Trying Not To Love You

Mom was able to pull some strings and got me an appointment for Monday morning to see the ob-gyn. They confirmed that I was indeed pregnant, and they did some blood work to confirm how far along I was and give me a better due date. They told me I would have the results back in a day or so. Until I got the results back, I was staying clear of everyone.

Wednesday night Mom and I decided to get some ice cream and sneak off to the bookstore to get me some books on my pregnancy. Chloe surprised us back at the house with a few things for me as well, and we went into the sitting room to talk about the wedding.

"Chloe, I'm going to look like a whale in your wedding. I really would just rather do something else special for you." I begged her.

Glaring at me, she said "Oh no, I need you there with me. You are my maid of honor and you cannot back out on me. It's not an option."

"Come on Chloe, you really want to take pictures with Shamu standing next to you? I'll probably be waddling like a duck, walking down the aisle." I started laughing picturing it.

Mom joined in on laughing at me too, and Chloe was still glaring at me. "Just because you went and got knocked up doesn't mean…"

I heard someone clear there throat behind me. Oh, please be Hailey, please!

Chloe and Mom turned their head, but I knew who it was, felt who it was. Once they saw who it was, they looked right at me and confirmed what I already knew.

"Hello Hunter, the boys aren't here. I think they went to the movies or something." Mom told him.

"Yeah I know. Can I uh, talk to CC alone?" Hunter asked them.

"You ok?" Chloe asked, looking at me apologetically.

I could feel my cheeks starting to burn red, and I didn't trust my voice to speak just yet, so I just nodded my head. I folded my hands in my lap, and curled my legs Indian style on the couch. Chloe and mom got up, but mom stopped, kissed the side of my head and whispered, "Tell him sweetie. I think he may just surprise you." I just nodded.

They walked out, and Hunter came to sit across from me. He didn't say anything. He just looked at me. I started biting my lip, nervous about this conversation. This could be the end of us, the end of us all being a family. No more holidays, Sunday dinners, birthdays, graduations, no nothing if this didn't go over well. I looked away from him and glanced down at the table that was between us where the baby books and magazines were sitting.

Hunter cleared his throat again, and looked down at the table where I was looking. If he didn't have an idea what we were talking about before, he sure did now. I watched his face closely as he was putting two and two together. "So um…" He scratched the scuff that was on his face. He looked at the books and back up at me. "Are they yours?"

My hands were sweating; I was shaking, "Yeah."

His eyes went wide, "You're pregnant?"

I nodded.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he asked, looking a little hurt.

"Hunter, just listen to me for a minute, okay? You are twenty-two, and ready to graduate from college in a few months. I don't want this to stop you from making something of yourself. Just because this baby is ours doesn't mean you have to be with us." I stood up from the couch and started pacing. "I want to be with you, Christ knows I do. Don't get me wrong. I can raise this baby on my own. You didn't ask for this and I don't want you to think I trapped you."

"Are you done?" He asked with a smirk on his face.

"Yes."

"CC, I love you more than you will ever know. I never stopped. I understand why you haven't told me, why you didn't come to me first. I've been an a*shole." He stood up, and came over to me, grabbed both of my hands with his, and pulled them between us. "I'm sorry; I didn't know what to do. Our families are so close, and I felt like I was ruining it. I broke my promise to you that I wouldn't break your heart. I need to make that up to you."

I interrupted him. "You don't need to make anything up to me. Hunter, I ruined us. I told you I was protected. I thought I was. Remember when I was sick over Christmas break, and the doctor put me on antibiotics?"

"Yeah, when you had your ear infection."

"Well, it cancelled out my birth control. I'm so sorry." The tears were pooling in my eyes. "I wasn't thinking. I don't want you to hate me; I swear I wouldn't do something like this to trap you."

I started sobbing; now he's going to tell me he hates and he's done with me.

"I know you wouldn't do anything like that CC and I love you for that. I want this with you, with our baby. I want to be a family. I want to take care of you and our baby. I know you didn't trap me, and I want you to stop thinking that. You know everything happens for a reason, right? Please stop crying."

I took a shuddering breath. "Yes, but I feel like I'm holding you back now, trapping you. I don't want you to regret doing this with me."

He reached up, cupped my face in his strong hands and used his thumbs to brush the tears away. "CC I could never regret anything about you, ever." Hunter dropped his hands, moved them on my hips and pulled me towards him. "You know I'm going to marry you one day, right?"

"Are you going to marry me just because I'm pregnant?" He could not be serious. Just because I was having our baby didn't mean I was expecting him to propose.

He kissed me, "No. Because I'm never letting you go again. You are it for me. I don't give a shit if your brothers don't like it or not. I'm done trying to make everyone happy. I should have been done a long time ago. I'm going to make it up to you, I promise." He kissed me again, lingering a little longer this time.

I reached up, and entwined my fingers behind his neck. "I love you Hunter."

"Hmmm, I love you too CC. I guess I need to talk to them and do some explaining. First, I need to show you something. I should wait until it's finished, but this is for you now too." He led me out to his truck. It was just starting to rain, but the sun was shining bright, and a rainbow was out over the field across the street.

He stopped and kissed me before opening the door to his truck for me to get in. "You know I love kissing you in the rain. I just couldn't help myself." He winked at me, then opened the door and helped me in.

