Absolutely Unforgivable

chapter 15 - Good Morning Houston


The day of our big television appearance had finally arrived. The only problem was we had to be up really early as it was a live show and it started at 6 am. We weren’t scheduled to be on until 8 am, but still they wanted us there early for preparations.


The host of the Good Morning Houston show was a sweet lady that came into the green room to give us a welcome. When she did she took one look at Billy and let out of soft, “Oh my.” All the girls giggled. It was something by now we had seen and heard a million times. Billy was drop dead gorgeous, even at this time of the morning.


It was so early and nobody was really awake yet, so for the most part the gang was pretty subdued, barely paying attention to the production assistant who came in after the show’s host to give us some instructions while Trista was frantically pouring cups of coffee down the boys’ throats trying to make sure they would be awake enough when it came time for them to go before the cameras.


Unlike the men, the girls had been up for quite a bit longer. We had wardrobe to get into as well as hair and makeup. Brick had wanted us to really slut it up for the cameras but luckily Trista agreed with me in the wardrobe department and had styled all the girls in matching white and gold dresses. They were sexy, but classy. Well, all but Starla and Darla’s. For some reason they decided to forgo the elegant outfits and instead wear matching very low-cut white dresses that had shiny golden belts. When Trista asked them about the change they just went on about how the bigger belts would sparkle better for the cameras in the overhead lights. That, of course, wasn’t what Trista meant. The dresses were rather provocative for morning television and we all worried they would make them change or prevent us from getting to go on altogether.


Bree, Mindy, and Tiffany had similar looking Greek-goddess-like dresses that fell to the floor but had a split up the entire length of the gown exposing their legs. Tiffany was going to go onstage with us today. While she normally preferred to stay near Patrick while we were performing, with Trista’s encouragement, today she would be front and center with the rest of us. And by “encouragement” I mean Trista’s incessant whining.


For me, I had figured that since I was going to be placed front and center of the stage next to Billy they would find some outrageous costume to put me in and I wasn’t wrong. Mindy had found the dress in a magazine and had shown it to Trista. Together they worked with a local seamstress who handmade a similar copy for me. The dress was made into sections. The main part was a tight, flesh colored mini skirt that had delicate gold embroidered design around my chest to cover my breasts but just barely. Just in case anything happened or my dress moved in some way I hadn’t foreseen, I covered my nipples with a bronze sparkle eye shadow. Better to be safe than sorry.


Starting at about my hips the back of the dress went on to flow to the floor. It wasn’t really a separate piece, it all flowed seamlessly together, but to me it felt like different pieces since the front of the dress was so tight and short. Nobody else could tell from just looking at me, but I could feel the little pins that were attaching the train. On my feet I wore a brand new pair of gold sequin, platform heels that Trista had bought for me to match the dress. I loved them and marveled at how they sparkled in the lights as I nervously paced the floor waiting for them to call us on to the stage.


I tried to keep my focus on my shiny new shoes as we were shuffled off down a long hallway, headed towards the stage. Like the real pros the boys were, when it came time for them to head out they perked up and turned it on. You could actually see the transformation take place in their body language. It was fascinating to watch them go into rock star mode.

We strutted out to the stage where the equipment had been set up for us and the lights overhead were turned on. It took me a moment to adjust my eyes to their brightness. Trista was clapping her hands and saying “Places, ladies. Come on, we are about to go live.”

She stepped into the background standing behind the cameras and a man started to count down, “Ten, nine, eight, seven, six …” and then he said nothing. Instead he lifted his hand in front of him holding up five fingers, then four, then three, then two and then a bright red light on top of the camera came on.

Darla and Starla were perfectly positioned as always on each of Travis’ arms. Tiffany, Mindy, and Bree stood near Zander, and I was placed up front with Billy, only off to the side more. Billy took center stage and rightfully so. He looked so sexy in his faded blue jeans that hung a little low on his waist and showed just the top of his white Calvin Klein underwear underneath when he put his hands in his front pocket. He had on the band’s black t-shirt that fit him tightly and showed off every bit of the well-toned chest underneath.

The second the red light came on above the main camera in front of us, the band started playing. In all of the excitement I had forgotten to find out what song they had decided on. It was an upbeat song that had a solid rock beat to it. It was one of their originals and the lyrics mentioned something about his favorite memory. I had heard Billy singing it before in the bathroom in the mornings.

It didn’t really matter what song they played, us girls pretty much always had the same role; we were arm candy for the band. Sure I may have had a tambourine in my hand but I knew the real reason I was on stage with the other girls. We made the boys look good and that is all that Trista cared about, the image of her little rock gods in the making.

After the song was over, Billy and I were led over to sit next to the host of the show while she asked us several questions. While we were heading over to that part of the stage I heard her say, “Everyone give it up for our special guests Billy Snow, Stacy Keller, and the rest of Jessie’s Girl who performed their new song Favorite Memory.”

As we sat down she started in right away with her questions. They were your typical interview questions like how did you meet, did it bother me that all the girls were screaming for Billy throughout every performance, and so on. She talked to Billy a bit about how the band got together and what the name meant.

