Never Enough

chapter 8



Trevor kissed my forehead and looked at me with concern in his eyes. I hated that look. He didn’t say anything though. Just smiled and asked if he could shower. I showed him where the towels and everything he would need were located and he kissed me one more time and disappeared into the bathroom. If Halley were awake she’d probably tell me to go join him. I laughed at all the ways that could go wrong. Either I would slip and fall or he would reject me. Oh god, I wasn’t ready for rejection. Maybe all this was a bad idea. Maybe it was too soon. He probably didn’t even want to have sex with me yet. I slipped out of my jeans and threw on some soft shorts. I threw my bra and shirt in the hamper and put on a tank top. This was close to my normal sleep wear, I wasn’t going to sleep all bundled up just because he was here. He was my boyfriend for crying out loud.

I just finished putting my hair in a ponytail when he walked in wearing some dark gray boxers and a white shirt. He smelt amazing just out of the shower. I wanted to pinch myself like that one day but I looked crazy that day and it hurt so I decided to relive it would be unnecessary.

He walked up to me and pulled me into him and kissed me long and hard. Finally. He finished the kiss he started in the bar. My heart was pounding in my chest. When he pulled back he smiled, “I love you. I’m glad you asked me to stay the night with you.”

My mouth opened but no words came out. All we did was kiss and I was trying to catch my breath. After a few seconds I replied, “I love you too.”

I sat down and he sat beside me. I wondered who was supposed to start what but then my brain reminded me that he had no idea I had been thinking about this all night. I leaned over and wrapped my arms around his neck and began kissing him again. He didn’t stop me. He kissed me back just as passionately as before and placed his arms around my waist. His hand went under my shirt and brushed against my bare skin. His touch felt electric. I wanted more. I fumbled with his shirt and tried to raise it up. This was not as easy as the movies made it look.

He paused and looked at me. “Mace, are you sure?”

I answered rather breathy, “Yes.”

He took his shirt off and damn Halley if she wasn’t right. Any self-control I had just left the building. The ripples in his abs were amazing. I ran my hand over his stomach and brought them back around his neck. I noticed a few tattoos on his chest I’d never seen before, holy moly. He began kissing me again and slowly lowered me to the bed. His body was hovering just inches over mine. His lips moved from my mouth to my neck and I let out a slight moan. He kissed my collarbone and back up my neck and met my mouth again. My heart was pounding harder than before. It felt like it were going to beat right out my chest. He raised me up some and began to lift my shirt. Before he continued he met my eyes for approval and I nodded. My shirt came off and he kissed me again. His trail of kisses went back down my neck and his mouth went around my breast and I moaned again. He sucked my nipple while he caressed the other. Several moans of pleasure left my mouth.

“Ohmigod Trevor..”

He continued then switched to the other. His hand brushed my stomach and met my shorts. My body wanted him. I raised my hips and with ease he removed my shorts. The fear I had earlier suddenly subsided. I know I was safe with him. His lips met mine again and he slowly slid a finger inside me. I moaned and fumbled with his boxers. I pulled them down as far as I could and he kicked them off. He slid his finger in and out and then inserted two. My hips rocked with the rhythm.

“Damn Mace, you’re so wet.” His breathing was ragged and he sounded so sexy.

“Don’t stop. I want you.” My breathing matched his. I kissed him again and he continued.

He slipped his fingers out and grabbed his wallet. For a second I wondered what the hell was going on but he pulled out a condom. Ohmigod, I silently sat there thankful he had one. I never thought about that. I figured he already had it on and I yanked him back down to me.

“Are you sure? We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.”

I kissed his lips and replied, “Shut up and make love to me.”

He grinned and kissed me. My arms were around his neck and he slowly began to slide in. I moaned while he got positioned inside me and he slowly began our rhythm. He felt so amazing. His lips met mine as he rocked in and out. I kept up eagerly watching him watch me. I suddenly felt a wild burst of energy unlike anything I’ve ever felt before and I had to grab his arms to steady myself as I released. I swear to God my toes curled. He continued to slide in and out and I felt it building up again ready to explode into a million tiny pieces. He looked at me and smiled then we both let out a moan and he collapsed onto me.

My eyes went from my naked body to his. This just happened. Wow. And it was amazing. No feelings of regret filled me and I was able to breathe easy. I felt..normal, like this is what normal people do. They have fun, they fall in love, they have sex. Trevor smiled at me and kissed my lips. “That was amazing.”

I tried not to giggle too much as I replied, “You can say that again.” I reached on the side of the bed and grabbed my shirt and shorts and quickly threw them back on. He put his boxers back on and lay beside me. He wrapped his arms around me and thoughts of feeling actually wanted filled my head. This is what it felt like to be enough for someone and to be loved. I definitely could get used to this. I lay there with my thoughts swimming around in my head for what seemed like forever and after replaying some of them again, I fell right asleep.

******

The sun was up. I know this because it was shining in my face. I groaned while thinking to myself I really needed room darkening shades. It’s not like they were expensive, I was just too lazy to go to the store and actually buy one. I didn’t want to even know the time, I just wanted to go back to sleep. I rolled over trying to get somewhat comfortable and try to sleep again but instead I found Trevor awake watching me.

