Tempted by the Soldier

Chapter Eighteen


Lilly focused the lens of her camera on Hayden as the beautiful bride put the final touches on her hair and makeup. The train of her ivory dress was spread around her on the floor, making it appear as if she were floating on a cloud of silk. Lilly wandered around the room, mindlessly snapping pre-wedding shots until she had to replace her memory card. It was good to have something to do. To keep her from breaking down.

Her heart still ached over what had happened with Nate the night before. She would have given anything for a chance to prove him wrong. For a chance to stay by his side. But he was hell-bent on being alone. Her heart shattered all over again, thinking about the pain in his eyes and the regret in his voice as he’d delivered the deathblow to their relationship. She still couldn’t get his words out of her head.

He’s said he wanted to save her from him. Like her getting hurt was inevitable. Didn’t he understand he was hurting her so much more by pushing her way?

She shook off her depressing thoughts and immersed herself in this perfectly romantic day. And on her photography. She was good at her job, and the reason was that she focused on the details. Picked out the good and discarded the bad, to find the perfect shot that captured what the person was feeling in that moment in time. It wasn’t lost on her that she had a talent for picking up on something she herself had never really had—love and happiness.

Maybe it was because, deep down, she wanted that more than she was willing to admit.

This wedding was going to be cake. There was nothing but love between Jace and Hayden. The kind of love people wrote songs about. And she couldn’t have asked for a better canvas. The setting was picture-perfect. She could see why Hayden had insisted on getting married here.

Lilly placed her hands on the windowsill and gazed out over the lush landscape. It looked like something in a Thomas Kinkade painting.

“Okay girls!” Hayden’s mother clapped her hands, tears already smudging her mascara. “Let’s have a wedding!”

Lilly snapped a picture just as Hayden turned to her and smiled. “Is this really happening?”

Clasping her friend’s hand, she swallowed the pesky lump clogging her throat. “Yeah, babe. It’s real. And you deserve every minute of this beautiful day. Now, don’t you dare cry. You’ll ruin your makeup. I can only do so much with Photoshop.”

Hayden’s gaze dropped briefly to the scar on her arm from a bullet that had grazed her last year while she’d been on location in the Sudan.

Lilly put her hand over the scar and smiled. “That much, I can do. You’ll never know it was there.”

“Thank you, Lil.” Hayden gave her a hug and adjusted her veil. “Can you be sure to get some good shots of Nate today?”

Lilly adjusted the focus in the camera, trying to hide the fact that she was dying inside. The man had broken her heart, and now she was going to have to take pictures of him all day. “Of course. He’s the best man.”

“I want to make sure to have some recent pictures of him, in case—” Hayden’s voice wavered and she laid her hand over her belly. “I mean, to show the baby. He won’t be here when it’s born.” She straightened and looked Lilly in the eyes. “I want him to know who his uncle is when he comes home again.”

Lilly’s fingers froze around the lens and her heart stuttered in her chest. She squeezed the camera so tightly her knuckles blanched white. “You don’t think he’ll come back, do you?” she whispered.

Hayden stopped smoothing her veil. “Of course he’ll come back. It’s just…” She swallowed. “Of course he’ll come back.”

Lilly bit her lip and looked down at her camera, concentrating on one breath at a time. Being a Marine was a dangerous job. He’d barely gotten out alive last time. What were the odds he’d have that kind of luck again if things went wrong?

“He’s going to be fine, Lil,” Hayden assured her. “He’s already made it through two tours. He knows the ropes.”

Lilly nodded, and slipped her camera strap around her neck, taking another deep breath. She couldn’t break down. Not here or now. This was Hayden’s day.

Tomorrow. Tomorrow, Lilly would be back home where she could allow herself to crack wide open. But right now she had a job to do, and she’d be damned if she let a man ruin the incredible opportunity Hayden had set up for her with New York Bridal Magazine.

“Lilly—”

“Will you be pissed at me if I leave right after the reception?” she asked. “I’ll get all the shots you need, but I want to get back to my computer as soon as possible to put together the package for the magazine. So I reserved an early flight out. I won’t be able to stay to see you off on your honeymoon.”

Hayden searched her face for a moment, and sighed. “If that’s what you need to do, I support you. But I really wish you would give him a chance.”

Was she really that transparent? Apparently.

But Nate had too many issues to take another chance on him. Lilly’s heart couldn’t bear another rejection. He’d already hurt her too many times. Too deeply.

But the fact was, it didn’t matter if she accepted his flaws and forgave him. Nate was never going to forgive himself. She quelled the anger and hurt rising up inside, and swiped a tear away from her cheek. She forced a smile and leaned over to fluff Hayden’s dress.

“Come on, babe,” she said. “Let’s go get you married.”

…

Nate strode into the music-filled barn, his eyes immediately doing a quick scan for blond hair and a lavender dress. He had to find Lilly. After the way they’d left things last night, he had to apologize. He had to explain. Make her understand that he wanted more with her. He wanted everything, despite the fact that he was leaving.