I turned my head to look at him, wondering what story he was going to tell her live early morning TV. I held my breath as he grinned and told her the story about how the name served as a reminder that women may come and go but friendship lasts forever. He shrugged. “It just reminds us that friendship is more important than some fling.”

I finally relaxed, grateful he didn’t add the typical “and no bitch is worth all that shit” to the story, which he had done so many times in the past. I squeezed Billy’s hand but when he didn’t squeeze it back I looked his way again. He was looking down at the ground.

The host turned to me next. “So tell me, Stacy, what was it like to suddenly wake up one day and be famous?”

“It was exactly like that,” I said enthusiastically. “I woke up one day and I had Trista, the band’s manager, telling me about all these Twitter followers and how many views our videos had on YouTube. I couldn’t believe it.”

I turned my head towards Trista who was standing behind the camera with Brick. He was slowly shaking his head, mouthing “no”. I think he was a little bit panicked that I would reveal he had been tweeting as me. But I knew better than to do that.

“The great thing about Twitter is that you don’t really feel like you are sending out a message to thousands and thousands of followers. It’s just like you are talking to a few friends, like I was saying, hey Mindy this is what I’m wearing tonight, what do you think about it? But in reality that message would go out to everyone. It’s still hard to wrap my head around the fact that I now have over 200,000 followers. It doesn’t even seem possible.”

I paused for a moment and continued. “It’s strange, really, if you think about it. I can’t sing. I don’t even know how to play a real instrument, all I really am is ambiance, Billy’s arm candy. Heck, even our sound guy Patrick can play the keyboard and his girlfriend Tiffany can play the piano. If you ever heard her play it would make you cry it’s so beautiful.”

“Now that’s not true. A little birdie told me that you and Billy have a song that you sing with him. Tell us about that.”

I knew immediately who that little birdie was and she was standing behind the camera right now next to Brick in her navy blue pencil skirt and spiked heels.

I blushed as I told the host of the show the story of our love song. “I’m so embarrassed. I didn’t think anyone knew about that. It’s not really a song that the band plays. It’s just something Billy and I played around with when we are at home alone.”

The host nodded her head and softly said, “Uh huh,” as if she wanted me to go on.

“I had heard a song before playing on the radio and immediately fell in love with it. Billy said that we could do one better so we sat down and wrote our own love song.”

There was some shuffling behind me and as I turned my head Tiffany was sitting behind a piano that had now appeared on the stage where Billy and I once stood. Turning back to Billy, I saw him getting up to grab his guitar.

The host asked, “What are we going to have to do to get you to sing it for us?”

“No, no, no.” I shook my head furiously. “I couldn’t. Oh my goodness no”.

I looked up at Billy as he was now putting the guitar strap over his shoulder. “No please,” I muttered softly as I looked into his eyes. He didn’t actually say the words but mouthed, “For me?”

In the background I could hear Tiffany start to play the first few notes of the song. Billy leaned against the arm of the loveseat with his acoustic guitar in hand, where I sat looking up at him with my hand on his knee.

“Your heartbeat helps me sleep at night and your kiss warms my soul.”

This time Billy didn't look to the camera as he performed. He never took his eyes off of me and I never stopped looking at him. I’m pretty sure he did it because he knew if he didn’t keep me focused on him I would have bolted off of that stage so fast their heads would have been spinning.

He strummed the chords on his guitar and continued to sing the romantic sweet words of the song we had written together. As he sang the words, “My arms feel empty when you aren’t in them. My love for you grows every day. My heart aches for you in each and every way,” a single tear fell down my cheek.

At the last line of the song he stood up and so did I. He pushed his guitar to the side and pulled me into him and I looked up at him as together we sang, “I love you more than I ever knew I could love someone. I love you more with every kiss. I love you more than I ever knew I could. Your love is true bliss.”

As the song ended a loud man shouted, “And we’re clear.” The staff quickly shuffled us off as they set up for the next segment of the show.

Walking down the long hallway back towards the green room Travis said, “Holy f*cking shit. That was unreal. We are going to be so f*cking famous after that shit.”

I turned my head towards him and smiled. “Yeah, Travis, you guys were amazing today. You killed it onstage. I’m so proud of you guys. We are going to have to beat the girls off of you now with big sticks.”

Trista came up behind me, locking her arm in mine. “Hon, I don’t think that’s what he meant.”

I stopped walking for a moment and looked at her, waiting for her to fill me in on what she was talking about but she didn’t bother. She just tugged my arm and said, “Come on, you have some autographs to sign.”

Vin stood at the back door of the studio shaking his head. “It’s a madhouse out there, man. No way are we getting out of here without getting mobbed.”

“Well, let’s get the f*ck on it,” Travis joked as he pushed his way out the door, Darla and Starla hanging on each arm. The fans screamed his name and he signed several autographs while Darla and Starla threw out our new posters to several of the hysterical girls.

Zander and Bree went out next, quickly followed by Mindy and Bran, all pausing to sign autographs as they made their way to the waiting stretched out Hummer limousine.

