I didn’t expect him to come to my house first. Didn’t expect him to come at all. I smile back at him as I answer, "Sure, let’s go."
We walk in silence to the cinema. It’s one of those older ones that occasionally screen movie marathons to try and get people to come back. It doesn’t have the best screen, but it does serve popcorn with real butter melted on it. Not the crap they serve in those mega complexes.
When we get inside I turn to Luke. "Something to eat, drink?" I ask.
He looks at me like he’s about to say something, but before he can I tell him, "I’m getting it, you bought the tickets." I don’t want this to be like a date.
He holds up his hands, smiling. "Ok thanks, coke and popcorn would be great."
I smile back at him and go and buy our stuff.
Inside the cinema we are two of only a handful of people. Luke automatically walks to the row of seating behind the wall they have to divide the front and back sections. My favourite spot.
"Ok?" He asks.
"Perfect," I say back.
We both take our jackets off and sit down, we both put our feet up and we both avoid the arm rest that sits between us. I don’t take it and neither does he.
Half way through the first movie though, we somehow both move our arm at the same time. Both of us are now resting on the arm rest between us. Both of us are pretending to ignore the fact that our arms are side by side and touching. Even though I know he’s twice held me in his arms while I cried all over him, this feels very different. We’ve both done this and we are both choosing to keep our arms there. Touching. I spend the rest of the movie half watching it and half feeling the heat along the side of my arm. Waiting for Luke to move, wondering if I should. In the end, neither of us does until the movies finish.
They only show the first two, but it’s late when we come out. We’re standing outside the cinema facing each other. We both speak at the same time.
"Do you..."
"You want…"
Luke smiles, "You go."
I smile back. "Thanks for tonight Luke, for the tickets, for coming along." That’s not what I was going to say before.
"Thanks for inviting me," he says to me. I don’t think that’s what he was going to say either.
We stand in silence again. Watching each other.
Finally I speak, "You ah….you want to grab a drink or…um, something to eat?" I turn away at the end, somehow unable to keep looking at him as I make this suggestion.
Luke moves so he’s looking right at me, bends down so I have to see him as he answers, "Yeah, I would Ash. That’d be great."
We walk in silence for a block or two until we come across a bar which has a live band playing. Both of us stop and turn to face each other. Smiling Luke says, "Here?"
Again, I smile back. "Yeah, here is good."
We go in and find ourselves a table. We grab something to eat, we have a few drinks and we listen to this band. Luke tells me he’s never seen the third movie. I tell him it’s actually a prequel and while not as good, still relevant to the story and now there’s a fourth one out too. He says maybe we should watch them sometime. I surprise myself when I agree with him.
And here tonight, all of those email conversations we’ve had suddenly become real life. All of those easy online chats suddenly become easy to have face to face. All the shit that happened with Liam and then with Luke afterwards, is forgotten. I’m not sure how this has happened, but suddenly it has. Suddenly we are acting like friends.
Nothing more happens tonight, nothing more than us talking and me somehow having a good time. Later though, when I’m back home, I realise what has really happened. I’ve been distracted by the simple act of going to the movies and grabbing a drink afterwards. I’ve been distracted from my shit life, by something that is just so normal. And it was all because of Luke.
I wonder if he even knows what he’s doing to me, if he even realises how much he’s affecting me. And I wonder why I’m letting any of this happen. Everything would be so much easier if it could always be like this.
Seven, a neutral pH that like a seventh note is dependent on its surrounding environment
∞
Playlist:
1. I’ve got this friend – The Civil Wars
2. Friends – Band of Skulls
3. To whom it may concern – The Civil Wars
∞
Every situation you find yourself in can go in any number of different possible directions. All it takes is one little trigger and something changes. One thing which at the time might seem like nothing important but actually, has the power to change everything and that change can be good or bad.
I’ve often wondered if maybe I tried to change a situation, would it ever create a different outcome or, does making the change just create the very situation I’m trying to avoid. Could I have ever stopped any of the things I’ve done? Sometimes is it better to just let things happen and see where the path takes you? Because in the end, do you really have the power to change it anyway?