Absolutely Unforgivable

chapter 5 - New Life, New Clothes

After breakfast Jeromy said he wanted to take me shopping. I told him no. I didn’t feel comfortable about all of the money he has been spending on me lately. Of course I didn’t want to turn down free clothes, I mean really, who would? But I still felt bad, I didn’t want Jeromy to ever think that I was with him for his money or the things he bought me, because I wasn’t.

I really wanted to get a job and have my own spending money but Jeromy didn’t like that idea. He said he wanted me to take my time, get to know the city more and decide on what kind of job I wanted later on. Money was a sensitive subject with us. The more he gave me, the more I felt guilty about it. But as usual, I gave in and Jeromy and I were going shopping today.

Billy had told me that The Woodlands has its own little shopping mall, and I couldn’t wait to see what fun stores they had in there. When we arrived I quickly realized it was anything but little. It was the biggest mall I had ever been to, but Jeromy said that it really was a small mall in comparison to some of the others, like the Galleria, which covered over 2.4 million square feet of space. In comparison, The Woodlands mall was a mere 1.3 million square feet.

I sighed at the thought of the enormity of things, I see now where the saying everything is bigger in Texas comes from. I could barely believe it at times. Houston really was vastly different than Tulsa. I liked my new home. But already I felt so small and out of place and it made me miss being back in Oklahoma all the more.

This mall had quite a few stores we didn’t have back home, like Nordstrom’s and Macy’s. Walking through these department stores, I just couldn’t wrap my head around how big they were. This one store was easily bigger than three football fields and spanned several stories. I felt overwhelmed by the size. I was so in awe of the mere beauty of it, with its marble floors, exotic plants and marvelous statues, I almost forgot we were there to buy things.

Next we went to a store I had been to before, only back home it wasn’t exactly this grandiose. As we made our way through Saks Fifth Avenue I found a dress I absolutely loved, more so than all the others he had already bought me that day. It was white with spaghetti straps. The top was made of feathers and it had a high waist that was decorated with tiny little Swarovski crystals. The bottom of the dress was a tiered tulle skirt that flowed outwards. I felt so pretty, like I was dancing on clouds, as I tried it on and pranced around showing Jeromy.

Next he got me a pair of Christian Louboutin crystal pumps that matched my new dress perfectly. With the other items I hadn’t really looked at the price tags but I did glance down and notice the price on the shoes. They were $850. I felt bad at how much money Jeromy was spending on me. But I also knew Jeromy enjoyed doing it. It really seemed to make him happy to do things for me, so I tried to push back the lump forming in the pit of my stomach. I loved the shoes so much but the feelings of guilt that came with them wasn’t easy to take.

At Macy’s we somehow found our way to the swimsuit department. I don’t know how, but I always seemed to find my way to the swimsuit department. Swimsuits were my weakness. I absolutely loved them. Because Jeromy was being sweet and buying me so many great things today I decided to let him help me pick out a bikini he liked best.

He was eying a white string bikini with a neon pink outline. And I must admit I liked it too. Before long he had picked the white and neon pink bikini he had first seen along with a bright yellow one that tied up the side. “When we get home I’ll try these on for you,” I said to him softly as I gently let my hand fall, playfully and softly rubbing his groin.

I loved to tease him for some reason. I think it was because I loved the look of angst on his face when he knew there was nothing he could do to satisfy his desire for me at that moment.

We had been shopping for a while now and our hands were full of bags; I wondered how much longer he was going to hold out, but as we exited Macy’s we walked past Victoria’s Secret. His eyes widened with excitement. I wondered to myself if this was his plan all along. Then again, he did spend the entire day buying me all the things I liked, I might as well return the favor, so I grabbed his hand and led him into the store.

As we walked inside he started to say “Could you …” but he didn’t finished. “Are you …” he trailed off. He looked down at the floor and shook his head. I could tell he was trying to find the right words to say but they just wouldn’t come. His cheeks were a little red and I could tell he was embarrassed to be in a store filled with so many intimate things. This really wasn’t like Jeromy. He was normally so confident. I really didn’t think anything fazed him. It was downright adorable watching him with the boyish grin on his face, trying to speak.

Saving him the struggle, I led him to a large couch towards the back of the store and sat him down there, along with all of our shopping bags from the day. His eyes never left my face, as I walked over to a rack and pulled out a chiffon ruffle babydoll dress. He nodded in excitement. Next I made my way over to the rows of gowns hanging on the wall. I pulled out a full length gown, only the entire bottom half was made of a see-through mesh. One glance over my shoulder towards Jeromy’s eagerly awaiting face and I could tell that this too was a yes.