We drove for about twenty minutes, and pulled up to a cute little neighborhood. The houses were beautiful, mostly two stories with nicely manicured lawns. Hunter turned into the driveway of one that was towards the end of the street.

"Who do you know who lives here?" I looked at him suspiciously.

The house was two stories with tan siding, white trim and white shutters. It had a two-car garage and with a little work, nice landscaping. The bushes needed to be trimmed and there were a few bare spots in the lawn.

"Come on, I'll tell you when we go inside." He came around the truck, and opened the door for me.

He laced our fingers together, and we walked up the walkway to the house. He reached in his pocket, pulled out his keys and unlocked the door. I gave him a funny look.

He pulled on my hand and ushered me inside. Once he closed the door, he put his hands around my waist and rested them over my stomach. I tensed, but then soon relaxed when he started rubbing his hands over it.

"Welcome home CC." He said softly to me.

"What? This is yours?"

Shaking his head at me, he says, "No, this is ours."

Was I missing something? How could this be his?

"I don't understand. How can you buy a house like this, and when did you have the time to even look for a house?"

Chuckling at me, clearly amused by my confusion he says, "Well, when I turned twenty-one, my trust fund kicked in. I knew I was coming back to Jersey to live, so Mom has been on the lookout for me. She found this around Christmas; I just signed the papers on Friday when I got back. It needs a lot of work but it's not too bad. Come on, I'll show you."

In front of us was a staircase that led to the second floor. Off to the right, there was a living room with a fireplace and a bay window. When we walked past the stairs, there was the dining room with floor to ceiling windows and off the dining room was the kitchen. The kitchen was beautiful. It had dark granite counter tops, black appliances, plenty of counter space and tons of cabinets. Next to the kitchen was a full bathroom with a stand up shower. It needed some fixing up and a good cleaning but was not too bad. There was a huge family room with sliding glass doors leading to a nice sized back yard with an in-ground swimming pool.

"That door leads to the basement, but it's a mess down there. I don't want you getting hurt on the steps since there are a few broken ones." Hunter pointed at a door in the family room. "Come on, I'll show you the upstairs."

He led me up the stairs to the first bedroom on the right. Bright yellow paint and stained carpet greeted me. "Don't worry; this is getting new paint and hardwood floors. Actually, all the other rooms are too. The only room that is already finished is our room." He lifted my hand and kissed it.

He took me into the second room and the mint green paint and dark green carpet was hideous. Yes, this has to go too.

The bathroom was at the end of the hallway. It was very out dated but it was huge. With a few upgrades, it would be great.

"Ok, now I'm going to close your eyes. This is our room." He stood behind me, and covered my eyes with his hands.

"Use your left hand and reach straight ahead for the door knob." I complied and opened the door.

Hunter walked us into the room and lowered his hands. The room was gorgeous; I fell in love with it. It was enormous compared to the other two. Chestnut hardwood covered the floors, and there was a king-size canopy bed positioned between two wide windows. There was a dresser and a bureau, both black. Behind the only door in the room was a walk in closet with all the shelves and racks you could ever use and in the center, there was a tall square table with drawers.

We walked out of the closet, and I turned to Hunter, who was observing me in complete awe of this room, this whole house. "So what do you think? Could you live here with me?"

I wrapped my arms around him and he tucked me under his chin and of course, I started crying when I said, "Hunter, it's perfect. Are you positive this is what you want, and it's not just because of the baby?"

He reached down and lifted my chin so I was looking at him. "Yes, I'm positive. I was going to ask you to move in with me once we worked everything out, so yes, this is what I really want."

He wiped my tears again and I laughed. "It's just these stupid hormones."

He laughed with me, "Guess I better get used to that, huh?"

"Yeah, that seems to be all I do, well that plus throwing up every day, all day."

Hunter finally figured out that I was not getting sick because of the stress and all the fighting we were doing. He said, "Hm, I guess that explains why you kept getting sick?"

"Yeah, the doctor said it should only last my first trimester, but sometimes longer. The mornings are the worst it seems, and anything greasy sets me off." I got the chills just thinking about it.

"I'll have to remember that." He brushed his hands down my arms, cause me to get more goosebumps.

He pulled me to the bed, grabbed the bottom of my shirt and lifted it above my head, and tossed it behind him. Then he unclasped my bra and pushed me back so I was sitting on the bed. He kneeled in front on me, placed a single kiss on my stomach, then looked up at me and placed a few more kisses. He worked his way up to one of my nipples and sucked it into his mouth. I cried out in ecstasy at the sensation because it was so sensitive.

I sat up and he leaned up with me. I reached down to the bottom of his shirt, pulled it off him and threw it behind us. Then I reached for the button and zipper on his jeans, but he stopped me before I could start to pull them down.

Frowning he asked, "Can you do this?"

Laughing at him, I said, "I'm pregnant not broken Hunter." I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him towards me.

Hunter and I spent the next hour memorizing each other bodies, whispering how much we loved each other and through our lovemaking, apologizing for all the hurt that we had caused each other. After we were completely spent, I wrapped myself on his right side and placed my hand over his heart and he placed his hand over mine and whispered, "You are my heart, always and forever."