Never Enough

chapter 3



My body was still exhausted from the night before. My hangover was slowly beginning to ease up a little. After finding Trevor had my number, I decided I needed to take it easy from now on. Besides I hated feeling this way the day after. I set my clothes and things in the bathroom and turned on the shower. I was glad Halley finally broke down and bought a new shower curtain. Our old was so old and rigged, it wasn’t even funny. It was hers originally and she kept saying it was perfectly fine so when it ripped this past time and she continued to duct tape it again, I informed her she needed to go shopping. She actually did it and we now owned a brand new, no rips or duct tape pink shower curtain. I don’t know if she just had a major attachment to that thing or if she just didn’t want to spend any money she deemed unnecessary. I climbed into the shower and let the hot water wash the bar smell off of me and any traces of Trevor. It felt good to be clean and I felt more than refreshed by the time I was done. All I needed was for the aspirin to finish working so I could be at my best. After my shower, I sauntered back towards my bed and flopped down on it. I was still racking my brain trying to get any information from last night. Nothing was coming to mind. My head was beginning to hurt from trying to think so hard. The aspirin was pretty much having to work double now.

Trevor James was a bad idea for me. I knew this. He would probably turn out to be nothing more than a big heartache. I didn’t need any more heartache in my life at all. My heart couldn’t handle it. He fit the rock star cliché. Yeah he only played in a little bar, but technically he was a rock star. Women were always fawning over him like he were some huge superstar. It was disgusting. He was just a super sexy guy who got on stage and played a guitar and sang a few songs a few nights a week. Big freaking deal. The band didn’t even have a name for crying out loud. My mind started racing again. Suddenly I didn't know if I'd even kissed him or not. Yes he had my number but did we kiss? Did anything else happen? I wanted to know but Trevor was not getting a text from me. I had already shut that operation down and I'd have to avoid him all night. And seeing as how I didn't have to work tonight, that should be rather easy. He'd have no chance to even approach me with Gary there and we could both forget that last night ever happened.

Somewhere in all my thoughts I drifted back to sleep. Trevor was in my dreams. He sang the most beautiful love song to me and I melted like butter in his arms. He told me how much he liked me and how he’d been waiting to make me all his. He also told me he’d been watching me ever since I first walked into The Lounge a few years ago. His hair hung perfectly in front of his eyes like it always did. I loved it. You could still make out the bluish gray color and it was absolutely mesmerizing to look into them. I was totally mesmerized by him. I believed everything he said. This was the perfect moment. Like something in the movies kinda moment. I’m talking cue the lights and action! Instant silver screen moment. The kind that gets nominated for an award and we were sure to win. He leaned in to kiss me and as our mouths opened to meet, I lost my balance and fell.

I woke up in a panic sweating and glanced at my phone. Shit! It's 5:00 in the afternoon. Uncle Gary called three times and Halley texted. I frantically grabbed the phone and called Uncle Gary back.

He answered right away as if he were waiting by the phone to try to call one more time. "Macy, I have a favor to ask. I know this is your night off but just hear me out." Any favor he asked, I typically didn't hesitate to help out. After all he helped me.

"What you got?"

"I already made plans to go out of town tonight you know and..."He paused. I had a bad feeling where this was going and my stomach got queasy. I had forgotten he had mentioned this to me last week. "I forgot the band was playing tonight. Would you mind staying there and keeping an eye on things? You know, make sure the guys get their money and you and Halley can drink on me." He let out a small chuckle, “Just make sure the place doesn’t burn down alright?”

Instantly I replied, "Sure thing. I’ll take care of it for you. I mean if anything happens I know where the fire extinguishers are. Have a safe trip." I prayed he couldn't hear anything in my voice that would give me away and know something was up. I even threw in a laugh at his little joke to keep him off.

I cursed under my breath and threw the phone after I hung up. There would be no avoiding Trevor now. He was going to walk up to me and I would turn into a puddle of a giant hot mess with everyone around. Part of me wished I could call Gary back and tell him no, that I had already made plans of my own and I had forgotten he had already told me, but he was probably half way out of town already when he had decided to call. I would have to come up with a plan tonight, one that involved absolutely no liquor. Yeah right, who am I kidding that wouldn’t happen. I had to laugh under my breath at that suggestion. I would definitely need to drink just to keep my composure around him. I stood there trying to devise anything, any kind of plan to help me when the door turned.

Halley and Marcus came walking in empty handed. That was a shock. She usually came in from a day of shopping with at least one bag in her hand. Guess she just couldn’t find anything today. I tried to greet them as chipper as I could so they wouldn’t catch onto anything. "Hey guys how was your day?"

"We had fun. We tried that new Mexican restaurant, I can’t remember the name though, but it was pretty good. They had deer enchiladas, talk about amazing! How was your time alone?" She batted her eyes at me as if I would tell her something magical had happened between Trevor and me. I rolled mine in return.