I would need to find some panties to go with it, so I worked my way over to the center display aisle and picked up a tiny black pair and tossed them over to Jeromy playfully. He blushed and quickly put them to his side, along with the rest of the items I had already picked out. Next I found a simple black slip dress that was trimmed in pale pink lace. I looked over to Jeromy to see what he thought and got yet another nod of agreement.

I was starting to wonder if he was really paying attention or if he was just mindlessly agreeing with all of my selections when I came across a navy blue pleated babydoll dress that had a bow tied just below where my breasts would be. He gave me a sly grin and I added that to our growing collection of lingerie.

I found a few push up bras and matching panty sets that I liked and brought them over to Jeromy as well. Then I decided I should probably get something I could actually wear around the house that wouldn’t be too revealing. I found a cute ruffle tank with a matching pair of tiny shorts. I picked up a pair in black and one in pale pink. It was more cute than sexy and still decent enough to be able to trot around the house in without causing too much of a stir if I happened to run into anyone else.

After we left Victoria’s Secret we were headed to the car, which was parked just outside of Nordstrom's. While traipsing through the store a beautiful black dress caught my attention and I pulled Jeromy over to check it out. By now most men would have completely lost it or died of boredom. But Jeromy wasn’t most men. He was kind and compassionate and wanted to do whatever it took to make me happy.

I grabbed the black dress off of the rack and made my way back to the dressing rooms, Jeromy in tow. I put the bags I was carrying in the stall next to me and then told him to do the same. No reason to carry those bags around while he stood out there waiting for me to try this dress on.

It was a cute dress but it was impossible to really measure the fit because I couldn’t do the snaps myself. I asked Jeromy if he would come in my dressing room and help me. He entered the small room with caution. He looked like he was walking into an ambush and well, perhaps he was.

His hands caressed my shoulders as he zipped up the back of my dress. He slowly began running his fingers down my back, pushing his hips into me from behind. I let out of soft moan and then Jeromy pressed his hand against mine and interlaced our fingers. “No, baby, we can’t. We are going to get caught,” I said softly as he started to kiss my arm and then pushed my head back and began kissing my neck. He knew exactly where to touch me to make me lose all sense of reason and logic.

When he sat down on the bench, I straddled him like the wild stallion that he was. I ground against him as he pushed my head back and licked the front of my neck in a slow but forceful motion. While he nibbled on my ear I took a deep breath and inhaled the musk of his manhood.

I did my absolute best to stay quiet during our secret tryst in the dressing room, but at times he did have to cup his hand over my mouth to help. I couldn’t believe what I was doing. Someone could walk in and catch us at any moment; but then again that was also part of the excitement.

This really wasn’t the type of person I was. Before getting with Jeromy I would have never in a million years considered doing something like this and would probably have slapped him for even suggesting it. But that’s the thing about Jeromy, he has this way about him. He makes you get so caught up in his world that you lose part of yourself, namely your sense of sanity, just basking in his glory. Just being near Jeromy could make even the most down–to-earth person get swept up in it all. He just had something about him that made you lose yourself in his infectious smile.

Afterwards, we did our best to rearrange our clothes and my makeup so that it wouldn’t appear obvious to people walking by what we had just done, and made our way back to the car. Then again, judging by the devilish grin splashed across Jeromy’s face, I’m sure it wouldn’t be hard to figure out.

I didn’t pay much attention on the drive home. I was lost in thought, warm thoughts of how much I loved my boyfriend and how I was really beginning to love our new life together here in Houston.

When we arrived back home we found Billy wasn’t alone. Other members of the band were there now; they were in his studio working on a new song. More than anything I wanted to go in there and listen. I was curious how the whole making music process worked. I also think part of me wanted to see Billy again. But I didn’t want to intrude, so instead I went upstairs to my room and put away my new clothes while Jeromy went into the living room to watch TV.

I was so tired. I had been up late the night before, woken up far too early this morning and I had been on an all-day shopping trip. I only made it as far as my bed before deciding to lay down my head for a moment’s rest. I could put away my clothes after, I thought to myself as I closed my eyes and falling into a deep sleep.

I woke up to a clanging and clattering noise coming from my bathroom. I cautiously walked in to see what the noise was and was startled to see an older lady in my closet putting away my new clothes. She was short and had thin dark brown hair with olive skin that was worn with age. I tried to wrap my mind around who this lady putting away my clothes was and then I remembered Billy had mentioned a maid before. This must be her.

“I’m so sorry, Miss. I didn’t mean to wake you,” the lady said with a distinctly Hispanic accent. “Please forgive me, Miss. I just wanted to put away your pretty things.”

