Absolutely Unforgivable

chapter 14 - Homecoming

After two long weeks I couldn’t wait to see Jeromy. I missed him so much so I decided to meet him at the airport. Vin drove and walked me to the designated gate and stood just behind me while we waiting for Jeromy to deboard the plane. Vin saw him first and said, “Oh shit”. He then grabbed my arm firmly and started to pull me away. I tried my best to resist him; I wanted to see Jeromy and I didn’t understand why he was trying to make me leave.

I turned to see if Jeromy had gotten off of the plane yet and saw him walking down the runway carrying a blonde woman on his back. He had a huge smile on his face, laughing like he used to do with me, something I hadn’t seen in such a long time. She was a beautiful girl, with long straight blonde hair. She had a tiny little face, with high, well-defined cheekbones. She had a cute little perky nose and a mouth full of really white teeth.

Jeromy noticed Vin first and stopped walking. He looked down and then saw me. His emerald green eyes widened and his mouth dropped open in surprise. The girl slid down his back to stand on her own two feet.

His brow wrinkled as he stared at me, watching to see what I was going to do. Perhaps he was unsure that he was really seeing me standing there.

I turned to face Vin and Jeromy shouted out, “Stacy, please, it’s not what it looks like!” He ran up to me and grabbed my arm, trying to force me to face him.

“Get your hands off of me!” I shouted. Now everyone was looking but I didn’t care. “Don’t you dare touch me!” My stomach was churning, my head was pounding, and I felt like I might pass out. How could Jeromy do this to me? I can’t believe this. This just can’t be real, it just can’t be. No. This isn’t happening. I tried to push Jeromy back, I didn’t want him touching me.

Looking up at Vin standing next to me, Jeromy slowly dropped his grasp on my arm and quietly said, “Please, Baby, let me explain.”

I turned and pushed my body into Vin. He wrapped his arm around me and escorted me out of the airport. But before walking off he turned to Jeromy and said, “That’s f*cked up, man.”

Vin rushed me back to the house and I ran into Billy’s arms crying so hard that he couldn’t understand what I was trying to say. It was hard to form a whole sentence, I was just so upset. “Jeromy … He wasn’t alone.”

Billy hugged me tightly trying to reassure me everything was going to be okay. But it wasn’t going to be okay. I found Jeromy with another woman, a beautiful blonde woman and they had been out of town, together.

“How could he do this to me? Did you know he was out of town with her?”

“No. Of course not. I had no idea any of this was going. Stacy you have to believe if I had known I would have put a stop to it.”

Jeromy followed, only about fifteen minutes behind us. I had run into Billy’s room to get away from Jeromy as he came into the house. Vin followed Jeromy into Billy’s room and, as Jeromy got closer to me, I ran into the bathroom and into Billy’s waiting arms.

“For f*ck’s sake, Stacy, let me explain, please,” Jeromy pleaded.

Billy was holding me from behind; Jeromy was standing in front of me. Vin was standing behind him. Jeromy started looking around and saw my personal things all over the sink. He looked at Billy whose hands were around my waist; then Jeromy looked up at my face and then took a step back.

“What’s going on here?” he demanded to know.

I turned my head and looked at my nightgown hanging off of the counter. I started to explain but then stopped myself. I didn’t owe him any explanation. I stepped behind Billy to get as far away from Jeromy as I could.

“Don’t go there man, it’s not what you think,” Vin said in his deep husky voice.

“F*ck you, man. I’m not blind. I can see exactly what is going on here.”

Jeromy puffed his chest out and looked like he was going to hit Billy. I screamed and Vin tried to pull him away as Billy turned around to make sure I was okay. I tried to jump in the middle to stop Jeromy and it was just all a big twisted mess of bodies. Before I knew it, Jeromy’s fist met the corner of my eye and I fell to the floor, crying out in pain. My face stung as it started to swell.

Vin looked down at me, now on the floor in tears, and shouted out, “What the f*ck man?” And then he dragged Jeromy out of the room.

Billy dropped to his knees and wrapped his arms around me. I could hear Vin and Jeromy talking in the other room. “What the f*ck is going on? Is he f*cking her?”

“Jeromy, man, calm down. It’s not what you think. Someone broke into the house while you were gone and attacked Stacy. The cops killed him just outside your bedroom door. We moved her downstairs while you were gone. She’s really freaked out man. She hasn’t been well.”

“Why didn’t someone tell me? I would have come home.”

