I looked at the clock again. I’d been sitting in the kitchen for the last hour trying to figure out the precise words that would hopefully not bring the poor guy to his knees. Didn’t matter what came out of my mouth, nothing I said was going to sound good. I still had thirty minutes before I needed to head out but I couldn’t sit here any longer. I decided it was time to head to the gym. Getting up, I started toward the door. Glancing at myself in the mirror that hung in the entryway, I swiped down the front of my shirt brushing away nonexistent fuzz, and wiping a little gloss away from the corner of my mouth. Grabbing my keys, I walked out.
The drive to the gym was short and sweet. And for the first time in my life, I think, I was early for something. I still had fifteen minutes to wait. I was certain if I walked in there right now, Dodger would know right away something was up. I did a quick scan of the cars in the parking lot like I had the other night. For the most part it was the same vehicles. But I noticed Dana’s car was missing. Hmmm, must not be working tonight.
Thank God.
I found a spot and got out. When I walked inside I noted that Camden was sitting off to the left in a corner helping and older man with his form. When he saw me, the look on his face told me that he knew why I was here. He gave me a tentative smile with a tilt of his head. Keegan must’ve told him, which I shouldn’t have expected anything less. At least I knew Camden wouldn’t be the type to tip his brother off. It was my news to tell, and he’d leave me to it. He likely had some things he’d like to say to me about all of this, but I had no plans to head in his direction to strike up conversation. Instead, I kept my forward momentum to the back where the PT office was.
I walked past several gym patrons lifting weights and stretching. This place always had such a distinct smell to it. It was a mix of plastic gym mats, sweat, and something else I couldn’t put my finger on. It wasn’t a gross smell or anything, but it was familiar and brought me comfort. The gym had been open for quite a long time, although Camden had replaced almost all of the equipment that was here when his dad owned it. I’d been in here more times than I could count. It had become another home to me, but when I’d broken up with Dodger, I stopped coming here and started using the gym at my parents’ country club and the hospital. Everything looked pretty much the same besides the new faces.
The physical therapy space in the back was a single room. The boys walled it off after Dodger graduated college and became certified. The door was currently closed, but I knew there wasn’t anybody else behind it besides him at the moment. I raised my hand to knock. Here goes nothing. I rapped three times.
The door opened. Seeing him standing in front of me was like a breath of fresh air and an ice pick straight through my heart all at the same time. He was stood tall with his brown hair slightly messy. I noticed it had been a while since he’d gotten it cut. Wonder if he was growing it out for some new style he may be trying. Either way it looked good. When his baby blue eyes caught mine and that crooked beautiful smile of his tipped up to acknowledge me, my heart oddly felt full and picked up its pace. Dodger did this to me every time. I tried so hard over the few years I’d known him to hide what he did to me, but it was futile. He always saw right through me. Avoidance with him had been key.
“Hi, Macie.”
The way he said my name made me want to fall into his arms. I straightened my shoulders and did what I always do. I picked.
“Dodger,” I coolly greeted. “You just get back from being somebody’s golf caddie or is this the new uniform you force yourself to wear?”
That earned me a grin from ear to ear. He stepped aside and swept his hand forward as if to say please come in. “Your wit is quick, but we both know you’re not here to trade insults.”
I walked past him and entered the room. There was a black leather bed that could shift and break down to assist patients on the left side of the room. A tall green plant was in the corner, while another green plant was in the opposite corner, near Dodger’s desk. There wasn’t much in the way of decoration in here besides two sports photos of him standing next to Aaron Rogers, Green Bay’s Quarterback, and Derek Jeter, a retired Yankee. His college diploma was nicely framed by the bed. He equally split the room between office and patient rehab.
I sat as gracefully as I could on one of the two chairs sitting in front of Dodger’s large desk. He was still behind me and I hadn’t heard him move from where he was standing at the door.
“No, I didn’t,” I replied.
The door closed. “Well, clearly something big is up if you’re here. After your text last night, I had a hard time getting any sleep. So, please, put me out of my misery and tell me what you needed to talk to me about.”
I sighed. Spill it. There’s really no other way around it. Simply say the words so the man can start working through this like I have been. I sat there.
I heard him approach me from behind. He came around to my line of sight and leaned back against his desk, slightly sitting on it. The way he carried himself was really something. Like how I envisioned a million-dollar mogul would. Confident and charismatic.
“Mace, come on. It’s me. Whatever it is, I’m here and I’m listening.”
Yeah, except it’s a little more complicated than that.
I swallowed. “It’s not that easy.”
“Hey.” He demanded my eyes.
I looked up, and concern was etched in his features.
“I’m sure that whatever it is, it’s not that big of a deal and we can figure it out. I’ll help you figure it out. Okay? But you gotta tell me. The way you’re looking at me right now is a little disconcerting.”
That gorgeous face of his was about to morph into something I’d probably never seen on him before. Hate, disgust, anger. The words started to form on my lips. I braced myself in the chair like I would if I saw a speeding car coming at me on the highway head on.
“Something’s happened.”
He stayed silent.
My hands gripped the arms of the chair a bit harder, my nails biting into the underside of the wood. “This isn’t easy for me to just come out and say what I need to say, but I feel that it is only fair to you, to let you know.”
Really, that was the biggest hint I could have given him besides handing him some sort of baby onesie and expecting him to put the pieces together. Had this been a joyful announcement, I’m sure that’s the way I would have gone. Jesus Christ, this office was hot. I felt sweat forming just around my hair line. The way he was watching me after my small insight, he appeared stoic and still clueless.
“Let me know what, Macie? I may be good with charades, but I’m totally not following you.”
“About a month ago I started to feel . . . I don’t know. Sort of off.”
“Off how?”
“Well, I was tired all the time, my body hurt, food wouldn’t settle right with me.”
“Have you seen a doctor?” He sat a little more forward.
“I’ve spoken to one, but I haven’t been seen just yet.”
“If you’re still feeling like that, then maybe you need to make an appointment.”
I shook my head. “No, you’re not understanding.”
“Understanding what? I mean, I know you don’t like needles and all that, and I’m sure they will likely do some blood work, but I could be there to hold your hand if you need me to.”