Patrick and Tiffany walked out next, alongside Brick and Trista. They jumped into the back and then it was just me and Billy, well, and Vin, my trusty bodyguard who I knew would never leave my side, especially with a mob of screaming fans just feet away. Devin and Rocco were already waiting by the car with their hands on the doorknob to quickly open it for us when we got close enough. When we didn’t come out right away, they started walking towards Vin to help him out.

I held my breath and looked into Billy’s eyes. He still stopped my heart with his perfection. We took a single step out the door and the screams and shouts began. Hastily I began to pick my way through the sea of women that stood between us and the door to the limousine. Vin, Devin, and Rocco did what they could to clear a path for us but it wasn’t easy. Women were grabbing at Billy, ripping his shirt off as he tried to walk by them. We stopped for a moment to sign a few autographs but things were getting out of hand and Vin wanted us to get out of there.

As more hands reached out to grab at us, Billy came up behind me, grabbing my waist and leaning in on me, covering my body with his, and acting as a shield while Vin got the door opened and shuffled us inside. Vin, Rocco, and Devin followed behind and then we were off.

The mood on the ride home was electric. Everyone was so revved up from all that had taken place that morning. At that moment I really thought everything was truly perfect in my life. I however, was wrong. Oh so horribly wrong.

When we pulled into Billy’s driveway, Jeromy was there leaning against his car waiting for us. “Hey man! Long time no see,” Vin said as he jumped out of the limo and put one hand on Jeromy’s back and then shook his hand with the other. Jeromy shook it back but didn’t take his eye off of the limousine. He waited for me and Billy to step out before he started towards us.

“I saw you on Good Morning Houston. I no longer have to wonder why you haven’t been calling me back. I completely get it now. How could I have been so blind? It all makes sense now.”

He turned to Billy, who had grabbed his arm trying to pull him away from me to get him to calm down. Jeromy jerked away from him. “I f*cking trusted you, man. How could you?”

“Excuse me? You cheated on me, Jeromy. I never touched Billy until after we broke up. A breakup, might I remind you that was due to your infidelity! How dare you come in here acting all high and mighty. I loved you with every fiber of my being. You broke me. I was devastated by what you did, so don’t play victim with me.”

I started to walk away when Jeromy said, “I never cheated on you, Stacy.”

I quickly turned around. I was shaking as he said those words. How dare he deny what he had done? I had seen the two of them together with my own eyes. I screamed, “Bullshit!”

But Billy, who was standing next to me, now said something that would shake me to my very core. “No, Stacy. He didn’t cheat on you.”

I turned to face Billy, unsure if I really heard him say what I thought he did. Billy looked down to the ground and said “I found out last night.”

I turned towards Jeromy, who said, “You never gave me a chance to explain.”

I turned towards Mindy and she just shrugged. Bran and Zander were just looking at the ground, trying to avoid eye contact.

My heart was beating fast. My head was spinning. I was having a hard time catching my breath. I couldn’t understand any of this. I could hear Jeromy talking to me but still I couldn’t get what Billy said out of my head. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

I only found out last night, and everyone was rushing around this morning trying to get ready for the show. I just didn’t think it was the right time. I didn’t want you to freak out before we went live on the air.

“I can’t believe you Billy. How could you?”

“It wasn’t like that Stacy. I’m sorry. I should have told you as soon as I found out. I made a bad judgment call.”

My whole world was crashing down around me. I had a hard time thinking straight. I just wanted to get away and go somewhere I could be alone to think and sort it out.

Out of the corner of my eye I could see my car. I ran and jumped inside, quickly locking the doors behind me. Vin wasn’t too far behind me and positioned his massive body in front of my car blocking my departure. I was angry and I wasn’t going to let him or anyone else stop me from leaving. I rolled the window down. “Get out of my way, Vincent, or I will run over you. I’m not joking.”

Billy said, “Let her go, man. Let her go.”

As Vin moved out of my way, I spun out of the driveway and drove around aimlessly until my car got low on gas. I looked around trying to find a gas station, truly having no idea where I had gone. Nothing around me looked remotely familiar. After filling my car up with a new tank of gas, I pulled out my phone. I thought for a moment about where I wanted to go. I knew I didn’t want to go home. And then it hit me. I knew exactly where I wanted to be.

Thanks to the map feature of my phone, I found my way to where I wanted to go, which was only about a forty minute drive. I really had gone much further than I realized. When I pulled up in her driveway and stepped out of my car, Debbie was standing at the door and met me with a huge smile on her face.

“Well, aren’t you adorable?” I looked down realizing for the first time I still had my fancy dress on from the show. “I watched you on TV this morning. You lit up the stage. Why aren’t you out celebrating with your friends?”

I didn’t say anything as I walked towards her. When I got to the door she put her arm around my shoulder and we went inside. A few steps in I dropped my knees and the tears began streaming down my face.

“Now, now. It’s can’t be all that bad.”

