***
“You working now?” Matty asked as I stepped off the last stair, heading to the kitchen.
“Kind of. After class I’m heading over to the bar and setting up everything then I’m going to see Kelsey. Are you and Dad going?” I asked.
He goes over the weekend and since it’s Friday, it’s technically the start of the weekend. Matty stared at his orange juice as he leaned against the kitchen island. He looked up and nodded. “Uh, yeah. We’re seeing her today.”
I know Matthew hates seeing Kelsey in the hospital but she misses him and he can’t not see her. He loves her. We all do. She’s our kid sister and she needs us.
“Can you guys wait for me?” I asked. “I won’t take long and I really don’t want to take the train.” And I don’t want Matty to feel alone. Dad tries to cheer up Kelsey so Matty is left staring at the two, wishing he were home.
“We’ll pick you up,” Dad said behind me. “It’s been awhile since I’ve done that.” Years is more like it. He hasn’t picked me up since I left for college. He picked me up from home and dropped me off at the airport. Everyone was there except for Jacky. She was busy with classes already. She made up for it by picking me up at the airport when I came back five months ago.
“Thanks, Dad,” I said walking out of the kitchen.
I’ll give him the money I made yesterday when I get back. First, I want to make sure I have a job. It would suck if I didn’t…
I walked over to the bus stop and started my day.
Aimee was sitting somewhere in the middle of the crowded lecture hall and she saved me a seat. I guess taking off my bra and not letting some hot asshole step on me gave me a few points with her. She was all smiles and admiring eyes.
“Wearing a bra today?” she asked poking my boob with her pen.
“Yeah. I can take it off if you want,” I said back.
Aimee laughed and started typing something on her laptop then switching to drawing spirals on the notebook open in front of her. She wouldn’t stop poking my boobs with the pen too.
As I headed to my last class, I felt someone walk behind me. Call me paranoid but I don’t take being followed easily. I turned around abruptly and collided into a hard chest. Strong hands grabbed my arms and pulled me forward.
“Whoa, next time a heads up would be nice,” Logan said looking down at me.
“Next time don’t f-ucking follow me,” I said shaking him off me. I adjusted my sweater and turned back around, annoyed. When I headed into class, I searched for an empty seat and found two in the back. Great.
I sat my ass down and took out my laptop.
Jeaned legs rubbed against mine as the person walked by me to take up the last seat. I was busying checking an email about the American Red Cross blood drive coming up that I didn’t notice the person sitting beside me was invading my personal space. And he smells really nice. Like sandalwood and laundry. I love smelling fabric softener.
“Donating blood?”
I whipped my head to the left and stared at Logan.
“What the hell are you doing here?” I asked.
“Skipping class,” he said shrugging his shoulders and leaning back into the seat beside me. “You seemed so nice in the hall that I got the vibe you wanted to invite me but got shy.”
I rolled my eyes and opened up a new word document. If I could just close my laptop, smack him with it and walk away, I would.
“Why aren’t you like other girls?” Logan asked glancing at me sideways. “You don’t put yourself out there and I noticed that Aimee is the only person you talk to.”
“Wow, thanks,” I said. I wouldn’t even talk to her but she likes to be all up in my business and pull me into her so we’re joined at the hip.
“What’s with the sweaters? And the attitude?”
I’m a bitch.
“You should wear your hair up. Show off the tattoo.”
I sighed and turned to him.
“Do you want to have sex with me? Is that why you won’t leave me alone?” I asked. His eyes dropped to my lips. “Look, you’re nice looking and all but it’s not going to happen.”
His eyes shot back up and he said, “Why not?”
“Because I know your name,” I said, dryly.
Double eyebrows raised. Three points for me.
Logan was quiet for a few seconds as he looked around the class. When his eyes landed on me, my heart stopped. I know it’s coming. Just call me a slut. A whore. Worthless.
It should have been me. That’s what they all say.
“Wear your hair up,” Logan said standing up.
As he shuffled out of the row of seats, he leaned into me and pecked my lips quickly. “Have fun, fake girlfriend.”
What. The. f-uck.
