Absolutely Unforgivable

chapter 4 - Rowdy’s

I had gotten at least an hour of sleep before Jeromy sat on the bed beside me and woke me up. He gently nudged me. “Stacy, are you awake?” I looked up at him groggily and then gave him a half smile.

“What do you think about going out? Billy’s band is playing tonight and I thought maybe you would want to go and meet the rest of the gang.”

I pulled his face down to mine and kissed him. “Sure. That sounds good to me.” I kissed Jeromy again and then stroked his arm as he moved his lips to my neck. I closed my eyes as he lightly ran his tongue up my throat. My heart sped at his touch and I moaned lightly.

But then I heard a soft tap at the door. “You guys ready?”

Jeromy jumped up and I quickly looked down to make sure I was still fully dressed. When Jeromy was around my clothes had a way of disappearing. Jeromy opened the door slightly and Billy cocked his head charmingly to the side as he checked me out as I laid on the bed. I pulled the bedspread over my body.

“Yeah, man, give us a minute,” Jeromy told him as he grabbed the door. “Stacy will need a few girlie minutes, if you don’t mind.”

Billy gave a light chuckle and told us to take our time; that we still had another hour before we had to leave. I jumped up and went to my new luxuriously large closet to try and find something to wear. I started to feel nervous. What do people in this city wear? My clothes suddenly felt so plain and boring. I wished I had taken Jeromy up on his offer of a shopping spree before we left Oklahoma. I sighed and grabbed a simple black dress out of the closet and some matching black platform heels.

I put on some makeup and did my best to fix my hair. I worried what the others would think of me. I know I shouldn’t, but it’s hard not to sometimes. I stared at myself in the mirror and I could feel the anxiety start to set in. What was wrong with me tonight? What do I even care what the people I don’t even know think of me?

I put some glitter above my eyes and then across my chest and I walked back into the bedroom where Jeromy was patiently waiting. I went over and stood in between his legs and leaned in to kiss him. Then he stood up, took me by the hand, and led me downstairs where Billy was waiting for us. He greeted us with a huge smile on his face as we came down hand in hand.

Billy eyed me up and down, locking his gaze on my face. “Well, don’t you clean up nice?”

I reached up and touched my hair. Oh God, did I really look that bad before? I could feel heat filling my cheeks. I gave Billy a smile and then put my head back down as Jeromy led me to the car.

When we got outside I noticed his familiar Hummer wasn’t in the driveway. I looked up at him curiously. I had just assumed that Jeromy had shipped his precious Hummer down with the rest of our belongings, but much to my surprise sitting in the driveway was a completely different car. For a moment I thought his Hummer hadn’t arrived and this was just one of Billy’s cars, but instead he said, “What do you think of your new car Stacy?”

“What?” What did he mean, my new car? This I loved. It was an actual car, unlike the monster he drives. This is a white convertible BMW with black leather interior. It was a beautiful sight. But I didn’t understand what he was saying to me.

I looked up at Jeromy with a confused look on my face. He bent down and kissed my forehead and handed me the keys, his eyes were sparkling with excitement. “I bought this for you. A housewarming gift.”

I felt tears forming in my eyes as I jumped into his arms. I couldn’t believe he had bought me such an extravagant gift. I wanted to protest but I knew Jeromy, it would do no good. He gives and he gives. That’s just his way ... his wonderful, wonderful way. It was as if he derived his own happiness from the joy he brought to others. I loved that about Jeromy, but sometimes he was so kind and so unbelievable, it made me feel like I wasn’t worthy of all that he gives me. He just gives me so much and it makes me wonder what I ever did to deserve someone as absolutely perfect as he is. But when those insecurities came creeping in I did my best to push them aside as quickly as possible, like right now. Today isn’t a day to question our relationship; it’s a day to celebrate all that I have with him.

Jeromy lifted me up and hugged me tightly. When he sat me back down on the ground he grabbed the keys and playfully said, “But tonight I’m driving.” We got into the car and followed Billy to the bar.

We turned into the parking lot of a shopping center. The marquee above the bar read Rowdy’s. I was a little disappointed we had arrived so quickly. I was enjoying the ride in my beautifully perfect new car. My shiny, new convertible BMW. I still could barely believe it was mine. I was still so caught up in the thought of my new car, I had almost forgotten about the people I was coming to meet. Billy and Jeromy met up in the parking lot and started to head into the bar together while I followed just behind them.

