The Summer I Learned to Dive

Chapter 11

Meg lay in his back seat, passed out. I continued to turn my head, hoping for a sign of life. “She’ll be out for a while, Finn,” he said staring straight ahead. I quit turning my head toward the back of the car and looked at him. I placed my fingers to my temples, my head ached.

“My head hurts,” I said.

“It’s from the alcohol,” he answered. “I can’t believe you drank and went to this stupid party,” he continued, his tone sounding as if he were disgusted. He was angry with me but I didn’t understand why.

“I didn’t drink that much,” I said but it wasn’t much of defense. “Why are you so mad?” I asked.

He breathed heavily and turned to face me. “Because drinking like that is stupid. Those aren’t good people and you could have gotten hurt. Look at Meg. If we hadn’t gone in there, something could have happened. You’re too smart to do something this stupid,” he said angrily.

I titled my head down, looking at my hands, feeling ashamed and embarrassed. It was true. What I had done was stupid but he didn’t have to judge me so harshly. Why did he care anyway? He started the ignition and began to drive.

“Where are we taking Meg?” I finally asked. I spoke quietly, afraid of the tension.

“To my house. I can’t take her home. Her parents would kill her if she came home like this. I’ll take you home on the way,” he said.

I shook my head. “No, I’m going with you.”

“No way. Your grandparents would be too worried about you.”

“Not if they think I’m staying at her house. I’m going with you. I’m not leaving her like this,” I said emphatically.

“Fine. I give up.” He sighed heavily. “Call your grandparents and lie to them then. I don’t like it.” He shook his head in disappointment.

“No one asked for your approval,” I said annoyed. I took out my phone and dialed their number. Nana answered. It was the first time I had ever lied to her and it felt completely wrong. But it would have felt worse leaving Meg in that condition. I hung up and leaned my aching head back against the head rest.

“You feel guilty,” he said.

“Yeah, really guilty. I’ve never lied to her before and now I feel awful,” I said.

“Well, at least you have a conscious,” he said. We drove the rest of the way in silence. He pulled into his driveway and turned off his engine. He lived in a double wide trailer in a questionable trailer park. If Dylan was the epitome of wealth, Jesse was the epitome of poverty. Jesse stared at me. “My dad’s in there. Just try to keep it down, it’s easier that way.” He didn’t have to say anything else. I knew what he meant.

“Okay,” I said quietly and opened up the car door. He carried Meg over his shoulder and unlocked his front door. Neighbors’ dogs barked in the background. I heard a couple arguing, using several curse words, in the trailer next to his.

We walked inside. The floors creaked with each step we took. I questioned the foundation, wondering if we were going to fall through the floor at any moment. The space was small and confining, obviously inhabited by males only. Decorating was not on the agenda. The living room consisted of an old faded beige couch and two very old recliners. A few pictures from when Jesse was a kid were framed and hung on the wall. I glanced at them, seeing that even then, he was absolutely beautiful. He laid Meg down gently on the couch. She mumbled something. I stooped down and stroked her hair. “What is it Meg?” I asked in vain. She rolled over on her other side and went back to sleep. I looked at Jesse helplessly.

“She’ll be out for a while. You need coffee to sober up,” he whispered gesturing for me to follow him to his kitchen. He opened a can of coffee and poured the grounds into the filter. He poured water into the coffee maker and it began to percolate. The aroma filled the room. I inhaled slowly.

“I love the smell of coffee,” I said. “It’s nostalgic for me but I don’t know why. I didn’t start drinking it until a few years ago.”

“If only it tasted as good as it smells,” he said.

“It does,” I protested. He laughed. The coffee pot beeped. He poured me a cup and knowingly added cream and sugar.

“How’d you know?” I asked.

“I’ve seen you drink it at the diner. You have a sweet tooth.”

“Oh,” I said surprised that he had paid that much attention to me. We sat down on the yellow vinyl chairs. The wooden table was scratched and worn.

“Why’d you drink tonight?” he asked sitting across from me, his hands rested under his chin.

I shrugged. “I don’t know,” I said ashamed. “Everyone was drinking and looked like they were having a good time. I guess I wanted to try it, to see what it felt like,” I admitted.

He rolled his eyes at me.

“What?” I asked.

“You’re too smart to do something just because everyone else is,” he said and stood up. He rummaged through his refrigerator and took out a gallon milk and chocolate syrup. He poured the two into a glass and took a huge gulp. He wiped the milk mustache off and smiled. “Chocolate milk, now that’s worth drinking. But getting drunk with Dylan what does that prove?”

“I wasn’t planning to get drunk.” I said glowering at him.

“You drank so much that you couldn’t drive Meg home. That’s what I call inebriation,” he said smugly.

“Okay. You win. I concede,” I said surrendering.

“Why do you like him anyway?” he asked.

“I don’t anymore. He’s a jerk,” I said.

“I could have told you that but you didn’t ask me,” he said. He took my empty cup. “Do you want more?”