He walked out of class before I could even say anything. When I glanced around to see if anyone saw that, a pair of green eyes found mine. Shit. It’s the girl that Logan brought into Curry and then ditched because he kissed me.
Asshole used me again.
f-uck this.
I shut my laptop and stuck it into my bag. I slipped out of class unnoticed, except by the girl who is still staring at me, and walked down the hall until I got to the stairs.
I caught Logan’s hand on the railing a floor below me.
“Logan,” I called out.
He stopped walking and tilted his head back to see me.
I jogged down the stairs and stopped in front of him.
“I don’t care if your latest hookup is in my class. Don’t f-ucking kiss me. I already told you,” I snapped.
I threw my leg back and kneed him in the groin. He bent over and used the railing for support as he groaned in pain.
I hope I made myself clear.
I walked down the flights of stairs and walked out of the building. I know what we’re doing in class already. I can catch up later. I walked around campus until I hopped on a bus and stopped near Happy Hour. Peyton was talking to a guy at the bar when his eyes flicked over to me.
He stood up straight and walked away from the customer.
I got set up on a stool and ordered a few shots.
“Bad day?” Peyton asked sliding over a shot glass.
“My moods are unpredictable,” I said throwing my head back. The vodka burned its way down my throat and I didn’t mind.
“Think you can sign a few papers?” Peyton asked leaning on the bar with his arms. “Tim said you’re officially hired.”
“Awesome,” I said downing another shot. “I’m ready.”
I am now an official employee at Happy Hour. And number two of the rule book is that employees can not date or see each other while working here. I literally frowned when I read that but I guess its fine. I do know Peyton’s name. That goes against my very low standard rule. Number one is that we have to card the customers if they don’t look twenty-one or over and we have the right to refuse service when they start having too much. No one wants to clean up puke or blood off the bar.
“Here’s your shirts,” Peyton said handing me a few black shirts with Happy Hour written on the right breast. Tim knows what men want to see. “You start tomorrow at noon.”
“So I can go?” I asked.
“Yeah.”
I work every day next week from three to eleven because of classes and I have to get time to see Kelsey, and the weekends are noon to eleven. As it turns out, Peyton works every day from noon to midnight because he has nothing better to do than serve people drinks (his words) and he likes working at the bar. He gets the longest breaks because he’s such an excellent bartender (his words) and since he’s twenty-three and not in college, he has time.
“What’s with the sweater?” Peyton asked as I turned around. “I mean, your tattoos are amazing and unique. Why hide them?”
I turned and stared at the bar counter for a bit, trying to form words. I looked up at Peyton and took a deep breath. “I’m not the same person I was back when I got these.”
A guy walked up to the bar and signaled Peyton to get him his usual. There are a lot of those guys out here. I nodded and turned on my heel. He’s busy.
“Rebeckah,” Peyton called out. “People change. Don’t let your past define you.”
I glanced at him over my shoulder and saw the look in his eyes, trying to sell me that. He really believes that.
I wish I could let that be true.
I wish I can move on.
I closed my eyes, took a deep breath and walked out of the bar. I waited for Dad to pick me up and when he showed up with Matty in the car, I tried to push aside all the raw feelings passing through me. They come and go but right now they’re not going.
They know I’m trying.
I’m trying to be better.
“I’m the new bartender,” I said getting in the car.
“Am I going to have to keep a bat handy?” Dad asked eyeing the bar. “I don’t like knowing you’re going to be working around drunks all day.”
“I’ll be fine,” I whispered.
Dad started driving and I noticed he kept looking at me through the rearview mirror. Don’t make him worry, Becka. Don’t do that to him! “Birdie, you okay?” he asked stopping at a red light. I caught his eye and nodded. I even added a smile. “You sure?”
“Dad, she’s a girl. Their moods change like seasons.” Matty sighed, glancing at me over his shoulder. “Is it that time of the month?”
“No and it’s creepy if you ask,” I snickered.
Dad went back to driving but he didn’t give up looking at me. I get it. I know something is off about me today. I have to stop it or it’ll get worse.
