Exposed
December, 2002
“Wow, the garden really looks amazing, Chrissy.”
“It’s all amazing…the garden, the house, the yoga studios, the pregnancy. I can’t believe you’re managing all of this stuff by yourself.”
Courtney and Nicole left their own families on Christmas day to spend some time with mine, and up until that comment, I was happy for the distraction.
“Yep…all by my lonesome. Thanks for the reminder, Nicole.”
The three of us watch Kendall from the kitchen window. She’s attempting to ride her new bike in the backyard, and it’s just about the cutest thing ever.
“God, she’s starting to look more and more like her mother.”
Courtney and I nod our heads in agreement, before I say, “And she’s got the laid-back temperament of her father. Seriously, the girl is amazing.” Pointing at my stomach, “I hope to heck that I, and whatever I’ve got going on in here, don’t screw her up.”
“Does she know about the baby?”
“Told her this morning.”
“And?”
“If I told her I was giving birth to Santa Claus himself, she couldn’t have been more excited.”
Sort of changing the subject, Courtney asks, “Have you heard from Leo?”
“No.”
I slam my knife down on an onion so that they think my tears are from its stench as opposed to thoughts of him.
“I told you…he’s gone.”
“And still no word from the mystery man?”
“Not a damn thing.”
“Why can’t you just tell us who it is?”
Shaking my head, “Later.”
“Do you think he knows about the baby yet?”
It’s been almost four weeks since I told my friends I was pregnant, so I laugh a little when I say, “I sure thought he would’ve found out about it by now.”
“What does Kurt have to say about all of this?”
Now things are about to get interesting.
“How would Kurt know I was pregnant, Nicole?”
My back-peddling besties are all of a sudden hard at work covering up their big mouths. The same big mouths I was counting on to tell Kurt the news.
“I…I guess I assumed you would’ve told him by now.”
“Yeah, look at you! He must have noticed!”
“I haven’t told him, and I also haven’t seen him since September, long before I started showing.”
My back-up singers let out an impressively harmonized, “Why?”
“We had a pretty big blow up back in August, and Megan’s been handling the transfer of Kendall for me.” Looking at Courtney, I curiously ask, “Do you think he knows?”
She nudges Nicole who shamefully confesses, “I kinda spilled the beans to Kyle about the baby and well…he asked Kurt how he felt about you being pregnant.” Looking at Courtney, “I guess that explains the surprised look on his face, huh? I’m sorry Chrissy. I had no idea he didn’t know.”
Ignoring her guilt, I go on my own fact finding mission.
“When was that?”
“About three weeks ago.”
“And what did he say?”
“All he said was, ‘I know it was on her list. I hope it makes her happy.’”
“Did he say it in a way that made you think he gave me the baby or was it more like he thinks I’m a big happy family with Leo?”
Once again, I’m surrounded by back-up singers when Nicole and Courtney, scream out, “KURT’S THE MYSTERY MAN?”
Christmas day sure isn’t turning out to be as ho-ho-ho-hum as I thought it would be, that’s for sure.
“Maybe….I still don’t know for sure.”
“Holy crap, is that why you and Leo broke up?”
“It was more over the fact that since I have Kendall, Kurt will always be a part of my life, and he couldn’t dig deep enough to get over it.”
Nicole, who’s recklessly trying to crack open a bottle of wine to enjoy while she and Courtney process the news, jabs me with, “Well, Jesus, considering you might’ve slept with Kurt; I guess the guy made the right choice!”
I grab the mutilated bottle from her and jab right back. “You’re gonna break that damn thing! Seriously…how do you treat your actual patients?”
After showing Nicole how easy the bottle opening process should be, I pour them each a ginormous glass and get back to my fact finding mission.
“So, Nic, when Kyle told Kurt the news, did he give off any sign that this could be his.”
“Nope. He just said he hoped you were happy and got back to the football game he was watching with the guys.”
“Not true, there’s more!” Courtney nudges Nicole again and says, “Tell her.”
Nic, who’s not happy about being exposed as a blabber mouth, hesitantly confesses, “Okay, I also asked him if he heard the news that you and Leo were officially over.”
“And?”
“He said he’s known about that since sometime in August.”
The morning I woke up at his house….What kind of game is Kurt playing?
Courtney, who doesn’t think Nicole’s handing the meat and potatoes of this conversation as well as she should interjects with, “Chrissy! If Kurt thought for a second that the baby was Leo’s, but knew that you guys broke up, don’t you think he’d make some kind of a joke about you sharing custody of another kid? C’mon, he’d make a crack about you being a mess or something, wouldn’t he?”
“Correction, I don’t share custody of Kendall with Kurt, he gets visitation.”
“Who cares? Don’t you see what I’m getting at?”
“Not really.” Actually, I kind of do, but denial is a much more appealing place to be right now.
“Maybe he thinks you and Leo broke up because you got pregnant with his baby, and he’s just waiting for you to talk to him about it.”
Then, slapping Nicole on the shoulder, she grumbles, “Wow, anyone else feel like they’re on The Young and The Restless right now?”
Nicole, in a rare non-sarcastic moment continues with, “Chrissy, I got the feeling he knows exactly what’s going on, and he’s just waiting for you to deal with the reality of the situation.”
Covering my ears…“Don’t say it, Nic…I don’t wanna hear it.”
“Sorry, Sweetie, but it’s starting to look like the reality of the situation is that you slept with Kurt and…he could quite possibly be the father of your child.”
I shift my focus to my problem-solving friend, hoping for some answers.
“Courtney?”
“It’s a possibility that only you can rule out. Just talk to him, okay? He’s changed. You might even-”
Knowing exactly where my old friend is going with this conversation I cut her off.
“Hold it right there, Sister. I didn’t spend all of those years learning how to let him go to end up with him again.”
My friends nod their heads in acceptance of what I just said, but I can still see the hope in their eyes.