Rowdy’s was bigger than the bar I had worked in, back home in Oklahoma. To the right was a counter that was the full length of the building. To the left was a stage where they already had their equipment set up. Near the stage was a long table where the band and their closest friends gathered. Jeromy grabbed my hand and pulled me forward to meet everyone. I squeezed his hand. My stomach turned in knots.

“Oh my God! You must be Stacy! I’m so glad to finally meet you. I’m Mindy!” She was a perky blonde girl with dark brown eyes, and thinly plucked eyebrows that were shaped into a deceivingly perfect arch. She had tiny arms, velvety soft skin and a paper-thin waste that screamed of unnatural skinniness. When she pulled away from me, I noticed she had a huge smile on her face, as if she was genuinely excited to meet me.

I turned my head toward Billy, wondering if he would explain who she was, but he didn’t at first. He paused for a moment and then realizing his mistake, he leaned into me and said, “That’s Bran’s old lady.” He pointed across the table to where Bran was sitting. Mindy bounced back over to him and sat on the corner of his chair. He put one arm across her leg and with the other picked up his beer, tilted his head and lifted his beer up, as to acknowledge our arrival.

“Hey man. Good to see you again,” he shouted across the table to Jeromy. Jeromy gave him the same sort of acknowledgement. As Jeromy cocked his head back, I noticed a table of girls next to him checking him out, whispering and pointing. You would think by now I would be used to the attention that Jeromy draws from other females, but I quite honestly wasn’t. And now with Billy and him together, they seemed to be drawing quite a crowd of giggling girls. I did my best to ignore it and instead focus on meeting Billy’s other friends.

Bran was the drummer, I thought, trying to remind myself who was who. Sitting next to Bran was Zander, the lead guitarist. I recognized his messy hair. He looked exactly like his picture. Sitting across the table from Zander was Travis. He was speaking to a heavy set man with a goatee. “That’s Brick,” Billy said as he pointed to him. “He runs our website and makes our videos for YouTube.”

I glanced back over to Travis as I noticed two women fawning over him. They looked similar, with long bleach blonde hair, a clearly fake suntan, long nails with bright pink polish, and matching bright pink lipstick.

Mindy popped back up next to me and took my hand. “Come on, let me introduce you to Darla and Starla.” I immediately knew who she was talking about. The girls did look so much alike; it only made sense that they were related. They didn’t look enough like each other to be actual twins, so I surmised that they were just sisters.

But as it turned out, Darla and Starla weren’t sisters at all. They just happened to have similar names and looked alike. It was their similarities that had drawn them together as friends, they would later tell me.

Surprisingly, the bar wasn’t too loud and having a conversation with the others was easy. That was, until it was time for the band to play. Billy was the last to take the stage and when he did the crowds let out a loud roar. I sat down next to Jeromy, positioned perfectly near the stage so I could see the show.

Billy was superb, he really commanded the stage. Countless half-dressed women leapt to their feet and began shouting as Billy sang one song after another. He had such energy, such presence. It was hard to take your eyes off of him. At the end of their set, the band left the stage to uproarious applause and cheers.

As they made their way back to our table, they passed several girls waiting for their attention. While the other men seemed to revel in it, Billy didn’t. Instead he came back and sat down next to Jeromy and I, and the two began a conversation about sports and going to see a Houston Texans football game in the fall. It was strange, really. It was as if he didn’t realize the line of women standing by the stage who were waiting for him, dying to get even a second glance.

Billy was nothing like I had imagined him to be. I assumed he would be your stereotypical rock god with women falling all over him, which they were, but I expected him to love every minute of it and have a new bimbo every night. Although I had just met him, he didn’t seem anything like that at all. I was pleasantly surprised. But then again, maybe he was just putting on a good face since it was our first night in town.

As Jeromy went up to the bar to get us another round of beers, Billy slid over into his chair to sit next to me. “So what did you think?” he asked as he nodded towards the stage.

“Oh, you were fine,” I said to him nervously and then quickly looked away. This was the first time we had really spoken alone. I didn’t know why he intimidated me so much, but he really did.

“Fine?” he said, sounding almost offended. “I was hoping for a little more than fine.”

