting to get on my good side, though. But her…
My mind ran back to that day in my dorm room years ago. While I take responsibility for setting the stage for Sam to lose trust in me, it was Reina’s antics that broke us down the rest of the way, eventually ending up in a breakup that led to one tragic incident after another. Yes, Reina was the one who poured the gas, lit the match, and then walked away while everything Sam and I built together burned to the ground. I stared at Reina’s words on the paper, but wasn’t reading yet.
What could she possibly have to say to me after all these years?
‘Let me start by saying that, Kira, if you find this letter before AJ does, I’m sorry for going behind your back, but you didn’t leave me much choice. Every time I bring up talking to him and coming clean, you shut me down, but enough is enough. The WHOLE purpose of me coming there this week was to be morally supportive because you were SUPPOSED to be telling him the truth yourself, but like usual, you changed your mind. However, I’m tired of being your scapegoat, and you should be tired of lying.