CHAPTER TWO
Dr. Addison cleared me as being completely healed at my appointment. He indicated that I could resume full sexual activity. I knew Trey would be delighted with this news.
The doctor and I discussed birth control that would accommodate my breast-feeding. I decided to be fitted for a diaphragm; it was the most risk-free option in my mind.
I discussed the 'family bed' with Dr. Addison, confiding to him my fears that Trey would shoot it down due to our "robust" sex life. Dr. Addison chuckled. I had a feeling he had heard it all before.
"The most important thing is that both you and Trey be fully committed to doing this. That is the only way that it will successfully work. Let Trey read the information. Discuss it amongst yourselves; identify the pros and cons and then mutually decide what is best for all of you."
"Thanks Dr. Addison, I will," I promised. "I realize that it is a commitment for both of us."
"Speaking of which, Tylar, I understand that you and Trey are to be married next month?"
"Yes," I smiled. We're getting married on July 4th at his family home in Virginia."
"Independence Day, huh?"
"Yes, doctor. I guess you see the irony in that as well."
I smiled, as it had become a family joke with the Sinclair's since we had told them.
"I think that you and Trey will make a wonderful family with your precious baby. It does my heart good to see the commitment you both already have to yourselves and your beautiful daughter. Best wishes to you both."
He smiled then, taking my chart and leaving the examination room.
I removed the paper gown I had been given in advance of my examination and started getting dressed in my own clothing. I contemplated how I would address a couple of these issues with Trey.
It was not just the 'family bed', it involved abstinence as well. I knew that Trey would be quizzing me at his earliest opportunity about what the doctor had said about resuming sex. The truth was there was just under a month left until our wedding. Part of me wanted to honor tradition and practice abstinence until our wedding night. Having him agree to the 'family bed' would certainly make that part easier.
Mrs. Harris had watched Preston for me while I kept my appointment with Dr. Addison. She was an absolute dear with the baby; watching her occasionally on her days at our apartment so that I could run quick errands or keep appointments for various wedding preparations.
I didn't want to take advantage of her, so I went directly home after leaving the doctor's office. I would take Preston with me tomorrow when I had the final fitting for my wedding gown. Gina was going with me so she could help with the baby.
Preston was awake in her swing when I got back to the apartment. Jean was singing while she dusted the living room. Preston was swinging back and forth, content to watch her.
She immediately recognized my voice as I greeted Jean and then bent down to talk to her. She smiled, dimpling me with her Trey dimple that warmed my heart.
"That is one good baby you have there, Tylar," Jean said as she continued dusting.
"She never gives me a bit of trouble. Whatever you are doing, it sure does make her one happy little baby girl I can tell you that."
I beamed with pride. Having no experience with babies it meant a lot that someone like Jean who had four children of her own would recognize that I was doing something right. Of course I had to give Trey his just due. He was a very participative father.
"Thanks Jean," I said, lifting Preston from her swing.
I couldn't get enough of her baby smell. I pressed her close to me, planting soft kisses on her head. She snuggled against me.
"She sure does look like her daddy," Jean commented. "Though I think she has your mouth and nose," she quickly added. "Between the both of you, Preston is going to be one beautiful girl. I can tell you that."
"I think so, too, Jean. Although it's mostly from Trey I think. He is quite a handsome man."
"Don't you sell yourself short Tylar. You are a mighty handsome woman yourself. Why you and Mr. Sinclair complement each other with your good looks. That baby got the best of both of you. Anyone can see that."
"I never expected that I could love the way I love her Jean. I want to tell you how much I appreciate your watching her while I kept my appointment. I am very protective of her and you feel like family - I hope I'm not imposing--"
"Not one bit," she assured me as she finished up in the living room.
"It does my heart good to care for a little one again. I feel like family with her too, Tylar."
Preston was squirming in my arms, a sign she was either hungry or needed a diaper change. I decided I would check her diaper first.
I headed to the nursery laying her down on her changing table and raising the rails on it while I gathered up a clean diaper and the baby wet wipes dispenser.
