Tempted by the Soldier

Chapter Twenty


“Nate!” Jace called from the other side of Nate’s front door as he beat the shit out of it. “Open the damn door before I kick it the hell down.”

Nate dropped a stack of plastic cups into a box marked “KITCHEN” and opened the door.

Jace glowered at him, then pushed past him to stalk into the now half-empty apartment. “Why haven’t you been answering your phone?”

Nate didn’t even know where his phone was. It didn’t matter. The one person in the world he wanted to call never would. “Didn’t hear it. Sorry.”

Jace silently watched him pack for a moment before he picked up a box to help. “You should have called me. I could have come over and helped with this.”

Nate swallowed another lump of guilt. “I know.”

His brother tossed a stack of books into a box. “Have you heard from Lilly?”

“No.”

He’d tried to call her. Stalked her apartment. Bribed her roommate. None of it had worked. She’d cut him off, and for every second of every day he was feeling the withdrawal. The worst part was the fear that he’d never see her smile again. The last time he’d seen her, she’d looked so hurt. So betrayed. She’s put herself out there and he’d crushed her. Rubbing his chest where it ached, he grabbed a roll of tape and sealed the kitchen box. Closing up another piece of his civilian life.

“You going to tell me where they’re sending you?”

Nate popped open another box and raised a brow. “You know I’m not allowed to say.”

Jace pushed out a breath and braced his hands on the sofa. “Have you at least found someone to sublet the apartment?”

Nate shook his head. He knew he should just give in and get rid of the place. It wasn’t as if it had ever felt like a home.

“You know who needs a place? Lilly,” he said. “She’s got to be out of her apartment in a week and still hasn’t found anything.”

Just hearing Lilly’s name made Nate’s world implode all over again. He’d actually been lucky enough to find a woman who accepted him, flaws and all, and he couldn’t accept himself enough to be with her. He’d f*cked up, and now he’d run out of time.

No. She was better off without him. Now she could be with someone normal, someone without all his damn baggage. Someone who could make her happy.

He shrugged, feigning nonchalance, when really the thought of Lilly not having a place to live made his protective instincts roar to the surface. He wanted to find her and drag her back here, caveman style, and convince her to stay forever.

But he knew he couldn’t. It may hurt now, but this way was for the best. She’d been right to shut him out.

“Why do you keep doing this?” Jace finally asked, hands on hips.

“Doing what?”

“Pushing people away.”

A fresh wave of pain rolled through Nate’s chest. He threw down the box in his hand and glared at his brother. “Because all I do is disappoint everyone! Why do you even want me around, Jace? I abandoned you when you needed me the most. You should have told me to go f*ck myself a long time ago.”


Jace opened his mouth and closed it again, shock flashing across his face. “You think I see you as a disappointment?”

When Nate didn’t answer, his brother shook his head. “You’re the only one who believes that, Nate. How could I think of you as a disappointment? Do you have any idea how many times you’ve bailed my ass out over the past two years with the bar? Because I’ve lost count.”

Wordlessly, Nate picked up an empty box.

Jace knocked it out of his hand. “Listen to me for once.”

Nate gritted his teeth and took a step back to put some distance between them. Pain flared to life behind his temple, pulsing, clawing at his skull. “What the f*ck do you want from me?”

“I want you to pull your head out of your ass and beat this thing!” he shouted. “I know you’re hurting. I know you’re going through a lot of shit. But you don’t have to do it alone.”

“You think I don’t want to beat it?” He pounded a fist on his chest. “You think I don’t want to get past this shit and be a good brother to you? Stop being such a f*ck-up?”

“You are a good brother?” Jace said, sounding suddenly tired. “You’re a good guy, Nate.” He grabbed his jacket from the back of the couch and headed for the door. “You want to know what will disappoint me?”

“What’s that?”

“Seeing you be an idiot and walk away from the best thing that’s ever happened to you.”

Jace stopped at the front door and picked up Nate’s apartment keys. He looked back at Nate and gave him a half smile.

“These might make one hell of a gesture…just saying.”

He dropped them on the table by the door and walked out, leaving Nate staring at the keys as though they were a lifeline. Hope sparked to life inside of him and a plan began to unravel in his mind. It was a long shot…but he had to believe that it would work. Because life without Lilly—

No. It had to work.

…

Lilly slipped her camera strap around her neck and stepped out of her car, taking in the beautiful Reynolds Gardens where she was supposed to meet her clients. She’d been a little afraid that the heat of July would have dimmed the beauty, but it hadn’t. Flowers of every color were in full bloom and the air smelled of orange blossoms and lavender and about a hundred other scents that she couldn’t place.