“Please,” I said. He poured me another cup and fixed himself another chocolate milk. This time, he sipped it slowly. I stared into his blue eyes. “Thanks for coming tonight.”

“It’s not a big deal, Finn. It’s what friends do for each other.” He shrugged and then asked, “Was this the first party you’ve ever been to?”

I nodded and said “Yes” quietly, feeling as if I were confessing a deep, dark secret.

He looked at me, his head titled. His eyes moved around, showing that he was in deep thought. “And you’ve never had a drink until tonight?” he asked. He leaned forward.

“No. You don’t drink either.”

“I’ve definitely been to a party and I’ve definitely had a drink or two before. I just choose not to drink for personal reasons,” he said. I knew what his personal reasons were.

“I didn’t have the quintessential teenaged experience,” I confessed. He raised his eyebrows at me and looked at me interested. “What I mean is, I spent a lot of time focused on my academics instead of on social things,” I said.

“So you were a shut in, a recluse of some sort?” he asked with a tone of sarcasm.

I rolled my eyes at him but found I couldn’t be mad, instead I laughed. “I wasn’t a shut in, Jesse. I just didn’t experience what most teens experience. I was too busy focusing on my plan,” I said.

“How’s this plan of yours working out for you?” he asked.

“It’s not. Things have... changed,” I told him. He was so easy to open up with. I couldn’t believe I was telling him so much.

“So going to this party tonight and drinking was sort of a rite of passage?”

“I guess my entire time in Graceville has become a rite of passage for me. What made you come and rescue us tonight?” I asked.

He shrugged his shoulders. “Meg’s a close friend and you sounded desperate which doesn’t surprise me considering you were at Dylan’s house.”

“I wasn’t desperate. I…”

He interrupted. “It’s okay to make a mistake every now and again as long as you learn from it,” he said.

“Well, I learned plenty tonight,” I said nearly whispering but he still heard me.

“That’s what builds character.” He smiled. I sat back. I felt comfortable with him. The conversation felt real, not strained. I blew on my coffee and took a slow sip. He stared at me pensively. “What made you realize Dylan’s a jerk?” he asked.

“He kept trying to put the moves on me,” I said disgusted.

“Put the moves on you.” He said mocking me.

I rolled my eyes at him. “You know what I mean. He wouldn’t lay off. And then he got mad at me when I didn’t reciprocate,” I said.

Jesse pondered what I said. “Doesn’t surprise me. He’s a real dick. He treated Hannah like crap. They dated last summer and then she found out he was cheating on her the entire time.” He stared at me and lightly touched my hand. “Come on, let’s go check on Meg.”

Meg lay on the couch sound asleep. She snored lightly. “Should we wake her?” I whispered to him.

“No. Let her sleep it off. It’s good she’s snoring,” he whispered.

“So what can I do then?” I asked feeling helpless.

“Nothing. She needs to sleep it off. She’ll pay plenty for it tomorrow. Do you want to play a game of checkers?” he asked.

“Checkers?” I said surprised. “I haven’t played that game since I was a kid.”

“All the more reason to play then, Finn,” he said. He grabbed it off of a shelf that was full of board games. “We’ll play in the kitchen,” he said quietly. “We won’t wake anyone in there.” I knew he was referring to his dad.

I nodded in agreement and followed him. We played checkers for a few hours. He won every game which frustrated me. What wasn’t he good at? We talked the entire game but not about anything deep, just talked. He told me stories about my grandparents, about Graceville, about growing up in a small town.

“Your grandfather was the best scout leader. He’d take us all out in the middle of the woods and we’d have so much fun camping. He’d tell the best stories and make these awesome breakfasts over the campfire,” he said and then paused. “If it wasn’t for him, I don’t know where I’d be.”

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“He kept me in line. He helped me with school, you know, kept me out of trouble. I could have gone down a different path. My dad, he tried to be a parent and he loves me, but the whole concept of parenting is foreign to him. Your grandfather helped fill those gaps,” he said.

“I had no idea,” I said suddenly aware of the importance my grandfather played in shaping Jesse’s life. For one brief moment, I felt jealous, green with envy that Jesse had my grandfather all of these years. Then my sanity came back and those feelings ceased. “I could tell you two were close. I just didn’t know how it happened,” I said.

“He loves you a lot. He’s just hard to get to know,” he said as if reading my mind.

“I’ve come to realize that,” I said sitting back in the seat, sighing.

“Be patient. He’s trying. You’re smart enough to see that,” he said.

I became really tired and yawned loudly. “It’s almost dawn,” I said. I stretched my arms out and yawned again.

“Lightweight,” he said mocking me.

“What? It’s five o’clock in the morning, Jesse,” I stated.

His eyebrows arched. “And?”

“I’ve been up for hours and I’m tired.” I yawned again.

“No sleeping yet. We’re going to watch the sunrise,” he said.

“Let me just rest my head here,” I said putting my head down on his table. He stood up suddenly and touched my pony tail. The touch of his hands to my hair caused my nerves to react erratically.

