I shook my head. “Nah. I think it’ll be okay. We kind of did this alone, I should probably let him know without any spectators. Besides, if he starts yelling, I’d rather be the one he takes it out on.”
“He’s not going to yell at me.”
“You don’t know that. But I think I need a little bit of privacy. I know that sounds shitty, but if I had a hard time accepting this, then I know he will too.”
I knew she understood exactly what I was trying to say by the look on her face.
“Okay, I’ll head home. The pup needs to be fed and I’m sure the larger beast does too.” She got up and walked to the door. Just before she opened it she paused. “Listen, Macie, I know this isn’t going to be easy, but I want you to know that I’m here for you. I will always be here for you. You need me any time, day or night, I will be here. I love you like you are a sister to me. You are a sister to me.”
I was getting teary.
“Please believe me when I say this. I know that telling Dodger isn’t going to be easy for you, but I truly feel in my heart that he will be okay with it. He’s a reasonable man. He still loves you, you know that, right? He never stopped loving you. No matter what happens when you tell him, give him the time to let the news settle in, and then both of you come together to figure out what you think will be best for you and this new little nugget.” She gave me a tender look, and her eyes appeared glassy. “I hope you know that baby is already loved so much by me.” A small sniffle came out of her. “I’m going to spoil him or her rotten.”
I wiped at my eyes and looked at my friend in complete awe. She was right. And how accepting she already was, was incredible. How I could have expected anything less from her, I didn’t even know.
“I love you.”
“Love you too.”
As she opened the door, I said, “I’ll let you know how it goes.”
“Eep! I’m gonna be an aunt.” Keegan chirped just before she closed the door.
I shook my head. That girl . . . smiling, I got up from the couch and went up to my room. My parents were gone to some benefit golf game, and later there would be a gala. They wouldn’t be home until late.
Deciding to run some bath water, to relax my previously frazzled nerves, I figured it would be a good time to send a message to Dodger. Bubbles, and a candle in the corner, I undressed and sunk down into the warm water. I checked the time on my phone and thought about where he probably was right now. He’d likely be packing up to head home from the gym. I’d give it a few minutes to think about what I was going to say, and to ensure that he was probably in his car and not anywhere near stupid bitches.
I sighed and closed my eyes. I wondered if Dodger and Dana had ever done anything. I was fairly certain he had never had sex with her, but I wasn’t as positive that they hadn’t fooled around. Frankly, I wasn’t sure I even wanted to know. I’d probably throw up and not from morning sickness.
I gave myself a short reprieve before I picked up my phone and pulled up Dodger’s name. Sitting with the text screen open, I tried to think of what I was going to say.
Me: Hey. R U busy tomorrow afternoon?
I hit send and sat with the bubbles dissipating around me. My screen lit up and I got a message back.
Dodger: Yeah. I’m free after five.
I exhaled a breath I didn’t realize I was holding.
Me: K. Do u mind if I stop by shortly after?
Dodger: No. Everything ok
Me: Kinda. Just have some things to talk to u about
Dodger: Sounds ominous
Me: Eh. We’ll chat tomorrow.
Poor guy, I actually felt bad for him.
Dodger: Mace everything ok? I can come right now if you need to talk
Me: NO
I put in all caps, so it sounded to shouty but, if he showed up on my door step, I wouldn’t answer the door. I wasn’t ready to tell him. Not just yet.
Me: Sorry. Didn’t mean to yell. I’m ok and it can wait til tomorrow
Dodger: You have me worried
Me: Don’t be
Not sure if that was exactly a lie, but there was no prepping him for it so I might as well let him have one more night of being in the dark.
Dodger: K. Well if you need me I’m here. I’ll come anytime
That last text made me smile and gave me a small little flutter in my tummy. That was the sweet sided Dodger I knew and loved.
Me: Thanks winky face
I didn’t have anything else to say. Another text came through.
Dodger: It was nice hearing from you
I had no clue how to respond to that, so I didn’t. Instead, I pulled the plug from the tub and let the water drain. It may have been an asshole thing for me to not say anything back, but I knew getting too emotional wasn’t the best idea. I had to keep myself detached. Dodger would be a good father, if he chose to step forward and support his baby, that much I was certain. But as far as anything more between us, that really wasn’t in our cards. I’d walked. I knew deep down, if given the chance, he’d take me back. But at this point, I wasn’t sure if I went back to him, it would be for the baby, or for myself.
TIME HAS NEVER MOVED so slowly before in my life. I was extremely restless from a lack of sleep the night before, and here I sat, with still an hour before I was meeting up with Dodger. I was chugging water and half-caff coffee like it was going out of style. I felt grumpy. I’d tossed and turned on my overly comfortable bed pondering all the ways today would go down. But I knew that none those scenarios were likely to happen. Dodger was different. He was my constant, yet very unpredictable when it came to certain things.
My morning was spent primping and putting on several different outfits. My poor bedroom looked like a tornado ripped through it. Whatever I put on either didn’t look quite right or didn’t fit. I certainly didn’t have a visible baby belly, but things were getting tight. Why, oh why, were most of my clothes fitted? Fortunately, I found a pretty floral print top in the back of my closet that was loose. Still had tags on it, and I remember it was an impulse buy. At least floral was in style at the moment so, yay for that. Leggings, knee high boots, and a messy bun completed my ensemble enough to satisfy me. I had no clue why I wanted to feel pretty for Dodger, but I did. Like it was going to make telling him the news better. Just like matching a bra to underwear, it always made my day a little brighter.
“Argh! This is insane,” I growled to myself.