She walked along the lush, grassy path to the clearing where she was supposed to meet her new clients. Crumbling concrete cherubs and benches engraved with verses about love made the spot a perfect choice for engagement photos. Whoever these clients were had good taste.

She sat down on a bench and traced her fingers over the faded verse. She heard footsteps and looked up. Her heart raced before dropping to her stomach.

“Nate?” She froze in consternation.

“Hey.” He smiled, but something was different about him. Despite being in crisp jeans and a gray button-down shirt that made him look absolutely delicious, he appeared as though he hadn’t slept in days.

Also, he had a puppy on a leash trailing behind him.

His haunted blue gaze looked greedily over her.

Lilly rose on shaky legs. “What are you doing here?” Was that really her own breathy voice? She shook her self mentally. She needed to get it together. Be strong.

“I, um…” He seemed at a loss for words.

Suddenly, it hit her. He’d set this up. She fought the urge to throw her camera at his ridiculously handsome face. “You! You’re the client. You lured me out here under false pretenses, pretending to need photos.” She sputtered. “Are you kidding me, Nate?”

He stepped toward her, and she backed away. He frowned. “I wouldn’t have had to do any of this if you’d just answered one of my calls. Jesus, Lilly. I’ve been going out of my mind.”

Hell, no. She couldn’t hear any of this. Not now. She pressed a hand over her stomach and took a deep breath. “You lied to me. That’s all that matters. I don’t want or need whatever apology you’ve worked up, Nate.”

He halted his advance. He looked lost as he said, “I’m in love with you, Lil.”

Shock welded her in place. “What did you say?”

He stepped forward, backing her up against a large cherub statue. The concrete dug into her back. He planted his hand on the stone behind her. His eyes blazed, and she trembled beneath his stare, heat sparking a need so strong it took her breath away.

“I. Love. You,” he repeated, slowly. “I didn’t tell you I was leaving because…I didn’t know what I wanted. Not in the beginning. And by the time I figured it out, I was terrified you wouldn’t stay with me. That you would see my leaving as abandoning you.”

“Nate, I—”

“Shhh.” He pressed his forehead against hers and exhaled a shaky breath. “When you left after the wedding— My world fell apart, Lil. I didn’t think it was possible for something that was already in tatters to crumble like that. I’m sorry, baby. I want to do whatever it takes to make this right. I want to try to make it work.”

Lilly’s knees gave out and Nate caught her. Her heart was pounding against her ribs so hard it had to be doing internal damage. He…loved her? Tears burned her eyes as her mind replayed every moment with him over the past year. All of those moments had led to this? The guarded part of her mind screamed for her to run like hell. To lock herself back in the unfeeling tower she’d lived in for so long. The rest of her melted into his warmth, knowing without a doubt that he was home. How the hell was she supposed to walk away from him now? He grabbed her hand and laid her palm over his chest. He looked down where his heart was beating against her palm.

“Can’t you feel it?” he whispered. “Can’t you feel how much I love you, Lil?”

Her head fell forward to lie against his chest and a sob ripped free from her throat. “Nate…I don’t know—”

“I know I’m asking a lot,” he rushed on. “But I have a plan. Please, just hear me out.”

She sniffled and looked down at the tiny white dog with a brown spot around one eye licking her ankle. “Whose dog is this?” she asked.

“Yours,” he said.

Her gaze snapped up. He had to be kidding. “I can’t have a dog in my apartment. Hell, I won’t even have an apartment in a week.”

Nate pulled a key out of his pocket and folded it into her palm. “You do now.”

She frowned down at it. Oh, no. No, no, no. “Nate—”

“It doesn’t have to mean what you’re thinking,” he rushed to say. “You can pay rent if you feel more comfortable doing that. And you can keep the puppy there…if you want him. Then when I come home, we can see how you feel about things. About me.”

He’d said when he comes home. Her eyes watered as she peered down at the tiny scruffball between them. “Of course I want him.”

“What about me?” he asked. “Think you could want me, too?”

A roaring ache in her heart refused to be quieted. Her desire for this man refused to be extinguished. She felt alive from the heady mix of her emotions. She felt alive because he was touching her. Wanting her. Needing her, the way she needed him.

“Nate,” she whispered, feeling herself sway against him.

“Tell me you want this, too.” His lips brushed against her temple, her cheek, her mouth. “Say something, Princess. Anything.”


She swallowed heavily. “I—”

“Lilly, I f*cked up big time. But you have to know I would never hurt you again, the way I did in the beginning. I couldn’t walk away from you now if I wanted to. I can’t do anything about the fact that I’m being deployed, but if you could just give us a chance. If you’d wait for me—”

“Nate, stop,” she cut him off before he could say any more. She smiled up at him. “I love you, too.”

