Live Me

This can’t be happening. Not like this.

My hands and feet stammered to gain traction, scooting until my back hit the armrest. “Damon! Think about what you’re doing right now. She can come home!” It was all I could think of that might stop his assault. Reason with the logical person who must have still been buried in there somewhere.

“I—don’t—give a fuck!” he shouted in my face. A burn smacked against my already numb cheek as he delivered his second blow to the tender skin, sending my face into the stiff plush.

Each morsel of me was shutting down, frantically searching for its hidey hole. But I pushed deeper, trying my best to ignore it while I gathered my pieces. No fucking more!

I ground down on my molars. “You can’t touch me anymore. Get off me! GET OFF ME!” I pounded my fists against his chest in a fury, desperate to get him to stop. God, I can’t breathe.

His face contorted into a calm, twisted smile, and I froze in terror, realization hitting me that my efforts would bear no fruit. He was determined and too far gone. He used my moment of weakness to hook his arms under my knees and yank me flat on my back.

Grabbing my wrists, he pinned my arms above my head. His hot breath coated the skin around my ear, his voice a low growl. “I told you, you wouldn’t like it this time.”

He pressed his lips to mine, and I pursed them together, squeezing my eyes shut. The wretched stench of booze and sticky wetness of his lips churned my stomach.

“I know this is all your fault. She hasn’t been the same since she came to visit you that night.”

I searched my frazzled mind for a way out of this. Blake’s eyes and soft smile flashed before my eyes and tears pooled, swelling my bottom lids. This can’t happen. I can’t do this to him.

I needed him off me.

Turning cold, I looked right at the person I hated most, and fastened on a cocky smile, determined not to let him break me this time. I’d had enough.

“It is not. Maybe she just realizes what a piece of shit you are.” I spit the words in his face.

Damon sneered, unaffected, and the air was sucked out of my heart like the whoosh of a vacuum, deflating any hope I’d had. “You think you’re slick? Well, you’re going to make it up to me. You’re gonna to pay for ruining the one good thing in my life. She’s mine! You hear me?” He paused briefly before determinedly adding. “And so are you. You just need to be reminded.” He clamped both my tiny wrists in his fist, and I yelped as his weight bore down and he tore off my leggings.

“Stop!” I yelled, but the monster on top of me didn’t flinch. Horrified, I was immobile to do anything as he maneuvered himself between the slit of his zipper. My back bowed with a dry heave, and I swallowed down its bitterness.

“You think you can hide behind that * boyfriend of yours? Well, think again, sweetheart.” He took himself in his hand and rubbed his palm over his hardened tip, salivating over what he was about to do. The lesson he was about to teach me. “What’s he gonna say when he finds out I was inside his precious Angel?” The hiss of my favorite name from his lips curdled the contents in my stomach.

“No!” I cried, trying to push my weight against his chest. He slammed me down again and ripped my shirt and bra up in one swift motion. “Don’t do this. They can come home at any minute!”

“Good. Then they’ll realize what a WHORE their little goody two-shoes is!”

He clasped my nipple between his teeth, and bit down. I cried out in pain. He usually wasn’t forceful about it, but he was pissed and unwavering in his efforts to make me suffer. To prove his point. Any attempt I could make would be futile.

So I did the only thing I could think of—I shut off.

Turning my head to the side, I let thoughts of Blake and his loving face invade my mind as I blocked out what was about to happen. A tear leaked out of my catatonic eyes, seeping into the cushion. Nothing else would matter after this.

A sense of serenity washed over me. A calm as I detached myself from my body. With a soft smile on my face, I imagined a future that would never be as tears slipped from my eyes. My body bucked with Damon’s movements, but I didn’t respond. I stayed inside my soul. Out of my skin. I felt his hands all over me but imagined they were different hands. Warm, loving hands. Hands that were supposed to cradle the babies I’d never know. That were supposed to hold me when I was old and sick. Hands I’d never feel again.

The sound of my underwear ripping tore through me. He’d take the last piece of me this time. Pluck the final shard of glass and flick it in the air. Into nowhere. There was nothing left for me. Nothing left of me. All that mattered would never be anymore.

I screeched as he shoved two fingers inside me, my ribs jerking at the abrupt intrusion. With a disgusting smile on his face, he worked his fingers in and out of me, spreading me painfully wide.

“Tell me you want this.”

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