Damage Control
August, 2001
The argument that ensued the day after my birthday wasn’t nearly as bad as the one that took place on Leo’s graduation night, but it was up there. When I woke up, Leo was sleeping on the wicker couch in the same clothes he had on the night before. I tip-toed to the fridge to get something to hydrate with/pour over my head, and that’s when he woke up.
As he rubs his eyes he sleepily asks, “Why did you have to do that?”
“I’m sorry, what?”
“You knew he still needed time to get to know you. Why’d you have to push his buttons?”
“Leo, first, he’s had plenty of time to get to know me. And, second…what about my buttons?” Ouch. My head hurts.
“Chrissy, have you forgotten about all of the times you screwed me over and who was there for me every single time? If a girl did that to him, she’d never have a chance to get on my good side. At least he’s giving you that.”
“I’d rather he not give me the chance than taunt me with future failure! Because that’s what he did, you know! He said I’m gonna screw this up…AGAIN!”
And then a crazy thought occurs to me. Maybe I’m not angry about what Taddeo thinks. Maybe I’m scared that he might be right. Maybe that’s what triggered my ridiculous reaction, which is what I’m assuming I had since Leo’s so angry with me that it made him sleep on the couch. Actually, come to think of it, I don’t remember much about last night, not even how I got home. Last thing I remember is Taddeo telling me I was about to go on an airplane…or was it that I needed to buy new luggage?
“Baby, you’re not gonna screw this up. Look…I don’t want to fight about this. There was enough of that last night.”
“What are you talking about?”
When he sits up, I see his face.
“OMIGOD! What happened?”
Exhaling like he’s super disturbed, “Defending your honor, I guess.”
Oh shit, he got in a fight with the only other person in the world he loves! What the hell did I do last night to have made that happen? Think, think, think…
Rushing over to him to get a better look, I’m horrified at what I see. “Are you hurt?”
I hate fights! I hate them so much, my body actually feels the blows of the punches when I see them happening on TV. They’re savage and primeval and they have no place in my life.
“Not as much as he is.”
“Why Leo? He didn’t do anything that bad!”
Did he?
“It never should’ve come to that!”
Should it have? God damn it, why don’t I remember anything?
“I’m not gonna let anyone, Taddeo included, disrespect you to my face. After you left, I told him to take it easy…warned him to back off.”
“But he didn’t?”
“Does it look like it?”
When Leo clasps his hands behind his neck it causes his biceps to flex and it stirs something inside of me. I walk over to him in anticipation of trying to make him forget about last night, but before I get there he leans back on the couch, closes his eyes and shakes his head. My sweet, loving, noble knight in shining armor is hurting and it doesn’t look like it’s from the black eye.
“Leo, please tell me what can I do to fix this? I know! Gimme his number, I’ll call him and apologize. I’ll tell him he’s right about…whatever it was he was accusing me of being. I’ll do whatever it takes to make things good again with you two.”
Snapping his head up, “No, Chrissy, he wasn’t right! I never would’ve beat the shit out of him if he was.” Standing and pacing the small living room, he runs his fingers through his black hair and grumbles, “F*ck! This is a mess.”
That should be my middle name, Chrissy Mess Anderson. I thought I would’ve shed it, along with Gibbons, when I got a divorce, but for some reason it’s globbed onto me.
Doing the only thing I ever know to do when Leo gets super mad, I wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him.
“I guess there’s one good thing that came out of last night.”
“Oh yeah, what’s that?”
“You found out I’m a really bad drunk.”
I knew things were bad when Leo barely cracked a smile at my joke, broodingly took the Gatorade bottle for a swig, and then silently walked down the hall for a shower. It’s been almost a month since that morning and the same amount of time since he’s spoken to his best friend. However, the same cannot be said about me and my best friends. Courtney and Nicole caught onto the fact that I’d been going to Kelly’s grave a day earlier than anniversary day, courtesy of the creepy lawnmower dude, and to my surprise they were there waiting for me yesterday. The minute I saw them, it hit me how much I’ve missed them. There were massive amounts of apologies on both sides and a speedy invitation to get the gang, plus Leo, together. They hated the fact that Craig had met him before them and said they talked some much needed sense into their unnecessarily loyal and idiotic husbands, hence the pool party Leo and I are invited to attend tomorrow night at Nicole’s house.
Even though it’s totally the wrong time to spring this on Leo because he’s crazy busy at work and still stewing from the Taddeo nightmare, I accepted the invitation anyway. I had to! I’m the one who caused the big stink to make it happen! Here’s to hoping I still look good in a bikini and that it’s enough to distract Leo from the probable shit show I’m about to put him through.
Do hast mich
Do hast mich gefragt
Do hast mich gefragt
Do hast mich gefragt und ich hab nichts gesagt
(Du Hast, Ramstein)