She promptly started sucking her thumb; her big blue eyes followed me as I crossed the room to get the tube of ointment off the dresser. She was kicking her little legs as I unsnapped her onesie and ripped the taped tabs off of her disposable diaper.
"Pee-Yew!" I said, pinching my nose and smiling down at her.
"Somebody has a stinky poo-poo in her diaper, doesn't she?"
She grinned at me, momentarily forgetting about her thumb, kicking her legs as I removed the dirty diaper and wiped her clean. Once cleaned up, I dabbed some ointment on her almost healed belly button and fastened a fresh diaper on her. I swaddled her back up in a clean receiving blanket and cradled her against me as I put the soiled diaper in the stainless steel lidded container.
I carried her into our bedroom and settled down on the bed with her. She started rooting for my breast; I knew it was nearly time for her next feeding. I switched the television on and we got comfortable in our normal position watching Ellen. She clamped onto my breast, sucking hungrily as I pulled a blanket up to partially cover us. It was so cozy nestled with her that I ended up dozing off as she nursed contentedly encircled in my arms.
It must have been an hour or more later that Trey lifted a sleeping Preston from my arms, gently placing her into the bassinet near our bed. I awoke and yawned, stretching languidly as I pulled the blanket up further. My nap was delicious. I didn't want it to end now that I knew Preston was snuggled up in her bassinet sawing logs.
Trey was beside me in a moment, wrapping me in his arms, kissing my neck. He fondled the bare breast that Preston had just left.
"What did the doctor say today, baby?"
(Uh oh.)
"Well, he said that it looks as if I am healing up nicely."
(No lie there.)
"So? Are we good to go then?"
"How romantic, Mr. Sinclair," I commented wryly.
"Baby, it's been a total of seven weeks since I have been able to sink myself into you. Two weeks before you delivered; the last five since Preston came along. I'm not thinking romance at the moment."
I looked up at him warily, not sure what his response was going to be when I presented my idea to him.
"Trey, will you consider something and I mean really consider it before answering?"
He cocked an eyebrow now looking at me warily, waiting for what I was about to spring on him.
"Go on," he urged.
I sat up in order to face him squarely while we discussed this. At least I was hopeful that it would be open for discussion.
"We are getting married in less than four weeks," I started. "I was hoping that you would be agreeable to abstaining from, well, from any form of sex until our honeymoon."
I blurted the last part out hurriedly afraid I would chicken out if I delayed the inevitable.
"You have got to be fucking kidding me," he practically screeched. "Why?"
"I know you are probably thinking 'what's the point' in doing this, I get that, but honey, I'm just asking for some semblance of tradition. I think it will add so much more mystique and romanticism to the wedding and honeymoon. It's just as rough on me as it is on you believe me. . . .Please for me?"
(That last part was a cheap shot, I realized, but I really needed to get him on board with it.)
He was glaring at me in disbelief, but at least he was not shouting, nor had he given me a definitive 'no.' He raked both hands through his hair.
(Not a good sign, double raking.)
"Tylar, what exactly will that prove? I mean I'm horny as hell for you right this minute. It seems like it has been months instead of weeks. Don't you miss it?"
"I just said I did Trey. How could you think that it hasn't been hard for me as well? I just want that feeling back like when it was our first time. Just a little bit of mystery because we are sort of 'rediscovering' ourselves on our honeymoon. I know it may seem ridiculous to you. If you say 'no' I won't be mad or anything."
(I knew that last part would really get to him. I was counting on it to at least.)
"Christ, Tylar, what the hell? When you put it like that I guess I would be some uncouth caveman if I didn't honor your request now wouldn't I?"
"Trey, are you angry?"
"No, just a bit disappointed. I'll get over it."
He raised himself off of the bed, loosening his tie and unbuttoning his dress shirt to get into his sweats, which were his usual after work garb.