“No, no. I didn’t mean it like that,” I pleaded. “Really I didn’t. You guys were great. I’m so sorry.” My face was turning several shades of red.

Billy laughed it off and started to get up as Jeromy came back but Jeromy said, “No, man, stay seated; I’ll take this one,” and pointed to the chair next to me. He kissed my forehead and took the empty chair on the other side of me. “Miss me?” he purred into my ear.

“I did, very much so,” I said to him as I leaned in to kiss him.

“So what did you think of the band?” Jeromy asked me, while handing me my new beer.

“Yeah Stacy, what did you think of the band?” Billy said sarcastically behind me.

“I thought they were amazing. Billy really knows how to work the crowd.”

“We aren’t all of that. We were just … fine was it?” I turned to face Billy as he said it with a smirk on his face.

Billy leaned in and asked Jeromy, “So, have you told her yet?”

“No, I think she still needs a few more beers in her first.”

Billy hadn’t exactly been quiet about saying it and when he did everyone around the table laughed. They all seemed to be in on it. Whatever it was. I wondered what the heck they were talking about, but as I looked around nobody seemed to be willing to tell me.

Billy waved over the waitress. She was a beautiful brunette with lots of curly dark brown hair and soft brown eyes. Her long legs stuck out in the small, tight black mini skirt she wore. The waitress had a worried look on her face and I knew exactly what it meant. I had worked at a bar long enough to know that when regulars started ordering rounds of shots they were going to get rowdy. Rowdy … ha, I get it now. Rowdy’s. I laughed to myself as I realized what the name of the bar meant.

“To Jeromy and Stacy!” Billy shouted as he lifted up his shot glass and then downed it. Everyone at the table repeated, “To Jeromy and Stacy!” I drank my own shot and within a few minutes the waitress returned with another. By the time I had my third shot I was definitely feeling more relaxed and by the fifth shot, I was feeling wonderful.

So wonderful that it didn’t bother me in the slightest that across the table Travis was doing shots off of Darla and Starla’s breasts. Okay maybe it bothered me some. He noticed me looking at him, cocked his head up and said, “Want some?” God he’s an ass. I averted my eyes and turned my attention back to Jeromy and Billy, who at that time were looking at me with a sort of conspiratorial grin across their adorably sexy faces.

Billy started to get up. “It’s that time again.” He motioned for the sound guy and he quickly made his way over to us and handed Billy a tambourine.

“Know what this is?” he asked.

“Ummm yeah. It’s a tambourine,” I answered cautiously. I glanced over to Jeromy and he had a grin on his beautiful face, but he didn’t say a word. Instead he just watched me carefully as Billy continued to address me.

“See, we have this thing around here. If you are going to hang with us, you are going to have to pass initiation. You gotta show us that you can really handle it.”

I furrowed my brow as I looked at him. Initiation? What the heck was he talking about? Billy didn’t tell me anything more; instead, he grabbed my hand and pulled me onto the stage with him. The rest of the band had already taken their places. As we got on the stage the crowd cheered.

When Travis strummed the first few notes of the song, the crowd went wild. Billy grabbed the microphone in one hand, while still holding on to me with his other. “My good friend Jeromy has recently moved back in town and he brought this hot piece of ass with him.” He squeezed me tightly, pulling me in closer to him.

He paused for a moment and the crowd let out a load roar. Billy lifted his hand trying to get them to settle down so he could continue to speak. While Billy addressed the audience of eager fans, Travis continued to strum out first part of the song. It was a familiar beat and it only took me a second to realize the song was Jessie’s Girl. It was a song I knew well. I loved it but I still didn’t get what I was doing on stage with them. Maybe this was it. Maybe he just wanted to see if he could embarrass me with this introduction.

As the band played on, Billy continued talking to the audience. He twirled me around with his one free arm. “What do you think?” There were lots of whoops and hollers coming from the crowd. My face flushed.

“Well, you all know what that means. If she’s going to hang with us she has to pass the test.”

Billy handed me the tambourine and the crowd let out a thunderous roar. He let go of my hand and leaned into the microphone while he locked his gaze onto mine. He sang the first words of the song softly, with a sexy, come hither look on his face. The crowd ate it up. The tempo picked up and he sang his heart out.