…

“You love me?” Nate repeated, the words feeling foreign in his mouth. “Really?”

Lilly loved him.

He was being torn apart. He was being stitched back together. Shock and awe stole any words he might have produced. He hadn’t gone into this meeting with any expectations. He’d known it was a long shot, but…she f*cking loved him. She still wanted him.

Her eyes glistened as she nodded, and his heart raced, overcome with joy.

He cupped her face with both hands and kissed her before she could take another breath. Or change her mind.

Like magic, she melted into him, the tension leaving her body at the touch of his mouth to hers. She parted her lips on a moan, and he took full advantage, his tongue sweeping inside to taste. To claim. She belonged to him. And he belonged to her. He’d go to hell and back for this woman. And he was going to make damn sure she knew it. Knew that he was never going to desert her.

He would never be the bastard her father was. He was going to give this woman everything he had. Everything he was.

The tender, healing kiss he’d meant to give her turned urgent. Necessary.

He gripped her hips and she arched into him, groaning breathily. He broke away to leave a trail of kisses down her throat.

“Nate. We should talk about this.”

“Later.” Right now his woman needed him. And he needed her just as badly.

He wanted to feel the connection that kept them tethered together. To feel the comfort of knowing she was with him, that he hadn’t lost her, after all.

He slid his hands up under her skirt, taking the fabric with him.

She grabbed his wrists. “Nate!” She cast a nervous glance around. “Someone might see!”

He inhaled a deep breath, fighting for control, then lifted her up. Her legs locked around his waist and he walked them back down the path to his truck. He opened the door, set her down on the back bench, and grabbed the small dog crate from the front.

After loading the puppy into it, he set it back in the bed of the truck. “Sorry, little guy,” he said. “Grown-up business.”

He climbed in and pulled Lilly onto his lap, his chest warming at the welcoming smile on her face. Thank f*ck for tinted windows.

Her hair fell forward as she twined her arms around his neck, framing her face in soft honey curls. He twirled a shorter piece around his finger and smiled at the memory.

She sank her teeth into her bottom lip. “You don’t have to say these things—”

Nate silenced her by pressing his finger to her lips. “I love you, Lilly Grayson. And I intend to spend the rest of my life making you believe it.”

He would, too. He’d live to make her happy. Giving her what she needed. And that promise started here. Now.

Her eyes misted over, and she kissed him, rubbing her core over his erection, needy moans slipping past her sultry lips. He grabbed her hips with a growl, and reached beneath her skirt to grab the lace panties blocking him from what he wanted.

He wanted her on his cock.

He tore the material in two and tossed it onto the floorboard.

She gasped, her hands working the button to his jeans. Then his zipper. Once she had his cock free, she wrapped her fingers around it.

He groaned. “I want you to ride me,” he grated out. “Now.”

He lifted her hips, and in one swift thrust, pulled her down onto his cock. They both groaned at the contact, and his head fell back against the seat.

She began to move, and he reached for the buttons of her blouse. F*ck it. He ripped open the blouse, buttons scattering across the seat. Her eyes widened on a sharp inhale.

Even better the second time.

He grinned. “I’ll buy you a new one.”

He pulled her bra down and drew her breast into his mouth, tongue swirling around her nipple until she bucked against him, riding him so hard the truck rocked.

“F*ck, baby,” he groaned, and buried his face into her neck. He breathed her in. Ginger and vanilla. Home. He’d never let her go. Not ever. “You’re mine,” he growled. “I want to hear you say it.”

“Oh, God. I’m yours, Nate. All yours.”

He thrust hard up into her, and that was all it took. She came apart in his arms, her inner muscles clamping around his cock, demanding everything he had to give.

“I love you, Nate,” she cried. “Oh, God. I love—”

He smothered her words with a searing kiss, and exploded inside her.

“Lilly!” He stilled her hips, pouring himself into her.

Heart. Body. And soul.

…

Lilly lay across Nate’s chest and twined her legs through his, her heart soaring with happiness. They’d been lying in the cab of his truck in comfortable, sated silence for the last half hour.

He loved her.

She burrowed her face into his neck, unable to keep the sappy smile from her lips. She could feel his warm breath in her hair.

She laced their fingers together, the perfect moment marred by a spike of sadness. “You’re still leaving.”