“Good morning beautiful.” He brushed the hair out of my face and planted a big kiss on my lips. I didn‘t dare open my mouth. I had just woken up and no one should have to smell that. Morning breath was foul, I didn’t want to scare him off after the amazing night we had.

“Good morning. How’d you sleep last night?”

He smiled and replied, “I slept like a baby.” He started looking around my room. He’d been in briefly before but never long enough to really notice anything. “You were a cheerleader in high school Macy? How come I never knew this?” His smile curved up. The picture of me and some of my friends from then before one of our football games was in his hand. I actually did used to have a life. I loved it.

“Yes I was a cheerleader all throughout high school. Hard to believe huh?” I let out a laugh then my expression turned serious. “But I quit the squad right after everything began happening. It was my senior year and we had competitions coming up and I just let it all go. Nothing was ever the same after that night.”

“Well that’s a shame. You look hot in a uniform. Do you still have it? Maybe you could model it for me one day?” He definitely had no shame in his game. He gave the picture one more look and then placed it back.

I looked into those gorgeous eyes. A smile escaped my lips as he leaned in to kiss me. “I may still have it lying around who knows?” He threw me back on the bed and kissed me, tickling my sides and playing around.

I finally managed to escape. The living room was clear. Good. Halley and Marcus were still sleeping so I decided to sprint down to the bathroom and clean up. Trevor lay in the bed watching me get my clothes and he smiled constantly. I left him lying on the bed and ran. The warm water was refreshing as it ran off my body. I loved the new body wash I bought. The smell of vanilla and brown sugar filled the bathroom as I washed up. I wrapped a towel around my body and my hair as I finished. I grabbed my clothes and went to put them on. I felt a wild streak come across me and I semi dried my hair as I ran my fingers through it. I opened the bathroom door and peeked out. The coast was still clear. I darted back to the room, shut the door, dropped the towel and jumped on Trevor.

We lay in bed naked holding each other. Calmness filled my soul. I never knew what it was like to feel safe and have someone there for you. Someone to take care of you and love you uncontionally. These things were all foreign to me and I was trying like hell to adapt to it. I knew I was safe with him.

We couldn’t lie in bed all day though. Halley would soon come bursting inside if we stayed under the comforter and that would be super awkward to be found naked. She’d never let me live that one down, if she ever recovered from seeing it.

“What you want to do today?” I asked seriously but he was grinning so big I began laughing. “What are you grinning about Trevor?”

His eyes sparkled and he replied, “I want to stay here all day with you like this.”

My cheeks turned pink and I smacked his arm. “Well I’d love to too but we can’t. I promise we will do this later though.”

“God I love you. Why did I take so long to be with you?”

I felt myself almost get angry. What did he mean why did he take so long? Did he want to do it sooner? He knew everything but obviously he was still the typical man.

“Mace, did I say something wrong?” He sensed my anger and I bit my tongue to keep from completely lashing out and sounding crazy.

“Nothing I’m probably over reacting.” He looked at me puzzled. “You said why did I take so long to get with you. What’s wrong with when we had sex? Two months was killing you? Go find a groupie then.” That came out wrong and I sensed trouble. Why did I forget to use the muzzle on my mouth? Great. Good job Macy.

“What are you talking about?” He wasn’t mad but he had a confused look on his face. I got up and began putting my jeans on and a black blouse. My almost dry hair was hanging down my back. “I didn’t mean it like that babe. I was saying I wish I had begun trying to talk to you before we did. I don’t want anyone but you. Don’t say things like that they hurt.”

He stuck his lip out and began pouting. Ohmigod I was an idiot. “I’m sorry for jumping at you like that. I’m an idiot Trevor. I’m just not used to all this.” I kissed him and he stood up to hug me.

“I love you, Mace. You’re not an idiot.” He threw on his clothes from last night. He didn’t bring any clothes with him. At least he still smelt heavenly. I could smell him all day and I know that sounded creepy but trust me.

Our fingers laced together and we went into the kitchen where Halley was waiting and eyeing me suspiciously. I flashed her a grin as I fixed a cup of coffee and her jaw dropped. She knew exactly what happened.

Trevor went and sat on the couch with Marcus and they began talking band business. That wasn't hard to figure out, I mean what else could they possibly be talking about? Marcus held the notebook and pen and they were brainstorming. They were basically the masterminds behind the band.

Halley jerked my arm and pulled me into her room. Her bed was messy like it hadn’t been made in forever and a pair of Marcus’s boxers lay on the floor. That was a mental image I didn't need. Immediately I began trying to forget I ever looked down at her floor.

"So, did you..." My smile told her everything she needed to know. "Ohmigod!! How was it?! I want to know everything! Wait scratch the horny details I don't need that!"

"Hales, it was amazing! We've had sex three times since last night. Man, it was heaven." I smiled remembering how amazing he felt inside me. How free it made me feel.

"Hahaha ok you're starting to gross me out! I'm so happy for you. I genuinely truly am."

