Knotted Roots

Chapter TWENTY-SEVEN



As we pulled into the almost deserted parking lot, my nerves were on edge. I could see the beach from where we were parked, the waves noisily crashing against the sand as I breathed in the salty air. I had never been to the beach before, but my first time there was sure to be memorable. I didn’t see Chase’s truck in the lot, but she had sent him a text making sure he would be there. He had replied with a simple yes only minutes before we arrived.

We got out of her car and made our way to the wooden bridge that would carry us across the sand dunes to where a group of kids our age were already set up. I could smell a fire that seemed to be burning nearby, but when we got closer I was shocked to see a huge bonfire blazing. There were logs set up all around, all of them equipped with teenagers holding red Solo cups. I shook my head as I began to imagine what they were drinking by the fire.

We stopped about ten feet away as Katy grabbed my hand. Her phone was buzzing from within her purse. She took it out and looked at the screen. After a moment she sent a short reply and replaced it in her purse. I looked at her questioningly, but she just smiled at me.

“So...I didn’t exactly tell Chase that you were with me. He’s on his way over to meet me right now. Just play it cool, okay?” She gave me a reassuring smile as she fiddled with the strap of her purse.

“Katy! Why didn’t you tell him? He’s gonna be pissed!” I threw my hands up in the air, letting them fall quickly to my side when I saw the approaching figure. His steps were fast and sure at first, and then faltered when our eyes met. He slowly made his way to us, his eyes blazing in anger.

“Katy! What’s she doing here?” he asked, jerking his thumb in my direction.

“She’s here with me. Deal with it Chase.” She stood up straighter, squaring off with him. “I thought you two should talk.”

He gave a short laugh, but there was no joy in it. “No thanks. I’ve got better things to do tonight.” He turned to leave and my instincts kicked in. I reached out and grabbed his arm, but he jerked it away, glaring at me with hate in his eyes. “Don’t. Touch. Me.”

“Chase. Please. I need to talk to you.” I would grovel if I had to. I wasn’t leaving without telling him what I felt, once and for all. “I swear, just give me a chance. If you don’t like what I have to say, I’ll never bother you again.”

He stared into my eyes, unblinking, for what felt like eternity. He finally released a sigh and his shoulders eased a little bit. “You’ve got five minutes. Speak quickly.”

I looked at Katy, who nodded, then walked towards the roaring fire. I turned my attention to Chase who was already walking away, towards the water. I followed him until we were less than a foot from the frothy water. He bent over and took off his shoes, his toes wiggling in the warm sand. He sat down, and then motioned for me to sit as well. Once we were finally both sitting, I turned to face him.

“First, I’m sorry for running away. I was scared. You caught me off guard,” I said as I clasped his hand in mine. “That’s not a good excuse, I know, but I’m hoping you understand why I was scared. We’ve only known each other a few months and yet you were already saying you love me. That’s scary as shit.”

I looked into his eyes, but the anger was still there. I hadn’t expected him to just forgive me, but I had hoped that some of his pain would have lessened with my confession. There was nothing left to do but keep going.

“It took Katy tearing me a new one for me to realize that I have been so, so stupid. You’re the best thing that has ever happened to me.” I shook my head, clearing away the fog. “I’m not the same person I was when I got here...and I have you to thank for that. You have taught me so much this summer. I don’t want to leave...but I don’t want to stay if you hate me. I couldn’t handle seeing you everywhere, knowing how you felt about me at one time...and how stupid I was to let it go.

“Please give me one last chance. I...I love you, Chase. I love you more than I’ve ever loved someone before. You are my muse, my reason, my everything. I refuse to let my doubts and fears get in the way of what I want ever again.” I took a deep breath. “This is me. Asking for one more. One more day, one more week, whatever you will give me. I want whatever you’re willing to give.”

He didn’t speak; he simply stared at our hands. His fingers didn’t rub against mine as they normally did. I held my breath, scared to take a breath for fear he would vanish, taking my heart with him. I had never spoken truer words in my life. I had laid my heart and soul at his feet with the possibility of him kicking it back at me with a snarl.