“Come on, Finn,” he said and touched my shoulder gently nudging me. “I bet you’ve never done this before, either,” he joked. My eyes answered him. He laughed. “Just what I thought. That whole plan of yours really made you miss out on things.”

I reluctantly followed him outside. We walked together in the darkness. It was hard to see what was in front of me. I blindly followed Jesse. He led me to a ledge. A chain link fence bordered the area. There was a huge gaping hole in one area of the fence. Jesse climbed through it and motioned for me to do the same.

“No way,” I shook my head.

“Come on,” he motioned.

“Are we breaking a law or something?” I asked. It felt like we were. Wasn’t the fence there for a reason? Was I trespassing and would the police be there to haul me in?

“Finnnnn,” he said. I relented and crawled through the wide whole and sat down next to him.

“Where are we?” I whispered.

“At the edge of my neighborhood. It’s the best place to see the sunrise,” he whispered back to me. We were in such close proximity, I could hear him breathing. If it had been daylight and I had seen where we were sitting and how far the fall below me was, I would have been shaking from fear. The night was so quiet. I could hear the faintest of sounds, crickets chirping and frogs croaking from miles away. My heart beat loudly and I wondered if he could hear it beating rapidly.

“Why are we doing this?” I asked.

“Because it’s something you haven’t seen before because of this plan of yours. A sunrise shows a new day has started, that whatever happened before is the past,” he said.

I nodded my head in agreement, trying to discern what he had just said. It was a profound statement. “That’s deep, Jesse,” I said sarcastically, but secretly was impressed.

“It’s true. Whatever is past, is past,” he said.

We stared into the stillness again. I nodded off and on, my eyes could not stay open. I heard him saying my name. I slowly opened my eyes, realizing I had fallen asleep, my head lay against his shoulder. I quickly lifted my head and looked straight ahead. The sun was rising; the sky was several different colors. It was stunning. The bright, circular shaped orange sun slowly crept up, out from nowhere, now an awe-inspiring presence.

“Beautiful,” I said out loud.

“See. It’s worth staying up for isn’t it?” he asked nudging me.

“Totally,” I said mesmerized. “Thanks,” I said turning to look at him.

“For what?” he asked confused.

“For helping me see what I’ve been missing,” I said smiling.

***

Jesse drove Meg and me to her car early in the morning. Meg profusely apologized to Jesse, begging him to forgive her. She had a flare for the dramatics. “It’s not a big deal, Meg. Just promise me you’ve had your fill of Blake,” he said.

“I’m so done with him, I promise,” she said. A part of me hoped in vain that what she said was true. But another part of me knew that last night was not the end of the Meg and Blake saga. He was like a drug to her, unhealthy and addictive. I hoped that she would find her cure of him soon.

Several cars were still parked in Dylan’s yard. The party had not ended. Jesse drove us near Meg’s car. “Thanks again, Jesse,” she said before getting out.

“Thanks,” I said to him, looking at his blue eyes in the rear view mirror.

He turned around to face me. “I had fun hanging out with you,” he said.

“Me, too,” I said opening the car door.

Meg complained that she had a major head ache. She didn’t say much else. I think she was embarrassed about the night before, about how things went. I left her alone, allowing silence to dictate the mood. I didn’t notice that she hadn’t started the car yet. I guess I was too busy thinking about my night with Jesse.

“Just don’t judge me Finn,” she said breaking me from my daydream.

“Why would I judge you?” I asked surprised by her statement.

She looked at my seriously. “I love Blake. I thought we’d be together forever. It’s hard to love someone and then have your heart broken by him. Every time I see him I feel like my heart has been ripped into pieces. And then, he’ll play with my hair or kiss me and I become putty in his hands. I’ll think we’re going to be together again and then he’ll tell me we can’t,” she said, tears fell from her eyes.

“If you know this then why do you let him do it?” I asked. It had sounded harsh and I regretted saying it.

She sighed heavily. “I know. It’s stupid. I shouldn’t let him treat me this way. I still love him,” she said. “Last night was the last time though. I am through with him for good.” She sounded like she was trying to convince herself.

I nodded vacantly at her. I didn’t believe her.

“You don’t believe me,” she said.

I didn’t think it would be prudent to tell her that I didn’t. Instead, I sat silently.

“Thanks for being a good friend last night,” she finally said.

“I didn’t do anything,” I said.

“You were there for me.” She turned the car on and began driving.

“How long have you and Jesse been friends?” I asked.

“A long time... since grade school. Why?” she asked quickly glancing at me.

“Just curious,” I lied.

“He’s a really good guy,” she said and smiled at me. “I can tell he has a thing for you.”

“What? No, I was just asking that’s all,” I said but I could feel my cheeks turning red, my face felt hot.

“Sure you were,” she teased. I ignored her. “He doesn’t date too much. Lots of girls have wanted to date him. He’s just really picky. I think he’s been waiting for the right one to come along,” she said and shrugged. I wondered if I was the right one for him.