- 6 -
It wasn’t my idea to dress the way I am today. I’m in shorts and I’m pretty sure that if I bend over, you’ll see up my ass. I have a tank top that sits on my waist, revealing just a bit of stomach and I have flats. Oh, and my hair is up.
I want to curl up in bed and not go anywhere.
Kelsey came home yesterday after being in the hospital for two weeks after we were told she could leave. The doctor’s wanted to make sure she was strong enough to go. She is. She wants to go to school but Dad told her to wait until next week so she could start in October.
Kelsey has seen the movie A Walk to Remember and her thinking is that if Mandy Moore can go to school and fall in love, then so can she. I will not compare Kelsey to Mandy because I know how that movie ends and I don’t like it.
“You look nice,” Kelsey said lying on my bed. “Now go to class.”
“I look like a hooker.” I take that back because Aimee dresses this way and she doesn’t look like a hooker. And she wears the outfit with heels. I look like a crack whore. Yeah, that’s better.
“You used to always dress like this,” Kelsey said.
I turned and looked at her. I was wild.
“Yeah, you were kind of a hoe,” she said, smirking. “But an expensive one.” That doesn’t make it any better. “Now, can you please go to school and tell me about some hot college guy that can’t keep his hands off of you.”
I rolled my eyes and kissed her goodbye. She’s staking a claim on my bed today because we had a mini makeover session last night and everything is still spread on my bed, waiting for her to pick them up and use.
“Love you, Becky.”
“Love you, Kelsey,” I said walking out of my room.
Matthew was shoving a notebook into his backpack as I walked downstairs. I saw a tiny pink note fall out of his bag and land on the floor and I smiled. His ‘girlfriend’ sends little love notes written on pink paper. They’re not dating but they’re spending a lot of time together lately. Finn has a girl named Gabriella and Matthew has Katrina. The girls are best friends so if they’re together, the guys bring them over and they have a mini double date. It’s mostly just doing homework and playing Xbox but it’s cute.
I bent down and picked up the note and handed it back to Matty. “Might want to keep these safe. Girls love when guys keep their things,” I said, giving him the you-know-you’re-going-to-do-it look.
He blushed as he plucked it from my fingers.
“Dad made pancakes and bacon,” Matty said, stuffing the note in his backpack. “Are you going to eat with us?”
“I was thinking of grabbing breakfast with Aimee,” I said. Aimee is actually fun to be around and the fact that she wants to be around me is nice. I thought Alice was my other half. She will always be but a person can’t have just one friend…and since she’s gone, I’m technically friendless.
“Logan going to be there?” Matty asked cocking an eyebrow at me.
Oh, god. Here we go again.
Ever since Aimee said she’s trying to hook us up, she hasn’t stopped. I found out that Logan has already had his fair share of college women so he’s not really looking. The women just come to him and what is he going to say, ‘no, I don’t want to have sex with you?’
Aimee wants us to hook up because apparently it’s fate. I don’t fall to my knees when Logan is around like every other girl and he can’t seem to stop calling me a bitch. I don’t see it but she does. And the fact that he kiss raped me the first day of school keeps the flame going. She is not going to stop until we have sex. And Logan already said she gets what she wants. Too bad. Aimee doesn’t control my vagina and she doesn’t know that I’m a tough bitch that won’t crack easily.
“Probably. The twins are always together,” I said, not giving a shit.
“Well…” Matty said eyeing my clothes. “He won’t ever want to leave after seeing you today.”
I’m stopping this right now.
“Bye, Matty,” I said grabbing my bag. I made sure my laptop was inside then waved at Dad in the kitchen.
I felt like I was on a different planet when I got onto the train. All the usual people I see heading to school or work did a double take of me and haven’t stopped staring. I really wish I snuck a sweater into my bag. I can only imagine what people at school will do.
I practically sprang out of my seat when the train doors opened. I power walked out of the station and went straight to my first class. People would describe me as a blur at this point.
I skipped breakfast and I really don’t care. Having everyone look at me was super creepy and awkward and skipping food was the only option.
When I pushed my way through people and got to my class, I sat all the way in the back and tried to hide like a turtle in its shell. It didn’t work. People walked in and their eyes fell on me. Staring. I don’t know what they’re thinking but I know some of them are already labeling me as the bad girl. A slut maybe. Trouble. A lesbian?
“You look good,” Logan said appearing out of nowhere, scaring me shitless. “Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.”
I glanced behind me and watched as he walked out of class. Aimee took his place, walking in. She was all smiles when she sat down beside me.
