Baby Love by Andrea Smith
CHAPTER ONE
Preston had turned one month old today. I marveled at how much she looked like her father. I couldn’t have been more pleased. Trey had tried to convince me that she had a lot of me in her. He usually brought the resemblance to my attention whenever she whined or cried.
Preston had inherited Trey’s sapphire blue eyes. She had been blessed with his dimples. We had recently discovered the cheek dimple because she had started smiling for us. It delighted her daddy and me when she did.
Trey would not let her cry. It was heart-warming to see how he fussed over her when she became agitated or unhappy. He baby talked to her. I found it quite endearing and totally out of character for him.
I had become a natural at breast-feeding. I loved the connection and bond that it provided for my daughter and me. It was something that was all of my own. Her pediatrician had said she was thriving and told me to continue doing whatever it was I was doing.
Susan and Clive had come to Atlanta after I was released from the hospital. Clive stayed for a few days; Susan stayed for two weeks not allowing me to lift a finger at all. She cooked and cleaned; did laundry basically giving Mrs. Harris nothing to do on her days at our apartment. Susan rocked Preston when I wasn’t. I think Trey had felt a bit left out but he had been a pretty good sport about it.
Susan had purchased Preston a full wardrobe that looked like it would accommodate her for the next couple of years. She and I had sat on the couch after our shopping excursion, going through all of the beautiful dresses purchased in every color of the rainbow for every season. She had selected tights for all of the fall and winter couture.
She had bought sweaters, rompers, onesies and nightgowns. There were at least six pairs of tiny shoes to coordinate with her outfits.
We had ‘oohed’ and ahhed’ as we laid out the various ensembles across the living room sofa. Trey had rolled his eyes upon coming home from work seeing all of the clothing that his mother had purchased.
“Mom,” he had said, “It isn’t as if we haven’t bought things for the baby already.”
“Hush Trey Michael,” she had scolded in her lovely southern accent.
“It is so much more fun picking out clothes for a baby girl. All I had were boys so please indulge me. Besides, boy or girl, this is my first grandbaby and I will spoil her as much as I choose.”
Trey had mumbled something about having to get a second job in order to keep Preston ward robed in the style for which her grandmother had gotten her accustomed. Susan and I had exchanged amused smiles as he had sauntered off to his study.
Gina had hosted a baby shower for me the week before I delivered. We were set on everything. As promised, Gina had decorated the nursery in very good taste. She had selected mint green and pale yellow as the color scheme.
I had selected the crib in dark mahogany with a matching dresser, changing table and rocker. Gina had put everything else together with the bedding, window treatments and wall décor. We had transitioned the sparsely furnished guest room at Trey’s apartment into a beautiful nursery that any baby would have loved.
Trey had bought a large brown stuffed teddy bear with a light yellow bow tie the day had brought us home from the hospital. It was sitting in the corner of Preston’s crib which had not been used as of yet.
We kept her in the beautiful white bassinet in our room for now. Since I was breast-feeding and her nursery was down the hall a bit, I needed having her close to me.
I had been reading articles about the ‘family bed’ and ‘sleep sharing’ while in the hospital. I had brought some brochures home with me.
I had discovered through my research that many pediatricians were staunch advocates of the practice based on studies, which had concluded babies who had co-slept with their parents grew to be more confident and independent because of the early nurturing it provided. I hadn’t approached Trey just yet with that idea.
I had a few more baby pounds to lose although breastfeeding had definitely helped with the weight loss. I had been taking a Pilates class with Gina on Tuesday evenings. That was Trey’s assigned night to watch Preston. I had started them a week ago. Tonight would be my second class.
I was feeding Preston on our bed watching ‘Ellen’ on the flat screen in our bedroom. I was most comfortable lying on my side having her snuggled on her side in front of me. She was being a lazy eater this afternoon for some reason. She would doze off for a while, then wake and clamp down on my nipple nursing for a few minutes before she drifted off to sleep again.
I watched in fascination at her tiny little fists as they pressed in and out on my breast. I loved the feel and the smell of her. She was my precious baby. I had never felt this kind of love before. It was a different kind of love than what I had for Trey. It had been so immediate and so strong from the beginning. It was so unconditional, this baby love.
I thought about my mother and wondered why she had never felt that 'baby' love for me. I banished the thought of her from my mind. It was only painful and for now I wanted to enjoy this bonding with my daughter.
I looked down at her. She had fallen back to sleep again, my nipple had slipped from her little rosebud mouth. I kissed the top of her head and inhaled her sweet baby scent.
Ellen had that chick on her show from the Twilight saga movies, grilling her about her infidelities that had gone viral in the media.
The poor girl kept twisting her hair and running her hands through it like she was uncomfortable having to talk without a script. Clearly she was out of her comfort zone.
My cell phone vibrated on the nightstand next to the bed. I scooted over to get it trying to make sure that I didn’t wake Preston. It was Trey.
