Absolutely Unforgivable

chapter 8 - Caught

After Jeromy went to work I made my way to my bathroom to shower and get ready for the day. While I don't normally wear a lot of makeup when I was just lounging around the house for the day, for some reason today I found myself trying to mimic what the lady from the night before had done. It didn’t look anywhere near as nice as when she had made up my face, but still I tried.

I made my way over to my closet to find something to wear. I grabbed a dress off of the rack and put it up to my body, wondering if I would look hot in it. I sighed realizing what I was doing was stupid. I had the absolutely perfect man. I couldn’t go around lusting after his best friend, someone he had grown up with. Who cares if Billy thinks I’m hot. It’s wrong and I have to stop doing this. I have to stop thinking about Billy.

When I came back to my senses I grabbed a pair of shorts, a favorite pair that were super comfy. I threw on a white t-shirt and another pair of my favorite white Polo socks. It didn’t matter what I looked like. Jeromy was at work and I had nobody here to impress.

I made my way back to the kitchen to help Billy clean up after breakfast and to apologize for not getting to finish his wonderful meal. But when I got down there he was gone and the kitchen was spotless. Looking around I didn’t see Billy anywhere. Just then Kita entered the room carrying a large basket of clothes and another small basket on top of that one.

I grabbed the small basket, wanting to help, and followed her as she led me to Billy’s room. It was the only part of the house I had not been in before. This was Billy’s true private sanctuary. It was a place that nobody ever went, besides Kita, apparently. This was his space, his escape from the troubles of the world around him.

I paused for just a moment at the door, not sure if I should go in. Shaking off my fears, I carefully walked into the room. It was a big, airy room, full of light that streamed in through a tall window set in the far wall. This room was larger than the two bedroom hotel Jeromy and I had been living in back in Oklahoma. There were heavy, dark velvet curtains on either side of the windows. Windows that arched to the top and made of warm, sand-colored stone that matched the paint in the rest of the room.

The bed was an oversized, overstuffed bed that had to be custom-made, and that was as wide as two king-sized beds put together. I eyed it wanting more than anything to just throw down the basket of clothes and jump on it like a child.

Kita took the large basket of clothes into a massive closet in one corner of the room. It was a bigger than mine and unlike mine his was well organized; all of his shirts hung straight and perfect, and even color coordinated.

I sat the smaller basket down near to her and stepped back, taking in more of the room. At the far end of the room I noticed he had his own sitting room with custom-built bookshelves that lined one wall. There was a comfortable looking chair, near a small table with several books on it. There were also some lyric journals on the table. This must be where he wrote his songs.

My eyes made their way back to that big bed. I don’t know what came over me but I just had to lie on it. I guess I had to see if it was as comfortable as it looks. I jumped in the bed and lay on my back with my feet in the air and I continued to chat with Kita who was still in Billy’s closet putting away his clothes.

His bedroom was really nice. It wasn’t anything like I had pictured it would be. It was so comfortable and cozy. The bed hadn’t been made up yet so the soft Egyptian cotton sheets were exposed. They smelled fresh as if they had come straight from the laundry. This bed was like a little piece of heaven, it was so warm and inviting.

I closed my eyes, stretching my legs up over my head, still speaking to Kita about what an amazing job she does keeping up with such a big house when I heard it. Billy was standing in the door, clearing his throat. In a moment of panic I jumped up but not off of the bed. He was standing there in a grey tank top, hot and sweaty. His hair was wonderfully messy. He pushed the bottom of his shirt up high enough to wipe the sweat from his eyes and dry his brow before taking a careful look around his room.

He looked back at me, now standing on his bed, with the corner of his lip curling up in a soft smile and tilted his head up to nod a greeting to me, “Hey.” I didn’t know what to say back so I just gave him a “hey” in return. I bit the bottom of my lip to suppress a giggle.

He walked over to his bed and put his arms up for me and lifted me off of the bed. Holding me tightly against his body I slowly slid down, while looking into his eyes. His raw, manly scent invaded my senses as I felt his muscles flex around me. As he pulled me near him with his strong arms, I could hear the beat of his heart. His virility was almost more than I could take. There was something truly irresistible about this man. Something strong; and at the same time beneath the surface you could sense a vulnerability. I think maybe that is what I find so fascinating about him. I want to access those raw emotions that surge underneath.