“She didn’t want you to worry about her while you were away, man. She loves you. She was more worried about you than herself.”

“You gotta let me see her. I need to tell her I’m sorry.”

“I don’t think so, Jeromy. Not right now. You need to give her some space. You cheated on her, man. She’s not just going to get over that right away.”

At this point I began sobbing uncontrollably and couldn’t hear what else was being said. I was hysterical. Billy only wanted to comfort me but I didn’t want him touching me. I wanted to be alone. I wanted to block the entire world out.

Billy went into the living room, leaving me lying on the bathroom floor crying as I asked him to. He told Jeromy it would probably be a good idea if he went to stay with one of the other guys for now, or maybe his mother.

Next he called Trista and had her bring all the girls over to look after me. I appreciated the sentiment but I really didn’t want to see anyone. If I had my way I would have never moved off of the bathroom floor. I would have laid there until I died. How could Jeromy betray me like that? I guess I should have suspected something after he lied about Vegas but I just trusted him so blindly.

I don’t know how long I was on that bathroom floor but eventually Darla and Starla came in. Darla gently kicked my leg and I sniped, “What?”

“We are just seeing if you are still alive. If not we want your clothes. Well, not all of them because some of them are like old and gross. But some of them are okay I guess.”

“Leave me alone, Darla. I’m not in the mood for this right now.”

“Whatever. If you want to let some guy treat you like that, I guess that’s your own business.”

In the background I could hear Starla smacking her gum loudly like she and Darla always did. Something about it today though just went through me. I was so annoyed by her incessant chewing I sat up and said, “Would you please just leave me alone!”

I don’t know if it was the anger I built up over Darla and Starla annoying me or if it was the process of finally sitting up or maybe some strange combination of the two but I suddenly felt much better. I saw a smile come across Darla’s face as if she knew that by making me get up, even if it was to yell at her, I would be okay. And she was right.

I was still horribly upset about Jeromy cheating on me, but I had taken the first step. I picked myself off of the floor and walked into the living room where Mindy and Bree bounced up and down in joy at seeing me up and walking around.

“Do you know where Billy is?” I wanted to apologize to him for bringing all this drama into his house. He’s been such a sweet guy; he really didn’t deserve all of that.

Rocco said he was in the gym working out so I asked him if he would go into my room and grab my big suitcase. He did as I asked and brought it to me. I went into Billy’s closet and started packing my clothes. I didn’t really have enough room in that suitcase to fit everything but I packed what I could.

As I was just about finished Billy came into the room, slamming his bedroom door behind him. “What are you doing?”

“I’m packing.”

“I can see that, but why?”

“Because, Billy. I obviously can’t stay here anymore. So I’m going back home.”

My heart surged as Billy rushed up to me and grabbed my wrist, forcing it off of my suitcase. “This is your home.”

“You know what I mean,” I said, exasperated.

“No, I don’t.”

I sighed. “I mean I’m going back home to Oklahoma, to stay with my parents until I figure out what I am going to do with my life.”

Billy, who had finally released his tight grasp on my arm, gently put his hand on top of mine. “You don’t have to go. I don’t want you to go. I need you.”

I stopped for a moment and looked at him as he said that. His beautiful blue eyes were horribly sad. I tried to pull my hand away but he tightened his grip and then pulled my body into his.

“I can’t let you go,” he said softly as he ran his finger gently over my lips. I felt electricity course through my body.

I bit my bottom lip and then he pulled me into him tightly and gently started kissing me. His soft lips felt so good against mine. We both began to breathe heavily and he pressed his forehead to mine, sitting there for just a moment as if he was trying to control his heart rate.

His eyes narrowing, he lowered his head and took possession of my lips with a passionate kiss that made my head spin. I let out a soft moan as his lips pressed against mine. My body was burning with desire. He pulled back and brushed his thumb over my lips. His eyes were so warm and tender. The way he looked at me made my knees wobble and my breath quicken.

I started to say no, but I couldn’t force that word out of my mouth. I didn’t really want him to stop. As wrong as it was, I wanted him to throw me down and take me right here and now. My hand worked its way up his arm and he indistinctly flexed his muscles. His arms were so strong, so firm, and so damn sexy.

Still my mind raced with thoughts of Jeromy. But then again Jeromy did cheat on me. Clearly we were over, so this really isn’t cheating. Is it? My mind wanted to pull away, but my body wouldn’t move. I was in Billy’s arms, exactly where I wanted to be. If it was wrong, I truly didn’t care. All I wanted was Billy and I was tired of saying no. My body was consumed by desire and I had to have him.