“Hey,” I answered quietly.
“Hey you,” he said in his smooth and silky voice. “Did I catch you at a bad time?”
“No – I’m just lying on the bed with Preston. She just finished nursing and fell asleep. I’m watching Ellen. How is your day going?"
“Well sweetie I’m going to be a little late this evening. I wanted to let you know in case you had dinner planned. We have a partners meeting at 6:00 so I probably won’t be home until close to 7:30. Is that going to screw anything up?”
“I have Pilates at 8:00 with Gina remember?”
“Shit that’s right. What time does she pick you up?”
“About 7:45.”
“Okay baby. I will do my best not to be any later than 7:30, I promise.”
“You better not be,” I warned. “You want me back in shape don’t you?”
“I think you look great just the way you are right now.”
“You’re just horny Trey,” I laughed.
“Speaking of which,” he replied.
“I see Dr. Addison next week Trey. He has to check me to make sure I’m healed before he gives you the green light.”
“Make sure he knows that my balls are blue, will you?”
I giggled at this. He was not the martyr he was making himself out to be.
“I’ve been taking care of you Mr. Sinclair,” I replied, “Quite often as a matter of fact.”
“I know baby and I love what your mouth does for me but I miss . . .”
Someone had entered Trey’s office as he left the rest of the sentence hanging. I could hear a muffled conversation.
“Sorry Tylar,” he said, “Tonya needed me to sign something. Where were we?”
“I believe you were complaining about blue balls?”
“Oh yeah, and you were telling me they are likely to get bluer?"
“Trey remember that Dr. Addison initially said six weeks. It’s only been four. He will check my stitches when I go in next week and we will take it from there."
“Will Preston be able to start sleeping in her room by then?” he asked.
(Oh God – was this the right time to discuss the ‘family bed’?)
“Well Trey, I sort of thought it might be best if she stayed in our room as long as I’m breastfeeding."
“How long do you intend to breast feed?”
“I don’t know. Some mother’s breast feed until the child reaches two years of age.”
“Are you serious?”
“Why don’t we discuss this later? I really need to get her into her bassinet and start dinner, okay?"
“I guess,” he mumbled a hint of a pout in his voice.
“So dinner will be waiting when you get in this evening. I love you, Trey.”
“Love you too.”
I could tell that Trey would not be a happy camper when I approached him about the ‘family bed’. I would have to carefully plan my strategy on that one.
I gently picked Preston up and kissed her cheeks softly. Her lashes were long and thick like Trey’s. I placed her into the bassinet and pulled the blanket up to her waist. I gazed down as she stretched and put her hand to her face, her thumb finding its place in her mouth.
She had started sucking her thumb in the hospital.
Trey had been worried that if she continued it would cause problems when her teeth came in. Her pediatrician was not worried. We had encouraged a pacifier multiple times which she had promptly spit back out in favor of her thumb.
Trey had said that she was stubborn like me. It amused me that all of the negative qualities she had exhibited so far Trey attributed to my genetic contribution.
I turned the baby monitor on and went to the kitchen to start making my special meatloaf for dinner. I switched the monitor on in there so that I could hear Preston if she awoke. I set about getting the ingredients out, deciding that I would make scalloped potatoes to go with it. Thirty minutes later both the meatloaf and potatoes were in the oven set to bake for one hour.
I went back to our bedroom and checked the baby to make sure she was still sleeping. Seeing that she was, I decided to take a quick shower.
My long, leisurely bubble baths were history for now. I got clean clothes from my closet and went into the bathroom leaving the door open to the bedroom in case she awoke. I was showered and shampooed within ten minutes.
I dressed in capri pants and a tank top to accommodate Junes' warm and muggy weather. I let my hair air dry after combing it out. I went ahead and packed my gym bag for Pilates so it would be ready when Gina arrived.
When Trey walked through the door at five minutes to seven that evening I had Preston in her plastic tub bathing her on the kitchen counter. She had learned to splash her bath water quite well with those little arms of hers; I was getting the bulk of it on my once dry clothing.
"Hi honey, just in time,” I called out as he set his briefcase down.
He came up behind and wrapped his arms around me nuzzling my neck. I got goose bumps just like always when his warm lips kissed my neck softly over and over again. I was supporting the baby’s head; a clean towel was thrown over my shoulder.
“Trey," I said laughing, maneuvering myself around him, "Could you hold the towel so that I can get her wrapped up in it? I’m going to need to change my shirt before Gina gets here.”
“Sure baby,” he answered, pulling the towel from my shoulder and coming around next to me.
I lifted Preston from the warm bath her little legs were kicking water onto both of us. Trey placed the towel behind her, wrapping it over each side of her as I lifted one hand and then the other so we could properly swaddle her. He was becoming an expert at this.
