The Summer I Learned to Dive

Chapter 13

They were dressed up again, holding Tupperware dishes in their hands.

“Where are you off to?” I asked.

“Just seeing an old friend,” she said.

“Can I come?” I asked. I wanted to spend more time with them. Plus, I was curious about this friend they saw every Sunday: this friend that they brought food to and made a point to dress up for.

“No honey, but thanks for asking.”

“I don’t get to see you and Grandpa much anymore,” I said. Since I had made friends, my social calendar had filled up.

“I know. But you’ve made friends and that’s what people your age should be doing, not hanging out with two old coots,” she said and smiled.

“You are not old. Grandpa may be, but you aren’t,” I joked.

“What am I?” my grandfather asked walking in on us.

“Old,” Nana replied.

“Tell me something I don’t know,” he said.

“We’ll be back later today,” she said before they walked out the door.

***

Time had flown quickly. As each day passed, I felt closer to my grandparents like there had never been a distance in time between us. Talking and being around Jesse felt natural, like breathing. Our conversations were fluid, seamless without a lull or lack of words. Sometimes if he gently touched my hand, my nerves would react erratically feeling as if butterflies were flying in my stomach or the wind suddenly had been knocked out of me. I wondered when these crazy reactions would stop.

Grandpa sat on the swing sipping sweet tea. It was late in the afternoon. The house was empty and quiet. I looked outside the front door, the sun was setting. I stood inside behind the screen door. “Where’s Nana?” I asked.

“She’s decorating for the dance tonight,” he said. He took a sip of his tea and wiped sweat off of his brow.

“Oh, I forgot about the dance,” I said. Nana had talked about it for weeks, but somehow it had slipped my mind.

“It’s not too bad out here right now,” he said. I opened the screen door and walked over to him. He motioned to the empty space next to him on the swing.

I sat down next to him. We silently swayed. He offered me some tea. I took a sip and handed him back the glass.

“Your father loved sitting out here,” he said.

“Really?” I asked interested.

“He’d stay out here for hours,” he chuckled lightly. “He and your mother would neck out here you know. Course they never thought we knew, but we knew.” He raised his eyebrows at me and nodded his head. “He would have slept out here if he could.” He smiled to himself.

I sat down next to him. “My mother never told me much about him. There’s so much I want to know,” I said.

He didn’t respond. He looked thoughtful. We rocked gently on the swing, going back and forth and back and forth again.

“What was he like as a child?” I asked.

He looked at me. “He was a precocious boy, always into something. He was good at everything. He played sports, the guitar, he could do it all,” he said.

“I’m not like that,” I said and sighed.

“You’re smart though, real smart. Like him,” he said.

“Thanks. You’re smart, too, Grandpa.” I said reassuringly.

He laughed. “Well, I’m not book smart like you are, but I wasn’t just let off the turnip truck either.”

I looked at him confused. He laughed again.

“Do you miss him?”

“I miss the good times we had together. And there were a lot of those. But I try not to think about it. It doesn’t do you any good in life to dwell on things from the past. The best thing you can do is move forward, not backward.” He patted my hand gently.

“I’m glad I came here,” I said.

He looked at me and smiled. “I am too, Finn. You’ve made Nana and I very happy. You’ve given us our life back,” he said. We swayed gently with the breeze. A hummingbird fluttered near us, flying quickly with the sole intent on finding food. I stared at it and then looked at my grandfather who was watching me.

“You’re the spitting image of him. Sometimes when I’m looking at you, I think I’m looking at him,” he revealed. He looked at his watch and slowly got up. “We’ve got a square dance to go to.” He held his hand out to me and I took hold of it.

I looked at him bewildered. “We?” I asked.

“If I have to go, then you do, too.” He was smirking.

“I don’t dance,” I admitted.

“You’ll learn. Maybe Jesse can teach you. He taught you to dive,” he said with an impish grin. I blushed slightly and followed him into the house. “Go on get dressed, we’ve got to leave soon,” he said walking up the stairs towards his room.

***

The square dance was exactly where I expected it to be. I found myself walking into an old barn, illuminated with white lights. Beautiful flower bouquets were in the center of each small table. A stage had been set up. A band was playing music and some people were already dancing. There was a buffet table full of an endless array of food and drinks. It wasn’t quite past six o’clock in the evening and the place was already packed. Everyone was dressed in country attire—the ladies in frilly dresses with pouffy skirts, the men in smartly pressed dress shirts and cowboy hats. People were square dancing, laughing, having a good time. This definitely was a popular event for the town.

We saw Nana and walked over to her. “Finn, you look beautiful,” she said. She kissed my grandfather on the cheek. “I see you cleaned up, too,” she said to him smiling. He was wearing khaki pants and a polo shirt. We were the only two in the barn dressed in normal clothes.

“Thanks Nana. He didn’t tell me I needed to dress up for the hoe down,” I said. I looked at my jeans, emerald green button up blouse and brown flip flops. I felt out of place.