“Kiss me again,” I purred and within an instant his lips were back on mine.

I ached for his body, his sensual touch. I wanted him inside of me so desperately. All of the troubles of earlier that day were no longer on my mind. The only thing I could focus on is how good it felt to be in Billy’s arms.

There were no regrets, no second-guessing. I was confident about what I wanted and that was Billy, deep inside of me. He ran his hands down my thighs and then growled.

I had pretended our flirting was nothing more than innocent banter between friends. But it had never been innocent. I wanted him and he wanted me and it had been that way for a long time now.

He pushed me down on the bed and my thoughts scattered. I pulled his shirt over his head and ran my hands over his firm chest. I moaned in pleasure as he put his hands on my stomach and started to remove my shirt.

I licked my lips with anticipation as Billy ran his hands down my thighs and then back up to my hips. He pushed my skirt up to my waist and then ran his fingers under the waistband as he gently pulled it down my now quivering legs.

There was a fire burning inside of me that only he could quench. “I need you, Billy, right now.”

He stood up and pulled off his pants. His beautiful naked body now stood before me. My eyes immediately darted to the bulge that had been growing in his pants. I didn’t realize how well-endowed he was before. I had seen him naked but it was only for a second and not fully erect.

My lust for him took over my every thought and body movement. I crawled to him and sat up on my knees and pulled him into me as we kissed -- a deep and mind-blowing kiss that took my breath away. It was if we had connected on a level that truly transcended our physical bodies. My breath grew heavy, my vision clouded and my entire body began to shake. He felt so good.

His smile deepened, and he leaned in closer. Then he pushed me back on the bed and climbed on top of me. I closed my eyes and let out a soft moan as he rocked himself gently against my body.

After, I looked up at him. His face contorted with pleasure and he said, “You are incredible.” He kissed me passionately and then laid down beside me, holding me tightly as I fell asleep in the safety of his loving arms.

When I woke up for some reason I started to think about all of the women Billy had been with before and winced at the thought. I can’t believe we had unprotected sex. I had never done that before in my entire life. What was I thinking?

“What’s wrong? Do you regret what happened?” I could feel his body tense up when he asked me that.

“Oh no, no way. Not at all. How could you think something like that?”

“You just have this look on your face like you are unhappy about something.”

“Not unhappy. Just worried I guess. You’ve been with a lot of girls and we were so caught up in the moment, we didn’t exactly play it safe.”

“No Stacy, I never.”

“Oh my God. Don’t try that with me. I know I’m not your first. I’ve seen you with other girls before!”

“No, I mean I have never been with anyone else without protection before you.”

“Seriously? Never in your entire life?”

“I’m serious. And you?”

“Never. I have always been safe. I have only been with one other guy besides Jeromy but still always, always, always. I’m so safe I am even on the pill and still use condoms.”

Billy laughed but I was serious. I had never been so irresponsible before. Still, it worried me. But then again what’s done is done. I can’t exactly go back and change the past so no point in obsessing about it. We’ll just have to be more careful in the future.

Billy kissed me on the forehead and headed to the bathroom to get ready for the show. I looked into the mirror at my black eye and told him that I didn’t think it was a good idea that I went with him tonight.

He pulled me in to give me a hug and sighed. “Okay. I want you to stay near Vin tonight, though. Promise me you won’t be out of his sight for even a moment.” I hated how overprotective everyone was sometimes, but considering all that had gone on lately I knew it was probably for the best.

After Billy left I lay on the couch staring at the television, but not really watching what was on. I couldn’t get my mind off of what had happened earlier that day. I was still upset that Jeromy had cheated on me, but happy that I had finally given in to my desire for Billy. I loved Jeromy, I truly did and what he had done hurt, but being with Billy just felt right. Just thinking of him made me blush.

I jumped off of the couch and Vin’s eyes met mine. “What’s on your mind, little lady?”

“I want to go to Rowdy’s and see Billy.”

Vin looked at the large bruise on my face. “You sure that’s such a good idea?”

I put my hand to my face, almost forgetting about the mark that Jeromy had left on me. “I can cover it. You forget we girls have makeup that can cover almost anything.” Sadly there was no makeup in the world that was going to truly cover up that mess of a bruise on my face but I did my best.