"Wonderful I slept til just a few minutes ago. I feel so much better now. Oh when are you going to be ready Hales? Gary forgot the band was playing tonight and he's going out of town so I have to work but we get to drink on him." I flashed a big grin to win her over. She needed to be in my corner tonight anyway.

"Just give me a few." She winked at Marcus and I wanted to flip her off. I just realized that she already knew that the guys were playing tonight and she never told me. I guess that was payback for me not telling her that Trevor had my number. I wanted to throw something at her at least but nothing was around for me to even grab.

Marcus made himself comfortable on the couch and began flipping through channels. He was a sweetheart. Halley got lucky finding him. When I first met her she had just broken up with some guy named Alex that she had dated for like a year and a half and she enjoyed her single life she was entitled to. Good thing she had me there to help her through it, not that she was really that torn up over it. She always told me it was something she had been wanting to do for a while then and finally just decided to make it happen. We spent many a nights at The Lounge following that time. Many bar dances, shots and, a year later she and Marcus began talking a little more than just a mere conversation here and there and she'd been smiling since.

Halley came out wearing a blue jean skirt and a pink blouse. Marcus whistled when she walked out and she made her way to him for a kiss. Gag me. This was just the beginning, I’d have to see this all night. The simplest outfit was always flattering on her. You could tape Popsicle sticks to her and she could still pull it off like it was this years’ hottest fashion trend. I didn’t have that kind of luck or maybe I was just a little more self-conscious. Popsicle sticks really weren’t my style anyway. I had my blue jean skirt on too but with my new cowboy boots I’d been saving for, and my favorite pink sweater. Halley and I both liked pink, sue us. We just so happened to be wearing the same color at the same time. Actually it happened rather often. People that didn’t know us and saw us together in person thought we were really sisters in real life. We did bare a similar resemblance but

Marcus drove us and I suddenly wished I'd had my own car to escape the chaos that I was sure was going to start. The Lounge wasn't packed just yet when we pulled up but there were about five cars in the parking lot. Halley and Marcus stopped to talk to a few people standing around the bar. I bypassed them and went behind the bar. I grabbed a shot glass and filled it with whiskey and tossed it back. So much for the possible plan that involved no liquor, I was a fool for even considering that.

"You know drinking’s bad for you." I looked over to see Trevor watching me with a devilish grin on his face. Those beautiful bluish gray eyes watching me. Watching my every move. Kinda made me happy inside. Don’t sound like a stupid girl when you open your mouth Macy. Don’t let him see through you. Stay strong.

My eyes rolled practically out of my head. "Don't talk to me." It was the only answer I could muster up at the time and I must say I was proud of myself for at least standing my ground to begin with. I didn’t cave, yet. I poured another and threw that shot back too. If I kept this up, I'd be drunk before most of our typical crowd got here. He needed to go away and go do whatever it is he does before a show but unfortunately he hadn't moved.

"Don't be that way Mace." His smile faded and a frown took its place. Even a frown on him was gorgeous. Secretly I wished my Uncle Gary were here and not out of town because this conversation between us wouldn't be happening. My eyes met his and I threw back another shot. Three shots down, I was going to more than likely need a babysitter tonight, oh wait that’s why Halley had agreed to come I should just sign all my rights over to her and make her my new guardian. She assumes the role most times anyway. The DJ just arrived and he was setting up for karaoke in his little booth before the band started. The DJ booth was in need of a major upgrade. Well I say major like its falling apart but it’s not. It’s just really old and could use a little touching up.

I smiled and replied, “Don’t be like what? All I said was don't talk to me. Please lose my number. I shouldn’t have given it to you in the first place. We both know its true."

He stood there looking puzzled as if I were suddenly speaking some foreign language to him. But I promise I spoke English. I used to know some French but I didn’t keep up with it like I should have in school and because of that I could only rattle off a few words here and there. Before he could reply, Marcus walked up and began talking to him, “Hey man ready for the show tonight?” Thank God for him, he practically saved me.

“You know it bro. Hey Halley what’s up?”

“Hey Trevor. Good luck tonight guys.” She was about the only female I knew who didn’t bow down and melt at the sight of Trevor. She gave Marcus a peck on the cheek and he kissed her forehead in return. Before anyone could speak to me again, I practically ran to the booth and flipped madly through the pages of songs. The perfect getaway. I felt feisty and probably more buzzed than anything from the shots I’ve already devoured.

"Girl you’ve got that look what's going on?" Halley appeared by my side and when the smell of whiskey on my breath hit her, she glared. "Please keep it under control tonight. How many have you had?"

"Hales, sing with me. You don’t need to babysit me right now I’m ok I swear. Don't be mad. I love you. And for your information three or four drinks, shot, whatever. Who's counting?" My lip pouted out and I threw my hands in the air making wild hand gestures, she softened her glare. She knew as well I as I did that I typically could control my liquor. I didn’t always need a babysitter. I'd been drinking pretty heavily since I was nineteen. The night everything started and my world as I knew flipped upside down. Before then I’d never touched the stuff.