When he raised his head our eyes met and I was shocked to see tears in his eyes. I felt tongue-tied by the emotions waged across his face. I thought back to the first time we met, when my brain short circuited in his presence. He was no longer the carefree boy I imagined him to be. He was broken, just like me, but together...together we were two halves of the same whole, made complete by the other.

“Roxie...I love you. I think I always will. But I don’t know,” he said with a quivering voice. “What if you run again? I don’t think my heart can take it again.”

“I can’t promise I won’t try again. It’s all I’ve ever known. But I want to try. All I ask is that you give me the chance.” I was nearing my breaking point. If he didn’t give me this chance I would fall apart, right before his eyes. I needed this like I needed air. I couldn’t breathe without him in my life.

He let go of my hand, the loss of the feel of his skin against mine felt like the end of my life, but when his fingers found my chin, my hope was restored. He lifted my face so we were eye level with each other. His fingers stroked my chin, making their way to my lips. He ran his fingers gently over my lips, his rough skin felt heavenly against the soft skin of my mouth.

A sigh escaped my lips, the taste of his fingers lingering on my lips. When he pulled his fingers away I wanted to scream. I wanted those fingers on my skin at all times, the need gnawing at my heart. He smiled the first genuine smile of the night and my heart swelled with glee. If I could bottle my version of happy, it would be this moment. My heart was pounding with love, the excitement coursing through my body.

“I think I can handle that.” He smiled at me, his white teeth sparkling in the dark. “But I have one condition. You can’t, under any circumstances...stop...loving me.”

I laughed out loud, my voice ringing in my ears as I clambered to my knees. I threw myself at him, slamming my body into his, knocking him to the ground. We were both laughing, our faces mere inches apart. His hands encircled my waist, pulling me flush with his body. My chest was pressed against his and I could feel the steady beat of his heart, in sync with my own.

Our eyes locked together, the electricity between us humming as I glanced at his lips. They were the most beautiful lips I had ever seen on any guy. I had the sudden urge to taste them again. This time, I wouldn’t hesitate or run away. I closed the gap between us, pressing my lips against his. He immediately responded, opening his mouth as his tongue slipped out. He licked at my lips as I nipped at his bottom lip.

A groan escaped my lips as I moved on top of him. I could feel his response to me pressing persistently against me. I was feeling the same need for him, my body shaking with desire. I kissed him again, pulling his breath from his body into mine, joining our bodies together. I rubbed against him, feeling him grow even harder beneath me. He groaned and shifted me up his body, taking the pressure off of his groin.

“You’re killing me Roxie,” he said as he ran his hands up and down my sides, his fingers grazing the sides of my breasts. “We have to stop. I refuse to ‘make you a woman’ out here on the beach.” He let out a shaky laugh, his breath slowly evening out.

I laughed at him and smiled down at him. “You’re right. Where’s your truck?”

He laughed and kissed me again. “I’m a simple kind of guy, with simple morals. I won’t be taking anything like that from ya until we’re married.”

I wanted to run again, but I didn’t. I knew what he was implying, but in that moment I was okay with it. He wasn’t proposing right then, but he was honest about where he wanted this to go. I could handle that. Sure, it was still scary, but I was ready. No more running away. No more letting fear rule my life.

I rolled off of him, and curling against him, and rested my head on his shoulder. We both stared up at the clear sky above us. The stars were plentiful, sparkling in the dark sky overhead. The scene was something straight out of one of those cheesy romance movies, but at that moment, I was glad to be the reluctant heroine. There was no knight in shining armor set on rescuing me, but there was a country boy in faded denim who loved me.

In the grand scheme of things, that was enough. I didn’t need him to save me from anyone or anything except myself. He managed to mold and shape me in ways no one else had been able to. He gave me a life I never knew I wanted, blinding me with love. Was I scared of telling my parents? Hell yes. But I would do it. I wanted to shout my feelings from the rooftop of every building in Perry Point. I wanted the world to know that I had found what I’d been missing.

I had finally found what it truly meant to be home.





EPILOGUE



As I sit here on my bed, my cap and gown hanging on the back of my door, I close my eyes and take a deep breath. It’s hard to believe that in less than two hours I’ll be free of high school. I’ll be taking another step into the real world, leaving behind one more