By the time we got to the bar, Jessie’s Girl was already on stage. Billy was speaking to the crowd of fans that surrounded the stage.

“This song is for a special someone that I just can’t seem to get off of my mind. She couldn’t be here with us tonight. She’s at home right now but she’s on my mind every minute and this song is for her.”

At this point the crowd cheered loudly. Billy, I suppose, thought they were cheering about his talk about me. But what he didn’t know was that I was sneaking up behind him.

Bree and Mindy, who were standing next to a smiling Zander, started bouncing up and down excitedly. I shook my head no and put my finger to my lips and shushed them. I didn’t want them letting Billy know I was there yet. I glanced towards Travis and found even Darla and Starla were smiling back at me.

The cheers of the crowd were deafening. The band started playing but had I not been standing right there watching them play their instruments, I don’t know that I would have been able to hear them.

The way Billy sang, “Another day is going by. I'm thinking about you all the time. But you're not here. And I'm waiting all alone,” gave me goose bumps.

I stood off to the side of the stage mesmerized by his singing, waiting for the perfect moment to let him know I was here. I had always loved this song and probably heard him sing it fifty times but tonight I couldn't remember any of it. It was like my body had left my mind as I stood there just watching Billy onstage.

When the tempo picked up just a tiny bit, I took a step onto the stage, thinking that was a good time to join Billy, by his side. The crowd screamed in joy. Their cheers scared me and for a moment I froze. I took a step back, realizing now probably wasn’t that perfect time.

Billy was still oblivious to what was going on behind him. The song slowed down and he softly spoke into the microphone: “I close my eyes and all I see is you. My mind races and all I want is you.”

I knew the song was almost over so as he sang the last part, I made my way onto the stage. When the drums banged out the last part of the song, I put my hands around his waist. He whipped around, wondering who was touching him and a huge smile came over his face as he saw it was me.

The noise and jostling coming from the crowd at that point was getting out of control. I glanced down and wondered if they were going to rush the stage. Vin, Rocco, and Devin must have thought the same thing because they began to close in on me as I stood locked in Billy’s arms, kissing him passionately.

He pulled his head back, looked at me for just a moment, smiled and then picked me up. I wrapped my legs around his waist and laid my head on his chest. With all the noise around me I couldn’t hear his heartbeat but I could feel it.

With Vin, Rocco, and Devin clearing the way, Billy walked me to a room in the back of the bar. It was a locker room, where the waitresses stored their purses and personal belongings while they were working.

I glanced back as the door shut and saw that Vin, Rocco, and Devin had positioned themselves in front of it, standing guard. I didn’t really give them much thought though. I was too wrapped up in being there with Billy.

In the back of my mind I knew there were two hundred cheering fans in just the other room but at that moment, I didn’t really care. It was almost as if that made what we were doing all that more erotic. Those people out there were cheering for us. They were in love with our love and that was exciting.

He slid my dress up around my waist and ground his hips into mine while mine were coming up to meet his downward thrusts, each motion coordinated perfectly. The sensation was absolutely incredible.

Soon after we had finished, while Billy still held me tightly in his arms, there was a quiet tap on the door. Billy pulled away and I put my dress, which had been pushed up around my waist back down. Billy looked back at me and I shook my head no. I still couldn’t find my panties. After I did and quickly got them back on, he opened the door. It was Trista standing there with her trusty makeup bag in hand.

She didn’t say anything to Billy, just glared at him and then came over to me. “Here sit down and let me fix you. We can’t have you go back out there looking like a hot mess.”

She touched up my makeup and did her magic with my hair and then Billy led me by the hand back onstage with Vin, Devin, and Rocco walking around us, as if to block others from getting too close.

Since my first appearance on the stage nearly incited a riot, Vin didn’t feel comfortable with me being back onstage, at least not front and center, so instead he sat me off to the side on a bar stool, with a wall behind me, where he felt he had more control over my surroundings. He did let me have my tambourine to play with though, so at least that was something.

Billy’s first choice of songs when we returned probably wasn’t the best thought out. My entire body blushed as he sang, “Your love consumes me. Your heart, your passion, you desire to have me. I love the sound of your voice and the way we touch. Your love consumes me. Sometimes it’s all too much.”

I was so embarrassed. I knew it was just a song but still, it seemed so personal considering what we had done just moments ago in the back room. Did he really have to sing this song, of all songs, afterwards?

