Love Notes

Chapter 38-Charlie



I wake up to the sound of a bell. Mentally shaking my head, the feeling of dread washes over my body. I know what’s next–class with Maverick. God help me. I feel like my heart is going to burst out of my chest. I walk out of the room and start walking to the dreadful “history” class. I immediately stop myself and give myself a pep talk. “You can do this. You can do this and you handle worse every day. Sure it will be uncomfortable but that’s to be expected. Apparently I say the last part out loud because Will and Tori instantly flank my side and I hear, “You talking to yourself again girlfriend?” My moral support has arrived. “If you must know, I was giving myself a pep talk. You weren’t supposed to hear it.”

Tori stops and throws her arms around my shoulder, “You're one of the strongest chicks I know, you just don’t know this yet. Do me a favor though…” Before I can even answer her she says, “Make him think you are fine without him . It will make him miss you more.” Will then chimes in not to be out done and hugs my other side. “Charlie my friend, he’s an idiot. He will eventually get over this it just may take a while. The sad thing is you may not be around when he finally does.”

I’m definitely not ready to move on, but he’s right. And then just like that we are here. I throw my shoulders back, head up and without saying anything, walk into class. This is certainly harder than I even thought it was going to be, because there he is sitting in his seat and who is sitting right beside him but the “bitches”, lovely. I walk into the room avoiding any and all eye contact with either of them. I walk past and am about to sit in my seat when I hear a snort of laughter between the two. Time to say something and start taking up for myself because I am over this shit. I've put up with enough. One step at a time and this will be my practice run. “I’m sorry Ashley do you need a tissue or some Affrin for that nose problem thing you have going on.” If looks could kill I would be dead but I sure slapped that smirk right off of her face. Inside I’m beaming like a fool. Not because I really said anything that smart or profound but because I actually stood up and said something. 'Ha, take that bitches', I scream in my head.

No sooner do I feel my sense of accomplishment when I hear an all too familiar voice and one I’ve haven’t heard directed to me in weeks. “Hey Charlie, we really need to talk? I'm sorry we haven’t talked in a while.” I turn to face him. I may as well get this over with. I don’t want to appear snappy but damn it I’m hurt. “Maverick, I really don't have anything to say to you. Please just leave me alone. This isn't the time or the place.”

“Please, Charlie. We really need to talk.” Looking at him I can tell he’s sincere but haven't we been down this road before? My heart can't take it. I have been through so much, more than anyone else knows. I turn around and ignore him. Thankfully our history teacher walks in and puts a stop to Maverick talking.

The one thing that continually runs through my mind is this, isn't it my own damn fault that no one knew? Nobody can help you unless you talk to someone about it. I know the feeling of embarrassment is a huge part of it but it had gotten so bad. I had seen how Maverick's family was, didn't I? I should know that how I am treated is definitely not normal.

I contemplate this through the whole class. My mind running in several different directions and before I know it class is over. I rush out as fast as I can to avoid him. The part that broke my heart a little bit more is I could have sworn I heard Maverick's voice calling out to me as I ran away from class.