Before You Go

The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance...

~ Alan Watts

BEFORE

Most people think he broke me the night it happened. The night he betrayed my trust and hurt me in a way I’m not sure I’ll ever recover from. But that’s not when he did it. It wasn’t his actions from that night. No, it was the next morning when my world would come crashing down—all because of some stupid stunt my friend, Megan, talked me into. And because I trusted the wrong guy.

It was the pounding on the door woke me that morning. Somehow I managed to fall asleep after I made it home from Thomas Richardson’s party. It was a defense mechanism, I think. I needed to shut down and process the events from the night.

I ignored the noise, hoping it’d go away. Unfortunately, it only got louder.

Through the peep hole in the door, I could see Thomas pacing in the hallway. My body went cold at the sight of him, completely the opposite of how he used to make me feel. Strange how one day could change everything.

“Tabby.” He moved closer to the door. “I know you’re there. Let me in.”

“No,” I told him. My voice was hoarse and weak. It made me sick to hear it.

“Look, we need to talk.” He softened his tone. “I’m sorry about last night. But you’re okay, nothing really happened. Right? It was just a party that got a little out of control.”

I whipped the door open, furious that he called what happened, nothing.

“It was more than just a little out of control, you a*shole,” I screamed.

“Shhh.” Thomas ran his hand down my arm to soothe, but it only repulsed. He then stepped around me and shut the door to my dorm room.

“Okay, you’re right,” he said. “It wasn’t nothing. I am an a*shole, but I want to make it right. What can I do?”

“Well,” I said, bracing myself. “You can start by telling the truth when Dean Schiller calls you in.”

His face quickly lost all traces of warmth. “What?” he spit. “You’re going to the administration with this?”

“I have a meeting later today,” I said, not meeting his eyes.

“Well, it’s a good thing I stopped by then.” His face was red, jaw tight. “I have something you should see before you go.”

That was the moment that did it. And I’ve been broken ever since.