Love Notes

Chapter 42-Charlie



I wake up feeling like I have been run over by a freight train. I hear a knock on the door and see Shelby peek her head in. “How do you feel honey?” Well that was a loaded question if I ever heard one. “Truthfully, I don't feel good at all. How does the face look?” I ask. “Honestly, Charlie it looks awful.

“If you need me I will leave my number on the fridge. Call if you want to talk any time today.” Shelby turns to leave.

“Shelby?” I holler. “Yeah hon?” “I just want to say thank you. For everything.”

“Charlie, no thanks are needed, okay? But if it makes you feel better. You're welcome.”

No sooner do I lay back down, than Tori comes prancing in. “Do you need me to stay home with you?”

“Naw, I'll be fine, but thank you. The question is, will you be okay doing the program with Maverick tonight?” I ask her.

Tori starts laughing, “That's right, we weren't expecting him to be back and we’re singing a girly song. Well, if that isn't pay back I don't know what is. Okay, now I can't help it, because really this is rich.”

“Um, Tori,” I say. “He doesn't even know we changed the song.”

“Oh ye of little faith. Do not fear, he will by the end of class. I still want you to come to the performance tonight though. Just think what pleasure you will receive by watching him do this.” And with that said, she walks out laughing.

I lay back down and can't help but chuckle. It hurts though. Any movement of my face hurts. Ugh, I need sleep. I still haven't processed everything, but I did wake thinking about Maverick and everything Tori had told me last night. Of course, I still feel the pain from my parents. I will feel that forever I'm sure. I hope it will fade some eventually, but in some small way, I know it will always be there. All I know, is that I am beginning to see things so much clearer.

The more I think about this, the more I need to get up and get an Advil to help cut the pain of my face. I take a pit stop to the bathroom and decide I’m going to avoid looking at myself, but then something tells me to look. That I really need to see.

I decide to listen. As I look in the mirror, I take in the hand print that’s very visible on my face. It’s faded a little, but is still evident, as well as a little swelling, but thank goodness not anywhere near as bad as it had been last night. And perhaps, with a little bit of camouflaging make up, it will not be nearly as noticeable. After all, it will be dark in the auditorium and you shouldn't be able to tell.

I look beyond everything and for the first time, finally begin to see myself. Not what my parents see, but really start to see me. The more I look, looking past the bruise itself, the more I can see that I’m actually kind of pretty. I'm not saying that I had an epiphany all of a sudden and think I’m hot. Not at all. I'm just saying, I finally found something in myself, that I’d never seen before. I didn't see the same Charlie. I found a new and improved Charlie. One I really need to get to know a whole lot better.