I went to the kitchen and prepared dinner. I broiled some steaks and made a salad. We ate in silence. I tried to strike up a conversation, asking about things at the office. Trey was giving me one or two word answers. This was not working.
Halfway through my dinner, I stood up, taking my plate to the kitchen and scraping my uneaten portion into the trash. I rinsed the plate, shoving it into the dishwasher and went into the laundry room to check on the load of Preston's clothing that I had washed separate from ours.
I was folding her little onesies, tee shirts, socks and receiving blankets when Trey came in a few minutes later with his cell phone in hand.
"Mom is on the phone," he said. "She wants to talk to you."
(Oh dear God! Had he called his mother to complain about my requested abstinence until we marry?)
I took the phone, giving him an obvious glare in the process.
"Hello," I greeted tentatively.
"Hi there Tylar," Susan gushed, "How is my grandbaby doing? I bet she has grown a foot since ma-maw left her," she whined.
I had to smile.
"Not quite," I replied, "But it does seem as if she changes just a little bit every day."
"Well sweetie, I won't keep you I just wanted to finalize some of the arrangements as far as the music and caterers we've lined up. Do you have just a few minutes?"
"Of course," I answered, relieved that Trey had not complained to her about my latest request.
I should have known he wouldn't run to mommy. What the hell was I thinking?
Susan and I discussed the arrangements with respect to the music and food. I had absolutely put my foot down with having a huge extravagant wedding since in fact the bride's parents were supposed to foot the bill and that was a moot point for me. Trey and I insisted on covering the expense of it even though Clive and Susan wanted to do it.
The other reason was that I simply had no family to invite. The larger the wedding, the more obvious that would become. We had decided on close family and friends. Gina and Denise would be my attendants; Tristan was Trey's best man; Ray was his groomsman.
The wedding would be held over at 'the Belle on the grounds of the mansion. The reception would be held close by in the area that was under roof just for occasions such as that. We were going to have a formal sit down dinner, with a live band that Ian had selected for us.
Our ceremony was to be a sunset wedding so that the heat of July would have cooled down somewhat. Since I had no father to 'give me away,' Trey and I would arrive in a horse drawn carriage, hand in hand.
Our vows would be exchanged on the enormous front porch of the mansion, while guest seating would be on the front lawn of the estate. Susan had arranged for the flowers and landscaping. She allowed no arguments there.
Clive and Tess would be attending, now that his divorce was final from Caroline. Thank God there would be no Caroline or Landon to deal with. I was secretly glad that Tess would be in attendance witnessing Trey's declaration of love and commitment to me.
Susan and I had pretty much wrapped up the details when she sprung a question that caught me a bit off guard.
"Is everything alright between you and Trey, sweetie?"
(Where the hell did that come from?)
I stammered a bit, not sure what she already knew or what she simply suspected from talking to Trey and then me.
"Honey, I'm not trying to nose into your business, but I am a mother and I can tell that Trey seemed a bit distracted. In talking to you now I'm picking up the same vibe. Is there anything you want to talk about sweetie?"
"It's just," I stammered, flushing.
This was the kind of thing I would have talked to my own mom about (had she been a normal 'mom' type.) But this was Trey's mom and I wasn't sure if confiding in her crossed some sort of boyfriend/girlfriend line or not.
"Honey, tell me unless you are not comfortable sharing it with me."
Damn - I didn't want to hurt her feelings. The truth was; another opinion would be objective and right now, objectivity was what I needed.
"It's just that my doctor has cleared me physically to have, you know, to have 'relations' again."
(God this wasn't easy!)
"Uh huh," she said, seemingly unaffected by the content of our discussion so far.
"So anyway, I sort of suggested to Trey that maybe it would be kind of romantic and traditional if we abstained until after the wedding. . ."
"I see," she replied, the amusement evident in her voice. "And my son was not pleased with this request I take it?"
"Not at all," I replied.
