Love Notes

Chapter 28-Maverick



What happened and why can’t I see anything and where am I? I only see pitch black darkness. Why won’t my eyes open?

I’m struggling and trying to bring movement to my limbs but I’m not making any headway.

I’m trying so hard to remember and I can only see flashes and bits and pieces and it’s there ,just dangling out in front of me like a carrot. It’s on the tip of my mind but…I hear voices. A couple sound familiar and the more they talk the more I recognize them.

I still can’t seem to open my eyes or recall anything…

I should stop and listen, try to remember. Maybe they will give me some insight as to what’s going on.

I feel confused and lethargic and I am really tired but I need to hang on. As soon as I stop struggling I remember the one person that means the most to me.

Charlie.

Charlie, I start screaming. My mouth can’t seem to form any words and won’t open. I must be screaming solely in my mind. I feel so frustrated. I want to pound my fist into something, anything but I can’t make my limbs move at all. Still…Charlie. Where is 'my' Charlie?

The voices seem closer. Yes, they are getting closer. The closer they get the more familiar. All of a sudden it all clicks together like a bolt of lightning and a flash of thunder. It all comes crashing back hard.

I remember, I remember it all.

The accident, I was in an accident. I must be in a hospital.

Those voices, those are my parents. The voice I don’t recognize that must be my Doctor. I don’t know what they are saying. It’s all very muffled. But I remember.

Oh, Charlie….I hope she’s okay and not hurt. I remember her following behind me. Surely she wasn’t involved in it. She was a good enough distance behind me.

I don’t remember seeing the oncoming vehicle coming towards me, only that our collision was inevitable. I remember thinking of her right before.

How much I love her and how grateful that God brought her to me. I have never been super religious but I know that she was meant for me. This I know without a shadow of a doubt.

She was made for me.

Everything about her that I love comes rushing at me. Her kindness towards others, her smile when I make her laugh. Her blush ,which she did a lot of when I said something that embarrassed her.

Normally the embarrassment was because of something innocent I told her, like how gorgeous she is or how I could listen to her beautiful angelic voice all day long. But sometimes, sometimes the blush was because I told her how much I wanted her–in every way, shape and form. This was always said with a serious face and she knew I meant every word.

She was just starting to come to that conclusion herself.

Thank God.

Her Dad sure did a number on her. Unfortunately, years of listening to her Dad verbally abuse her in the looks department, would take a long time to get over. I’m just glad she was finally starting to not second guess my feelings for her.

How any father could say what he did to his daughter, I would never understand.

One thing I knew, I would never let him speak to her like that again. I would never have her feeling like she was “average”. My Charlie is not average. She is smart, kind, beautiful in every way. If it took me forever to get her to see this for herself I would.

I would move heaven and earth for her.

All of a sudden I hear a voice that is forever branded in my mind.

I hear ‘my’ Charlie.

She’s with my parents…If I could smile I would. My parents loved Charlie the very first time they met her. They loved her almost as much I do. I had never brought anyone home important enough to me to meet them. They knew she was special. The moment they were introduced my dad caught my eye and winked at me with his signal of approval. I knew right then and there I was a goner. I actually already knew, but it was a lot more ingrained and I was never more sure.

My mom was grinning from ear to ear and seeing her wrap her arms around Charlie and take her in like a part of the family, was the icing on the cake. It was a fun night. We laughed and I had never seen Charlie so at ease.

I remember my mom pulling me to the side and telling me how beautiful and wonderful she was. I never doubted that they would like her. I knew they would see exactly what I saw.

It made me feel so happy and excited to know that she was here. The three people I love most in the world in one place.

Granted not a place I wanted to be.

The talking seems to get quiet. I don’t know how, but I sense a presence and I know it’s her. I feel her take my hand.

What I wouldn’t give to be able to move, open my eyes and hold her. Tell her I’m okay and I’m here….

She’s so close. I feel her so very close. She’s in my skin and branded on me. A part of me. My hand she is holding, it’s trying desperately to squeeze hers.

All of a sudden I can smell her.

I feel her whisper in my ear. I can hear her, holy hell I can hear her. I want to scream so damn bad that I can hear her. Give her some clue that I know she’s there, but my stupid ass body isn’t budging.

However, the most magnificent words to ever have graced her mouth have been whispered in my ear.

“I love you, ‘my’ Maverick.”

God, how I love her, and wish I could tell her how very much. Then I feel warm breath, as she kisses me softly on the lips.

I need to wake up. I have to wake up, but I am so tired and feel myself starting to fall. I can’t hold on any more.

I’m falling and the very last thing on my mind is Charlie. ‘My’ Charlie.