"Ok but I need a shot first. What are we singing?" Marcus met us and began laughing at her then went to fetch a shot of tequila for her. She threw it back with ease then grinned at me. I loved my best friend and I loved the tequila for beginning to loosen her up so she wouldn’t be able to preach to me. Or remember she needed to babysit.

I flipped through the songs again then whispered to the DJ. I don’t think I’ve ever known his name but he and I shared a music love relationship. Anything I wanted he played, he never argued or fussed with me for how much I’d drank. Two songs and two very drunk people later I reached for Halley’s arm and pulled her with me on stage. Her face was puzzled and I flashed her a big grin. "It's a surprise just trust me. All I'll say is we're taking a trip back to the 80‘s!" Trevor watched with an amused look on his face. I tried not to smile back at him but my grin spread from ear to ear. Damn Trevor James! And damn alcohol for having this effect on me! I could still see straight but with the lighting inside the bar I swear he looked like an angel. My angel, possibly. Fly me away to heaven anytime, baby. Oh great the liquors talking.

I flipped my hair like I was a real rock star on a stage and not just singing karaoke. 'Mony Mony' by Billy Idol came over the speakers. Halley started laughing because well she expected nothing less from me and I began singing. Being up there helped me feel like I was normal again. I was another normal 23 year old, not a quiet, ashamed, broken 23 year old. Any troubles I had no longer existed. The spotlight was on me and nothing else mattered. I'm no Kelly Clarkson but I know I'm not horrible. If I were horrible I wouldn’t make anyone have to listen to that like half these drunk asses do. Halley started dancing around on stage singing along with me. We both probably looked like a bunch of nut cases but at least we looked good and were having fun doing it. The crowd that began to form inside cheered us on. I loved the spotlight. Like I said when the spotlight was on me I was in my zone. I was untouchable. When the song ended, Marcus embraced Halley in an oversized hug and I motioned them to the bar for more drinks. I also needed to begin actually doing my job. There were some thirsty people starting to gather around. I prayed this would be a good busy night.

The guys had started setting up while a few others sang their drunken hearts out. I stood behind the bar making drinks and trying my best to avoid him. So far I’d only had the one run in with him when I first arrived. That was a whole few minutes ago but I felt like I was making progress. Trevor locked eyes with me and they didn't budge. I stared into his bluish gray heavenly eyes and tried to think I was looking elsewhere. He started to saunter over towards me like he owned the bar. But he didn’t own the bar, I did. My eyes searched for Halley and Marcus. They were standing a few feet away but were so engaged in each other neither seemed to notice what was happening. Fantastic, I was going to melt to goo in front of the whole bar and no one was paying attention. People were either dancing or too busy drinking and socializing to notice little me. Someone was going to have to clean this mess up and obviously it wasn’t going to be me. "That was good Mace. Really you should think about singing with me one night. We could duet. Really rock this place." The look on his face told me he was serious. He must have been thinking hard on this because this was the second time he told me this line. That half grin thing he was doing also let me know he was up to no good. It had my insides all kinds of twisted up and I despised him for that. Too bad I was getting ready to let him know otherwise.

"Maybe when pigs fly Trevor. And we all know that won’t be happening anytime soon so why even bother." I prayed a drink would appear in front of me but that didn’t happen either. No pigs or drinks, well we were both out of luck.

He grinned and took a swig of a beer he already had. Someone must have gotten it for him while I was singing with Halley a few minutes ago. I wanted to be able to read his mind but I had no idea what was going on inside that gorgeous head of his. For a few minutes I just wanted to pick his brain apart. I just wanted to know what was going on inside that gorgeous head. He just stood there smiling with his head cocked to the side. Was this all a game to him? I refused to be a game to anyone. Wrong ball field Trevor. A few girls walked by and told him hi and he simply smiled. He didn’t answer them. The look on his face told me he had something else to say. My puzzled face just kept watching, waiting for anything to come out. He soon let me know when he replied with a sly smile, "By the way, thanks for the kiss last night. I’d say it was highlight of my night." He smirked and walked back off to join the guys on stage.

My jaw dropped and I was at a loss for words. I’d given Trevor my number AND kissed him last night and didn’t remember either. He was still smiling and just standing there. I wanted to kick him and kiss him all at the same time. Well played Macy.

“Hey Marcus, you ready to rock this bar?” He looked over and winked at me. I scowled and flipped him off. That reaction would have to do for right now. I had no idea what else to do; I mean he just told me we kissed last night. The middle finger was definitely going to have to work. Take that Trevor James.

“Let’s go.” Marcus gave Halley a kiss then the guys took the stage with their other members. The night was just beginning and I wanted to go crawl into a hole.