"Honey, I think that this is a very reasonable request and I totally understand the spirit in which it was suggested. What you have to understand is that men don't necessarily think along the same lines that we women do. I can't tell you what the right thing is; I can tell you that what you've requested in my opinion is not unreasonable. It's up to you as to whether you can put up with his pouting for the next few weeks. I know Trey. I'm betting that in the next few days you and he will work something out together."
She was right; we needed to work it out together. Perhaps I needed to bring Trey into the fold regarding the 'family bed' and use that as leverage so that we could work out some sort of a compromise. I got off of the phone with Susan promising to email her some recent pictures of Preston.
I had the small basket of Preston's clothes folded and headed down the hall to put them in her room. As I approached Trey's study, I could hear him talking to someone. I peered in seeing him in his swivel chair, leaning back with Preston in his arms.
He was feeding her a bottle. She must have awakened while I was on the phone with Susan. I stopped to watch his interaction with her as he fed her. He didn't see me in the hallway.
He talked to her, calling her 'Bobbin.' He told her how much he loved her and what a good baby she was and that she was daddy's girl. My heart was heavy with the love I had for him. I thought about all that he had gone through these past several months.
The holidays had been one huge fucked-up mess after another. My roller-coaster hormonal pregnancy had not helped during all of this. He had spent many hours of his own time handling my affairs with respect to my missing-in-action mother; negotiating a settlement on the depletion of my trust; trying to uncover the mystery behind the trustor believed to be my natural father and handling his full-time job as a law partner and lover to me.
I loved him so much. I needed to show him that it wasn't always about me and what I wanted.
I went into his office; he looked up as I entered and smiled. Preston's fingers were wrapped around his again as she stared up at him with her big blue eyes.
"Do you want me to finish feeding her Trey?" I asked softly.
"No, I've got this," he answered. "I miss her during the day you know."
"I know sweetie."
"So what did mom want to discuss?"
"Just some last minute stuff with the wedding," I replied. "Everything seems to be on track. I have my final fitting on my dress tomorrow. Gina and I are going together so I'll take Preston with me since it's not Jean's day to be here."
"Sounds good," he remarked, watching the baby with a look of love and amusement on his face as she continued to gaze up at him draining her bottle.
"Hey," he said, "I'll go ahead and finish feeding her then change her for bed. Why don't you go ahead and get a nice leisurely bath if you want."
"Really?" I asked, "That sounds so good at the moment."
"Go ahead, baby. I got this covered."
I went over and leaned down, brushing a kiss on his lips.
"Thank you Trey," I said.
I quickly left his office, anxious to enjoy some leisure time in the bathroom.
An hour later, having emerged from an absolutely lovely bubble bath, thoroughly washed, shampooed, shaved and moisturized, I dressed with care in one of my sexiest nightgowns.
I blew my hair dry, pulling it up on top of my head with a comb so that it looked tousled and sexy. My breasts were fairly bursting from the plunging neckline of my nightgown. I inserted my diaphragm, coated with the spermicidal jelly recommended.
I exited the bathroom and headed down the hallway. Trey was in Preston's nursery, having changed and dressed her in pajamas. He was rocking her, singing to her softly. He saw me standing in the doorway, dressed as I was dressed and stopped singing mid-sentence.
"Is she asleep, Trey?" I asked.
He stopped rocking her and held her from him making sure that her eyes were closed.
"Yep," he answered with a sly smile.
"Let's put her to bed then. How much longer do you plan on staying up?"
"I'm ready now," he breathed, his gaze burning into me like a hungry flame.
We tucked Preston into her bassinet in our room. She immediately found her thumb without waking. I leaned down, kissing her soft, chubby little cheek.
When I straightened up Trey was right beside me, pulling me towards him and pressing me against him.
His lips found mine, possessing them hungrily. We devoured each other with that kiss. I felt warm all over, craving something that I had not had in quite awhile. He lifted me up, gently placing me on the bed, his eyes perused me appreciatively.
I watched as he pulled the drawstring on his sweats, letting them slide down over his slim hips and muscular thighs. He had no boxers on so his erect manhood was in full spectacular view. He pulled his tee shirt up and over his shoulders, tossing it to the floor.