He shifted under her. “Baby, I signed the papers. There aren’t really a lot of options left.” He let out a sigh. “But even if I could get out of it, I need to do this. For me. To be able to come back a better man for you. I survived something that logic says I shouldn’t have walked away from. I was given a second chance. I want to do something with that. I want to save lives again. I can’t leave it the way I did. It can’t end like that for me.”

“What if something terrible happens to you?”

He gripped her chin. “That won’t happen. I won’t let it. I have too much to come home to.”

“What about Jace, and the bar?”

“The bar has always been Jace’s thing. Not mine. I’ll keep my shares, be a silent partner as always, but that’s it.”

She leaned up on her elbow and kissed him. “And that’s what you want?”

He brushed the hair from her eyes. “What I want is you. I want a reason to live, not an excuse to die.”

“You love me,” she whispered, kissing him again. “I can’t believe it.”

He grinned against her mouth, and caressed her hip. “Like I said. I have a weakness for smart-mouthed blondes who like to push my buttons.”

She smiled, and trailed her fingers playfully down his chest. “And what buttons am I pushing now?” she whispered, wrapping her fingers around his growing hard-on. She stroked it up and down, and he growled, flipping her onto her back.

“Princess, you just pushed the best one.”





Epilogue


“You have got to stop pacing,” Hayden groaned. “You’re making me dizzy.”

“So video something else,” Lilly said, refusing to take her eyes off the escalator leading to the airport baggage claim area where they stood. “You just happen to have the cutest baby in all of God’s creation right over there. Tape him.”

Lilly pulled her bottom lip between her teeth watching people and suitcases trickle off the moving stairs. Nate should be coming down them any minute.


He had been gone seven months. Seven long months of short letters and even shorter phone calls with crappy reception. Seven agonizing months of worrying every night if he was going to come home safe. And now he was in the same building with her. Somewhere.

In a few minutes there wouldn’t even be that space separating them. She’d be able to kiss him and touch him, and know beyond a shadow of a doubt that he was alive and well.

Her heart felt like it was going to explode. She’d had enough of waiting. She was ready for the man she loved more than life itself to appear so she could shackle him to their bed and never let him go again.

Behind her, Jace chuckled. “Hayden’s right. You have got to chill out, Lil. You’re even making Ben nervous.”

Lilly turned and smiled down at the one-month-old baby Jace was cradling in his arms. He and Hayden looked exhausted. Blissfully happy, but exhausted. Ben blinked up at her and she grabbed his little hand.

“You get to meet your uncle today,” she cooed. “I think you’re going to like him. I know I do.”

She looked up and caught Jace exchanging a worried look with his wife. He’d probably spent just as many nights awake as she had, hoping and praying that his brother would come home safe.

Hayden lowered her camera and smiled. “It won’t be like last time,” she reassured him, and looked to Lilly. “Right? Tell him.”

Lilly nodded, and stroked Ben’s tiny hand with a fingertip. “Right.”

Jace kissed the top of Ben’s head, tension still evident in the stiff set of his shoulders. “I hope to hell you’re right.”

She knew his fears. The last time Nate had come home, he’d been utterly broken after having narrowly escaped death. This time had to be different. Nate had told her this was what he’d needed to do in order to heal, and she’d believed him. She’d trusted he would do everything in his power to come home safely and give their relationship a real shot.

“Lilly! I think that’s him.” Hayden tapped her arm and Lilly darted her gaze to the escalator where a pair of camo pants and black boots started to descend.

Her heart stopped, then sped into overdrive when the rest of him appeared. A black T-shirt stretched over a chest that looked even more chiseled and toned than the last time she’d seen him. Dog tags dangled around his neck, and his hair was buzzed even shorter than usual.

His lips split into a huge smile at the sight of her. He dropped his duffel at the bottom of the stairs and took off at a sprint toward her.

She squealed in happiness as he plowed into her, scooping her up into his arms and crushing her against his chest. She couldn’t stop the sob of relief that escaped her, but in a heartbeat it was muffled by Nate’s mouth crushing against hers.

She vaguely realized he was walking them away from the crowd as he parted her lips with his tongue. His two strong arms banded around her so tightly she had trouble breathing, but she didn’t want him to let go. Not even for a second.

She kissed him back and fisted his T-shirt, hugging, tugging, hating the barrier between them. “God, I missed you.”

He pulled away, breathing hard and laughing all at the same time. “I missed you, too, Princess,” he said, wiping the tears from her face with the pads of his thumbs. “You have no idea how much.”

Behind them, a throat cleared. “You guys might want to keep this reunion       PG-rated. We have a kid now, you know?”

Nate smiled at Jace over her shoulder, and let her slip down his body at a slow, torturous speed. When her feet hit the floor, he leaned down to nip her earlobe and his fingers curled around the hem of her dress.