“You look great,” she said. She squeezed my hand. “Your grandfather owes me a dance. We’ll be back,” she said grabbing a hold of his hand, leading him to the dance floor. I watched them dance as I stood shyly against the wall. I didn’t know anyone and felt too uncomfortable to make small talk. I fidgeted, playing with my hair nervously. I looked around the room and saw Jesse talking to some people. He smiled at me and walked over to me.

“Having fun?” Jesse asked.

“Yeah, sure.” I lied. “I didn’t think you’d be here, too,” I said.

“Everyone comes to this dance,” he said. “It’s an annual event.” He grinned.

“Oh,” I said bobbing my head, unconsciously moving to the beat of the music.

“Do you want to dance?” he asked.

“That’s okay,” I said.

He looked at me peculiarly. “What?” I asked.

“Let me guess. You don’t dance,” he said, his arms folded.

“I dance. I took ballet for a year,” I said.

“It’s not the same,” he said.

I rolled my eyes at him. He laughed. I was tempted to stick my tongue out at him, but kept myself from doing so. Instead, I stood there silently. Unexpectedly, he grabbed a hold of my hand. “Come on,” he said walking in haste toward the dance floor giving me no time to resist.

“I don’t want to dance, Jesse,” I said attempting to release his hold of my hand although I wanted to keep holding onto to it.

“Just try one dance. If you don’t like it, I’ll leave you alone the rest of the night,” he said smiling, so sure of himself.

“Promise?” I said but I didn’t want him to.

“My word of honor,” he said moving his hand to his heart. I followed his lead and danced with him. He was right, it was fun, more fun than I expected. And it wasn’t difficult to grasp either. I kept my eyes on him, imitating what he did and it was easy to keep up.

The tempo changed when the band began playing a slower song. People left the dance floor leaving couples only. I looked at Jesse unsure of what to do. He took a hold of my hand and moved me closer to him. He placed one hand on my back and continued holding my hand with his other. We swayed slowly back and forth. I smelled his cologne; it was sweet, musty almost, like the outside. I leaned my head against his muscular chest. I tried to control my breathing. My heart was beating rapidly. I hoped that my palms did not start sweating. They usually did when I was nervous.

“Your hair smells good,” he said, I could feel his breath on my head.

“Thanks,” I said anxiously.

“It smells like flowers,” he said. “You’re having fun dancing, aren’t you?” he asked almost smugly. He knew my answer before I could even utter it.

“Yes,” I said rolling my eyes.

“Told you,” he laughed. The song changed and we stopped dancing. “Are you hungry?” he asked.

“A little,” I admitted. I hadn’t eaten in several hours and my stomach was growling.

He led me to the buffet table and handed me a plate. We each filled up our plates with food. He poured tea into two cups and handed me one. “There’s a spot over there,” he said motioning to empty chairs toward the back of the barn. We sat down and started eating. I didn’t talk much; I was nervous but didn’t understand why. We had been around each other for weeks but somehow, being with him at a dance made it feel like a date and I was very inexperienced in that area. I didn’t know what the proper protocol was—how to act, what to say. Thinking more about it made me even more nervous.

“Save room for dessert,” he said and laughed. I instantly blushed.

I looked at him, embarrassed realizing that I had just made myself look like a pig. I had cleaned my plate in the same amount of time that he had eaten a few bites of his. I wiped my mouth with a napkin and took a sip of my sweet tea.

“I’ve never been to a dance like this,” I admitted.

“They probably don’t have a lot of hoe downs in Tampa,” he said. He chewed on some food.

“No.” I shook my head. “I’ve never been to a dance,” I said unabashed.

“Oh,” he said reflecting. “Well, it’s good you finally got the chance to go to one then.”

“Have you been to one before?” I asked, curious about other girls he may have danced with.

“Sure.” He shrugged. “I went to my senior prom with the most boring date. You’re much better company.” He nudged me lightly sending an electric current directly from my arm to my heart. Was he indicating that I was his date?

“Thanks,” I said blushing.

As he finished his meal, I watched the other people dancing. “Do you want to dance again?” he asked.

“Yes,” I said too eagerly. I wanted to be close to him, to hold his hand again.

He took my plate and cup and threw them in the trash can. I followed him to the dance floor. We danced with each other the rest of the night, having fun and forgetting time. It felt like it was just the two of us out on the dance floor. I forgot about everyone else.

The evening came to an abrupt end, too soon for me. Most of the people had left and we were still on the dance floor, holding on to each other, swaying back and forth to the slow tempo. The band promised one last song for those of us left. It was a slow song, perfect for that moment. Jesse took my hands and lifted them up, gently wrapping them around his warm neck. He placed his hands on my hips and we swayed gently back and forth to Bob Dylan’s Forever Young. We looked into each other’s eyes, and in that moment, he took my breath away. The song ended too soon. I wanted the moment to last forever. I hoped that the image would be plastered in my mind for a lifetime. I unwrapped my hands from around his neck and let them drop to my hips. He took one of my hands and held it, lacing my fingers with his. It was the first time he had held my hand like that and I didn’t want to let go. We walked toward Nana. She saw us and smiled, her eyes focused on our hands. She gave me a quick wink.