“You…are f-ucking gorgeous,” she said eyeing my arms. She only saw my tattoos when I was wearing a loose t-shirt so she didn’t see my upper arms but since I’m in a tank top, they’re all out in the open. I think she likes what her eyes are looking at. “Please stop wearing the sweaters. You need to be looked at.” I’m not a painting.
Her eyes found mine and I swear, for a moment, it looked like she was going to kiss me, lick me or just rip my clothes off and finger f-uck me.
“Thanks,” I said, turning my eyes away from her.
“Ms. Lennox,” Professor Red (that’s not his name but he always looks red so Aimee and I called him Red) said looking around the room. f-uck me. “Ms. Lennox?”
“Coming,” I said standing up.
Goddammit. This is the worst thing to happen right now. I walked down the stairs and ignored all the lingering eyes and whispers. You’re not embarrassed or ashamed, Becka. You’re beautiful. I took a deep breath and made my feet move. When I got down to Red’s desk, he looked up at me and words couldn’t leave his mouth.
“Uh…ah…I…um…”
“Is this about the homework assignment?” I asked. I think I aced it. I spent all day Saturday typing up the notes and trying to make everything piece together for a short essay.
Red cleared his throat. “No, I know a few doctors at Children’s Hospital and they’re looking for two people who can volunteer a few hours a week. Your name came up,” he said.
“Oh.” Not homework then. “That seems like something I’d do but I have a job and the hours–”
“It counts as being in class,” he said, waving his hand in the air with puckered lips. “It’s just for three days. An hour long.” His dark eyes smiled. “You get to skip class.”
It’s like he doesn’t want me here…
“Uh, sure. Yeah,” I said. I get to be a volunteer nurse.
“Excellent,” Red said grabbing a pen. After he wrote something down on a piece of paper, he handed it to me and sent me away. It’s a volunteer worksheet. I’ll be doing three hours of nurse duty. Passing out medication, cleaning beds, talking to children. It’ll be easy. It’ll be fun.
I always wanted to do things a nurse did.
I always wanted to be useful.
“Please tell me you get a sexy nurse’s outfit,” a guy to my right said with a killer smile. This class is too big for me to remember names so I have no idea who he is. And it’s not like I put myself out there either.
“Already have one for Halloween,” I said in a voice I haven’t used in months. Holy shit! Lock it away, Becka! Lock it away!
“I’m Darren,” he said grabbing my arm, trying to keep me from walking. I smiled and shook him off me.
“I’m walking away.”
As I walked up the stairs, I accidently looked over my shoulder and caught him looking at me. The fact that he’s chewing on a pen and looking sexy doing it, is making all the right muscles clench.
I looked away and walked back to my seat.
“Ms. Mercer,” Red called out.
No way. Aimee is going to be the second person. Wow. I thought I would be stuck getting to know some random schmuck but it doesn’t look that way. Hopefully Aimee wants it.
Two minutes later, she’s walking up the stairs and flashing smiles at everyone. I couldn’t help but laugh softly because she’s so nice. I thought she’d be a preppy asshole but she’s not.
Aimee shuffled past a few students and sat down, sliding me a piece of paper. “Darren said to give this to you.”
I glanced at the note and found a number. Above the number has one of the cheesiest lines I’ve heard all my life. I’m feeling sick. I think I need a nurse.
“Girls have nothing but good things to say about him,” Aimee said, nudging my arm with her elbow.
“What happened to me and Logan?” I asked, raising an eyebrow. She keeps trying to have us naked but now she’s throwing me to Darren.
Aimee sighed. “You two clearly hate each other. I need more time to fix that. In the meantime, go have fun.”
I wish.
I know his name.
I stuck the number in my purse because if I leave it behind, Aimee will just give it back in our next class.
The rest of the day went by in a haze.
I was stared at like a science experiment but once everyone saw what all the noise was about, they left me alone and went back to talking about whatever they were talking about.
I heard heels clicking behind me so I assumed it was Aimee. I stopped and turned, about to tell her that I was meeting her at the dining hall so she didn’t need to stalk me when I saw it wasn’t Aimee. It’s a stunning redhead with a little bit too much makeup on.
“Are you friends with Aimee?” she asked.
We haven’t labeled it but in a way, I guess. I know she’s from Bethesda, Maryland. She has no other siblings except for Logan and her parents are happily married. I’d say I know some friendlike things.
“Yeah,” I said.
“Great. Tell her to stop texting Victor. He broke up with her for a reason. It’s pathetic,” she said. Excuse me? Now she doesn’t look so hot.
“It’s pathetic how you have to tell me to tell her,” I said stepping into her personal space. “If it bothers you then tell Aimee yourself. And maybe it’s not Aimee texting Victor. Check your boyfriend first.”