They could find a way to make it work. They had to.

Hearing her say good-bye to him had only proved what he already knew. He loved her. He needed her. And there was no way in hell he was letting her go that easily.


He’d seen her flitting around the ceremony and reception, doing what she did best. It really was amazing seeing her work. She was great behind the camera—the way she handled people, how easily she brought out a smile or a laugh for the shot. The way she found light in even the darkest places.

Not that there were many dark places here today. Watching Jace say his vows to Hayden on that bridge, seeing the pure joy on his little brother’s face, it was the happiest Nate had felt in a long time. Finally, Jace had gotten a break. Gotten what he deserved. He choked back the emotion the day had brought on and took a swig of his beer.

He just hoped Lilly would still be willing to see a little light in him. Because he was nowhere near ready for this to be over between them. Not even close. A long-distance relationship wouldn’t be easy, but he had faith in himself. In them. In what they could have together.

“Hey.” Jace clasped a hand on his shoulder and grinned. “Nice toast.”

Nate laughed, looking over his brother’s tux matched with Converse tennis shoes. “Yeah. A real crowd-pleaser.”

“I especially liked the part about me being an inspiration. The bravest person you’ve ever met. You forgot to mention my brilliant wit and panty-dropping good looks, though.”

Nate’s grin widened. “And be responsible for spreading lies at my own brother’s wedding? Never.”

“I think you have half the bridesmaids ready to climb Mount Nate.”

Nate rolled his eyes, watching the crowd thin, still not seeing Lilly. “Not interested.”

“Can I give you a word of advice?” Jace asked. “If you really care, go get the f*cking girl. All the other bullshit will work itself out.”

Nate’s lips quirked at hearing his brother practically quote the advice Nate had given him last year when he’d told him to go after Hayden. “Sounds like you’ve been listening to one smart bastard.”

Jace made a face. “He’s got his moments.”

Nate scanned the room again, tugging at his tie. The damn monkey suit was suffocating him. Hayden danced over, laughing, and wrapped her arms around his neck.

He picked her up and spun her in a circle with a grin. “You look like something out of damn fairy tale, Half Pint.” Her ivory dress was simple satin, styled like a corset in the back, secured by what looked like a million strings and pearl buttons. He smirked, thinking Jace was going to have a hell of a time unwrapping his bride later. He smiled fondly down at her, wishing like hell his parents had been here to celebrate with them. He had no doubt they’d have been thrilled to have Hayden as part of the family. “Just beautiful.”

She beamed. “Since I’m officially your sister now, I think we should vote.” Her gaze drifted over to her new husband. “All those in favor of Nate banishing the nickname Half Pint from his vocabulary, raise your hand.”

He and Jace exchanged a conspiratorial glance, and Nate clinked Jace’s beer bottle with his own. Hayden was the only one raising her hand.

She pouted. “Not fair, guys.”

“Brothers rarely are,” Jace drawled.

Nate lifted his beer bottle in a toast to her, and smirked. “Neither are uncles, from what I hear.”

She gasped, and punched Jace in the arm. “Hey! You told him about the baby?”

Jace laughed, rubbing his biceps. “I had to tell someone.”

Nate smiled, thinking about a miniature Jace being a part of their lives. If he took after his daddy, they were all going to be in for one hell of a ride.

He kissed Hayden on the cheek and patted her barely there bump. “This is going to be one lucky kid,” he said.

Watching his brother and Hayden together made the hollow space in his chest throb—a steady beat that pulsed out the name Lilly over and over. He cast another look around the reception hall. “Is Lilly still taking photos outside?”

Hayden frowned and exchanged a look with Jace.

Nate frowned. “What am I missing?”

She sighed and laid her hand on his arm. Oh shit.

“Lilly left about an hour ago,” Hayden said. “She caught an early flight back to Charlotte.”

He took a step back. “What the hell? She’s the damn photographer!”

Hayden squeezed his arm, then dropped her hand. “I don’t know what you said to her, but she seemed a bit upset.”

He stabbed his fingers through his hair and tugged. No. F*ck… Please, no. She couldn’t just leave. It couldn’t end like this.

The floor seemed to drop out from under him and he was falling. She’d gone.

He thought back to everything he’d said last night, and cursed. She’d never trust him again. She’d meant it when she said good-bye.

How the f*ck had he let this happen? He should have gone to her sooner. He should have reassured her.

He should have told her he loved her.

“Nate…are you okay?” Hayden’s concerned voice broke through the haze and he stumbled back.

F*ck this. Lilly wasn’t walking out of his life this easily. Not when he’d been agonizing all day, trying to figure out a way to keep her in it.

He turned and took off, scooping the keys to the truck out of his pocket. “I’m outta here.”

“Nate!” Jace called after him. “Where the hell are you going?”

He stopped at the door, praying to any god that would still listen to a f*ck-up like him that he still had a chance to change her mind.

He tapped the truck key to his forehead and saluted his brother. “Taking your advice, bro. I’m going after the girl.”