The crowd loved every minute of it. And Trista loved that because to her those whoops and hollers and deafening cheers meant more bookings and to her that is what all of this was about. If she could make this band huge, a worldwide sensation, she could hand pick any PR job she wanted with probably any company she desired. A fact she constantly reminded us of.

After playing a few more songs, their set was over and it was time for us to go home. I was hoping to stay for a bit and hang out with the gang but Vin wouldn’t hear of it. He had me by the arm and was dragging me out of the bar and back in the car before I knew what hit me.

Billy was home less than an hour later. He had to stay and help pack up all of the equipment. I had been waiting for him on the couch, watching TV, but dozed off. When he got back he scooped me up in his arms and carried me to bed and held me tightly as I fell into a deep slumber.

When I woke up the next morning I could hear Billy and Vin talking to Trista. She had come over to discuss the night before. Trista was excited.

“That was so insane. We booked six new gigs out of that. I couldn’t have planned the whole thing better myself. We also got you an interview on Good Morning Houston in three weeks. Can you believe all of this? It’s really happening.”

Vin spoke next. He grunted. That meant he wasn’t happy. It was a sound I was very used to hearing. “I don’t know, Trista. The more we put Billy and Stacy out there, the more we put them at risk. She’s already had two stalkers, one that died in this very house.”

I grimaced at the memory. I had done my best to block out the thought of that crazy man, but hearing Vin talk about it brought all of those memories rushing back. I looked around the bedroom, almost in a panic.

Trista’s voice was louder now. She wasn’t happy at what Vin had said to her. “That is what we hired you for, Vin. If you do your job then we won’t have these problems to worry about.”

I didn’t want them fighting over me; so I sat up and softly called out for Billy and within seconds he was by my side. He tilted his head up and let out a sexy, “Hey.”

Trista and Vin followed behind him. Trista crawled into bed with me. “You are not going to believe the reaction to last night. It literally brought our web server down when Brick posted the video of you and Billy when you surprised him on stage.” She looked at me, waiting I guess for me to respond, but when I didn’t she continued. “You have another three thousand followers on twitter too! Can you believe it? Three thousand in one day! And the picture of you jumping in Billy’s arms has already been retweeted over four hundred and fifty times!”

Again she waited for me to respond. I knew she wanted me to say something, maybe even jump for joy like she was but I couldn’t think of the right words to say. I was happy for Billy’s success. I wanted his band to have all of the success in the world. But in the back of my mind there were still those lingering thoughts of that crazy man who had died upstairs.

“Anywho,” she continued. “In three weeks you and the band are going to be on Good Morning Houston. They want to do a sit down interview with you and Billy and then after the whole band will play one song. An original.”

That made me perk up. One of the greatest things about all of the attention Billy and I were getting was that more people wanted to hear their original songs, so they didn’t always have to do covers. Billy wrote some great songs and I was glad that at least in a small part thanks to me, more people were getting to hear them.

I looked over to Billy to ask what song they were going to perform. He just shrugged. “I haven’t talked to the band yet. Trista just told me about this a few minutes ago. Everyone is on their way over now.”

I was sitting there in just a t-shirt and my panties. “I guess I better get up then.”

“Actually, if you don’t mind, I’ve called someone over to do your hair and makeup. There is a photographer coming at noon and I want you to look your best.”

“What?” I tilted my head a bit trying to figure out what she was talking about.

“Oh, hon, don’t worry. It’s nothing really. We just need to get some head shots and new band posters printed up so you can sign them at the shows.”

By the time I got out of the shower, Trista had already laid the clothes out on the bed that she wanted me to wear. It was a dress Jeromy had gotten me when we first came to Houston with the feather top and white tulle skirt. I put my hand to my ears, remembering the diamond dangling earrings Jeromy had gotten me as well. I sighed as I wondered if it would be appropriate for me to wear them today. They did match the dress and shoes that went with this dress so perfectly. I took a deep breath and walked over to my jewelry box now sitting on top of Billy’s long dresser and pulled them out. I ran my fingers over the little diamond chips and thought about Jeromy and how horribly things had ended with us.

He was still calling me non-stop and sent me a large number of text messages, but I didn’t bother to answer any of them. There was no point. There was nothing left to say. It wasn’t just that he lied to me and cheated on me. I was with Billy now and that’s who I wanted to be with, who I wanted to be with for a while now.

I did my best to shake off my guilt about Jeromy and walk back over to the bed to look at my pretty white dress. I did love it and since that first night I hadn’t had the chance to wear it again.