“Jesse, will you take Finn home for me? I have to stay and help clean up,” she said. But most of the cleaning had been done already. I didn’t see much for her to do.

“Sure,” he said and smiled at me. I tried not to look too eager but deep down I was excited I would have the chance to be alone with him again.

“Where’s Grandpa?” I asked looking around the barn.

“Oh, he snuck out a couple of hours ago,” she laughed. “He always does that. Thanks again, Jesse.” It was her way of saying go on.

Jesse and I walked outside. The perfect gentleman, he unlocked my door and opened it for me first. I leaned over and unlocked his door for him.

“Thanks,” he said sitting down. I caught another whiff of his cologne. He smelled earthy and sweet. I inhaled slightly, just enough to capture his fragrance. He started the ignition and we were on our way. He turned on the radio. I hummed along.

“It’s so pretty here,” I said.

“Yeah, it is. But this is nothing compared to Dixon State Park,” he said.

“Where’s that?” I asked.

“It’s about twenty miles from here. It’s beautiful, lots of waterfalls and great hiking trails. We should go,” he offered. I wondered if he was asking me on a date.

“Yeah. That would be great,” I said.

“How about on Monday?” he asked.

“Okay,” I said trying to quell my excitement.

“Great. I’ll pick you up about nine in the morning,” he said. “You’ll want to wear tennis shoes, not flip flops,” he said pointing to my feet and smiled.

Just then, his phone rang. “Hello?” he answered. I saw his forehead crease, his facial expression change. He looked stressed. “I’ll be there soon,” he said and hung up. He sighed heavily.

“What’s wrong?” I asked. I could feel the tension.

He shook his head, “It’s nothing.” I could tell he was lying. It was something, something major. His whole demeanor changed as soon as he took that phone call.

“Is something wrong?” I asked but I knew the answer. The answer was yes and it probably had to do with his father. He didn’t answer me. He stayed focused, looking at the road ahead. He put his hand up to his forehead and rubbed it across his face.

“Is it your dad?” I pressed. I was probably taking it too far, asking too many questions, but I wanted to know. I wanted to help. He looked at me quickly and then back at the road.

“It’s nothing. Just stay out of it,” he said abrasively.

“I’m sorry,” I said somberly. “I just want to help,” I added quietly.

He sighed. “I appreciate it but there’s nothing you can do. That phone call…that was not the first time I’ve gotten a call like that. It’s one of thousands. He’s too drunk to drive home. So you know what?”

I didn’t answer him.

“They call me to come pick him up. It’s a regular thing, picking up my drunk dad and putting him to bed. So when I say it’s nothing, I mean it because it has become such a routine that it has become nothing,” he said, his voice raised. He hit the steering wheel with his fist and cursed loudly. I flinched. He saw me and immediately put his hand on my shoulder.

He pulled the car over to the side of the road and turned the engine off. “Finn, I’m sorry I scared you,” he said looking at me.

“It’s okay,” I said trying to smile, trying to shrug it off.

“No, it’s not. I’m just mad and it wasn’t fair to take it out on you. It’s just so frustrating sometimes.”

“I don’t know what to say or what to do,” I said.

He lightly touched my hand. “You don’t have to say anything. You’re being a good friend right now by listening.”

I placed my hand on his and clasped my fingers around it. He smiled at me. “Let me get you home before your grandparents worry.” He started the engine and started driving. He turned the radio up, loud enough so we couldn’t talk. He didn’t want to talk about it and I needed to respect that. Nothing more was said until we reached my grandparents.

“I’ll see you Monday,” he said as I unbuckled my seat belt and opened the car door. I looked at him confused. “Nine o’clock, right?” He asked double checking.

“Yeah, I didn’t know if you still wanted to,” I said.

“Of course I do. I’ll see you later,” he said. I smiled at him and closed the car door. I walked toward the front door and turned around. He was in his car waiting for me to get in the door, watching me get in the house safe and sound, protecting me. It hurt knowing I couldn’t protect him from what he was about to deal with.

“Did you have a good time tonight?” Grandpa asked me. He was sitting in a chair, reading the newspaper. I sat down across from him on the couch.

“It was fun,” I smiled.

“You danced a lot with Jesse,” he added.

I blushed. “Yes.”

“He’s a nice boy,” he continued.

“I know,” I smiled too broadly. I couldn’t help it. I liked Jesse and had no way of containing those feelings for him.

He laughed noticing my red complexion. “Don’t get embarrassed.”

“Grandpa,” I pleaded. “I’m going to bed,” I said before the topic could be further discussed.

“Are you two going out again?” He asked loudly.

“Yes,” I sighed as I stood on the stairs. “We’re going to Dixon Park in a couple of days.”

He nodded in approval. “Good,” he said. I walked quickly up the stairs, embarrassed that I had just discussed my love life with my grandfather.