Once my feet hit the floor, he relaxed and took a deep breath, which accentuated the muscled indentations of his well-defined abs. My entire body tingled and my head spun. I couldn’t take his eyes off of his face. I became mesmerized by the shape of lips, the sexy way they curved. He was scrumptious. I watched as his eyes went to my lips and then he looked back at my eyes and then back to my lips. There was a heat to his gaze that set my entire body ablaze with desire.

The air around us was sexually charged and it practically sizzled with longing. I never felt anything like this in my life. Billy oozed sexuality from every fiber of his being. I was drawn to him in a way I’ve never been drawn to any man before.

But then just when I didn’t think I could stand it anymore, he took a step back and ran his fingers through his hair. His thick eyebrows hung low over his eyes giving him that naturally brooding look. So sexual, so sensual. His eyes narrowed as they studied mine. His beautiful pouty smile gone from his face I started to say, “I um ...”

I struggled, trying to find the right thing to say. Trying to find a way to explain why I had so rudely invaded his personal and private space. Just then Kita walked out of the closet, empty clothes baskets in hand. She looked over to Billy and spoke. “Thank you Miss Stacy. I appreciate your help, Miss Stacy. You are a sweet girl, Miss Stacy.”

I looked back at Billy as I followed Kita out of the room, then put my head down and left him alone, in his room, a place I know I should have never gone without an invitation.

I was horribly embarrassed by it all. I blushed and felt foolishly tongue-tied. I just wanted to get the whole ordeal out of my mind, so I decided to go change into a bikini and lie out by the pool. Maybe getting a nice tan will block it all out.

I fell asleep in the warmth of the sun and began to dream about Billy. In my dream all I was able to think about his how warm his skin felt against mine when he held me in his arms. I leaned in to kiss him. His mouth was soft, his kiss fervent. I put my hand under his shirt, feeling his muscles tense as I touched him.

His breathing grew heavy. He pressed his forehead to mine and let out a long, slow breath. He pulled back, licked his lips, while his gaze brushed over my entire body like he was going to eat me alive.

Sexual tension hung heavy in the air as he closed the distance between our bodies. We stood still for just a moment, trading ragged breaths. He reached up and brushed a piece of hair that had fallen in my face.

Then I felt my body started to shake and a heavy hand on my arm. Someone was shaking me and softly saying my name. It was Billy. He had come out to wake me up before I got burned by the intense rays of the sun beating down on me from above.

“Hey. You better turn over before you get burned.”

I glanced down and realized where I was and that all that just happened was but a dream. I looked at my half-naked body and jumped up to grab a towel and cover myself but stopped when I saw Billy’s face. It was different. Billy had cleaned up but not shaved. He still rocking his sexy five o’clock shadow. I looked up and noticed that today he actually styled his hair upwards. That was what had changed. I hadn’t seen it like that before. I liked it.

“Heading out for the night?” I asked while checking out his new look.

“Yeah. We are playing a gig at a bar downtown.”

Jeromy called while you were ... napping,” he said as looked over at me and a grin came over his face, “and said he would be late tonight. You gonna be okay here by yourself for a while?”

“Yeah, no. I’m fine. I’ll just ...” I looked around trying to quickly think of something I could do “I’ll just watch a movie or something.”

“The girls are all going to be at the club if you want to come hang with me tonight.”

I looked down at my body, covered in baby oil. “No, I couldn’t. It would take me too long to get ready and you have to go.”

“They can’t exactly start without me, you know.”

I shook my head and started to say no thank you but Billy stood up and threw me over his shoulder. I screamed demanding he put me down. But he didn’t listen. Instead he just walked us over to the pool casually and jumped in. He submerged us both and then we I popped my head up front under the water, slapping him on the shoulder. “How could you?”

He just grinned and said, “Eh. Now we both need to get ready.”

I went upstairs to wash the mix of chlorine, baby oil and sweat off of my immensely dirty body. While I was in the shower my mind flashed to Billy and then to Jeromy. Billy really was a great friend to Jeromy. He not only took us into his home when Jeromy got his new job but here he was willing to be late for his gig so that he could take care of me. A wave of guilt washed over me. Here I was lusting after this incredibly sweet guy who was only trying to be a good friend to Jeromy. What is wrong with me?