I still wasn’t dressed and had just a towel wrapped around my body; I had only had time to put on my bra and panties before Trista came bursting into the room.

“Throw this t-shirt on and some shorts.” She made her way to my dresser as she looked for some shorts she approved while I looked at the t-shirt she had handed at me. She had printed up t-shirts with the band’s name on them.

It was a simple black t-shirt with the band’s name in red raised lettering, outlined in white, in grunge-type lettering. It was actually a really cute shirt. I put it on as she turned her head to go through my dresser drawers. She pulled out a pair of my white jean shorts. They were short and hung low off of my hips. I eyed Trista warily as she handed them to me to put on. Trista may seem like she’s being nice and helping me get ready but I know her, I know she always has some other agenda.

“Hey listen. I know how you are and I know you are going to put on those huge white socks you like to wear around the house so at least these shorts will match.”

She was right. I did love wearing my comfy white Polo socks and as soon as I got my shorts on, I put my socks on next and made my way to the kitchen where the rest of the gang was waiting.

There was an annoying, all-knowing smirk on Travis' face. I really wanted to smack it off of him but I resisted the temptation. Instead I walked over to Billy and kissed him.

Billy handed me a bagel smeared with cream cheese. I put it in my mouth, loving every bite while Darla sniped, “How can you eat that thing? That’s just way too many carbs.” I didn’t listen.

In the living room Trista had large tables set up, and sent the girls in to sit at them to have our hair and makeup done. After our makeup was fully on, Brick came in with the camera. He staged various shots of the women putting our makeup on, as if they were just doing it, when in fact our faces were already fully made up.

He said he would overlay the band singing Jessie’s Girl to the video before putting it online. After we finished getting our hair done we lined up for our shots with the band wearing the new branded t-shirts. These photos were more casual and playful. Trista even let me keep my comfy socks on.

After a few group shots, Trista sent the girls to go change into their dresses. Me, however, she kept behind. Billy was seated and the other guys stood around him. I wasn’t sure where I should go but it turns out they wanted me in various places, like on Billy’s lap, learning into Zander while he held his guitar, spread out while each of them held various parts of my body like I was a surfboard and a few of me standing behind Billy.

Eventually Billy jumped up and threw me over his shoulder and everyone laughed as he carried me off. Billy put me back on the ground when we got to his bedroom door. “And here I thought we were going to have a hard time convincing you to do these photos.”

I giggled and then went into the bedroom with the other girls to change into my next outfit. After I had slipped into my pretty white dress my phone rang. I half expected it to be Jeromy, but it wasn’t. It was my mother.

“Hi Mommy!”

“Don’t hi mommy me! What is this video I am seeing of you? Did you have sex with that boy in the club?”

Oh my God. My mother had seen the video of Billy and me from last night. My mind began to race, trying to come up with something to say. How could I possibly explain away what had happened? She would never understand. I still don’t understand. My hands started to shake and as I looked at them I flashed back to last night when I had been frightened by the crowd. That’s when the story came to me.

“Mother! Don’t be ridiculous. Of course I didn’t. How could you think that?”

“Because Stacy, I’m looking at the video right here in front of me.” She was mad, more than mad. I don’t think I’ve ever heard her this upset with me before.

“Then you aren’t seeing what you think you are. Yes, it’s true he carried me off stage and to the back room, but if you look you’ll see three other large men following close behind. The crowd was getting a little worked up so they rushed me into the back room for my own safety. I had started to cry a bit and was shaky and Billy just wanted to get me away from all the noise and madness.”

I took a deep breath and continued.

“What you don’t see in the highly edited video, Mother, is after Billy got me to safety, Trista came in and touched up my hair and makeup and then we made our way back on stage. Look at the video carefully. You’ll see my hair and makeup looks better after than it did before. How do you explain that? Wouldn’t it have looked worse if I was in the back being naughty?”

“Stacy, I’m sorry. It’s just from the way the video made it look ....”

I lowered my voice and continued. “I know, Mother. I really do. I’ve talked to Brick about that before. He’s a perv. He likes to make things seem the way that they aren’t. I will talk to Billy and Trista about him again. I don’t like what he does any more than you do. I’m sorry if the video upset you, but please trust me a little more than that. I’m not going to get drunk and run around the stage naked. You know I’m not that way.”

“I just worry about you, being so far away from home, dear.”

“I know, but ... well, I hate to cut this call short but I’m in the middle of a photo shoot and they need me back out there. Can I call you later?”