“I’m going to go make nice and meet my nephew,” he whispered. “But then I need to get you alone. We have a lot of time to make up for.”

Heat flooded her body and she stifled a groan of need. He kissed her cheek and pulled away with a satisfied smile, knowing exactly what he’d just done to her.

Jace handed the baby off to Hayden and pulled Nate into a back-slapping hug. “You look good, bro.” Jace’s voice sounded muffled against Nate’s shoulder. “You look…better.”

“I am better.” He pulled back and punched Jace on the shoulder with a grin. “You, on the other hand, look like shit, Pops. When was the last time you slept?”

Jace made a face. “We’ll see how well you sleep when you have one of these waking you up every two hours.”

Nate’s gaze shifted to Hayden and the baby. “Aw, Hayden, he’s beautiful.” He gave her a hug and took the baby.

Lilly’s heart melted at the look of pure awe on his face as he peered down into those little blue eyes.

“Hey, little man,” he murmured softly. “You know…I thought I’d have all these words of wisdom to give you, but somehow, I don’t think you’ll need any of them. You’ve got an awesome mom and dad. They’ll steer you in the right direction. And it just so happens you also have an amazing uncle—who’ll teach you how to give them hell. You don’t want to take it too easy on your old man. We don’t want him going soft on us.”

Hayden laughed as he kissed Ben’s tiny hand, then passed the baby back to her. “You did good, Half Pint.”

He turned back to Lilly, and a swarm of butterflies took flight in her stomach. The desire and unbelievable love shining back at her from his eyes were enough to make her lose her breath. Before she had time to comprehend what was happening, he took something Jace gave him, then dropped to one knee in front of her.

Her hands flew to her mouth. What was he doing? He couldn’t possibly be—

Could he?

Nate looked up at her, his heart shining through his tender gaze. His lips curved up, and her eyes flooded with tears for the second time that day. She let out a sob of happiness.

“Lilly, when I met you, I didn’t even know who I was anymore,” he said softly. “But you made me realize who I wanted to be. You made me want to be the kind of man who deserves to wake up next to someone like you every morning for the rest of his life.”

“Oh my God, Nate…”

“Being away from you the past seven months has only made me more sure of what I already knew. I love you. I love that you know every one of my buttons and just how to push them. I love that you challenge me and never let me get away with screwing up. I love how strong you are. How brave you are. How beautiful you are, inside and out. And I love that when I look at you, I see the woman who’ll be the mother of my kids someday. The only woman I’ll ever want, for the rest of my life.”

Joy filled her whole being. She wiped at the tears spilling silently down her face, and hiccuped another little sob, unable to summon words.

The crowd that gathered around them let out a collective sigh as he grabbed her hand and held up the open ring box.

“Marry me, baby.” He slid the ring from its velvet cushion. “Marry me, and I’ll spend the rest of my life making you happy.”

“Yes,” Lilly choked out, her throat tight and her heart overflowing. “Of course I will. Yes!”

He slipped the ring onto her trembling finger, and the crowd cheered. He wrapped his arms around her and then his lips were on hers, pouring a lifetime’s worth of love and passion into his kiss.

Beside them, Hayden’s camera flashed, and Jace walked up grinning, the baby over one shoulder and Nate’s duffel bag over the other. “Hey. Get a room, you two.”


Lilly pulled away, laughing through her tears of joy. Nate rested his forehead against hers, and the heat in his gaze ignited a need within her that she knew wouldn’t ever go away. A need that had been waiting a lifetime to be met.

“Need a ride, Princess?” he asked, his voice low and bad-boy sultry.

“Oh, yeah,” she whispered. “Take me home, Soldier Boy.”





Acknowledgments


First and foremost, a huge thank-you to the three amazing editors who helped me turn this book into a story that will always have a special place in my heart. Heather Howland, who I can always count on to listen to me ramble about people and places that don’t exist and help me turn them into something unforgettable. To Nina Bruhns and Kari Olson who helped to make this book shine, and gave it exactly what it needed. Thank you and big hugs to Katee Robert and the Rabble for accepting me into your awesome group, and giving me support, laughs, amazing excerpts, and pictures of sexy men exactly when I need them. To my mom and dad for always being my biggest fans and for cheering me on no matter what direction I decide to take in life. Thank you to my husband and two boys for taking this crazy journey with me and loving me even when the laundry isn’t done and dinner isn’t cooked. Thank you to my readers! You guys make all of it worth it. Thank you for loving my characters as much as I do. And last but certainly not least, thank you to the men and women who serve and sacrifice for our country every single day.