Aimee hates the guy. She told me she’d rather jump off a bridge or get hit by a train then talk to him again. He really broke her heart and she’s not falling for his shit again. Maybe Victor is texting her and blaming it on Aimee. What an asshole.
Redhead rolled her eyes at me and walked away. That’s what I thought. I walked into International Village and headed to the dining hall. I have an hour and a half until work and Kelsey kind of warned me that if I come home, she’ll hack my Facebook and post girly shit. I told her I didn’t care because I don’t even go on Facebook and she retaliated with threatening to tell Dad why I got a tattoo of the word ‘harder’ on my right hip. That’s only visible for the eyes that undress me so I have no idea how she saw it but she did. And I don’t know how she knows why I got it but I don’t want Dad to know that was gotten after a threesome with juniors back in Seattle.
Those were fun times.
I found Aimee, Logan and some other guy sitting at a table near the back so I walked over with my eyes passing over other students as I walked. They’re still staring but I’m trying not to cringe or lash out. I used to dress like this. I used to love the attention.
As I stopped at Aimee’s table, Redhead followed. How the f-uck did she get here so fast? She literally walked in a different direction.
“Oh, god,” Aimee muttered.
“Valarie, just leave her alone,” Logan said looking up.
“Stop talking to Victor,” Redhead, Valarie, said throwing daggers at Aimee and sneering like a wild cat. “It’s like every second you’re there, stalking him.”
“I’m not stalking that piece of shit,” Aimee said, standing up, her bubbly attitude now popped.
“You keep texting him,” Redhead said, with a hand on her hip. Like that does anything. She looks like a bitch and that is just amplifying it.
Aimee laughed and said, “I haven’t texted him since we broke up. He found you a day later so there was no point getting back with him. I don’t share diseases.”
Redhead lunged at Aimee but I saw it coming a mile away because of the way Redhead’s eyes narrowed. I reached out and grabbed her arms.
“I suggest you walk away now,” I said. “Your boyfriend is probably cheating on you. Leave Aimee out of it.”
“Let go of me,” Redhead snapped, clawing at my arms.
“Hey!” I said shoving her back a bit. “Don’t f-ucking scratch my tats, bitch.” Nobody fucks up my designs. All of these mean something to me and I will not have them ruined. My wrist is the exception. It’s bare so I don’t have to redo anything. “Walk the f-uck away and find your boyfriend.” I gave her the dirtiest look I could muster up and didn’t back down.
Redhead glanced at Aimee. “Don’t text him anymore,” she said with venom in her voice. Her green eyes flicked over to me and I see she’s debating what to say or do.
“If you don’t want to wipe your blood off the floor, I suggest you go,” I said making it easier for her. She rolled her eyes and walked away.
“I totally had that,” Aimee said scooting over on the double seat for me to sit. “But thanks anyways. Rebeckah, this is Caleb. Caleb, Rebeckah. He’s an old friend from Bethesda.”
I glanced over at Caleb and my eyes widened a bit. This guy is cute. Not cute like a baby but cute as in he’ll melt your heart with a smile and probably break your heart with one word. He looks like he can even be a model for Hollister. His dark hair is sticking up in the right way and his dark blue eyes look innocent but at the same time, they have a haunted look. Like his childhood sucked kind of look.
“I don’t know who I’ve heard more about you from,” Caleb said picking up a coffee cup. “Aimee is in awe of a girl like you. Tattoos, attitude, your smile. And Logan doesn’t stop smiling like a girl when your name is brought up.”
“Not true,” Logan said matter-of-factly.
“Logan is an asshole so he’s probably smiling thinking of ways to get back at my bitchy attitude,” I said trying to hide in the seat but it’s not working.
Caleb laughed and glanced at Logan. “Now I understand why she kneed you in the nuts. Are you not being a gentleman?” Caleb turned back to me. “These two are a pain in the ass but once you really get to know them, you can’t live without them.”
A quick thought passed through my mind and I feel ashamed for thinking it. The world can live without me.
“You’re from around here,” Caleb said, not asking so he clearly knows. These two have been talking about me.
“Revere.”
“Rebeckah isn’t the showing off kind of girl. We have yet to know more than she’s twenty-one, she has a brother and sister and she lives in Revere,” Aimee said, tilting her head to the side to really look at me.
“I have two sisters,” I said, staring at my lap.
“What? I only heard about a Jacky.”
“Jacky is my older sister. I have a younger sister, Kelsey.” It’s my fault. I don’t like to talk about my family. I held up my right hand and started ticking off fingers with initials tattooed on the insides. “Jacky, Matty, Kelsey and my dad, James.”
“Hmm,” Aimee said nodding.
“Where did you go before you transferred here?” Logan asked. Now he’s acknowledging my presence.
