Tempted by the Soldier

Chapter Thirteen


Lilly awoke suddenly, enveloped in darkness. She rubbed her eyes and blinked, allowing them to adjust to the unfamiliar room. Oh, thank God. No deer head. After they’d finished up with the relief effort, Nate had scoured the town until he found a quaint little bed-and-breakfast for them to stay at. Not only were there no animal carcasses to contend with, there had been cute little shell chocolates on the pillow and a breathtaking view of the canal that led to the sea outside the window. It was perfect.

She could only hope that when they reached their destination the cease-fire between them would continue. Because as much as she enjoyed pushing Nate’s buttons, she enjoyed this so much more. Now that she’d seen the man behind the hard, closed-off fa?ade, she’d never be able to go back to looking at him as a coldhearted jerk. He wasn’t coldhearted. He was just…broken.

She knew she couldn’t be the one to put him back together. That was something he had to figure out within himself. But she wanted to be there, helping him find the pieces, holding him together when he couldn’t do it alone. She could only hope he’d let her.

Beside her, Nate tossed and turned. Moonlight seeped in through a crack between the drapes, illuminating the hard line of his jaw as he slept. His limbs were twisted in the sheets and he fought against them as if he were tied up with ropes.

It was the first time she’d seen a sign of life out of him since she’d gotten out of the shower and found him asleep on the bed. It was the first time she’d actually seen him sleep. She’d quietly crawled in next to him, hoping he’d stay out long enough to wipe away the exhaustion from his face.

“No…” His gruff voice split the silence, jolting her fully awake.

She sat up and squinted through the dark, watching his features twist with dread. “Nate?” she whispered.

“I can’t… F*ck, we’re going down. God, no!” He groaned, and the sound slammed into her chest like a wrecking ball. He was in pain. He was terrified. God, what was he seeing? Or worse, reliving?

She scrambled to her knees and cupped the side of his face, and gently brushed the moisture from his temple. “Nate,” she repeated, a shade louder, but not wanting to startle him. Her heart pounded against her ribs. “Wake up, baby. Please wake up.”

“No, no, no!” A sob broke free from his chest.

Tears spilled down Lilly’s cheeks. In that moment, his pain was hers, and she would have done anything to pull him from whatever hell he was experiencing.

“Nate.” She shook him firmly by the shoulders.

His hand shot out and grabbed her wrist. His eyes flew open, looking glassy and dazed. Relief washed through her as they slowly cleared and focused on her face. A few of her curls slipped over her shoulder and brushed his bare chest.

“Lilly…” His voice broke, and he loosened his grip on her wrist but didn’t let go.

“You were having a nightmare,” she said worriedly. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know what to do.”

He looked away, and tension filled his frame as he sat up, trying to pull away from her.

She grabbed his hand to stop him. “Please, don’t leave. Nate, talk to me.”

“I… I can’t.”

His shoulders shook, and he squeezed his eyes shut as if still seeing the horrific scene that had plagued his sleep. He looked like he was falling apart.

Hold him together. Make him let you.

She pushed herself up on her knees and wrapped her arms around him from behind, pulling him back against her body. He exhaled a shaky breath and grabbed her hands, holding them against his chest. His heart beat a fast, steady rhythm against her open palm.


“Okay. Then don’t talk,” she murmured. “Just stay with me. Don’t run away.”

His thumb caressed her wrist, creating a delicious heat that spread across her skin like melted honey. He turned in her arms, so close his breath teased her lips. He reached up with his free hand to wipe a tear from her cheek. The way he was looking at her, his blue eyes burning with need, made her knees weak. The way he was touching her…she felt as though she was falling.

Gone was the cool and collected Lilly she’d vowed to be during this trip. She’d never been further from cool and collected in all her life. Raw desire was rushing through her, scorching all rational thought from her brain. Again.

“Do you need something?” she asked softly.

Was that her breathy voice?

Her fingers trembled against his skin, afraid of what he might say. Surprisingly, even more afraid of what he might not say.

His heated gaze dipped lower, lingering on her thin tank top before dropping down to her panties. He groaned, and slid a hand up her thigh. “Yes.”

“What?”

His head fell forward and he shut his eyes, pressing his forehead against hers. “Too much. I need too f*cking much.”

His fingers stopped just before they reached the edge of her panties and dug into her skin, tense, as if he was fighting for control.

She didn’t want him to have to fight anymore. She wanted to give him peace.

She slid her hands up his chest and he shuddered at her touch.