We got to the hospital and went up to Kelsey’s room after we picked up food from the cafeteria. She was all smiles and happy eyes when we walked through the door. She was basically beaming…and it was weird.
“Why are you so happy?” I asked her.
Kelsey blushed and played with the thin sheet covering up her body. She’s avoiding the question. She’s happy. And she’s blushing.
It’s because of a boy. And not just any boy.
It’s Micha.
I touched her hand and she caught my eye.
We have a special connection so with just a look I asked if he kissed her. She gave me a look telling me he did.
Ohmygod. Finally!
I smiled and let Dad and Matty talk to her as I walked over to the window trying to let my sister’s happiness consume me. Finally, there’s a boy that can get Kelsey to smile the way she is right now.
My eyes drifted outside again and I felt the urge to step closer to the window and not stop until–
Stop!
I blinked and stepped back.
I turned and joined the conversation of how Kelsey’s day went. Tests are still being done but the doctor came in and said that maybe in a week or two, Kels can come home. When I told her I have a new job, she wasn’t that excited because that means we won’t be spending so much time together when I come home from school. Yeah, right. I won’t let that stop me.
Kelsey’s eyes became too heavy to keep open so two minutes later, she was snoring lightly and we grabbed our things to head out.
The car ride back was quiet but nice. Kelsey will be coming home and we’ll have the family back together. Jacky and Remy are so close that they’ll come by more often after work. Mom and her fling can keep f-ucking each other and not be involved.
“Goodnight, Becky,” Matty said nudging my side as we walked into the house.
“’night, Matty,” I said walking up the stairs. “Dad.”
“Love you, Birdie.”
Matty and Dad stayed downstairs talking about sports as I headed to bed. My heart is beating out of control and sleep will probably not help me but I have to lie down and take deeps breaths or it won’t end well.
I climbed into bed and grabbed a teddy bear sitting up against my pillows. I squeezed that little guy until my knuckles turned white but it wasn’t helping.
Take a deep breath. Breathe. Count to ten.
One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven.
My breathing is slowing down.
Eight. Nine.
Ten.
My body relaxed.
Alice bumped her bare knee against mine and winked. “We’re going to have fun tonight,” she sang softly.
I glanced at the taxi driver and then back at Alice.
“We better. I’m sick of the guys at school,” I said.
“Becka, men literally drop to their knees to be with you. You’re just picky,” she said, shaking her head at me. “If they have a penis, f-uck them. We only live once.”
Hearing the word penis made the middle aged taxi driver glance at us in the rearview mirror. He even gave me a smile that’s missing a front tooth.
“I’m picky because I want someone who will f-uck me senseless and leave me unable to walk the next morning,” I said, not caring at all now if the driver hears us.
We’re making his night.
Alice laughed and her brownish green eyes found mine.
“These guys will do that,” she said. I f-ucking hope so.
We stopped at a restaurant that has a bar and headed inside when Alice pointed two guys out.
When two almost similar looking guys with blonde hair and green eyes turned around and checked us out, I was done. The muscles under my belly were already clenching expecting what tonight will bring me.
These guys look like they know how to f-uck.
Jesus, their bodies are gorgeous and those hands look like they’ll get the job done.
“Jared,” the guy closest to me said with a mega-watt smile. “You must be Rebeckah.”
“I must be,” I said. I’ll be whoever he wants me to be!
“Can I buy you a drink?” he asked standing up and placing a warm hand on the small of my back. I almost closed my eyes and moaned at the contact.
It’s been a while since I’ve been touched the way I need to be touched.
Alice and her guy hit it off and ignored us so Jared and I went to a table and ordered some drinks.
“I’ve never met a girl with so many tattoos,” Jared said, his eyes roaming over every inch of my body. “And so beautiful.” Cue the blushing.
Alice and Kenneth decided to show up then and sit with us. Jared and Kenneth shared a look and Alice and I glanced at each other. She poked her tongue into her cheek and I laughed. I will probably end up blowing this guy if I get what I want. She doesn’t need details. Not yet.
“Okay…” Alice said placing her wallet on the table. “Start with drinks.”