I tried to speak a few times but I was crying so hard Debbie couldn’t understand a single word I said. She sat down on the floor beside me, with her arm around me, rocking me back and forth, just letting me get it all out.

“Those boys sure did a number on you, didn’t they? I have a right mind to bend them over my knee and spank their little behinds for what they have done to you.”

She was so loving, her tiny little frail arms so supportive and warm as she gently rocked me back and forth while I cried. Still, I couldn’t help but let out a little laugh at what she was saying.

“Now that’s what I like to see. You have such a pretty face. You should never have anything but a smile on it.” She pulled some tissues out of her pocket and started to wipe my tears away and clean up some of the makeup that was now streaked down my face.

“Those boys. I just don’t know what I’m going to do with them sometimes.”

Jeromy walked in and looked down at us sitting on the floor. I looked up at him with my swollen and bloodshot eyes.

Debbie stood up, brushing off her pants leg. “Well now, I better get on those dishes that have been piling up in the kitchen. I suppose you two have some serious talking to do.”

She walked off into the kitchen and Jeromy pulled me up to my feet. I fell into his arms and buried my face in his chest as he chastised me for running off. “Stacy, what were you thinking? You can’t take off like that. Do you know how worried everyone has been about you? I don’t know what I’m going to do with you sometimes.”

He put his arms around me and hugged me tightly, lifting my feet off of the floor just slightly. “I’m so glad you are okay.”

“I’m sorry, Jeromy. I just had to get away. I had to think. I just ...” I paused for a moment trying to find the right words. “Why didn’t Billy tell me the truth?” I felt stupid the second I asked it. I knew why he didn’t tell me. He knew that if I knew the truth I might go running back into Jeromy’s arms and he was right; I probably would have. I don’t know, but it should have been my choice to make.

Jeromy took me back to the bedroom he had been staying in at his mother’s so we could have complete privacy. He sat me down on the edge of his bed and then sat down next to me. I twisted my body a bit and rested my legs over his. Jeromy and I spent about two hours just talking. We talked about his trip to Vegas.

“I was wrong to go without telling you first. I put my job before you. I put a big money deal before you. I should have made you a bigger priority in my life. When I got on that plane to Vegas I knew it was a mistake. I should have told you the truth. I don’t know why I didn’t. You probably would have understood the situation I was in and that I had to go to close that deal. But I justified it, because it was easier to just not tell you.”

We talked about his trip to Detroit and the Barbie doll looking blonde I saw him leaving the plane with. He explained that the two had worked together for years and she was happily married to his boss and she revealed to him on the plane that she was pregnant with her first child and they joked about the delicate condition she was in, so she jumped up on his back and let him carry her. It was really nothing more than playful banter between two friends but that after the struggle in the house where he accidentally blackened my eye he thought it best to give me some time to calm down before trying to speak to me about it. Then after that I just refused to see him or even talk to him.

My stomach turned in knots. What he said did completely make sense and I felt horribly guilty for not hearing him out before. But still, despite the guilt there was still something else I was feeling and it wasn’t for him. I was angry with Billy for not telling me the truth about Jeromy, but even with my anger, my heart still ached for him.

“Please, Baby, tell me it’s not too late for us.” I looked at Jeromy as he said those words to me, but I think we both knew that it was. There was no going back. Too much had taken place between then and now.

Jeromy went to go to the bathroom and I pulled my buzzing phone out of my purse to check my messages. There were a ton of them. Besides the forty three text messages I had from various people including Mindy, Bree, Trista, and Billy, I also had a ton of missed phone calls and some voice mail messages too. I pushed play on the most recent one. It was from Billy.

In the background you could hear Trista saying, “You better find a way to get her back here.” Billy sighed and then spoke into the phone. “Hey. I know you are upset and I don’t mean to bother you. I just wanted to make sure you are okay. Please just let me know you are alright and I’ll leave you alone.”

You could hear the sadness in his voice. It tugged at my heartstrings. But I wasn’t going to let him off of the hook that easy.

I scrolled through some of the text messages from Billy. “If I had a penny every time I thought of you, I'd be the richest man in the world.” I couldn’t help but laugh at that one. Billy is such a cheese ball sometimes. The next text message however almost made me start crying again. “To the world, you may be just one person. But to me, you are the world.” After reading his text messages I wanted to play another one of the voicemails he left me just to hear the sound of his voice again but, before I could Jeromy came back into the room.

He leaned on the door frame as I put my phone back into my purse. He looked down at my still red and swollen eyes. “You going to be okay to drive back home or do you want me to take you? I can have your car sent back to you later.”

“No, I’m okay. I can make it. But I guess I should really give the car back to you. I can’t keep it. It’s way too expensive.”

“Stacy, I got that car for you as a gift. I’m not going to take it back just because we broke up. That’s your car. I can’t take back what isn’t mine. I even put the title in your name. That is your car.”

“Jeromy, no, it’s really too much. I can’t.”

“Please. It would mean a lot to me if you would keep it. I still love you. I will always love you. Just because we aren’t together anymore doesn’t mean that is going to change. You will always hold a special place in my heart and I don’t ever want you to forget that.”

