They rushed off with the most important piece of me. All that was left was the short breeze of the swinging door they’d swept through. I fell to my knees on the cold, unyielding green tile and dropped my head into my hands. It felt like my chest was cracking open and pieces of me were spilling out.
I heard panting behind me, and a firm grip squeezed my shoulder. “What happened? Where is she?” Jace was hunched over, winded.
I used my knee as leverage as I pushed up from the floor and hung my head. “They took her. I have no idea what happened. She wasn’t answering my calls or texts all day, so I went to check on her and found her in the hall that way. She reeks of alcohol, has vomit in her hair, and I could barely feel her pulse.”
Jace’s shoulders bobbed as tears fell from his eyes. “I’ve been so preoccupied with Shay, I haven’t even talked to her in a few days.”
I looked up, surprised. “Shay? Shay Goldie?”
Jace waved his hand, dismissing my inquiry. “I can’t believe she was laying outside my door dying, and I didn’t even know. Why the hell didn’t she come to me for help?” He looked hurt and . . . confused?
“Has she ever done this before? She texted me this morning and said she had to go see Abby. Do you think something happened?”
Jace’s eyes widened, and a look of something close to recognition took over his face. He looked back to the door they’d just wheeled Angel through and stared, seeming far away.
“Jace? Do you know something? What’re you thinking, man?” Tell me what the fuck happened to my girl.
“Hmmm? No. I just . . . I hope . . .” He hung his head and cried even harder. “My poor baby girl. I’m so sorry,” he said on a whisper.
“Sorry for what?” I craned my neck, trying to get him to look me in the eye. When he wouldn’t, I grabbed his shoulders and shook. “Jace! Talk to me! Sorry about what? What do you think happened to her?” I searched his face for an answer.
“Blake, I love that broken little girl more than anything, and I love how much you love her. Trust me, I want nothing more than for you guys to work out.” He paused. “But I can’t tell you. It’s not my story to tell.” He hung his shoulders and slouched into a nearby hard plastic chair.
I started pacing in front of him. “Jace. Come on, man, you have to tell me. She almost killed herself tonight. Hell, I don’t even know if . . .” I let my thoughts linger there. I couldn’t speak the words out loud. If anything happened to her, I wouldn’t survive it. That girl lived in me. She pumped through my veins. I couldn’t be without her anymore.
I dropped into the chair next to Jace and hung my head in my hands. “I’ll die without her, Jace. I can’t even think . . .”
Jace sniffed. “Eva’s a strong girl. Don’t doubt her. She’ll pull through this. She always does. The girl’s got amazing will.” He said it as though he was trying to convince himself, too. He put a hand on my knee. “She loves you, you know. She’ll tell you in her own time. Just don’t pressure her. She’s bottled up so tight, I’m afraid she might explode. Let her come to you. When she’s ready.”
I met his concerned eyes and pondered what he was asking of me. I just couldn’t. “Jace, she almost died. If I hadn’t found her . . . I can’t even think about what they’re doing to her in there.”
Glancing back at the door they’d wheeled her through, I pictured her body contorting as they tried to rid her of whatever toxins she’d harmed herself with, and I felt sick. The burn of tears were back in my throat, and I buried my head in my hands again as I anxiously rocked.
Jace rubbed circles on my back. It was easy to see why Eva loved him so much. “You have to trust me, lover. She’s going to be extremely fragile after this. It’s going to be like walking around with tempered glass. One false move and she’ll crack. Do you understand?”
When I didn’t answer, he jerked my chin in his direction. “I’m gonna need a yes or a no on that one. This is too important to fuck around. Do you understand?”
“Yeah, Jace. I got you. But I can’t help her if I don’t know how. You’re asking a lot from me.”
“It’s not for me. It’s for her.” He pushed that last word into me with his eyes.
I understood.
Something in my face must have given that away because Jace relaxed against his seat. “You’ve already helped her more than you’ll ever know. I have confidence in you. You’ll know what to do.”
Gastric lavage—or gastric suction, was the medical term the doctor gave me when he told me they’d pumped my stomach. That was after I’d spent twenty minutes retching and dry heaving.
I drew my arm around my tender belly and curled on my side into a ball. I didn’t know what they were observing anymore. There was nothing left of me to see. I felt as though I could disappear into the sheets and it wouldn’t make a difference. I was already dead. The fact that I’d tried to make it official today was the nail in the coffin.