CHAPTER 6
I had been sleeping for awhile when I heard Preston fussing once again from her bedroom. I felt Trey get up and leave our bed, returning within a couple of minutes with Preston in his arms. I pretended to sleep, never opening my eyes.
I felt Trey lower himself down onto the bed, and fumble with my nightgown trying to lower the neckline in order to place Preston next to me so that she could nurse. I rolled my body away from them into a tight ball, leaving him and my hungry baby staring at my back.
I heard Trey curse softly under his breath as he left our bed. He returned a few moments later with Preston and a bottle. I could hear him coaxing her to take the bottle as she fussed wanting my breast instead.
Tears stained my cheeks as I did nothing to remedy the situation. Trey was finally able to persuade her to take the nipple of the bottle into her mouth; I heard her finally start sucking away on it hungrily. What kind of a piece of shit mother was I?
I fell back into a restless and troubled sleep. My dreams haunted me; the one I had this night was the worst ever. I dreamed that I was wandering around a cemetery by myself; I was tired, hungry and totally disheveled.
I had no clue as to where I was or how I had gotten there. I tripped over a branch that had fallen from a large oak tree in the cemetery; rain was pounding down around me in torrents.
I tried in vain to get my bearings in this dark, wet cemetery. On the ground crawling in inches after my fall, my hands frantically searched to find something stable. I finally grasped something that felt human, or at least previously human. I scooted up towards what I had been touching with my hands. It was cold and unyielding. My eyes finally adjusted to the dark and I could make out the features. I shrieked in fear and in disgust. It was Jean!
Her features were distorted by decay. Her skin was dark brown and textured like leather. I found the strength to raise myself up and onto my feet. I wanted to run as fast and as far away as possible from what I had just discovered.
I felt the bile rise up in my throat. I stumbled over a flat gravestone and sprawled once again onto the ground of the cemetery; the rain was pelting against my skin from all directions. I blinked my eyes trying to get some focus against the raindrops which were mercilessly assaulting my face. I was now belly-crawling through this unnamed cemetery looking for any exit out of the nightmare.
My hand brushed against another flat headstone that felt smooth to the touch. The raised mound of dirt on this side of it reflected a fresh grave. It was a tiny grave. There was an outline of an angel engraved into the headstone. I stared into the face of the angel then lowered my gaze to see what was encrypted in the marble:
Preston Michaela Sinclair
Beloved Daughter of Tylar & Trey
Rest In Peace Our Little Angel
I felt the scream rise up in my throat. The next thing I heard was it echoing across the cemetery. It was a plaintive wail. The sound of it made my own skin crawl.
My baby was gone . . . my precious angel was gone forever. I had failed to protect her. My screams went on and on. I saw no reason to stop screaming. I wanted to die screaming.
"Tylar!"
Someone was yelling my name. I felt a hand slapping me across my face. It stung like hell. I felt the tears rushing down my cheeks.
A light flickered on overhead. My eyes immediately squeezed shut tightly to shield the light from them. My pulse slowed. I became aware that I was no longer belly-crawling through a cemetery but was in fact in my bed.
Trey was looking down at me his eyes wide with alarm and fear.
"Trey," I gasped. "Where is Preston?"
"She's in her bed in her room," he stated.
I quickly threw the covers back and launched myself out of our bed making a mad dash for her room. I flicked the overhead lights on once I was there and crept up quietly to her crib. I watched as her swaddled little body slept, noting the rise and fall of her stomach as she breathed life.
Trey was right behind me in the doorway. The look of alarm was apparent on his face. Did he think that I would do anything to hurt my baby?
He stood in the doorway, watching me as I leaned over the rails of her crib and gently lifted her up, placing her gently against me. I kissed the top of her head over and over again. My tears were still flowing. She squirmed against me, yawning and stretching in my arms as I cradled her and rocked her gently.
I took a seat in the nearby rocker, lowering my nightgown to expose a breast as I cuddled her next to me. She latched onto my breast within seconds, gently sucking and kneading them in contentment. I loved her so much. I didn't know how long I sat there rocking my beautiful baby girl before I felt Trey lift her from my arms and place her back into her crib, drawing a blanket up to her waist and turning her overhead light out.
