Bravado
September, 2001
The magic wand and all of the necessary training that went with it could NOT have come soon enough. I thought I needed it to make Leo forget that I dragged him to that pool party and to cushion the blow of the fight he got into with Taddeo, but I really needed it to turn his mood around when I told him we’d be watching Kendall for a week because Kurt wanted to take Craig camping. No! It wasn’t the fact that we’d be taking care of Kendall that appalled him, he adores that little girl. What set him off was hearing me say Kurt’s name out loud. It still bothers him to the point that he wants to punch a hole through a wall. While he went to the gym to work out his frustrations, I took two shots of something brown from the liquor cabinet to get my nerve on and then I changed into my outfit.
There have been several times over the course of the last three years when I tried to make Leo’s jaw drop to the ground, but when he walked through the door two minutes ago, I succeeded in making it drop the farthest and the fastest. Playing homage to his catholic school education, I was suddenly dressed as the girl I never thought I’d be, but secretly thrilled to become. Judging by the expression on Leo’s face, I nailed the part and should send Slutty Co-worker flowers for giving me the idea.
Quickly slamming the door behind him so that no one from the street can get a peek at me, a totally focused Leo walks toward me.
“The last time I walked in and you were wearing something sexy like this, I had to go to Freakmont. Just so you’re clear: we’re not going anywhere tonight.”
Standing there, feeling more vulnerable than I ever have in my life, I dig deep into my sexual bravado and tell Leo to go and take a shower, “I’ll be waiting for you in the bedroom.” And then I walk my sexy catholic school girl wearing slutty-slutty-bang-bang outfit self into the bedroom to gear up for the evening’s festivities.
Everything’s ready to go. My fishnet stockings are securely attached with a garter belt just below my teeny tiny plaid skirt, my black satin bra is peeking out of my crisp white blouse that’s tied at my belly, my black stiletto heels make me feel in charge, and the Hitachi magic wand is ready to go on the nightstand. Time for me to go and find that abyss. By the end of the night I want this man begging me to never leave.
Fortunately, for my sexual sanity, I didn’t have to wait until the end of the night. Within fifteen minutes of firing up the wand, I had Leo nearly threatening me with my life if I didn’t let him take control. Still, I followed Slutty Co-workers advice and made it all about him. I found the special spot that I’d ignored on him for so long and used all of my strength to keep him in position while I drove him crazy. But, my strength was nothing compared to his, and I didn’t stand a chance when he flipped over and straddled me. Not the plan, but I had made him beg long enough to take the lead, and because of the work I just performed, I was now more than satisfied I would be a part of his life for at least as long as he had a sex drive.
With one hand, he firmly held both of my wrists above my head and with the other he recklessly ripped every piece of fabric off of my body and then forcefully entered me. We’ve had a lot of sex together, but nothing and I mean NOTHING, compared to what we were doing to each other. Looking down at me while nearly crushing my pelvis with the thrust of his, he keeps saying, “Is this what you wanted?” over and over again. Despite my cries of “Yes, yes, yes,” without warning, he pulls out of me, flips me over and reaches for the wand. I never thought about the thrill of being dominated before, but after this, I have a feeling it’s all I’ll ever think about.
After delivering right back to me everything I had given to him, he throws the wand against the wall, pulls me up to my knees and enters me from behind. Reaching my arms behind my head to grab his neck for stability, he begins to kiss mine as my weary head falls to the side. In an instant, the triple X-rated porn we had been acting out in our cottage bedroom transforms into something meaningful and slow. With each thrust, Leo whispers “I’m never letting you go.” My repeated response is, “I won’t let you.” Finally reaching the end of our journey, we fall softly to the bed with his arms wrapped tightly around me. Before he drifts off to sleep he whispers one more time, “I’m never letting you go, Chrissy.” For the first time since we got back together, I’m assured that our six-year age difference will never interfere with our love. I’m no more vulnerable in this relationship than he is, and it’s that very vulnerability that will keep us together, forever.