And after that day, they were officially a couple. Seth was so unbelievably happy he’d finally gotten the girl he wanted. I was happy because now, I had a big sister who would talk to me, hang out with me, was nice to me. I remember asking her much later on why she’d finally changed her mind about him.
Lara just smiled as she watched Seth chatting with Dad as they cooked some steaks on the grill, before turning to me. "I think it was seeing the way he was with you that did it," she said.
"Huh?" I asked, confused.
Lara turned to me now, "Seeing how much he loved you Ash, and how protective and caring he was towards you. I’d say that pretty much sealed the deal for me."
And it was right then that I understood how Seth had fallen in love with her, because I loved her too. She became the sister I never had and despite how close she and Seth were, she never took him away from me or felt threatened by our relationship. And I was right about her and Seth, because they were perfect for each other and Seth did change for her, completely changed. Suddenly he was the perfect boyfriend, completely devoted to her and never even looked at another girl again. Dad and I were amazed at the change in him, but we both loved it, because we both loved Lara, she was perfect for him. I’m not sure if Lara ever regretted it though, especially after what happened in the end.
Of course that wasn’t Seth’s fault.
That was mine.
∞
Luke hung out with me for the rest of the afternoon. We listened to music, he kicked my butt at scrabble multiple times and we watched a bunch of crappy TV. I watched as he made himself at home in my apartment and I’ll admit, it helped, having him here. I stopped thinking about how shit my life was for a fraction of a second and he made me laugh enough to feel something closer towards real happiness. Somewhere along the way I also managed to eat more of his cupcakes.
"I like these photos you have Ash," he said to me at one point in the afternoon. "Did you take them?"
"Yeah," I say, watching him look at the pictures I’d put up on the walls. Various pictures of landmarks, streets, beaches and other sights from in and around Providence and Boston. Pictures of Sam; pictures of me and Sam together. "I used to play around with it, but I never took any lessons. I’m not sure I’m any good."
Luke turns to look at me. "Yeah you are Ash, they’re really great."
Again, I find myself smiling at him as he turns back to look at my photos. There’s something slightly surreal about Luke looking at pictures of Sam and I, but there’s no point hiding it, he must know. I don’t know what I’d say to him anyway, I can’t even bring myself to tell him who taught me to do all this. But, just for a second I do let myself remember all of the trips Lara and I made, especially when Seth was away. God I’d loved having her for a sister and for some reason, it makes me happy that Luke actually thinks my photos are good, because it was her who taught me how to take them.
By the time darkness falls however, it’s started to snow, and that gets me thinking bad thoughts all over again.
Luke somehow senses the change in me immediately. "You wanna talk about it?" he asks.
I look at him, just shake my head and flick through the channels on the TV. "Want to watch a movie?" I eventually ask, glancing at my watch. "Or I guess you probably have somewhere else you need to be?"
Luke looks outside, before turning back to me. "No, nowhere else. You have any beer though?"
Grateful, I smile before going to the fridge to grab some, glad I’d stocked up after my bender the night before. "Pick something out," I call as I pop the tops on two beers.
When I walk back into the living room, Luke is looking through my collection. As I stand there watching him look through something Sam and I built together, I force myself to take a deep breath. You have to move on Ash I try telling myself, seeing how it sounds in my own head. Sam’s words are in there too, telling me to live, be happy. I want to, I really do, but I wanted to do that with Sam. I wanted it to be Sam who was picking a movie out for us to watch tonight.
"Geez Ash, bit of a vampire fetish?" Luke says smiling as he takes the beer I hand him, breaking my train of thought.
I shrug, "What can I say, I love vampire flicks."
I smile as I hear him murmur, "Well at least there’s no Twilight in here." Eventually Luke chooses the first in the Blade trilogy, holding it up he asks, "You want to start with this?"
"Sure," I smile at him. "Good choice."