He pulled me up into his arms and hugged tightly and there we stood for a moment. I didn’t want him to let me go. It felt safe and comforting being wrapped securely in his arms like that. For just a brief moment in time all of the problems of the world were gone. There was no Billy, no lies, no band drama, no stalkers, and no photographers, nobody asking for my autograph, there was just Jeromy and I and it was as if that was exactly how it should be.

But still, I knew my time with Jeromy was over. He has always been generous to a fault. Even though I knew it was Billy I wanted to be with, I couldn’t deny how wonderful Jeromy had been to me. Jeromy was in so many ways a great boyfriend, but my heart wanted Billy and no matter how much my brain might have thought Jeromy was the better option, the rest of me wanted nothing more than to fall into Billy’s arms. Jeromy was a good boyfriend, someone I knew and could depend on. He was stable and mature and giving. He was every girl’s dream, just not my dream. I was in love with Billy and no matter how mad I was at him right now, I needed him.

“Now let’s get you back home before they send Vin and his buddies over to collect you. I think that might freak my mother out, seeing them carry you out the door.”

Before leaving I let Jeromy know that I would be returning the car when I was able to get a job and get back on my feet. I appreciated the sentiment but I couldn’t keep the car. It really was just way too expensive. He smiled and agreed but something tells me that’s a battle we’ll be fighting again one day. He doesn’t normally just give in like that.

I took the long way home, wanting to stretch out the drive as long as I could to give me time to think. Through all of this the only one who ended up really betraying me was Billy. Could I ever forgive him for lying to me? Could we fix this? Trust is such an important factor in a relationship, could I trust him again? I had all of these questions and thoughts on my mind as I pulled into the long driveway at Billy’s house. The gate was not only unlocked but it was wide open. As I got closer to the house I saw a police car in the driveway.

My heart sped up. I began to panic. Oh God not again! I turned off the motor, grabbed my purse and ran in the door, frantically looking for Billy, to make sure he was okay. He was standing in the foyer next to Vin, talking to one of the officers from the last attack who had only come back to finish up his report. He had a few more questions for us about the break-in.

“Stacy! Oh my God! We missed you!” Mindy and Bree ran over to me, hugging me and bouncing up and down. Billy eyed me cautiously as he continued to talk to the police officer. Devin and Rocco were now next to me; reading me the riot act about going off by myself.

“Leave her alone!” Bree told the men who were starting to make me cry. Mindy and Bree put their arms around me and walked me into the living room and over to the couch. Devin and Rocco were never more than two steps behind us. There was no way they were letting me get away again.

As we sat down on the couch I threw my purse at them. “Here, jackasses! Take my purse if you don’t trust me.”

Mindy put her arm around me. “It’s okay, Stacy. Just ignore them.” But they weren’t exactly easy to ignore.

In the background I could hear the officer ask Billy what that was about. Billy must have told him about me taking off earlier today because before I knew it he was on his way over to me.

“Miss, are you okay?”

The officer looked around at all the people in the room and when they put their heads down and looked away he asked me to come with him into the other room. He wanted to speak with me alone. Devin and Rocco tried to follow but the officer ordered them to stand down. He put his hand on his gun and assured them I was more than safe with him.

“Want to tell me what is going on, ma’am?”

I sighed. “It’s really nothing. I promise. Just relationship drama.”

“Why did you run off like that without protection? Did you already forget about what happened not too long ago?”

“I don’t know. I think I just panicked and I was upset and I just needed to get away.”

“What had you so upset?”

“It wasn’t a what, it was a who.” I looked down to the ground, thinking about Jeromy and then about Billy. My eyes started to mist over as I thought about all that had happened and my breakup with Jeromy and how Billy lied to me.

“Did someone hurt you?”

“Not physically, no. It was my ex-boyfriend. He saw us on television this morning and he didn’t react well to it.”

“And your ex-boyfriend is one of the guys in the other room?”

“Oh goodness no. No, no ... They are from the band. My ex is staying in Tomball with his mother.”

The officer relaxed when I said that and took the seat at the kitchen table next to me. “Is that where you went when you left here?”

“Not at first, no. I really just drove around for a while. Then somehow for some reason drove over there. We talked for a little bit and then I came back home and here we are now.”

“Do you understand how dangerous it is out there for you right now? There is a machete-wielding stalker on the loose who is looking for an opportunity to get you alone.”

“I know. I really do. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make everyone worry about me like that.” I put my hands up to my face and started to cry again.

“Please for the love of all things holy, don’t get the girl crying again.” Starla scoffed as she came into the room and put her hand on my shoulder.

Darla came in right behind her and took her place standing on the other side, placing her hand on my other shoulder. “Look, Stacy’s had enough excitement for today. Can we wrap this up already so we can get her cleaned up and into bed? She needs to rest.”

The officer looked up and down at the girls who clearly were not budging. “Alright ladies, you take care of your friend while I finish up with Mr. Snow.”

Darla smacked her gum and shouted out, “Billy, you’re up!”