His gaze met hers, searching, conflicted, and, oh, so heated. She leaned forward, heart racing, and pressed an openmouthed kiss to his chest. If he wasn’t ready to take what he needed, she’d give it to him. His heart was pounding so fiercely she could feel it against her lips. She moved down and kissed his stomach. His muscles tensed under her and he fisted the bedsheets. Looking up to find him watching her raptly, she slid her hands up his thighs, thumbs brushing the rigid erection pressing against his zipper. His eyes blazed with heat, passion, and raw need.

Slowly, she drew down his zipper and his erection sprang free. She rubbed her cheek against it lovingly, before kissing the tip.

“Is this what you need?”

“God, yes.” He bucked forward and she swallowed him to the hilt. He hit the back of her throat and she slid her mouth up, and back down, repeating the process over and over, loving the taste of him, the feel of him coming apart because of her touch. She brought her tongue and teeth into play, and his head fell back on a strangled moan. “F*ck, baby…you have to stop or I’m going to come.”

She sucked him harder, and his fingers threaded through her hair as he groaned, tugging her up to meet his mouth. They lingered there, with only an inch separating them, looking into each other’s eyes.

“Tell me what you want, Nate.”

“You,” he whispered, voice cracking with emotion. “It’s always been you.”

He brought their lips together in a kiss so tender it felt like an apology, clutching her so desperately against him, the air between them was lost. He’d touched her so many times, but never like this. Never as though it would break him to let her go. So fast her head spun, he had her on her back, never breaking the seal of their lips for even a second.

She poured everything she had into that kiss. Showing him the things she was too afraid to say out loud.

She let him have control, knowing it was what he needed. His hands slid up her sides, taking her tank top with them. He tossed it into the darkness. Planting his fists on either side of her head, he let his gaze drift over her face, as if memorizing each individual feature.

“You’re so f*cking beautiful, Lil,” he whispered. “So perfect.”

She reached out, and her fingers traced the scarred flesh that split his tattoo into pieces. She leaned in and placed a gentle kiss to his damaged skin, and whispered, “So are you.”

He raised up on his palms and his lips captured hers in a desperate, hungry kiss that consumed her, pulled her under, and broke her wide open. She clutched at his shoulders, digging her nails into his skin, and he groaned into her mouth. The sound was a perfect vibration against her lips. Words weren’t needed. She wanted this. Needed it.

Anything to soothe his wounds. Give him peace.

His hands moved over her desperately, igniting every cell in her body until they were screaming for more. He straddled her hips and unsnapped her bra, tossing it somewhere behind him to join the tank top. She shoved her hands up his chest and his head fell back on a moan as she explored hard dips and ridges of his abdomen.

“Christ…I want you,” he breathed. “I want you more than I want my next breath.”

“Then take me.”

He rid himself of his clothes and stretched out over her, so that every inch of his body pressed against hers, branding her in a way she’d never forget. He linked their fingers together, pinning her hands to the bed, and slid inside her in one long, brutal stroke. She cried out, and he muffled the sound with another scorching kiss. She was lost in the all-consuming, almost devastating way she needed him. It wasn’t enough. She needed to be closer. She clutched at his ass and hauled him against her, the move seeming to push him over the edge even further. They moved together in a frantic joining that had nothing to do with technique and everything to do with connection. She was overcome with emotion, with desire.

They melted together until she couldn’t tell where one feeling began and the other ended. There was no keeping this separate anymore. No keeping her emotions out of it.

She loved him.

She loved him so much it hurt.

She arched up, needing him deeper. Needing him to tattoo her soul with this experience. He buried his face in her neck and moaned as he brought her closer and closer to the edge. Grunting. Thrusting. Driving.

“Nate…I need you,” she whimpered, wishing he knew just how much.

“Oh, God, baby,” he breathed, panting, pounding. “I need you, too. So much.”

She wrapped her legs around his waist and he rolled his hips, grinding against her. She tensed, and her orgasm ripped through her in a hot, wet flash of intense pleasure. She cried out, and he pressed his forehead to hers, groaning as he pulsed and throbbed, finding his own release.

Afterward, he collapsed on top of her, his heart pounding against hers. The sound of their labored breathing echoed through the room. She smoothed her fingers through his hair and he buried his face against her neck.

“I don’t want to hurt you, Lil,” he whispered against her sweat-slicked skin.

Her fingers paused and her heart nearly stopped. “Why do you think you’re going to hurt me?”

It took him a long time to answer, but at length he said, “Because I hurt everything I touch.”