He came to me holding his hand out to help me from the rocker and gently led me back to our bed. I crawled beneath the comforter, snuggling up against him as he found his place beside me. I felt Trey's hands against me, removing my nightgown, lowering my panties as his hands urgently plied my womanhood.
I grew wet for him as I always did; pressing my body up against him hungry for a release that I knew only he could give me.
Trey wasted no time on foreplay. Our coupling now required no foreplay. It was simply one of need and fulfillment. We had lost our connection for a brief period of time and we both needed it back.
He was hovering over me now, his throbbing manhood poised above me, waiting for entrance. I opened my body and my heart for him as he plunged within me again and again. I felt pleasure and pain at the same time; I deserved both. I loved my husband and I loved my daughter more than anything else on earth. For some reason I had become ungrounded with the fear that something unexpected was threatening our family bonds.
"Are you ready baby? Are you ready to come for Trey?"
I loved his sweet voice; I loved the way that Trey loved me and made love to me. I loved the way that Trey fucked me when he knew that fucking was what I needed.
"I'm ready baby," I breathed, grabbing his tight ass and pulling it in towards me.
He was mine for now. I wasn't sure about forever because I had no point of reference on that. I had known plenty of people that had promised forever but it had just never come to be. For now he was mine. This was mine. Perhaps that is all that I could ever hope for.
I knew that no matter what, I would do everything within my power to protect Preston with my last dying breath.
Trey came with a vengeance at that moment and so did I. We screamed in pleasure, calling out each other's names in passion and in love. We clung to each other out of love and need. He was my rock just as I was his. Preston was the bond between us that would never break. She was his gift to me and my gift to him. She was the better of us both and we knew it. She was the result of our perfect coupling.
Trey collapsed beside me; he was spent, his breath ragged and shallow as he relaxed from our lovemaking.
"Tylar, I love you so much," he breathed, kissing my face, my neck and my lips warmly.
"Please let me in."
I was puzzled by what Trey had just said to me. Not the part about loving me - he told me that quite often. I was puzzled about his final comment about letting him in.
I pulled back from him, searching his face in the semi-darkness of the room looking for a hint.
"Trey, I love you," I whispered against his chest as my face lowered to him.
"You are always with me," I said, hoping that this somehow satisfied his need to be let in.
Trey perched himself up on his elbow, taking his hand and gently brushing my hair back off of my face. He leaned towards me and brushed his lips against mine gently.
"Tylar," he said gently, "How would you feel about my mother coming and spending some time here with us?"
"Why?" I asked tentatively.
"I just feel that maybe you need a break baby. I know that you trust Mom with Preston, and she would love to spend some time here with the baby and with us. This way, you could focus on getting the house ready for our move. Would you consider coming back to the firm for a few weeks?"
"What?" I asked confused as to how the subject of his mother coming to stay for awhile had morphed into my going back to work.
"Leah has to have some surgery. You know Harmon's office almost as well as she does. If you could help out there for me, Mom could take care of Preston and baby I really do think it would do you some good to be away from the baby a little bit. You know to make sure that you see there is nothing at all to be frightened about okay?"
Trey really did not get it. I could see that now. To argue or resist his suggestions would only reaffirm what he was already thinking which was that I was paranoid or delusional or both. I was not prepared to argue this point with him because the truth was I had no argument. I was operating solely on maternal instinct and I knew that in Trey's eyes it would never hold up in court.
"Trey," I said, smiling up at him, "I think that is a great idea. Aren't your parents in Europe right now though?"
He raised my hand to his lips, lightly brushing them against it; his eyes never strayed from mine.
"I talked to my mother earlier this evening; she would absolutely love cutting their trip short in order to spend some time with us as long as you are okay with it."
"Well of course I am," I lied. "Preston needs some quality time with grandma and you know, you are probably right. I need to spend some quality time outside of this apartment and focusing on things other than the baby."
Trey pulled me to him, embracing me within his strong arms as I tried to swallow the lump of fear that was lodged within my throat