Mindy, Bree, Tiffany, and Trista came into the kitchen as the police officer went to talk to Billy again.

“Thank you,” I said looking up to Darla and Starla.

“Whatever,” Darla said as she smacked her gum loudly. Starla, however, smiled and gave me a wink. Darla and Starla may act like they don’t care about anything or anyone but when it comes right down to it, they do have big hearts.

“How totally mad at Billy are you?” Mindy asked.

“Yeah, that. Can you guys help me with something?”

“Sure!” Bree answered.

I walked them into the bedroom I had been sharing with Billy. I asked them to help me pack up some of my things so I could take them upstairs. They begrudgingly agreed to help.

When the police officer left, Billy walked into the bedroom and looked at the packing being done. “What’s going on?”

I didn’t respond. I just kept folding up my clothes, trying to pack them into the suitcase on the bed.

Trista came in right behind him. “What the .... Are you leaving?” She smacked Billy in the arm. “Stop her, Billy!”

“I can’t make her do anything. If she wants to leave, then what can I do to stop her?”

I glared at Billy. “I’m not leaving Trista. I’m just moving back upstairs.” I didn’t understand why Billy was being such a dick to me. He was the one who lied to me. I didn’t do a damn thing to him so I don’t know what his problem is with me. I can’t believe he’s acting this way. I have every right to be upset.

After stuffing the last bit of clothing I could in the suitcase, I zipped it up and tried to remove it from the bed. It was too heavy so I asked Vin to take it upstairs for me instead. “Let’s go, little one,” he said as he grabbed my bag with a single hand as if the heavy weight was nothing for him and headed towards the stairs.

I followed closely behind him. I hadn’t been back upstairs since they replaced the floor and when I got to the spot where the blood stains had been I paused for just a moment. I took a deep breath, walked around it and then into my bedroom. Vin placed the suitcase on my bed and then walked over to the sliding glass door that led to the terrace.

“See this door? It stays shut at all times. I mean it. I don’t want you trying to open it for any reason.”

“Okay, I promise,” I said quietly as I unzipped the suitcase and started to unpack my clothes. Mindy and Bree came up a few minutes later, each with a bag of clothes in hand.

“I am not going to tell you that you can’t move back into your old room but you aren’t going to be alone up here. I am going to have someone posted outside your door at all times.” I wanted to complain but I knew it would be pointless.

I spent the rest of my day putting away my clothes. I heard Billy telling Vin that he was heading out for the night so I went downstairs and watched some television before heading off to bed, alone. I tossed and turned for a while before I finally got out of bed and opened my door. “Rocco, since you are going to sit there and protect me all night, think you could do it in here?”

Rocco nodded in agreement and came into my bedroom. He sat in the chair near the terrace door where just a bit of light was peeking through the curtains. Something about having Rocco so close by helped me finally get to sleep and when I woke up the next morning, I was happy to still see him there. Happy for me, but then sad knowing that he stayed up all night in that uncomfortable chair.

When Vin woke up and saw that Rocco wasn’t sitting outside my door, he burst into my room to see what was going on. It scared me and I jumped out of bed. I did my best to explain that I had asked Rocco to sit with me in my room because I couldn’t sleep but still I could tell he wasn’t happy. He preferred that they kept a professional distance from me and even just sitting in my room was inappropriate to him.

I went downstairs wondering if Billy was making breakfast. He wasn’t. The kitchen was empty. I made a piece of toast and after eating it, I realized Billy was in his studio. I walked in and sat down in a chair, listening to the light twang of his guitar. When he realized I was in there with him, he put his guitar down and without saying a word started to walk out of the room. As he made his way to the door, I stood up and blocked his exit. “Billy, we need to talk.”

A sad look crossed his face as I put my hand on his arm. But before he could respond there was a knock at the front door. He walked past me to see who it was. I walked up behind Billy and saw it was a man delivering a large bouquet of flowers. It was a beautiful mixture of peach roses and pink calla lilies. I took the flowers and sat them down on the table by the door and pulled out the small card. It read, “Thinking of you. Love, Jeromy.”

When I looked up to explain, Billy was gone.

I didn't see him again until that night at Rowdy’s. I wasn’t so sure if being there was a good idea after seeing the scowl on Billy’s face. I started to ask Vin to take me home but Trista wouldn’t hear of it. She insisted I get on stage with the rest of the gang.

When the first song started Billy leaned into the microphone, the bottom of the stand coming up off of the floor. The lights in the bar had dimmed and a small spotlight now shone on him. He looked directly at me as my face colored red but he did not retreat. His gaze locked onto mine. The first line of the song he said almost in a whisper, yet he could still be heard clearly. “I have to block out thoughts of you so I don’t lose my mind.”

The song picked up tempo and the rest of the words he spoke truly broke my heart. “So much is left unsaid. You are so beautifully broken. I want you to know. I love the way you laugh. I want to hold you. I want to be your better half. You are so beautifully broken. I want to take away your pain.” He flashed his trademark smile at the crowd and they went wild.