One of the great features of my new bathroom besides the much-appreciated heated tile floors was the built in docking station for my iPhone. I plugged it in and the sound echoed loudly throughout the whole room.

Thinking I was completely alone, I turned it up and sang along with the music as I put on my makeup. I really liked a variety of music and would listen to anything from classic rock to grunge to top 40 pop. The only thing I didn’t really like was rap or maybe jazz.

This time I was playing Call me Maybe. It had a fast beat and I began dancing around the bathroom dancing and singing the song. Luckily I had gotten dressed before because standing in my door watching me dance around like a fool was Billy. I stumbled trying to quickly turn down the music.

“Don’t stop on my account,” he said with a devilish grin on his face. My entire body turned red.

He crossed his arms as he eyed me up and down carefully. “You know you really do have a great voice, Stacy.” As he sat on my bathroom counter a new song started playing. I stood in front of him and started singing along. At the chorus I broke off in a laugh.

“You are so silly, Stacy. You ready to head out?” I glanced over at the clock on the wall and saw it was nearly 4:00. I didn’t realize how long it had taken me to get ready.

I grabbed my lip gloss and threw it in my bag as we walked out the door. Jeromy had texted me while I was in the shower to let me know there was some money in the top dresser drawer and he wanted to make sure I was going to take some with me. I hated taking money like that from Jeromy but I hated being all the way downtown without any money even more, so I as Billy made his way downstairs, I quickly opened it up, grabbed a few of the twenties and made my way downstairs just behind him.

This was the first time I had taken a ride in Billy’s black Dodge Charger. It was a really hot car and matched him well. It was sleek and sexy like him. He put his guitar in the trunk and then opened the door for me to get in the passenger side.

The ride downtown was long and hectic. Houston had so much traffic and it was something I still wasn’t used to. As we raced down the highway my stomach turned in knots just watching all the cars. Luckily we were heading downtown while most people were headed the other way. Those headed north at that time of the day were stuck in miles and miles of traffic. It was horrible, nauseating even.


Billy could tell I was anxious being in so much congested traffic and he put his hand on top of mine and gently stroked it to try and calm me down. It helped some but still by the time we finally made it to the bar I was fit to be tied.

Mindy and Bran had arrived about the same time we did and as they approached the car Mindy bounced over to me, and jumped into my arms for a hug. “I’m so glad you are here tonight with us. We are going to have so much fun.”

We walked into the bar together and made our way over to where Darla and Starla were sitting with Travis who was already several shots in, which was evident by all of the empty shot glasses that lay before him. When I sat down at the band’s table, I noticed a man in an expensive suit come over to greet Billy and Bran at the door. The exchanged seemed friendly but Billy had a sour look on his face after.

I turned to Mindy to see if she knew what the problem might be but she shrugged like she had had no idea. Starla, however, did know. She leaned across the table, giving those behind her, including Travis, a nice look up her tight leather skirt as she told us that he was the manager and just wanted to make sure that the boys stuck to their agreement.

Their agreement? I flashed a glance over to Mindy but she looked just as clueless as I. Starla continued, “You know, to sing at least one cover song for every original.”

“Ohhh,” Mindy said while glancing over to Bran and Billy who were now headed towards us.

I didn’t understand what they were talking about but as Starla sat back down next to Travis, Mindy explained. Billy and the boys like to do their own original songs but some venues, like this one, require them to do a mix of both original and cover songs. It’s silly really, why hire a band that played bad original music? But it’s just what some places do to ensure the crowd gets a good mix of music they are used to and that is popular.


Billy didn’t look happy about it. I had seen them cover songs before at Rowdy’s but to be forced into having to do so many in a set seemed to be what was bothering Billy about it tonight.


We all downed a few shots and then the boys headed to the stage. The set started off with Nickelback’s Rockstar, which then led into Linkin Park’s Numb. By now the crowd had started to get a little worked up. They loved the band but then again, it was hard not to.


They played a few more songs before taking their first break of the night. Just before their last song. Mindy and I made our way over to the bar and grabbed the boys a bucket of beer so it would be ready for them when they got back to the table. When he finished Billy took the seat next to me. He cocked his head to the side, looking at me and then back at the beer. “Did you ....?”


