I Love You to Death




When I was a kid I used to love going to visit my grandparents. I never got the chance to know the ones on my Mom’s side because they’d died long before I was born, so I felt even closer to the ones I did have. My Dad was originally from Maine and that’s where his parents still lived, in a beautiful old farmhouse that I absolutely adored going to. We would usually head up there twice a year, once in the winter time and once over summer. Winter was always my favourite time of the year because of all the snow. They got loads more than we ever did in Providence and it was so much fun to play in. I used to spend hours out there until I was freezing cold and soaking wet and then I’d come inside to a warm house and a mug of hot chocolate in front of the fire.

I was twelve years old the last time I loved that trip. We’d gone up in February and the snow that had started falling as we drove up there, continued all night. When I woke up the next morning, it was very early and the entire place was blanketed in white. It was thick and fluffy and perfect for sledding. I remember racing out of bed and into Seth’s room, jumping on his bed to try and get him to wake up.

"Mmmm," came his muffled response. "What do you want?"

"Come on Seth, come outside, come outside," I said jumping on his bed.

"It’s too early Smash, go away," he mumbled back before rolling over and pulling the covers over his head.

I continued jumping for a few minutes but it was clear Seth wasn’t getting up. It was only 7am, but still, I wanted him to be as excited as me. I guess at eighteen you feel a little differently about snow and the thought of sledding. Disappointed, I climbed off the bed and made my way downstairs to the living room, wondering if I could put the TV on and wait for someone else to get up.

When I wandered down there though, Grandad was in the kitchen making himself some breakfast. I’d forgotten he was an early riser, probably because I was never usually up early enough to notice.

"Hey Grandad," I said as I walked past the kitchen.

He must have noticed my long face because he followed me into the living room to ask, "What’s wrong Ash, why so sad this morning?"

"Seth won’t get up and come outside with me," I said, sinking onto the couch in a huff.

"He won’t huh?" Grandad asked, sitting down beside me.

"No, and there’s heaps of snow outside and I just want him to come out and sled with me."

Grandad reached over and ruffled my hair as he suggested, "Well, what if I came outside with you?"

A huge smile broke out on my face as I turned to Grandad, "Really?" I asked. "You would?"

"Of course Ash, but I think you’d better go and put something warmer on, it’s pretty cold out there today," he said, smiling at me.

I raced off the couch and back upstairs to my room, yanking on as many layers as I could find. Flying back down the stairs I saw Grandad standing by the front door, pulling on his thick snow jacket and wrapping a scarf around his neck. I threw my arms around him, burying my face in his side. "Thanks Grandad, thanks for coming with me."

"Anytime Ash, anytime," he answered, tickling me as he always did, just to make me laugh.

We spent several hours out there that morning and it was so much fun. Both of us flying down the small hill that ran along the back of their property. Me always going faster because I was smaller and lighter than Grandad, Grandad always helping me haul my sled back to the top. By the time we came inside, both of us were red faced and out of breath.

Everyone else was up and in the kitchen by now and Dad was laughing when he saw the pair of us outside the back door.

"Look at you two huh, a busy morning then?" he said.

I pulled off my jacket, droplets of water falling all over the back step. I was smiling as I said, "Yep, it was the best."

As Grandad took my jacket and hung it up on the hook beside his, I padded into the warm kitchen and slid into a chair next to Seth, nudging him as he hunched over a steaming cup of coffee, still half asleep. "You should come with us next time sleepy head."

"Sleepy head, you’re usually the sleepy head Ash, I don’t how you were up so early this morning," Dad said smiling at me as Seth just grunted.

"Snow Dad, there’s snow!" I responded throwing my arms in the air.

He laughed and we all tucked into breakfast, Grandad coming to sit on the other side of me. I was starving after our morning of sledding, but I was so happy. Later on that day, Seth eventually came outside with me and we had a huge snowball fight, but for the rest of the week, as I continued to wake up early and find Grandad downstairs waiting to go sledding with me, it was just the two of us. As always Grandad had found a way to make everything better and I was happy.

Until the last day of our trip, when the inevitable happened.

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