Bundled up, I drew the baby against me as I leaned into Trey in order to kiss him properly. He enfolded both of us into his strong arms. Our lips met in a long, leisurely kiss. I missed him when he was at work all day. It had been different when I was working at the firm with him. Even though our relationship didn’t officially exist there, we would still see each other in passing and occasionally for lunch.
Preston was squirming against me; I could feel her rooting for my breast. I pulled back from Trey, lifting my shirt up to give her access to what she wanted. I kissed him again loving the feel of his lips on mine.
"Mmmm," I sighed wanting more.
Preston's loud sucking finally broke the quiet, intimate moment. Trey chuckled as he broke away. He leaned down and kissed the top of her head and greeted her. He had nicknamed her ‘Bobbin’ because of the way her head bobbed as a newborn.
I glanced at the clock. Shit, I only had ten minutes before Gina would be here. I asked Trey to warm up one of the bottles in the fridge that I had prepared with the help of my breast pump so that he could finish feeding her while I changed tops. In less than a minute, our daughter was safely ensconced in her father’s arms finishing her dinner while I went back to our room to change.
Trey would have to dress her when she finished eating. He was still a bit nervous about that part thinking she would break. I had assured him numerous times that she would not.
Once I had pulled a clean tee shirt on, I gathered up my gym bag, along with a disposable diaper, cotton nightgown, booties and a light receiving blanket for Preston.
Back in the living room the doorman buzzed that Gina was on her way up. I placed the receiving blanket over Trey’s left shoulder so that when he burped the baby his Armani jacket would be protected.
He was cooing to Preston as he cradled her and continued to bottle-feed. Her large blue eyes were watching him in awe.
(Just like mommy loved watching him.)
Her tiny little fingers were clutching and tugging at his long slender ones wrapped around the bottle. My heart swelled watching father and daughter bond. I decided it was good to use the breast pump to allow Trey to share in her feeding as well. It made me feel less guilty about leaving her.
I let Gina in and she immediately wanted to hold Preston before we left for Pilates. Trey grudgingly pulled the bottle away from her, carefully cradling her head as Gina bent to take her from him. Gina rocked her within her arms, swaying her back and forth while talking to her.
“Who is the prettiest baby in Atlanta, huh Preston? Is it you? Is it you? Aunt Gina thinks it is. Aunt Gina thinks Preston is the most beautiful baby girl in the whole world.”
It amused me how otherwise perfectly sane adults would babble like idiots when a baby was around. Not that I was immune to the same type of behavior.
While Gina was busy rocking and cradling Preston, I decided to fill Trey in on my pre-departure instructions.
“Trey your dinner is warming in the oven. Please diaper and dress the baby as soon as Gina hands her back?”
“Yes Tylar,” he replied acting like an exasperated husband, but smiling.
“Okay. Now her swing is in your study so if you have work to do, please keep her in there with you?”
He nodded affirmatively.
“But if you’re going to watch television, move it out here."
“I think I can handle that Tylar. We did just fine last week remember?”
“Well except for the mustard explosion on our duvet I guess so.”
“The what?” Gina asked, rocking back and forth with Preston.
Trey groaned knowing that I delighted in sharing this story with whoever cared to listen.
“Well Trey thought it would be good for Preston to lay on our bed next to him while he channel surfed so that she could thoroughly dry from her bath. He hadn’t even diapered her yet. Unfortunately he became so engrossed in watching something on ESPN that he forgot about it until he heard the unmistakable sound of our daughter passing gas. When he looked down to check, he saw that she had passed much more than gas on our lovely new duvet.”
“Oh no!” Gina laughed hysterically.
“Oh yes,” I said, nodding my head.
“Breastfed baby poop is the color of mustard. You can imagine how that looked on our new wheat-colored duvet.”
“Way to go counselor,” she teased.
Trey rolled his eyes at her. I gave Trey a kiss grabbing my gym bag.
“I should be back before 9:30,” I said. “You two have a good time.”
Gina raised Preston up to her face, giving her a kiss on her dimpled cheek.
“Look guys – she’s smiling at me!”
(Uh oh)
Gina relinquished Preston to Trey, who lifted her and placed her gently against his right shoulder just as she projectile spit-up all over the lapel of his Armani suit jacket.
“Oops,” Gina murmured, apologetically.
“Maybe I jostled her a little too much just now.”
Trey cocked an eyebrow at her.
“You think Gina?”
We scurried out of the apartment waiting until we were safely in the elevator before we cut loose with our giggling.
“The Hot Nazi is pissed at me I’ll bet,” Gina said grinning from ear to ear.
“It’s dry cleanable, no worries,” I answered.
“Seriously though, Ty. He is adorable with her I have to admit.”
“I know,” I replied warmly. “He has surpassed my expectations as a father that is for sure. I mean I knew that he would eventually get with the program, but right from the start he has been a major help with the baby.”