“Yeah, I thought you might be thirsty when you got off the stage so Mindy and I went to get it for you.” He looked over to Mindy and she lifted her hands and shrugged her shoulders. He turned back to me, smiled, and took a beer.


Unlike before Billy didn’t ask me what I thought of their first set. So I leaned in and told him how much I loved it. He just shook his head. Without thinking about it, I put my hand on his leg and gently scratched the top of his thigh through his jeans. He seemed to really like it and perked up.


I couldn’t help but start laughing to myself, thinking about how Billy jumped in the pool with me over his shoulder. That boy does know how to get his way. He arched an eyebrow and gave me a look, no doubt wondering what I thought was so funny but I didn’t respond. I just shook my head.


After drinking his beer, I ordered the table a round of shots. Everyone enjoyed them except Billy. He said he had to be careful about what he drank tonight since he had to get me home safely. It was really sweet and for some reason knowing he was there to take care of me allowed me to relax and enjoy myself more. So I drank not only my own shot but also his.


He leaned in and whispered in my ear, “I think you’ll like this next set.” He didn’t explain what he meant but he had a grin on his face as he walked onto the stage. This time Patrick, who I had barely even noticed was there that night, had put a bar stool on the stage for Billy to lean against.


Billy didn’t seem to pay it any mind at first. He just leaned into the microphone and began singing as he normally did. His eyes were hauntingly sad as he sang, “Nothing lasts forever. I can’t bring you back to me. Life must go on.”


It was one of their original songs. It could easily be mistaken for a love song but I suspected it was about the death of his parents. He looked out in the crowd as he sang the song but he didn’t lock eyes with them like he normally did. Instead it was just like he was seeing through them. Watching him on stage sing that song, in the way that he did make chills go up my spine and I felt tears start to form in my eyes.


But just as quickly as the song had begun it was over and he perked right back up as if none of that had ever happened. I was so deep in thought about what had just taken place I didn’t hear the beat of the next song they began playing. Billy took the microphone off of the stand, something he rarely did, and started walking offstage, while singing the first words of Jessie’s Girl.


He’s coming my way isn’t he? Oh God no, please don’t let this be happening. I looked around me, desperately wanting to find something or someone that he might be singing to that wasn't me. Mindy started squealing in excitement and pushed me out of my chair as Billy made his way over to me.


He grabbed my hand and dragged me on stage with him before we got to the chorus. I turned toward Patrick and he threw the tambourine my way while Billy put the microphone back on the stand.


I slowly shook my hips and swayed side to side as he sang away, facing the crowd but still tilting his head towards me and as he got to the chorus. Just like before, I leaned in and sang it with him.


I never turned to face the crowd because if I had, I am sure I would have frozen in fear. Even with the several drinks I already had in me, I was still far too shy to be able to handle that many people looking up at me. This bar was much bigger than Rowdy’s, easily double in size and it was packed to the brim.


As the song ended Billy grabbed my free hand and lifted it above my head. “Everyone meet Stacy Keller. She is our little superstar.” He leaned over and kissed me on the forehead and the crowd let out a collective “Awww”.


Next Billy pulled the bar stool over to him and leaned against it. He lowered the microphone stand so that it was now even with his face and he put his arm around my waist and pulled me into him. This time the song was much slower. It wasn’t one I had heard before but by the cheers of the crowd I could tell they had.


“I need you right here by my side. I need you in my life. I feel like I am dreaming. You are the one. You haunt my dreams. It kills me to see you with him. I need you right here by my side.” It was a rock song, no doubt, but still it was passionate and heartfelt.


After Billy finished the song, he leaned in as if he was going to kiss me right there on stage in front of everywhere. My heart began to race wildly, and my hands started to shake. I panicked and turned my head to face the crowd and he reached up and kissed my forehead instead.

He finally released me and I made my way back to an anxiously waiting Mindy. “Did you know he was going to do that?” I demanded to know. She just giggled and shook her head ”no”.

After I sat back down the boys played a few more of their original songs and the crowd loved it. They really were amazing. One of two of them you could easily see being played on the radio. Just before their second set was about to end, again I went to the bar and grabbed the boys a bucket of beer.