There was a slight pause and the lights flashed back on. The song was a much faster beat now. There were no longer the soft spoken words coming from his heart. He screamed into the microphone, “Kill me now you f*cking bitch! You are killing me inside!” I glanced over to him to see if his eyes were still looking towards me and luckily he was not. He was looking out into the crowd as they cheered him on adoringly.

I tuned out the rest of the song. I couldn’t bear to hear any more of it. I knew exactly who he had written that song for and I didn’t want to know what else he felt for me. I didn’t want to hear any more about his pain. I got it. I knew he was hurting but he was the one who had lied to me. He could have told me Jeromy didn’t cheat on me but he didn’t. He said he only learned that night before, but who knows if that was true. For all I know he could have known about Jeromy the entire time.

I knew Trista would be mad if I left but I didn’t care. I walked off of the stage and made my way to the back room where I sat down and tried to block the throngs of screaming fans out of my head.

After taking a short breather I came back out and sat down at the band’s table. I sat back and watched Billy on the stage. He was really on fire tonight and the fans were eating it up. One fan in particular. I recognized her from when I first moved to Houston. She was a cute little redhead that Billy had been intimate with before.

I don’t recall seeing her since then, but tonight she was eagerly cheering him on and when they finished their set I was horrified to watch him go up to her and disappear into the parking lot with his arm wrapped around her. I couldn’t believe my eyes. How could he do that to me? I was devastated by his betrayal and asked Vin to take me home.

When I woke up the next morning I went downstairs with my head still reeling from what had happened with Billy and the redhead. I decided that today I was going to confront him and make him talk to me about everything.


Clearly, our relationship was over; that was evident when he stuck his tongue down that girl’s throat, but I still wanted some answers. I needed that closure. However, when I got downstairs I realized Billy hadn't come home last night. And he wouldn't come home for another two days. And when he finally did get home he wouldn’t even look at me, let alone speak to me.


I called Trista to let her know that I wouldn’t be performing with the band anymore; it was just too hard to see Billy with other girls. She freaked out and rushed over.


“I know you and Billy are having a hard time right now but please Stacy, don’t do this. Please don’t just ditch the band. We are on the verge of something big.”


“Trista you are being ridiculous. I’m not part of the band; I’m just eye candy who can be easily replaced. Stick Bree up front with Billy onstage and nobody will even notice I’m gone.”


“I don’t know where you get the idea that we can just replace you. Do you not realize how big Billy and Stacy mania is?”


“I think you are exaggerating just a bit Trista. I don’t think I’ll be missed in the slightest.”


“Please Stacy. I know things seem bad right now but think of the rest of the band. We are all counting on you. The more Billy and Stacy are out there, the more gigs we book, the more money we make.”


“The success of the band should be about the music Trista, not the drama surrounding it.”


“Yeah you would think that, but you and I both know that isn’t how things work. Drama drives sales. The more drama you have, the more newsworthy you are and the more you are in the news, the more people want to hear your music. You have a degree in marketing, you know exactly how these things work.”


I hated to admit it but Trista was right. It takes more than just great music to make it big anymore. The drama that was Billy and Stacy did increase the fan base. But how could I possibly keep going on like this? I hated seeing Billy with other girls and he clearly wasn’t going to stop anytime soon.


“Please just come to tonight’s gig and sign autographs. You don’t have to be on stage the entire time if you don’t want.” I reluctantly agreed. I would give it one more shot before making my final decision to leave or not.


Tonight we would be playing at a club inside the loop, near downtown. It was big venue and we expected large crowds. Vin wasn’t happy to hear that and sent Devin and Rocco to the club early so they could get a handle on the security situation before the rest of the gang arrived.


Tonight was a costume night. The girls were all dressing up in our slutty schoolgirl outfits. I was against getting these in the first plus but Darla and Starla had gone with so many of our ideas in the past, we had to finally give in and let them pick at least one and this was it. My skirt was so short and hung very low on my hips. With the white top that came up just under my breast, this was the most skin I had ever exposed. But I guess this is one way I would get Billy’s attention.


When we got to the club I felt nervous about going inside. I don’t know why really, I had done this countless times before and tonight was no different than all the other times. Well, I guess it was different. Tonight might very well be my last performance with the band.


As we walked in the door I wondered if Billy would even notice I had arrived. There was once a time when he would never take his eyes off of me. I missed those days. Bree found me first, and dragged me to the band’s table. She was worked up tonight, more so than normal. I wondered what put her in such a good mood.


“Here,” she said as she handed me a shot glass. “To Jessie’s Girl!” She quickly downed her shot and then so did I.


“Where is Mindy? Is she not here yet?”


She sighed. “No. She and Bran are running late. She texted me though. They should be here any minute.”


We sat down and grabbed a beer from the bucket that the waitress had just delivered to the table. I tried my best not to look around for Billy but I couldn’t help it. He wasn’t on stage. I wondered if he was even here yet but I couldn’t ask anyone. I wasn’t going to give him the pleasure of knowing I was worried about him.


