I put my palm up in the air and said, “Dodger, stop. Okay. Just stop. I’m not freaking out about a little fucking needle. And I don’t need anyone to hold my hand.”
His brows came together. “Then what does all of this have to do with me, Macie? You’re going to have to come out and say it because I’m clearly not reading between the lines, nor am I in the mood for your games.”
“Games?”
“Yeah, games. I thought you wanted to talk. And so far all you’ve done is talk circles. You haven’t spoken to me since the wedding, you don’t come over to my parents’ house anymore, and then you text me out of the blue saying that you needed me. I’m here, but you’re not being your usual forward self. So whatever it is, just come out with it. Otherwise, I would like to get home and take a shower. I’ve had a long day.”
Your day is about to get a little longer.
“I’m pregnant.”
In the moment, blurting it seemed like the right answer. But, as the seconds ticked by, and I watched his face morph from confused, then to shock, then to pondering, then to something I couldn’t quite put my finger on, I wasn’t so sure my brashness was the way to go. Not that there really was any other way to soften the blow. Dodger was never really an aloof person. I couldn’t always read his every emotion, but right now, staring at him I could practically read the words rolling through his head like he was an illustrator drawing me pictures.
Breaking the silence, I spoke his name. “Dodger . . . please say something.”
He tilted his head slightly, still having a mental battle with himself. “Who is it.”
Confused I said, “What? Who’s who?”
He held his hand out in front of him, palm up waving it back and forth. “Who’s the person that did this to you?”
My mouth dropped open. I was tired and really didn’t care to keep up the fa?ade that I was going to make this as easy on him as possible. A small giggle bubbled up my throat, even though it wasn’t funny.
“Shit on a stick, Dodger. Are you really that dense?”
“Dense about what?”
I started ticking off my fingers. “Let’s see. I said about a month ago I was feeling crappy. I learned that I was knocked up. Since it takes about six weeks to feel like I’d been hit by a MAC truck, I’d calculate that this little incident occurred, ohhhh, about the time of the wedding.”
His eyes went wide. “The wedding.”
“Yes.”
He stood up and plopped down on the chair beside mine. Leaning forward, he rested his elbows on his knees. “But we . . . we used protection.”
“No we didn’t.”
He glanced at me. “You sure?”
“Sure enough that I’m now in this predicament and carrying half of your DNA.”
He shot a pissed off look at me. “Don’t joke, Macie. This isn’t the time.”
I stood up. “You see me laughing?”
He closed his eyes. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to be so abrasive. I’m just . . . not sure what to do with this information. Give me a minute to process.”
I let him sit there with his thoughts and waited for him to say something else to me. I wandered around his small office space. I inspected that leaves on his plants, straightened his hanging frames that were likely already level, and tried to figure out his PT table. That sucker looked complicated. By the time he spoke to me again, his voice made me jump.
“So, the baby . . . it’s mine?”
As much as that question grated my nerves, he had every right to ask. We’d not been a couple for a long time, and our one night together resulted in some pretty big consequences. He had no clue about my personal life anymore unless Keegan kept him up to speed. I didn’t really picture Dodger asking any questions though.
“Yes. I’ve not been with anybody since you. And before the wedding, it was only you.”
He jerked back. “Nobody?”
“No.”
“Macie, we hadn’t been together for over a year. You’re telling me you’ve not had sex with anyone in that time?”
I rolled my eyes. “For fuck’s sake, Dodger. Is it really that hard to believe that I am capable of being celibate?”
“Well . . . yeah,” he admitted.
“Fuck you, Dodger.” I walked toward him and started to reach for my bag I’d placed on the floor by the chair.
He reached out and grasped my forearm. “Stop. I didn’t mean it like that. It’s just that, before we even had a relationship, you were probably more promiscuous than I ever was. I’m sorry for saying so, but that’s how it was.”
He had a point. But I was never going to tell him that nobody ever really sparked my interest like he had after I left him. It was like I now needed not only a physical attraction to a man, but a mental one as well. They had to intrigue me, make me laugh, challenge me. Nobody I’d met had been capable of doing that for me. Not like he had.
I dropped my bag and crossed my arms, not completely wanting to let him off the hook. “I’ve just been focusing on building my career, okay? Sex isn’t everything.”
“No, it isn’t. But I also know how long it had been between the wedding and us.” He dropped his focus on me and looked down at his hands. “I can’t say I’m not happy to hear about that.”
“Don’t be cocky, Dodger.”
His blue eyes shot up to mine. “That’s not cocky, that’s honest.”
“Well, let’s just say that’s not a subject that is up for discussion now, or ever. There are bigger things going on at the moment.”
“Yes, there definitely is.” He eyes traveled to my stomach.
I instinctively covered the lower part of my abdomen with my hand, as if to shield his eyes from a nonexistent bump.
“There’s nothing to see. Don’t look at me like that.”
“I’m not looking at you like anything. So you’re positive you’re pregnant, and that it is mine. How many tests have you taken?”
“More than I care to admit.”
He sighed. “Okay. And you haven’t been to a doctor yet? Have you scheduled an appointment?”
I nodded. “I already told you I hadn’t. And yes, I go in a week.”
This seemed to satisfy him, even though he hasn’t really given me any indication whether this was all good news, bad news, or he simply didn’t care. Right now Dodger was knocking out all of the logistics of my announcement before I was certain he would allow himself to roll through his emotions over it all.
“Let me know what time and where. I’ll be going with you.”
I was taken aback. “You’re coming with me? I don’t recall asking you to.”
Dodger’s eyes flared as he stared at me. “You didn’t ask me to? Macie, that’s my kid in there.” He gestured toward my stomach. “If you have any appointments, ultrasounds, or anything involving it, I want to be there.”
“So, are you saying you want me to keep it?” Not that he had any say in the matter anymore. I’d already made the decision for the both of us a couple days ago.
“Are you fucking serious right now?”
Whoa, okay. There’s a reaction.
“Yes, I’m being very serious.”
“Why on earth would you even think that I wouldn’t want it?”