“Sure. Just please remember to use your head and think before you do anything you might later regret.”

“I promise, Mother.” As I said those words my mind went to the thought of what Billy and I had actually done in the back room of the bar, not just the cover story I had told my mother. I sighed. I don’t want my mother to worry about me and I don’t want her to think badly of me. Maybe I shouldn’t have done that. Maybe things around here have been getting to out of hand lately. I’m not that kind of girl. Well, at least I wasn’t. What is it about being here in Houston that makes me lose my common sense and good judgment?

After I hung up the phone, I finished getting dressed. The other girls were waiting on me. When we came back out of the bedroom all dressed up in our fancy clothes, Trista had them touch up my hair and makeup. I had become a tad disheveled.

It wasn’t long before Trista had me positioned in Billy’s arms, smiling for the cameras with the rest of the gang. All of the girls were dressed to the nines. And the boys, well, they were in their usual jeans and t-shirts.

Billy leaned in and whispered in my ear, “I love you.” I looked up at him and smiled as he squeezed me tightly. This was the first time he had ever said that to me. My heart skipped a beat as I thought about those precious words. I know it was soon but it really wasn’t. We had been building up to our first embrace for a while and in that time had become really close. God, I have been in love with him for a while and I just didn’t realize it until now.

The cameras continued to snap photos but I didn’t care. When I was in Billy’s arms, he had a way of making me think of nothing else but him. After a few different poses everyone was starting to get restless. Finally Trista released us, telling us she got the perfect shot for our poster. It turned out to be the shot of me looking up at Billy smiling at the moment I realized that I was in love with him too.

I had felt love before. I loved Jeromy. But it wasn’t the same way that I felt for Billy. With Billy it was a deep, passionate love that bored into the very depths of my soul. It was as if fate had drawn us together and no matter how hard we tried to resist, we were going to somehow, some way be brought together as if it were decreed from the heavens above.

With Jeromy it was about the sex. It always had been that way with us. I couldn’t keep my hands off of Jeromy when we were together. There was no time to second guess the value of our relationship because if we were together, and we were always together, we were having sex, mind blowing sex. He was great in bed, strong and aggressive. You couldn’t help but get caught up in his passion.

But with Billy it is so much more. First he was my friend, a truly caring friend that I learned to depend on and trust. Then came the sex, but different than how it had been with Jeromy. Billy’s body felt like it was made to be with mine. We just physically connected in such a way that I felt like for the first time in my life I knew what it meant to make love.

But even before things got that far, things with Billy were different. We had intimate moments together without having to have sex. He knew how to make me feel loved without making love to me.

He also made an effort to include me in his life, even if I protested, not wanting to go on stage and be the center of attention. Billy at least tried to include me in his life whereas Jeromy, if we weren’t having sex or he wasn’t buying me things, we had nothing else together. He didn’t really even like to talk about work. He made me feel like a burden so many times. I hated that feeling. I wanted to be my own person but he made me feel guilty because then I wouldn’t have enough time to be there for him when he got home from work. And since he made all of the money, I felt I had to do things his way.

Realizing how much I had been standing here obsessing about all of this, I tried to force the thoughts out of my mind. Now wasn’t the time to obsess about Billy and Jeromy. I could think about that later when there weren’t so many people around. Still the guilt about Jeromy was strong. Billy was his best friend.

“I guess my sister was right, sometimes the worst thing you can do is fall in love.”

That last part I didn’t realize I had said out loud, soft but still audible. “What?” Billy asked.

“Oh I’m sorry, nothing. It was just something my sister used to say. It’s nothing. Really. Let’s go over and see the pictures. The photographer has his camera hooked up to his laptop, showing Brick and Trista how the shots turned out.”

We walked over to the photographer to check out the pictures. They were all great. Darla and Starla really knew how to work the camera. They never took their eyes off of Travis. They gave him a sort of we are going to take you right here and now look in every single photo.

I started to think how Billy’s little four man band had grown so dramatically. Besides the sound engineer, manager and website guy who had been there before me, there was now me and the rest of the girls who joined him onstage for every performance. Their gang now had twelve people and that didn’t even include the three bodyguards. It was a huge group but it felt so right. We all just clicked and things fell perfectly into place. We were all one big happy family, despite a few members who may annoy me at times. I glared over to Travis and then to Brick. Okay maybe we weren’t one big happy family all the time, but we definitely had our moments.

