The Unexpected List (The List Trilogy)

April showers

April, 2003


My best friends abandoning me would normally be front and center of my focus right now. I’d be dedicating every waking minute of every day trying to convince them not to leave me. I’d literally bust out that tape and super glue them to my side. But, no time for arts and crafts at the moment because Megan emailed me last night to notify me she’s back from Nepal and to tell me the trip was a huge success. Whatever the hell that means. She also wrote some other jibber-jabber about needing to have lunch with me to talk about the phone call Kurt made from Nepal and feeling bad about something or other. Frankly, once I read the first sentence that she was back, I was too focused on the email I was about to fire off to pay much attention to hers.

Kurt, I know you’re home now. I’ll be at the Lafayette studio at ten o’clock tomorrow. Please meet me there. You’ve kept everything a secret long enough and I need you to finally fill in the blanks. Chrissy

Waking in the morning, I take a long hot shower and bravely prepare for my face-to-face with Kurt, if he decides to show up, that is. To calm my nerves, I plan on attending one of Slutty Co-worker’s yoga classes before he arrives, so I dress in my comfortable yoga-wear and only apply a small amount of lip gloss. Certainly no need to pile on the make-up. With what I expect Kurt to tell me about our torrid night of drunken sex, I’ll just cry it off anyway.

Leaving my bedroom, I tap the box of Kelly’s videos and declare, “Today’s the day girl…Sorry, no more fun for you.”

I arrive to the studio, and it’s abnormally quiet. I search for my team and no one’s to be found. In fact, there’s a sub teaching Slutty’s yoga class. Weird, I think I’ll skip that. With unexpected time on my hands, I head to my office and fire up my computer to check for a response from Kurt. To my surprise, there is one.

Chrissy, you’re right. Too many secrets. Relieved to have it all out in the open now. See you at ten o’clock. Kurt

Glancing at my watch, it’s nine o’clock. One more hour until I finally get some answers. I poke my head into the lobby to look for my crew again, hoping for some kind of distraction, but it’s empty. I take the opportunity to hit up the mediation room to further prepare myself for whatever comes flying out of Kurt’s mouth. Leaving the door open a crack so I can hear when my rag tag team decides to show up for work, I turn on some soft music, light the candles encircling the space and sit criss-cross applesauce (as Kendall calls it) on the floor facing the calming, water fountain-filled atrium. The tranquil sound of the water as it cascades down the rim of the fountain and drops lightly into the small pool surrounding it blocks out the clutter in my head and instantly puts me at ease…for about five minutes.

Almost as soon as my mind is at rest and it feels like I’m gently floating around the room, my eyes snap wide open at what sounds like all hell breaking loose in the lobby. The studio doors burst open, and I hear Slutty Co-worker arguing with a man. I listen a little more, and then swiftly place my hands on my stomach when his voice becomes recognizable.

“Oh my God.”

Staying seated, but tilting my head in the direction of the conversation, I listen intently as the two of them argue.

“This was a mistake! She’s gonna kill me for doing this!”

“Where is she?”

“You know what, it seemed like a good idea to contact you last night, but now that you’re actually standing here, I’m second guessing everything. I shouldn’t have emailed you! You shouldn’t have flown here!”

“Well I guess you should’ve thought twice before you wrote me with, ‘Chrissy’s in trouble, she really needs you.’”

“But I didn’t actually think you’d take the first flight out! I thought you’d ease into asking why she needed you with…Oh I dunno, MAYBE A PHONE CALL!”

“Just tell me where she is.”

“I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“Because I didn’t tell you what she needed you for. And, man-oh-man, is she EVER gonna fire me over this.”

“Another thing you should’ve thought about before you contacted me, but not my problem. Look, I’m only gonna ask one more time before I lose my shit. Where is she?”

“I don’t know.”

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON’T KNOW?”

My slutty old meddling friend apparently took matters into her own hands last night and emailed Leo in what looks like some kind of attempt to give me the fairytale life I’ve always dreamed of, and which I will undoubtedly kill her for trying to do. Judging by the sound of his voice, she probably knows just as well as I do that he’s two seconds away from screaming out my name and alarming over a hundred well-paying patrons, so she resignedly seals her fate in the unemployment line.

“Fine. Stay right here. I’ll go find her.”

We're here and now

Will we ever be again

I have found

All that shimmers in this world

Is sure to fade away again

(Shimmer, Fuel)