He put his knee on the bed, leaning over and scooping me up into his embrace. His fingers lightly touched the plunging neckline of my nightie, pulling it lower, springing one of my breasts free so that his hand could caress and massage it.
I watched as his head lowered taking the nipple into his mouth and sucking gently while kneading it with his fingertips.
"Mmmm," he moaned softly, "Breast milk isn't all that bad," he breathed, circling my erect nipple with his tongue over and over again.
He continued suckling, then moved to free my other breast, giving it a share of his attention.
"I guess I'd better leave some for Preston, huh?" he asked, giving me his crooked grin as his mouth moved back to capture mine.
I laced my arms around his neck, pulling him down on top of me. I was greedily pushing my pelvis against his bulging manhood.
"Easy, easy, baby," he breathed, kissing my lips again and again softly.
"Let's take our time, okay?"
Trey sat back on his haunches, pulling me up into a sitting position, raising my arms above my head so that he could slip my nightgown up and over my head. I hadn't bothered with panties so I was fully naked with him.
He lifted me as he positioned himself on his back, settling me down on him, my sex resting against his abdomen. I could feel that I was totally wet down there already.
His fingers plied my sex, his thumb pressing the outside while he inserted two fingers to gently rub the inside beneath my pubic bone. The warmth spread through me causing me to tingle in anticipation of my release.
My hands were all over him; pulling him closer to me. I wanted him buried inside of me right now.
"I love you, Trey." I whimpered, lowering myself against his chest, wrapping my arms around him.
For some strange reason, tears were pouring down my cheeks.
(What is this about?)
Trey was kissing my lips and felt the wetness of my tears as they rolled down my cheeks. He raised himself up, into a sitting position, staring at me intently.
"Baby, what's wrong?" he asked, totally confused.
"I'm not sure. I just know that I love you so much and maybe I have not been conveying that properly to you these past several weeks. I feel like I've neglected you," I wailed.
He immediately sat up, pulling me with him.
(Great! The first time we're cleared for sex and I fuck it up with my outrageous hormones!)
I was on his lap; he had his arms wrapped around me tightly, rocking me back and forth. I was sobbing. I think perhaps the "baby blues" I had read about in my "Now You're a Mother" book were showing their ugly head.
"Sweetie you've not neglected me at all, okay? I'm so proud of what a great mother you are to our baby; you're going to be a fantastic wife and lover to me as well. This is all new to you, Tylar. I can see how much Preston loves you; the way she can't take her eyes off of
you whenever you're in the room. You are a wonderful mother. I feel like I've expected too much from you. I'm sorry, really sorry. I've been selfish, I know."
"But Trey; I wanted this evening to be special and now I've ruined it with my tears. I'm sorry I even suggested we wait until our wedding night. That should have been something that we discussed together not just something I wanted. Let's get back to it," I said, brushing the tears from my cheeks.
"No...no baby. How about just you and me cuddle for now. We just need to feel close in a non-sexual way. I think I've put a lot of pressure on you these past few weeks. I need to feel close to you but it certainly doesn't require sex in order for that to happen."
Trey got up and put a pair of boxers on. He returned to our bed. He scooped me up in his arms and cradled me. He gently ran his fingers along my cheekbone, planting soft kisses on my cheeks. He murmured his love for me, kissing my ear lobes, and brushing his lips across mine gently. He pulled the sheet up over us, wrapping his arm around me protectively as we relaxed and drifted off to sleep.
Sometime later I awoke; I heard Preston fussing nearby. I felt Trey rise up, leaving our bed and lifting her out of her bassinet, talking softly and soothingly to her. He brought her into bed with us. I rolled to my side. Still naked, I didn't have to worry about pulling my gown up or down.
Trey placed her on her side next to me and helped her locate my nipple so that she could latch onto it to nurse. Within moments, she was nestled against me, sucking my breast contentedly. Preston and I fell asleep in Trey's protective arms, comfortably ensconced in our family bed.