I was completely lost in that thought when I heard a loud thump outside. The room fell silent as everyone wondered what the noise was. Mindy grabbed my left hand and squeezed tightly. I looked down at her hands that were now shaking uncontrollably. The girls began to scream and the situation quickly got out of hand. I couldn’t hear Billy but I see him mouthing the words “get them out of here” as he made his way to the backyard where they thought the noise might have come from.

Devin scooped all of the screaming girls up in his big arms, a couple at a time, and scooted them towards the safe room, one of the newest additions to the house. Billy had the room added on after the last attack. At the time I thought he was just being way too overprotective but now I was really glad he did it.

I didn’t go with the other girls into the room. Devin had somehow missed me and I stood there frozen in fear, looking around me, taking in all of the madness.

Billy looked back just before he walked out the door and again, I couldn’t hear a word he said but I could see him mouthing” “Noooo” as he ran towards me. He didn’t get to me before Vin had picked me up and threw me into the safe room and once inside, Trista slammed her hand down on the large red button. I stood in front of the big door that shut before me and listened to the steel rods latch in place, one by one, securing the room; making it near impossible for anyone to get through the door.

When the last one clicked, the lights above us began to flicker on. I turned around to look at the room which was now coming to life. The girls stood huddled together, too scared to move, too scared to make any noise. Still you could hear soft whimpering coming from them. It didn’t really matter though. The room had been made soundproof so as to not give away our location.

The bad part about the soundproofing was that we could no longer hear what was going on outside, something I desperately wanted to know. I needed to know. Not knowing was just too much pressure. I started to panic. I could feel my heart beating louder and faster. I took slow deep breaths trying to regain my composure. I didn’t want to pass out. I needed to keep it together, not only for Billy but for all the other girls who were in here with me right now, scared out of their minds.

Hearing the soft whimpers coming from the girls all huddled together, I turned to face them and when I did, I remembered the cameras Billy had put in this room. There was no sound but we could see almost every part of the house from here. I started flicking switches and as I did the cameras came to life and the screens lit up showing us different spots. There was a shot of the gate, of the front door, of the back door, of the side of the yard near the terrace where the last crazy guy had appeared. There were a few cameras in the house including the kitchen, the foyer, the living room and one in the upstairs hall.

Swarms of police soon arrived and did as the boys were, walking around every inch of the house inside and out looking for an intruder.

Kita, who was locked in the safe room with us, told us what she had seen when she was coming home from the grocery store. There was a man with a large knife, like a machete, coming out from around the corner of the house. The loud thump we heard was the man jumping the fence getting to the backyard or perhaps Kita running her car into the house. She was so freaked out by what she had seen, she wasn’t paying attention and told us that she bumped the car into the wall.

I couldn’t understand how the alarm didn’t go off. I thought they had long since secured the grounds. We eyed the cameras carefully, looking over every inch of the house and yard we could see.

Eventually the search of the grounds was called off and the door to the safe room opened. Still cautious, we made our way out of the room and ran into the arms of the men waiting for us, to comfort and reassure us.

But in a way it was a false sense of security because out there somewhere was a crazy man with a big knife, waiting for his opportunity to get back in. It might not be today, it might not even be next week, but one day, I knew he would try again.

That night Billy and I made the news again. The story was about our intruder but still Trista delighted in the fact that they mentioned us playing at Rowdy’s this Thursday and Friday night.

As expected the bar was packed; it was standing room only. Vin hated every minute of it and made sure that he, Devin, and Rocco never left my side the entire time. While at times in the past I liked to give him a hard time about how much he watched over me, after the incident with the machete-wielding psycho, I stayed as close to him as I could, just in case.

Things between Billy and me were great. Our love was new and exciting and the more we were swept up in each other's bliss, the more our fans seemed to follow along and revel in it as well.

I guess to some it might seem strange how we lived our lives in the public eye, tweeting pictures of us having breakfast together or shots of him throwing me in the pool, something he enjoyed all too much. There really was no part of our life that was off limits, at least not in the minds of Brick and Trista.

They captured and broadcast every tender moment that they could. Minus that, to me our lives were perfect. I don’t think that I had ever been as happy in my life. I was definitely in the love bubble, completely unaware of anything else going on around me. I was happy. Billy was happy. We were together and that was all that mattered to me.

I even somehow found a way to ignore all the girls that would fall over themselves just to get a look at Billy while he was onstage and the swarms of girls that tried to touch him when he wasn’t.