“Trista is setting up a table on the side of the stage.” Bree pointed towards the table she was speaking of. “After the first set Trista wants us to take pictures and sign autographs over there.”


When I glanced over I noticed Billy was there talking to Patrick. I couldn’t hear what they were talking about but he was pointing up at the lights. He had that serious look on his face he gets sometimes before a show. I loved that side of him. It was so sexy.


Mindy came in right after and we all shared another shot. Darla and Starla came in next and they too wanted to have a drink. We hadn’t even completed the first set and I was already getting way too drunk. I knew I had to slow it down if I was going to make it all night, but still I couldn’t help it. The more I drank the easier it got to deal with all of this anxiety I had about Billy; our relationship; and being on stage. It was all just so much better this way. I didn’t want to think about any of that drama and the more I drank the quicker those thoughts went out of my head.


The first set went well. The guys played a few popular cover songs to get the crowd warmed up. When we made our way to the table Trista set up for us, she leaned in to me and Billy and reminded us that we were supposed to be a happy couple so we better start acting like it. I giggled and jumped in Billy’s lap. He whispered in my ear. “What are you doing?”


“I’m being your pretend girlfriend, like I was told to do. What, worried I’m going to scare off one of your whores for tonight?”


Billy just rolled his eyes and then we started signing posters and taking pictures for the lined up fans and every once in a while Billy would throw out one of the band’s t-shirts to a hot girl. When someone wanted to take a picture, I would lean in and kiss Billy on the cheek or look up at him adoringly.


Once I thought that Billy might be getting a little turned on by having me sit in his lap but I wasn’t quite sure. I whispered in his ear that I needed a break for just a moment. I wanted to order a shot and asked if he wanted one. He didn’t but Bree did so I got off of Billy’s lap and flagged down the waitress. She quickly returned with a whole tray of shots for the table. I grabbed mine and downed it in one gulp.


Bree poured a tiny bit of hers on my chest and then started to lick it off. She popped her head up and said “Hmmm. You know what would make this better?” She looked around at the crowd of staring men, and then giggled. “Salt! You need some salt Stacy.”


Before she could say another word someone handed her a shaker. She poured it on my breasts and then licked up and down, slowly and seductively. I laughed. I couldn’t help it. That girl was always doing something crazy like that. “Mmm, Stacy, you are deliciousness.”


Billy didn’t stop us this time, but I noticed him watching. Trista piped up. “Okay girls, that’s enough of a break. Let’s get a few more posters signed before the next set.”


When I sat back down on Billy’s lap I purposely squirmed so that I would rub against him. I knew now I was right. He was aroused. A huge grin came across my face and I leaned in to whisper in his ear. “This skirt is so short; I hope I remembered to wear my panties tonight.”


His eyes widened and his hand shot down between my legs to feel. Of course I had remembered to wear them. I was just teasing him; but still it was funny to watch the expression on his face when he wasn’t sure if I was serious or not.


Feeling I had my panties on he started to pull them to one side and insert a finger. I let out a soft moan. But then I realized we were in a club with a huge crowd of people around us, I stiffened up. “Okay you win. Stop. Billy! You win, you win!” I started to giggle and move my hips trying to force his fingers out of me and the rest of the table started looking our way wondering what was going on.


“You Mister are a very naughty boy.”


“What? You started it. You can’t tell me something like that and not expect me to check.”


For just a moment things were like they used to be between us and all was right with the world. But that moment would end all too soon because it was time to go back on stage. This set would start off with a new song Billy wrote. He didn’t look at me when he sang it, but I knew it was about me.


Hate me today. I hate how I loved you. Hate me tomorrow. I hate how you make me feel.


I hate everything you said that made my heart melt. I think I’m ready to let you go.


I hate what you did. I hate that you made me hurt. I think I’m ready to let you go.


I however wasn’t going to let this get me down. I had seen the set list earlier so I knew the next song was going to be “Crazy Bitch”. It was a fast tempo, upbeat song and the perfect song to get wild and crazy with. I pulled Mindy and Bree front and center with me at the start of the song and we did our naughty dance.


The song was great and had the crowds revved up and excited, but our dance put them over the top. The air in the room was electrifying. Billy knew things were getting out of hand, not just on stage but also in the club and that could be dangerous, so the next song he sang was much slower. He pulled me into him and sang “No Matter What”. It was a romantic rock song and I secretly wished he really meant the words of the song he sang to me.


The room swelled with applause and after the song was over the crowd started cheering, “Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!” and he did it. He leaned in and kissed me slowly, making me savor his lips, which tasted like cherries. I felt a stirring inside of me that I’d been trying so hard to keep squashed. He broke away from my mouth, took my face in his hands, and smiled. We gazed at each other for what seemed like an eternity. His fingers caressed my cheek, and then his lips found mine again.


Sadly however Billy’s love act didn’t last and when the set ended so did his affections towards me. He set his sights on a petite brunette and her friend, an exotic looking girl with dark blonde hair and aqua blue eyes. I knew he was going home with them after the club closed and I didn’t want to see it. When we finished the last set I had Vin take me home.