I hated being on stage; my face was red, and my stomach was twisted in knots. I thought about bolting for the door, I’m really not one for being the center of attention but then I turned towards Jeromy to see the biggest smile on his face and I decided to just go for it.

I looked back to Billy and then took a deep breath and focused only on him, trying my best to block everyone else out of my mind and I started to shake the tambourine like I knew what I was doing.

Then when Billy got to the chorus, he stuck out a hand and motioned for me to come up closer to him. Without thinking I walked over, then leaned into him and sang the three lines with him. Billy had turned back to face the crowd after the chorus and I stepped back for the next part of the song. He leaned into the microphone and softly sang the next few lines, in a softer more seductive voice.

I stood on the side of the stage, shaking my hips to the beat of the song along with the tambourine, just watching Billy in action. He really came alive when he was on stage. His eyes lit with excitement. He was truly amazing at what he did and the crowds seemed to love him too. They were at his feet, whistling, cheering, clapping and screaming their approval.

As the beat of the song picked up again I knew it was my cue to start shaking my thing again. I gave Billy a big smile and he reached up to grab my hand and pulled me towards him. As I sang the last part of the song with Billy, I could see a sparkle in his eyes that I had not noticed before. It caught me off guard. Billy was in his element when he was on stage. Billy was a rock star, even if only a local one.

When the song ended he put his hands around my waist and pulled me in towards him. “You are f*cking awesome. Jeromy is one lucky son of a bitch.”

I kissed him on the cheek and started to walk away. I was going back to sit next to Jeromy but as I tried to leave Billy pulled me back to him. He held me next to him with his arm around my waist, locking me in place. With his other hand he grabbed the microphone. I glanced out in the crowd, looking for Jeromy’s face, which still had his adorably wide grin on it so I knew he was okay with me being up on stage with Billy.

“You know, we don’t normally do this song but since tonight we have this pretty lady here to inspire me, I think it will be okay. You don’t mind, do you?”

I looked at Billy curiously as the crowd cheered him on. I wondered what song he was talking about. It started off with a slow beat and as I stood there wrapped in Billy’s arm I tried to figure out which song it was. It didn’t sound familiar. I wondered if it was one of their own. He loosened his grip on my waist but still didn’t let go as he softly sang, “When I first seen your picture, I knew that it was love at first sight. You stole my heart. You made me smile.”

Butterflies filled my stomach as our bodies swayed together with the beat of the music. At this point I had all but forgotten we were in a packed bar and my adoring boyfriend was sitting just feet away from us watching our every move. Billy had me completely captivated.

After the song ended, I stood there locked in an embrace with Billy, both of us staring into each other’s eyes. I bit my lip as I felt my entire body tingle. And then thankfully the crowd let out a thunderous roar, louder than they had been all night.

The loud noise shook me out of my daze and I turned my head to face the loud cheers and chants. The fans wanted more. Jeromy sat there watching us on stage and I worried if things had gone too far between Billy and me. Nothing had technically happened but still it was an intimate encounter, and inappropriate considering he was my boyfriend’s best friend.

But by the smile on Jeromy’s face I could tell he didn’t think of it as anything more than just an act, something we were doing for the crowd. But it wasn’t just all for show. There was something there. Electricity shot through my entire body when I was in Billy’s arms.

I took my seat next to Jeromy and he reached over to kiss me passionately. On the stage I heard Billy addressing the crowd again. “You ever loved somebody so much you could barely breathe when you are with them?”

I jerked my head around and shot my glare directly at him. He wasn’t talking about me was he? I put my hand on Jeromy’s leg and gently began rubbing his thigh, hoping desperately that what Billy was saying wasn’t about me or if it was, that Jeromy would be too distracted by the movement of my hand to notice.

When the crowds cheering died down just a bit Billy continued, “Well, this song isn’t about that.”

Oh thank God. I sighed in relief and then turned my attention back to Jeromy. I leaned in and gave him another kiss.

Bran started in hard with the drums and Billy screamed “AHHH YEAHHHH!” It was a fast beat rock song, another original. When he sang I noticed all the girls dancing around in delirium. The more the song went on, the more I thought girls were going to start throwing their panties at the stage.

As he screamed the last line of the song, “I want to f*ck your fine ass all night long,” I noticed he had locked eyes with a cute red head in the crowd. He walked over to her after the song ended and picked her up. She wrapped her legs around his waist and he started kissing her with a sort of frenzied desperation. That was the last we saw of Billy for the night.