We were in Gina’s car on the way to the gym and she had been quiet for the past few minutes.
“Ian and I are off birth control,” she stated quietly.
“That is so great Gina! I hope you get pregnant quickly so that there isn’t too much of an age difference between our babies.”
“Wouldn’t that be so cool? I want to breast feed too. You make it look so easy Ty.”
“It is easy,” I admitted. “But more than that, it is just so special the way it makes you feel. It’s hard to describe. Did I tell you that I want to start sleep-sharing?"
“Sleep sharing? What is that exactly?”
I explained to Gina that many parents that are breastfeeding their infants are now opting to have the ‘family bed’, which is where the mother, father, and baby all sleep together. It was supposed to help with total family bonding as well as benefit the infant promoting security and self-confidence.
“So the Hot Nazi is down with that?”
“Well actually I haven’t discussed it with Trey in any detail yet.”
“Right,” she laughed. “You be sure and let me know how that goes, alright?”
“I think Trey will be on board with it,” I lied.
“Ty – I hate to state the obvious here girlfriend, but it looks like I have to. How in the hell are you two supposed to have a sex life with a baby there in bed with you all night long?”
I flushed knowing that this would be the same argument I could expect from Trey when I approached him on it.
“Gina,” I replied patiently, “It enhances the specialness for couples as they find more creative and spontaneous times and places in their schedules to accommodate their lovemaking in private.”
I had practically memorized this verbatim from the information I had found online relative to the ‘family bed’.
“Right,” Gina replied. “I’m gonna go out on a limb here Tylar and say that there isn’t going to be any ‘family bed’ in your house as long as Trey is living there.”
She started snickering. I ignored her for the moment fairly certain that she was right.
Pilates was brutal but well worth it when I got home and weighed myself on the bathroom scale. I had lost two more pounds since last week. I had only four more pounds to go until I would be back to my pre-pregnancy weight.
Trey was in our bedroom watching something on ESPN. Preston was sleeping soundly in her bassinet next to our bed. I crawled up on the bed next to Trey.
“How did she do for you tonight?” I asked him.
“She was a perfect angel as always,” he boasted gently tugging at my ponytail to draw my face close to his. He kissed me warmly.
“I’m going to grab a shower. Want to join me?” I asked.
Trey gave me his dimpled grin. Within moments we
were soaping each other up in the shower, enjoying the
feel of our hands all over each other. We quickly towel dried ourselves then made a beeline for the bed while we had this window of opportunity before Preston would demand my attention once again.
We crawled beneath the sheets still damp from our shower. Trey was on his back, his arm crooked beneath his head, watching me as I traced his nipple with my tongue. I continued on a southward path down his taut belly and below.
My hands caressed his hips and massaged his firm ass. I parted his thighs and crawled between his legs and knelt, bending over to allow my damp hair to caress his belly while I took his manhood into my mouth. I gently flicked my tongue along the growing length of it.
“Mmmm,” I moaned as I brought his erection to fullness.
I went up and down on him, rocking back and forth to take his full length into my mouth. My tongue swirled hungrily around and around the head, tasting his clear fluid as his hips gyrated with pleasure.
My fingers massaged his scrotum gently; my fingernails traced the seam to his sensitive perineum. I applied pressure to several spots there. I could tell my massaging was bringing considerable pleasure to him. He moaned each time I increased the pressure in a different area.
“Oh baby,” he rasped, “Are you ready for some protein?”
His hips were thrusting faster and harder now. I moaned loving the taste of him; hungry for the warm, salty protein he was about to give me. I sucked harder now; working my mouth to bring him his pleasured release.
Just then Preston started fussing from her bassinet. I could hear her sucking loudly on her fingers. She was hungry and it was right on schedule. I tried to increase my rhythm on Trey, going up and down on him faster. He had slowed his thrusting, distracted by the
baby's fussing. Her discomfort was quickly escalating into full-blown crying.
It was no use. The window of opportunity had slammed shut for the moment. His hands framed my head, brushing my hair back and raising me up gently so that I could see his face.
“Take care of Preston baby. I can wait.”
He smiled at me with his still smoldering eyes that were hungry for fulfillment. We both understood that she was our priority now. I lifted his hand, kissing the palm of it before I scooted out of our bed and lifted my hungry baby to my breast. She rooted for a couple of seconds before firmly latching on to my nipple.
I climbed back up into bed next to Trey, pulling the sheet up around us as he pulled me back against him, resting an arm around my shoulder.
Preston’s sapphire blue eyes were wide as she locked her gaze onto me; her tiny fist kneading my breast. I looked down at her thinking about what she had just interrupted. She smiled up at me, dimpling in that same way Trey did; a droplet of milk ran down her chin.
I smiled back at her, cradling her closely to me. Her head bobbed at my breast as she sucked noisily to fulfillment.