I Love You to Death

Seth was twenty-four when he decided to sign up for the army. My dad was proud of him. I was really angry with him. I didn’t want him to go. I was too afraid of losing him, afraid he would be sent off to war where he would be killed. I begged and pleaded, but he just said it was something he had to do, something he really wanted to do. He didn’t know how to explain it to me, but he almost felt like he needed to do it. When he met Lara, I thought maybe that would change his mind. But it didn’t, he still signed up and then got sent off to basic training.

Lara was his first serious girlfriend. I won’t lie; my brother was a huge flirt. He loved to chat up girls and would often have a different one after him each week. He wasn’t mean to them, never strung them along, he just made it clear he wasn’t looking for anything serious. He was kind of like that with everything in life. Just out to have fun, to live life and do whatever it was he wanted to do. I think it drove Dad crazy at times, his lack of direction, as Dad liked to call it. But to me, it was just Seth being Seth, enjoying whatever came his way for as long as he could and never really worrying about it when it was gone.

Which is what made his decision to sign up for the army, and his desire to get serious with Lara that much more surprising, to me anyway.

Lara was from Florida originally, but had come to study at Brown. Seth met her out one night when he was crashing the bars that college students used to frequent. This was his hunting ground I guess. But when he met her, he really met his match. I don’t think he expected a woman to treat him as he had treated girls in the past. I don’t think he expected her to be so happily casual with him, able to have fun with him and then walk away as though he meant nothing to her. Naturally this made him want her even more. And she made him work for it.

Watching Seth during this time, I had to laugh. He was so pathetic, pining after her, calling her, trying to convince her to go out with him. Sometimes she would, but always in a group situation. Now Seth was the one being played and all he wanted to do was get her alone. It really was pretty funny to watch.

The first time I met her was when Seth had a party at home. Dad had gone away for work and although he’d said, "No parties," to Seth, I knew it was inevitable.

Seth was pretty cool about having one though, and he told me, "You can come along Smash, as long as you don’t tell Dad."

"You know he’s going to find out right? You never clean up properly."

"Maybe you can help me?" he asked smiling.

I crossed my arms as I stood there looking at him, pretending to think about it. "Maybe if the price is right?" I answered in my most serious voice.

Seth grabbed me in his arms, tickling me as he said, "You drive a hard bargain little sis."

Of course we had the party and this is when I finally got to meet Lara. My first thought when I met her, wow, she’s gorgeous. Second thought, she really could be perfect for my brother. Third thought, he doesn’t stand a chance.

I remember watching him follow her around all night. He was pathetic, even I could see that. She wasn’t exactly being mean to him but she certainly knew he wanted her and she was definitely having fun with that. I couldn’t help but admire her for being this way. For knowing that Seth wanted her, but not immediately being in to him like every other girl always was. For making him work for her, prove himself to her. It made me think she was pretty cool and exactly the sort of girlfriend Seth needed. I hoped underneath all that she was nice too.

Eventually Lara came over to chat to me and that’s when I discovered what she was really like.

"Hey, it’s Ash right?"

I looked up from the camera I was playing with to see Lara standing in front of me. Seth had described her to me, had been talking about her all day actually, but it was his reaction when she’d first showed up tonight that really gave away her identity. My brother really was pathetic when it came to this girl.

Lara smiled at me and I quickly smiled back before looking at my hands as I answered, "Yeah."

"I’m Lara, nice to meet you," she said, coming over and standing next to me.

"You too," I said, quickly flicking my eyes up to hers again before concentrating on the camera I was holding.

"Are you a photographer?" she asked me.

I couldn’t stop the tiny smile at her assumption. "No, I don’t really know anything about it," I said quietly. "I kind of just try things out as I go."

Lara’s hand reached out to the camera in mine. "May I?" she asked.

I silently handed it to her and watched as she expertly flicked through the buttons, looked through the view finder and adjusted the lens.

"It’s a very good camera," she said, handing it back to me. "I can show you a few tricks some time if you like?"

I looked up at her in shock as I took the camera back. Lara just smiled at me before walking over to the fridge to get another drink. As she reached in to get one, I felt an arm wrap around my shoulders.

"Smasha, what are you doing hiding out in here?" Seth asked me, planting a kiss on the top of my head as he pulled me against his side.

I shrugged in response and looked back towards Lara as she stood there watching us, closing the fridge door behind her.

"Oh, hey Lara," Seth said, surprised to see her. "Have you met my sister?" he continued, still keeping an arm around me.

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