◊

Jeromy and I made our way back home soon after and went right to bed. I rested comfortably in Jeromy’s arms. It really was the coziest bed I had ever been in. I quickly fell asleep but awoke not much later, as he was kissing my neck and then moved to my lips. “I love you,” he muttered. My heart quickened at his touch. I shifted my weight under him suggestively and a slow sexy smile spread across his face.

The next morning came all too soon. The bright light of the sun peered in through the windows and the big sliding glass door that led out to the terrace. I had forgotten to draw the drapes last night before going to bed. I groaned unhappily and I got out of bed and made my way to the bathroom. As I stood in the bathroom, I expected the tiles to be cold on my bare feet, but they were noticeably warm. Ahh, heated tiles. I had heard of heated tiles before on those home decorating shows, but I really had no idea how wonderful they really were until now.

I took a shower and then went into my luxurious closet to find something to put on. I grabbed a tank top and some boxer shorts and put my favorite pair of oversized, thick white Polo socks on my feet and made my way down the stairs towards the smell of bacon. Billy was standing in the kitchen making breakfast.

As I walked past the arched doors that led into the kitchen he gave me a nod and said, “Hey. How do you feel?”

“Like holy hell. Why did I do so many shots?” I groaned.

He let out a light-hearted laugh and pushed a drink towards me. “My sure fire hangover cure.” It looked a little bit like thick orange juice but by the way he warned me to drink it all fast to keep it down, I suspected it was anything but.

As I tried to force the concoction down my throat, I could taste something like a strange mix of tomato juice, carrots, 7Up, bananas and horseradish sauce. It was foul-smelling and tasted disgusting but he was right, it did make me feel better, and fast. Wow, that was impressive. He should bottle that stuff and sell it.

“Thank you,” I said shyly. Leaning across the bar, I eyed his plate of eggs and bacon and asked, “What’s that you have there?” He took a fork and immediately started twirling it in the eggs. He reached across the bar and put it to my lips. It was delicious. He was a great cook.

“Mmmm. Is that bacon?” I leaned over the counter to grab a piece.

He playfully pulled the plate away. “Oh no you don’t.”

I leaned in even more, locking my eyes on his said, “I thought roommates were supposed to share” as I grabbed a piece of bacon off of his plate and put it to my lips. I quickly sat back down on the bar stool and giggled. He gave me a huge smile in return and pushed the entire plate my way.

Just then Jeromy walked into the kitchen and kissed my forehead as he sat down next to me. While Billy and Jeromy exchanged pleasantries, I sat there wondering what the heck had just come over me. Why did I just say that? This isn’t like me. I’m not that kind of girl. Being near Billy seems to have some sort of strange effect on me. I can’t seem to think straight. Just being in his presence made my skin tingle and my breath quicken. I feel like a giggling schoolgirl around him.

Billy finished making Jeromy’s and his breakfast and as we sat around the bar eating Jeromy said “Last night was great,” and then gave me a glance. Billy no doubt thought he meant the show but I knew exactly what meant. I blushed with the memory.

“Yeah, man, we will have to do it again sometime,” Billy said to Jeromy and then turned to me. “Stacy, you were fantastic. I can’t tell you how many girls we have done that initiation with over the years and not a one of them took it like a champ like you did.”

“Oh God, please don’t remind me,” I said sheepishly, my face starting to redden.

Billy looked towards Jeromy, “You have yourself a hell of a girl there.”

“Yes I do,” Jeromy said as he leaned in to kiss me. I blushed and looked away. I love Jeromy and I loved how much he loved me even more, but I was also somewhat shy and I most definitely wasn’t used to public displays of affection.

I know Jeromy wished I would be more outgoing and confident, but it wasn’t easy for me. I’ve always been quiet and observant of others. I love to blend into the background and just watch what is going on around me. People watching fascinates me. But having others watch me makes my stomach turn. I really don’t like being the center of attention.

I am not even sure why. I think it’s because I grew up with two beautiful, very loud sisters who loved attention and always seemed to go out of their way to make sure they got it. That was hard to keep up with and I think, after a while, I just stopped trying. I became more studious and learned to enjoy the quieter things in life, like reading a good book, and let my sisters revel in the spotlight.