She hugged me and she must have noticed the boxers because they had flown under the bed. I wasn’t sure if my face had given it away when we walked in, regardless I was glad to see them gone.

******

Two weeks had passed and Halley and I were sitting around talking sharing our own love stories to each other. Giggling was something we did very well together. The guys never really understood they would just roll their eyes and continue their own little conversations in the corner. They sat on the couch while we were talking. They were talking amongst themselves. We ran into the room for Halley to tell me a story she was too worried Marcus would hear. Something about one night they were having sex and after that I quit listening. Some things even best friends didn’t need to hear. I just nodded and pretended I was listening and actually giving a shit about what she said but it went in one ear and out the other.

We walked back out to the living room and the guys were still on the couch. They were up to something.

Marcus was the first to speak up. "You girls need to get dressed we are going somewhere."

Halley and I exchanged looks and Trevor squeezed my hand. I ran back into my room and straightened a few flyaways in my hair. I kept my jeans and black shirt on I had thrown on that morning and grabbed my black flip flops. Halley walked out as I was. She had her jeans and a pink shirt with brown flip flops. We'd been friends so long we basically dressed alike. Oh well.

Trevor grabbed my hand and we all headed outside. "So where are we going?" I teased, hoping I could get him to at least give me a hint. Wrong, they were locked down tighter than a high security prison.

"It's a surprise Mace. Marcus and I planned this out the other day." So much for that plan. I pouted as we kept walking.

Halley smacked Marcus on the arm for hiding it from her. "What the hell Marcus?" She wanted to know what was going on well before it happened.

"You're going to love it and you'll forgive me." He kissed her cheek and we got in the car.

The weather was just right. The sun was bright and I was glad I grabbed my sunglasses. We rode with the radio on, everyone singing loud and obnoxiously, I don’t even know what was on. It was just so fun. I honestly forgot we were going somewhere until we turned into the zoo.

Wow. I couldn't remember the last time I'd been to the zoo, wait yes I can. I was four years old. Talk about a long time ago. Even Halley's face was lit up.

"Ok Marcus I totally forgive you!" She practically squealed and I couldn't help but laugh. We definitely had two amazing men. We were lucky to have them. I don't remember ever being as happy as I've been. We got out the car and walked up to buy tickets. We all looked like little kids in line waiting to go to the zoo for the first time.

Halley and Marcus went in one direction and Trevor and I went in the other. The monkeys were the first animals we saw. We laughed and tried to talk to them while they swung around their area. I snapped a quick picture with my cell phone. We walked hand in hand and even had someone take a couple of pictures for us in front of some flowers. One picture we were just smiling and in the second he kissed my cheek. I made a note to print them up and frame them. I had the perfect place in mind to put them. This was turning out to be the kind of day I never wanted to forget. On the way to the tiger exhibit I pulled him into a little nook hidden behind some trees and he grabbed my face and kissed me. When our mouths met, I felt the sparks fly. I loved this man.

"I love you Macy." His breathing was ragged and uneven, he felt the sparks too. He couldn’t deny it either. I quickly brought his lips back to mine.

"I love you too." We stood there just gazing into each other’s eyes acknowledging our passion for one another. I was always so nervous I would never find a good guy because of my baggage and issues. Trevor was the first guy I’d ever let in and he was everything I wanted and needed.

As much as I wanted to stay in this nook with him, I grabbed his hand and we went to the tigers. Seeing the tigers was my favorite part of the zoo. I remember being a kid and Mom bringing me to the zoo. I cried when it was time to leave because I didn’t want to leave the tigers there. I insisted one come home with me but Mom tried her best to explain that it just wasn’t something that could be done. After arguing for about fifteen minutes she somehow got me to leave. The two in this exhibit were playing around. I felt like a kid again watching them run around. They were so carefree. He practically had to drag me away to the next exhibit. I laughed at the brief memory.

“What’s so funny babe?" He asked with an amused look on his face.

Realizing I had laughed out loud I replied,”Oh, I was just thinking about this one time my Mom brought me here when I was younger. She had to drag me away from them.” I kept laughing. ”I begged her to let me take one home. She didn‘t listen though. I was so mad at her that day.” I was still smiling at the memory.

“You know I can definitely see you as an argumentative child.” I shot him a not so amused look and he laughed and kissed my lips. “I bet it was so adorable. I’d have let you take one home.”

I rolled my eyes and replied, “Yeah ok, keep trying to suck up.”

We walked hand in hand until we were by the parrots. The parrots were talkative and Trevor made a few new friends. They stood there talking back to each other for a few minutes while I tried not to laugh. But I began laughing so hard, I held my stomach and heard it growl. I was starving. Trevor heard it too because he began laughing.

"Let's go see if we can find Halley and Marcus and get something to eat here. Want me to carry you?

Good lord he was serious. "Yeah ok. Because my legs just don't work. I think they are broken." Sarcasm spilt out and I began laughing. He scooped me up into his arms and I let out a squeal and wrapped my arms around his neck. This moment was pure perfection and to top it off I sealed it with a kiss.

I heard Halley laughing and I glanced at her to see it was me she was laughing at. I smirked thinking laugh all you want. This is one of the best days of my life.