“Oh please no, don’t be silly. It’s more than fine,” I said to the lady, reassuring her. “I’m Stacy, by the way,” I said as I put out my hand to shake hers. “And your name is?” She seemed a little taken aback by my reaching for her hand, so I quickly pulled it back.

“Yes, Miss Stacy. I’m Kita. Billy told me all about you. You are more beautiful than he said.”

I blushed at her words. “Well, I better get out of your way. It was nice meeting you, though.”

I made my way back downstairs and left Kita to do her thing. I felt a little guilty that she was there putting up my new clothes when I really could have done it myself, but I did my best to push that guilt back. I had so much to get used to here in Houston. Life really was so different than it was back in Oklahoma.

When I got downstairs I found the boys in the kitchen chatting away, drinking beer. They were all smiles when they greeted me and offered me a beer of my own. I declined their kind offer and instead went to the fridge to find a bottle of water. I was still a little dehydrated from the night before.

I had on a tight pair of white jeans that hugged my hips and a loose fitting, low-cut tee. When I reached up towards the top shelf to get the bottle my stomach was exposed and Travis made a comment. “Damn girl. You’ve got a great body.” I turned to glare back at him as I pulled down my shirt. All the guys laughed and Billy punched Travis in the arm. Men! They really were so childish sometimes.

I made my way to the living room and attempted to turn on the TV. There were more than a few remotes lying on the coffee table and I tried to figure out which one had the stupid POWER button. As I clumsily fumbled around with the buttons I finally found the right one. That was, the right one that turned on a TV that was playing a porno. My face shot bright red as I quickly grabbed for the remote I had just set down to try and turn the TV back off or at least figure out how to mute the sounds of all the moaning and groaning going on.

Just then the boys walked in. Travis had a smirk on his face, “Yeah! Now that’s my kind of chick. Shit, Jeromy, please tell me this one has a sister.”

I was beyond embarrassed. I wished at that moment the ground would open up beneath my feet and swallow me whole. But what could I do? If I didn’t own it they would never let me live this down. I put on my best fake smile and said, “What? Don’t you all ever watch porn? What’s wrong with you? I thought you were good ‘ole, red blooded American boys.”

I turned back to face the screen where a buxom blonde had just begun straddling a well-endowed gentleman and tried to hide the red that was now filling my cheeks. Zander let out a loud laugh and made his way to sit down next to me. “Here,” he said as he handed me his beer. “You look like you probably need this more than me.”

He was right. I was utterly mortified, but still I think I handled it well. As we sat around the living room watching the adult movie play on the television, we all drank beer and chatted. I was still a little uncomfortable with the porno on the TV but it was nice know that I had earned the respect of the band. I liked being treated like one of the guys.

Overall it was a relaxing night. I liked getting to know them. I liked watching them together. They were all so playful with each other, roughhousing and telling jokes. I also noticed Billy was far more relaxed and carefree that he had been the night before in the bar.

I went to the kitchen to get Jeromy another beer. When I returned Travis was telling everyone a joke. “So this guy wakes up and was real horny, so he nudged his wife awake wanting to get it on. She wouldn’t though saying she had an appointment at the gynecologist tomorrow and she didn’t like to make love the night before. The dude rolls back over and started to go back to sleep but then a few minutes later he nudges his wife again and asked her if she had a dentist appointment tomorrow too.”

Everyone laughed. It was kind of funny, I guess. But Bran’s joke was much funnier.

“A couple drove down a country road, not saying a word to each other. An earlier discussion had led to an argument, and neither would concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules and pigs, the wife sarcastically asked, Relatives of yours? The man thought for just a moment and then replied, Yep, the in-laws.”

Jeromy turned to Bran, put his hand on his shoulder and said, “I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.” It took everyone just a moment to get it but when they did, the room burst out in laughter.

Sometime during the night Jeromy and I got invited to see the band play again at Rowdy’s. Jeromy glanced towards me and I shrugged, so he said we would go. Part of me wondered how this was ever going to work. These guys were in a band and the party lifestyle, day in and day out, was apparently completely normal to them. Starting Monday, Jeromy had a real job to go to and I quietly worried their partying would interfere.

◊

When we arrived at the bar the next night I was surprised at how packed it was considering it was a Thursday night. Back home we couldn’t even pull in a crowd like this on weekends. As I glanced over at Billy, I wondered if it had something to do with the band.

Before the first set an older gentleman dressed in cowboy boots and a pair of all too tight jeans, made his way over to our table. He put his hand on Billy’s shoulder. “What a night. That f*cking Penny broke her toe and she has to stay off of her foot for the next week. I don’t know what I’m going to do. It’s packed in here tonight and it’s too late to call anyone in.”