Billy plopped down in the spot next to me, took a long neck beer from the bucket on the table and then leaned in to whisper in my ear, “You take good care of me”.

“Well someone has to,” I playfully bantered back.

Soon after an upbeat song came on the jukebox. After downing a shot Zander came around behind me and took me by the hand to dance with him. Travis and his harem soon followed. Zander was a really sweet guy. Always polite and well meaning. He was probably one of my favorite guys in the band, besides Billy of course.

After far, far too many drinks I somehow made my way to Billy’s car. The details of the walk to the car are a little fuzzy but I vaguely seem to recall Zander helping Billy carry me and gently place me in the passenger seat. Billy pulled a blanket out of his trunk and then put it over me, tucking me in tightly to make sure I stayed warm for the long drive home.

I don’t recall any of the drive back to The Woodlands but I do remember waking up just enough to know I was in Billy’s arms and he was carrying me to bed. After laying me on the bed he went and got a wet rag to put on my forehead. I must have been complaining to him that I was hot, as I began trying to rip off my clothes and get under the sheets.

I tossed and turned a bit before finally falling asleep but not before opening up my eyes just barely enough to see Billy still there, sitting on my bed, making sure I was okay and fully asleep before heading back to his own room, alone.

When I woke up the next morning I reached over to grab Jeromy’s chest as I did almost every morning. But he was not there. His side of the bed was exactly as it was the night before. He didn’t come home last night. I was terribly saddened by this revelation and couldn’t understand what would have possibly kept him away for so long.

He had told me countless times that his work was only a short drive from where we were living so why couldn’t he make it home after he finished doing whatever it was he was doing? Even if it was late.

Next my mind started to wander to thoughts of the night before, on how I had gotten home and of Billy putting me to bed. I had half convinced myself it was all just a crazy dream when I looked over on the nightstand and seen the rag he had placed on my head.

The rest of the band was out living the life of a rock star, partying it up after the gig but not Billy, he came home to be with me, to take care of me. His kindness overwhelmed my heart. He really was a good friend to Jeromy. I felt horrible about lusting after him so much before. I really need to find a way to control my feelings. But Billy made it so hard to resist him. He was so handsome and powerful to look at but it was his kindness that attracted me most. When you met Billy you couldn’t help but be drawn in by his looks, but he was more than just a pretty package. The more time you spent with him, the more you trusted him completely and saw what a truly caring person he really was.

As I pranced my way down the stairs I heard voices coming from the living room. “She is f*cking off-limits man. What the f*ck are you thinking? Consider that body a no f*cking fly zone.”

I could hear Billy mumble something in response but I couldn’t tell what it was. Not wanting them to think I was spying on them, I purposely stepped louder on the last few steps so they knew I was coming. When I took a step in the kitchen I saw it was Travis that had been talking so loudly. I looked around to see his harem but they were nowhere to be found. I guess it was still too early for Darla and Starla to be out of bed yet.

Billy titled his head up and gave me his usual, “Hey.”

But Travis, on the other hand, didn’t know how to be so subtle. “Holy f*ck, girl. You know how to make a good boy go bad.” He looked my body up and down as he spoke, making wide, animated gestures with his hands. While I had clothes on, Travis still had a way of making me feel like I was buck naked standing there with him in the kitchen.

I rolled my eyes at his rude comments, not even bothering to verbally address him. I wanted to say something to him about it, but I figured if I tried it would only encourage him to keep going so instead I stayed silent and walked over to Billy who was standing by the sink, leaning against the counter drinking coffee.

I looked over at the empty stove top behind him and turned back to Billy and gave him a frown. “No breakfast this morning?”

He looked up to me, “No, sorry. Been a little distracted this morning.”

I leaned into him and asked, “Want me to toast you a bagel?”

He didn’t look at me; he just kept looking down to the ground like he was deep in thought and shook his head “No.”

“Okay, your loss,” I said playfully as I walked over to the bread box and pulled out the bag of fresh bagels.

Just as I finished the last bite the rest of the band came into the house. They were loud and there was no mistaking their arrival. Today they seemed especially wound up. Billy and Travis went to join them and they headed to his studio.