“Why, so you can stalk me more than you already have?” I asked.
Logan stared at me for a bit and I have a feeling he’s trying to understand why I’m the way that I am. I crossed my arms over my chest and leaned back into the seat. He won’t be able to look through my armor.
“University of Washington,” I sighed, when they wouldn’t stop looking at me, waiting for an answer.
“You went far,” Caleb said, catching my eye.
“Life at home sucked,” I said shrugging my shoulders.
“So you ran?” Aimee asked.
It appears so. I don’t see it as running. I see it as finding an escape and finding some place to breathe.
“I was seventeen. I basically had the world to myself. I chose being across the states.” Mom didn’t want me close so I left.
My eyes wandered past a few students then landed on dark ones pulling me in. f-uck. Me. It’s the asshole I had sex with and then he made a scene in this dining hall. He leaned back in his seat and smiled a million dollar smile at me. His eyes even played along. When he jerked his head back, I smiled. He wants to leave. With me.
I guess I made an impression.
I shot him the finger and his smile dropped.
I’d be lying if I say I don’t want to have sex with him. He was really good and my body loved it. I loved it. I know he’s an asshole and I shouldn’t be doing this but I am.
“I have work soon so I should go,” I said standing up. “See you guys tomorrow. Nice meeting you, Caleb.”
“My pleasure,” he said glancing at Aimee. Those two are sharing some pretty hot looks. I don’t know if they dated or had sex but they clearly want to get back in.
I walked past a few tables when I heard footsteps behind me. I glanced at the windows and found the asshole walking behind me in the reflection.
I kept walking.
When I got out of the building, he caught up to me.
“You know, it’s not very nice to flip someone off in a crowded place,” he said, cocking an eyebrow at me.
“It’s not very nice to try and embarrass me in a crowded place,” I said glancing at him. “You’re f-ucking weird for stealing my underwear.”
“I didn’t steal them,” he said stepping in front of me, walking backwards. “You left them on the floor and I found them. I was just returning them.”
I rolled my eyes. “Don’t pull that shit on me.”
He smiled and I know now his real side is coming out. “I thought you’d be just like every other girl,” he said. “So I did what I always do.”
“You’re an asshole.”
“I know,” he said chewing on his lip. “That’s why I’m going to ask if you want to get out of here.”
I placed a hand on my hip and stared at him. I thought me standing here, giving him the time of day, said I wanted to get out of here. With him.
“Why the f-uck do you think I’m out here?” I asked, talking to him like he’s slow. His eyebrows shot up and his smile widened. “I have work in an hour.”
“We can do a lot of things before that,” he said holding out a hand.
I slipped mine in his and got pulled toward his dorm building a block away. We were acting like horny bastards as we signed in and got into the elevator. When we threw ourselves into his room, I placed my hands on his chest and pushed him back a bit.
“You better not f-ucking try anything after this,” I said.
“Like what?” he asked pulling me back into him.
I pulled back and found his eyes. “If you have a camera, you better turn it off.” I’m not an idiot. He sought me out, he tried to play the innocent guy with me and he planned on getting me up here.
A guy like him plans shit.
He took a step back and stared at me for a bit.
“Fine,” he sighed walking over to his closet. He did something then pulled a camera out. “I swear I get consent all the time.”
“Mhmm,” I said, shaking my head.
He came back over to me and pulled my tank top off.
“Wait a second,” he said pinning me against the wall with his arms on each side of me. “You don’t even know my name.”
I smiled and got his jeans off.
“I know and don’t tell me.” Because then he’ll be left here with a hard-on and no one to take care of it.
“You’re so f-ucking sexy,” he growled, sliding my shorts off as he kneeled down.
He is the type of guy to get a girl in bed and just f-uck her until he’s done. He’s not the type to get on his knees and spread my legs while I’m standing up. I know because I know guys like him. But right now, I’m not complaining. He has me moaning as I use the wall for support while his tongue is driving me crazy and his hands are massaging my thighs.
I f-ucking exploded in pure bliss.
I pulled him back up and wrapped a leg around him. He followed the bread crumb and grabbed my other one, holding me up.
You’d think a guy that fucks women on the regular wouldn’t have trouble with rolling the condom on. He did.
“Ohmygod, seriously,” I said taking it out of his hand. “I’m leaning on the wall. You don’t need that much strength.” I rolled it on and grabbed his shoulders for support. “Now f-uck me or I’m leaving.”
“I never thought being snapped at would be such a turn-on,” he said finding my eyes. God! Why is he still talking?
I looked down and then back up at him.
“You’re still not doing your job,” I snapped.
His mouth dropped open a bit then he smiled and closed the distance.