I looked down at my pretty white new dress and then glanced at my feet in my shiny new Christian Louboutin heels. I let out a sigh as I looked to Jeromy. He nodded his head. That was one of the great things about Jeromy. We knew each other so well that we often didn’t have to say a single word; we both just knew how to answer each other, instinctively as if one knew what the other was thinking.

But before I could say a word, Billy spoke up. “Don’t worry man. I’ve got the solution to your problem right here.” Billy put a hand on my shoulder and told the man who was now eyeing me warily; “Meet my roommate Stacy. She’s been a bartender for years.”

“Is that true?” the man asked with almost a sound of desperation in his voice.

“Yes, but …” I started to say when the man interrupted me and said, “Well damn, girl, what are you doing sitting here? We’ve got a line of customers a mile long at the bar waiting for you.” He grabbed me by the arm and started to drag me along beside him.

“No, wait. You don’t understand. I’m not from here.”

The man stopped and gave me a strange look.

“I just moved here from Oklahoma. My liquor license probably isn’t good here in Texas.”

The man paused for just a moment and then said, “That’s okay. I’ve got an idea.” He led me back behind the bar and then pulled out a piece of paper and a marker, and wrote in big letters, Beer Only. He taped it to the counter that hung above my head.

“You don’t need a license to serve beer. You’ll be a behind the bar waitress for the night,” he muttered as he walked around looking at his sign with a big grin on his face.

He looked back at me before walking off and reminded me not to touch any liquor, not even for a second. I nodded in agreement and watched him walk away. I had been around the bar scene for long enough to know how serious it was for an unlicensed bartender to serve drinks. I wouldn’t dare dream of it.

I looked around at the large tubs of beer and ice behind me. Okay, this is going to be easy. I only had to serve beer. I could do that. Anyone could do that. And one by one the customers started lining up.

Because I only had to grab beer bottles and hand them over to the customers that came up to me, my line moved fast. His idea had actually been a pretty good one and it sped things up behind the bar significantly. The other bartender looked to me with appreciation written all over her face. I completely understood what she felt at that moment. I knew what it was like to be alone behind the bar on a busy night.

In between sets I brought the boys buckets of beer and sat them on the table. They seemed grateful and showed their appreciation with a series of crudely sexual remarks each time I came by with a new bucket of longnecks for them to devour. Ahh, boys will be boys, I tried to remind myself each time.

When the night was over I was beyond ecstatic. My feet were killing me. As great as my new shoes may have looked, they weren’t meant for hours of standing behind a bar, slinging drinks.

It turned out the old man in cowboy boots was named Henry and he owned the bar. He asked if I would consider coming in to work again on Friday and Saturday and after discussing it with Jeromy,

I agreed to help. Tomorrow, however, I would be smart about my attire and wear something far less painful on my feet and just in case there are any other issues that arose I would fill out the online application for a temporary servers permit. It’s better to be safe than sorry.

It was nice to feel needed and, even better, I was earning some of my own money. The people at this bar tipped really well, even just for serving them beer.

Friday and Saturday night went by fast. Rowdy’s was so packed I could barely keep up. I felt bad that I didn’t get to spend much time with Jeromy and the boys over the weekend but I could tell they liked that I helped their friend Henry out of a jam.

Jeromy started his new job on Monday, so I wanted to spend every minute of his last day of freedom together. I suggested we hang out by the pool and I put on one of my new bikinis that he got me and met him downstairs.

There was a large stereo outside so I turned it on. I couldn’t find any station that I liked and then I realized that it had a docking station so I ran inside to grab my iPhone. I plopped it in and flipped to the first song. It was Rick Springfield, I’ve Done Everything for You.

I had forgotten that I downloaded his greatest hits album after that night with Billy on stage. I couldn’t seem to get the Jessie’s Girl song out of my head. Oh well, I shrugged. This song is as good as any I suppose.

I didn’t think anyone was around except Jeromy and me, so I danced around like a fool, mouthing the words as if I was really singing the song, trying my best to be seductive. I remembered seeing the moves in some movie and I tried my best to mimic them, to try and turn Jeromy on.

What I didn’t know is that directly above me was Brick, who ran the band’s website. He was in Billy’s office upstairs and had a bird’s eye view of the whole show.

After my little dance for Jeromy, I walked over to him. He was lazing on a lawn chair with a big smile on his face. I came over to him and sat on his lap. I threw all of my weight onto him, forcing him to lay all of the way back.

“Did you like my dance?” I asked Jeromy seductively.

But before he could answer I leaned in and began to kiss him. I ground my body against his as he pulled me into him even tighter, deepening our kiss.

After we made love in the lawn chair, I looked around, worried that someone might have been able to see it. But Billy’s yard was big and covered with swarms of trees so I felt like I was safe from prying eyes.